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 fancynanci
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 88
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Why do women date mutiple guys at once?Page 3 of 43    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)
I see nothing wrong with dating more than one person so long as you're not sleeping with them. It's called "looking for the right guy".
 ________
Joined: 12/24/2006
Msg: 92
Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 1/24/2008 4:55:41 AM
Because it would be less expensive.....? Now really --- if the option exists, most would exercise it. It would be rather counter-intuitive if someone didn't --- now wouldn't it...?. I really hate these silly self-evident questions that I somehow still find a need to respond to.
 DyfRynt
Joined: 11/11/2006
Msg: 94
Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 1/24/2008 8:53:31 AM
Okay, this probably isn't politically incorrect, but........
Why do women date multiple guys? Why shouldn't they? Same for men. Personally I wish I understood when "dating" went from "having fun with someone" to "being in an exclusive relationship". Why are people in such a rush to grab on to someone they have just met? Are they that insecure, afraid someone will steal their partner away if they see more than one person.

For me, dating is about meeting different people, with different opinions, life experiences. Dating doesn't come with a lock and key, nor should it. The more you interact with different people in a dating environment, the more you begin to understand yourself and what you truly desire from a partner.

The only caveat, if you are not going to be exclusive from the second date, you need to be up front about it. As long as you aren't lying to anyone, or leading anyone on, I see nothing wrong with dating the field. Nor would I have a problem with a woman I was interested in doing the same.
 Ave Caesar
Joined: 11/11/2007
Msg: 96
Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 1/24/2008 12:07:46 PM
because they can...what is puzzling about this?
 jf468
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 98
Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 1/25/2008 9:53:39 AM
If I was in a committed relationship, then I would only date 1 man. However if I just started dating a man, I would be open to dating other men until I found a man that I really liked.
 4408joseph
Joined: 1/10/2008
Msg: 99
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Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 1/25/2008 11:59:15 AM
could be a number of reasons...
Maybe she has mutiple personalities and each guy she is dating only sees that ONE personality.

(((scratchs head & thinks ...is that cheating??)))

My thoughts, off to do thread search.
 lovableladywanted
Joined: 5/14/2006
Msg: 100
Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 1/25/2008 5:36:38 PM
....... because they can anddddddd because women are promiscuous little devils= do not kid yourself to believe otherwise.
 lovableladywanted
Joined: 5/14/2006
Msg: 102
Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 1/28/2008 3:55:33 AM
Heres a shocker .... Most of these women are probably 'sleeping' with most if not all of these men they are dating. Again its females right .
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 104
Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 1/28/2008 9:46:45 AM

Well...I said before...most men aren't going to be comfortable dating women that are dating other men while dating.
Too many headaches.
And there's always the possibility that you (the man) will lose your "exclusivity" in the relationship.
And that's not a good thing.

No, but women have that same risk, and I guess at this point we've come to accept it as a given when first getting to know someone.

I don't advocate dating someone once you decide you're not interested, or keep dating 4 guys for months, but in the first couple dates when you barely know each other, it's unrealistic to expect people not to be talking to/meeting others. To me that's not even dating, that's just getting aquainted. It's not possible to take it personally at that stage unless you're either really sensitive or get attached WAY too quickly.

Personally, it doesn't bother me at all that a guy doesn't revolve around me the first month I know him - I'd find that to be way too intense and I'd think he SHOULD still be looking elsewhere still. Let's face it, he doesn't know enough about me to start planning a future, technically.

Women are free to date as many men as they want.
They just shouldn't be disappointed or angry when the men they date don't find this to be appealing or attractive.

Most dont like the idea that the OTHER person isn't sitting around alone until we decide we want to call/see them, but people have to have lives. All should want to make sure they make an educated decision when dating and also make sure they're not cutting off someone that's well matched for them while entertaining someone they're not meant to be with.

Finally, most people don't divulge this information anyway, it's not really the other person's business when you're still exchanging names and phone numbers. You're shopping around, and you should be assuming people you meet would want to do the same. It's not personal.
 Born2bewild62
Joined: 4/8/2007
Msg: 105
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Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 1/28/2008 9:56:42 AM
Because what's fair for the gander is also fair for the goose.
JF
 lovableladywanted
Joined: 5/14/2006
Msg: 107
Here this, cause its a good one.
Posted: 1/30/2008 8:20:50 AM
I am not trying to offend women . I am just stating the obvious. I have found that most women will sleep with men early on , it should not be suprising if some or most of these women are sleeping with multitudes of men or at the very least a couple. Do not twist my words around. I never said all. I believe women have as much right to date many men as possible if there is no commitment, let alone sleep with them.
 Fancy Nancy
Joined: 9/18/2005
Msg: 109
Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 2/6/2008 8:32:16 PM
Personally, because I own a Home Business and never go out during the week, as I am to busy. That is the reason I really appreciate POF . Then I get on line in the late evenings and after I chat with someone and feel confident, I make dates for the weekend. Absolutely, I want one Man in my life someday, but until that happens, I intend to keep dating. That's what POF is here for, right. I have had a different date on several weekends. For instance, one Friday evening I met someone, and Sat. evening another Man and on Sunday another. Wow! am I lucky I had previously chatted with each one on POF, and they all asked me out for thoes eveings. It worked out great for me and they each were nice and told me they were glad they met me. Some call back for a second date and some don't. Until a Man finds me and wants to date me exclusively, I will keep fishing. It's that simple. I hope all the lady's on POF do the same.
 Captain Incognito
Joined: 1/31/2008
Msg: 110
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Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 2/7/2008 9:36:02 AM
You catch more fishing with a net than a single line?
 Captain Incognito
Joined: 1/31/2008
Msg: 112
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Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 2/7/2008 10:56:58 AM
Dating to me is just setting a date to meet each other. It is an opportunity to get to know each other and see if you have common interests. If you enjoy the other persons company, then the chances of future dates are better. But it's no more commitment than that date that is set to meet. If you both agree that you are exclusively seeing each other, then I feel you are beyond dating.
 EagleEric
Joined: 11/2/2006
Msg: 113
Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 2/7/2008 11:10:32 AM
Gee how do you know Suzie is seeing 10 other guys at once? Also is she still seeing you? If she is, I guess she might have some interest in you? And exactly what is the correct information? I'd love to know and then I could write it down and hand it out to all the honeys I meet (LOL)!

The Eagle
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 114
Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 2/7/2008 1:01:01 PM
^^^^ my thoughts on dating ...
i assume that anyone i am dating is also dating others until HE tells me he is not.
anyone i am dating should ASSUME i am dating others, until he asks me not to.
period.
this nonsense about only dating one person at a time IS NOT called DATING.
we go on dates for the possibility of finding a person to get to know, to see if we want a relationship with them.
until you are in an EXCLUSIVE RELATIONSHIP with one person, then you are still DATING. AGAIN, this is why it is called DATING.

Exactly. For as long as I can remember, men have done this - so if this isn't a good idea, then they shouldn't have been doing it, no? Not to mention, it's not something that gets discussed, because it's the private business of those individual people while they are single - it's their business.

And therein lays the truth. It is the perception of the beholder which is what previous poster failed to recognize. If getting to know one person is the objective, then dating several people simultaneously cause a hindrance to this discovery given the half hearted energy you will give the initial date.

*First of all, women can multitask. We can watch TV, talk on the phone, balance a checkbook and watch dinner cooking. Well, that's a joke....sort of.
*Second, unless we're dating more than one guy in the same room in the same night, we'd have to be pretty dumb not to be able to focus on that one person at that time.

You have more than one friend, right? Isn't it silly to say having more than one friend in your life means you can't focus on any of the others? What about working a job? Isn't going home at night and having a personal life in fact not focusing on your job? How on earth are you able to do both in one lifetime? It's not that big a deal.

It was related to how you perceive a man who disclose that you are one out of many he is seeing. Do you still pursue him with intensity and respect knowing it is most likely not reciprocated? Most men will disengage once this information is disclosed as they no longer see you as a credible option, no matter how good the initial perception. I think there is a difference between men and women here hence why I posed the question.

I wouldn't care or change anything UNLESS I perceived him as bragging or using it to get a reaction out of me. In that case, I'd probably walk, not because he's dating (because it's part of being single), but because I don't have interest in him using the information to get any sort of leverage or whatever the case may be.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 116
Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 2/7/2008 1:29:15 PM
Betty,

You are usually very insightful and this is no exception. I fully understand your assessment. However, males and females look at this differently. Can males be hypocritical about it. For sure. But this little analogy has no validity.

The friendship analogy is exactly the same. It's a relationship for which you are close, you care and yet you can actually balance more than one.

Also, having multipe jobs simultaneously will most likely cause you to be mediocre at all of them (at best).

I have done more than one different job for years, and done well at both. You leave it where it is when you leave. Period. It's a matter of being in the moment where you are with the job you're doing.

Why? Becasue of emotions and more importantly, the emotions of the other party.

So your friend should be considered when you talk to another one? Should you talk to them and let them know you're considering having another friend?

In males situations, you are also including their ego which is not a hinderance among friends.

NO, but it WAS a problem for females for a long, long time. We didn't like it, but guess what? We got no sympathy for it - it was the name of the game, and we had to get used to it. So guess what? Now we're not only used to it, but we agree that it's a good tactic.
Not so good when women do it tho is it?

Ego or not, this is simply men saying it's only something that's good if they're doing this, not when it's being done to them. At least women are ok with both sides, and we're not being hypocritical about it.

Should women date men they really like for months without any sign of it going anywhere? No. Should they date until they meet someone they really want to get to know? Absolutely. Once that happens, and she decides to stop and focus on that one guy, what would the issue have been?

In the past when I chose to change jobs I did it without rush, and picked what company I would be interested to work for by getting information about the company and the position they had open and comparing it to my goals. I didnt just fax blast my resume and see what responses I got. It not so much if they wanted me but it was if I wanted them.

Job analogies are bad in a sense. Surely you would leverage yourself to the best position with the biggest chance for growth and the most money? You picked a company, so I assume in order to do that, you looked at many. What's the difference?

What if three companies provided all you wanted with slight differences. Wouldn't you be crazy not to interview all three and actually get a one on one feel for the company, the personalities and the way they operated?
 Captain Incognito
Joined: 1/31/2008
Msg: 117
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Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 2/7/2008 1:32:33 PM
Sure we're all lying.
 Captain Incognito
Joined: 1/31/2008
Msg: 119
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Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 2/7/2008 1:57:30 PM


What I am saying is that men, because of their egos, will not give you this benefit of the doubt. And that was the point I was trying to make a while back.



1) which is why i would not discuss dating others, unless he is discussing NOT dating others. ;)

2) which is why men should never ask questions of women about dating and sex that they cannot handle the answers to.


Quoted for truth.
I'm not going to worry about a womans past. I'm more interested in the now while she's with me. If she wants to share some of the "loser stories" when we're more comfortable with each other, then we can have a good laugh.
 Captain Incognito
Joined: 1/31/2008
Msg: 120
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Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 2/7/2008 2:59:18 PM


PuukaInEdmonton...you better worry at least a little about someone's past because what you don't know CAN hurt you.


Yes and in more ways than one!!! And that is why there is no benefit of the doubt from the males who actually use the large head to make decisions! All Weather, I like the way you think!! I'm with you all the way here.


*Grrrs* at sheltered life that I've led and my naivety. I was thinking more along the line of women that -just- date and are not looking for intimate encounters. I would be somewhat leery if it was what I considered "too soon" in a relationship before getting intimate (assuming this is what you are referring to, if not, then I truely am clueless and am glad I'm not looking to get in to anything right now)
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 121
Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 2/7/2008 3:53:36 PM

uglybetty, ( I like the twist on that name) The differance is looking at companies is done without involving other people.

People run companies, and more than one interview with a company that you can actually help if you are unique in what you can offer may involve dissapointment. But it comes with the process, not THAT different from dating. You may meet someone you like and want to stick with, but you also know that they have to go with someone they click with physically, mentally, etc. If you don't click with them in that way, you're aware that they will probably continue to look...and it's part of the process.

Dating is involving others and thier feelings.
Looking is one thing, doing is another.

You can only look so much in both situations before you have to visit and experience. Feelings aren't particularly heave when you've not known someone for more than a month. Again, if you're dating someone who's in love with you for six months and dating others as well, that's one thing, but early on, there's no attachment (unless someone gets overly attached or puts too much into it too soon, which - let's face it isn't wise); as time goes on and you get to know each other beyond the initial, THAT's when feelings get involved.

What has this world come to when people are being treated as things and opportunities?

People are at the helm of all of that...early on it's about making sure you aren't making the wrong choices and fact finding. Attraction is part of it, but you can't base a whole relationship on attraction. There has to be more - ya gotta do your homework.

I too go out on many first dates and some seconds, but once you meet someone and it turns into seeing that same person more, then its time to make the effort and close the interviews until you have given an effort to see where that ONE will take you.

You and I don't disagree on that, but until you've decided it's a definite or not (outside of the attraction/extreme personality mismatch, which you can gauge in about 8 minutes tops) to go further, you're still in that dating zone.

Those that are here just to have fun and do serial dating , thats OK, just let the person you meet, know upfront what they are getting into if it goes past the first date. I am not saying I will totally rule out the possibilty of seeing someone on a casual level, if I was feeling the same way about her, but let it be a joint decision or walk away.

Personally (and ironically) I don't date to settle down because I think it should happen naturally...and dating with a goal is a lot like a business plan. I believe that once you do like someone and things develop, there should be no pressure to make it a certain thing or time frame as much as you should just enjoy it.

For me, it'll always be casual dating until someone comes along that sparks a desire in me to go beyond casual dating.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 122
Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 2/7/2008 4:20:55 PM

Wow uglybetty..what a complement that you took all that time to totally disect my post and address every single point I covered.
Thats better feedback then some date I have gone out on...lol

That's what happens when I sit with my green tea, I get all "point by point" about stuff.

I still think it sounds like a big case of "in search of the BIGGER BETTER DEAL in here.

I think a lot of times the "best suited partner" gets misunderstood as the "BBD"...although some continuously shop with no clue what they really want, most are looking for the package that's perfect for them.

....I can never type "BBD" without thinking Bell, Biv, Devoe. It's just the DJ in me, I guess.
 ForeverLong
Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 126
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Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 2/8/2008 1:58:18 PM
Because they cannot make up their minds, they are afraid of commitment or most likely just are taking advantage of fools that most men are. If the woman cannot make up her mind and only date me after a few dates, I'm out of there.
 forum101
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 130
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Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 2/15/2008 9:12:28 AM
I think it is alright to date more than one person at a time. Why put all your eggs in one basket? Of course when intimacy or commitment come into the relationship, its a different matter. Why quit fishing just because one is circling the hook?

Honestly though, i dont have the time or energy to go out with more than one guy==dating gets tiresome after you do it 3 or 4 times a week. If im going to see someone more than 3 or 4 times, and am trying to build something with them, Im not going to be seeing anyone else. But if it is casual, yeah, go out with ever how many you want.
 blondie-blues
Joined: 2/15/2008
Msg: 131
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Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 3/11/2008 12:01:50 AM
1st off, dating is just that.. dating! There can be many reasons for a person to date from one extreme to the next. Some people are looking for good company with no strings, others for potential relationships... let me stress "potential". Initial dating is NOT a serious relationship, therefor, unless the commitment level has been agreed upon, there is no reason to assume that it exists.
Reasons why some may date more then one person? Could be just the luck of the draw on timing. Have you never been interested in more the one person at a time? What would you do if both happened to show interest in you at the same time? Sometimes there is nothing on the dating front and sometimes when it rains it pours. The poor soul can't win! lol.
Dating is also a learning experience. The more you date the better knowledge you may gain of learning about yourself.. your likes, your dislikes, what attracts you, the qualities you look for in a mate, your goals for the future, and the type of person you want to share it with. You may find some things you never thought were important to you truely are. Even the worst dates can have positive outcomes in your prospective of what you want in your future.. or dont want for that matter. When you have a better understanding of what you desire, its easier to bypass the people who arent right for you, no matter how great they are, and get closer to the one who is. Then its back to square one with seeing if there is "potential" with that person, and eventually, hopefully, agree on commitment.
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