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 AUTHOR
 cncgandolf
Joined: 7/29/2007
Msg: 14
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Am i wasting my time here?Page 5 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
"Also if it matters, she is 25 and I am 39."

IMHO - irrelevant

"I am on this site because we have broken up and I now consider myself single"

Wise move, again just IMHO. She's a swinger and you clearly are not

"Another bit of info, I was always there while she did these things. "

That is implied consent and approval. You wanted other things in a relationship. Hence, again, wise for you to move on to someone who does want a committed relationship.
 Ron9
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 15
Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 12/27/2007 8:42:20 PM
Yup Yup Yup ......

About the time I ask myself “self - isn’t it about time to stop putting it off and get a girlfriend?” ........

I read things like this and ......... forget all about getting a girlfriend lol
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 17
Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 12/27/2007 9:21:59 PM
Can I b!tch slap you?

But dude, don't feel too bad. Look at you, you're a 39 year old dude that instead of starting to see a glass half empty you are seeing that is not only half full, but it will get a hell of a lot more better. Two things that stroke me wrong. And it's just me. Too much text and checking on each other, it not only comes across as needy, but quite frankly it gets annoying. You want THEM to be checking on you, wanting you, wandering where you are, why have you not called them. A guy I met once said, chase and they will run away, pull back and they will come to you. This is so true it is ridiculous. I've left chics because at the time just well boring, and they called and they checked what I was doing and was I pissed or okay. You need to change those dynamics. Second, should you have told the chic about the other girl after her little thing. Yes. Should you have cut off the date. NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT. She now has your balls in a yard. She cheats on you. Then she wants back. And you wussed up to her. She doesn't want you back. She wants to be put in her place. If you don't, she will dump you. If you tell her your rules of engagement (without any wooshy sh!t) she may look at you with interest. The tell her you are not quite interested.
 theforumfiend
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 18
Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 12/28/2007 12:12:24 AM
Ca – rack!! That’s the sound of a whip…

You need to gather what you have left of your self respect and stay away from the so-called girlfriend. She obviously does not respect you and respect is a major corner stone in building a relationship.
 UR 2 girls away from 3sum
Joined: 12/23/2007
Msg: 22
Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 12/28/2007 6:20:17 AM
she wanted to work things out with me and insisted I cancel the date. I did. Am I stupid?
Yesss!!!!
Why don't you just wrap up your balls and mail them to her? It will be less painful in the long run ...
 docanaheim55
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 24
Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 12/28/2007 2:22:31 PM
Agrees with Texann on this one with a nickle to add. Young women seek security
their lives are molded on the premise. I'm not knocking the Ladies here. What I am
saying is this : You are providing somewhat of a secure place for her to "Crash",
therefore when she looks at the "on the other hand situations" she choses to take
the road most traveled. In layman's terms she trades a piece for a place to stay and your emotions are simple stew to her. The phone off thing is as black and white as they come.
It's as easy as saying bugger off this guy is screwing my brains out and text messaging
your lame ass is the least thing on my mind. No punches pulled guy but you are being PLAYED!! WAKE UP!! Nothing comes without a price and you are paying for what your getting and the price is getting ready to go up! My suggestion: Pack her S--t and show her the door. Just think about all the other strange stuff you talked about. You wanted a relationship, she wanted a friendship with benefits.........Yours!! Young stuff is great
but she won't keep your feet warm on a cold winter's nite.

Doc
 Ron9
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 25
Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 12/28/2007 3:01:17 PM
It was not her fault.

The guy’s dog accidentally turned off her phone. They were just watching TV (Leave It To Beaver reruns) with his parents and the minister of the local church.
 BrownEyedLeo
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 27
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Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 12/28/2007 4:36:04 PM
Yes you are stupid. What is even worse is your need to have us verify your stupidity.
 ~blue eyes~
Joined: 11/16/2006
Msg: 28
Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 12/28/2007 4:47:03 PM
Leave her now before you do something really stupid.
She had no reason to go with that guy in the first place, especially not to his home after 1 AM if she was in a real relationship with you. Open your eyes and move on.

If you continue to stay with her you will be stupid.
 *Babydoll272*
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 32
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Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 12/30/2007 8:26:09 AM
Wth the questions you asked and the scenario you just typed out.... Stupidity doesn't even begin to describe this .

Message 33 said it all in a couple of sentences.

I will be blunt. She's got a hold on your dcik.

Find someone more your age who has been there, done that and doesn't need to do it anymore. This sounds like something one would do in highschool.

You sound like such a nice guy but intelligence isn't an issue when it has to do with the heart. Most of us are stupid or a nicer way of putting it...BLIND...when it comes to making sense to something that is so clear to others who have no emotions invested....me included. So from someone (me) with no emotions invested and can see very clearly...please take the blinders off and let her go...it's only a matter of time anyway.
 RoadTrip3500
Joined: 10/28/2006
Msg: 33
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Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 12/30/2007 11:14:44 AM
When I come in late to a thread, I make sure I read the whole thing, and not just reply to the first post. The benefit of that is seeing if additional information appears... i.e. the OP posts again to clarify something or interact with those who are responding. Red flag if the OP has not returned.

Assuming the original story is true, I agree with the general theme of the advice... although surprisingly very few touched on the possible "Daddy issue" this girl may have, instead of piling on the guy for wanting arm candy. I do have female friends who are notably younger than me, but I try to keep them to a "big brother-little sister" relationship - someone they can talk to about anything on their mind and get an honest conversation in return. I have zero interest in dating them, and I don't allow them to "fall" for me. When it looks like they're headed that way, I set them straight immediately so there's no misunderstanding or hurt feelings.

As I have often said to friends, you can't have sex 24/7 - so if there's not enough in common that you want to spend the rest of the day with them, you're just in it for the physical and not the mental. And in the case of the OP, they both appeared to be in it for the physical - and thus both share in the responsibility/blame.

Of course it's a boost to the ego to have someone much younger and exceedingly attractive show interest. But is it realistic in the long run? Not often enough to count on.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 43
Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 12/31/2007 9:56:04 AM

Guys don't have female friends, they have girls they know that they want to fcuk and girls they are trying to fcuk. A guy does not buy drinks at a bar for the interesting writer dude at the other table, or the girl that he thinks is disgusting at the end of the bar. He buys drinks for the girls he is ATTRACTED to.


You still buy drinks at a bar? Wow. When was the last time that worked? 1970? Dude, never buy a woman a drink, unless she paid for the first round. The thing is, that even if the buying of the drinks has worked for you, you can achieve the same and about 300 percent more, by not buying her a drink. Why? Women go to a bar and they don't want to spend any money, so they look for two types of men, one that would buy her a drink, and one that she will like. And most of the time they are not the same man.
 UR 2 girls away from 3sum
Joined: 12/23/2007
Msg: 45
Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 12/31/2007 10:39:37 AM
Hahaha^^^ So I guess it is fine to accept drinks from superficial guys!!! Hahahaha.
Only superficial people like you do I suppose. I know a lot of men that buy drinks for their friends or people they respect.
Does that mean you "respect" the guys you are not interested in? Who is superficial here??
 swingpup
Joined: 10/21/2006
Msg: 49
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Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 12/31/2007 11:45:53 AM
Per the scenario you painted.....You may desire not to burn the bridge as it sounds like when the two of you hook up it is good. If she desires to be "on the list" great and if she is unable to deal with "when our schedules meet" then she'll be the one left out. Get out there have fun and enjoy...Good luck.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 50
Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 12/31/2007 4:06:15 PM
I realize you've only been here a short time. Only you can determine if it's worth your time or not. If you have other alternatives perhaps you should be exploring those, too.

It's a judgment call noone else can make, I will tell you this it often happens when you least expect it. Read the testimonials thread, I see that all the time.

Best of luck fishing and a Happy 2008!
 DDay555
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 54
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Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 1/1/2008 12:01:04 PM
How about dating someone your own "Mental" age as well. Obviously someone that much younger than yourself is going to have different views on important life issues. She did you a favor. Move on, get over it, NEXT!

And dude, my Daughter's only a little younger than your "GF", you're creeping me out... Robbing the cradle and you got caught...
 parry10
Joined: 1/14/2006
Msg: 56
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Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 1/4/2008 3:39:06 PM
Denial is a wonderful thing......


....serious mate.......you're torturing yourself and you're heading for a big fall.......she has you right where she wants you......caring people don't hurt their partners like this.....she's not done yet......just watch
 Ave Caesar
Joined: 11/11/2007
Msg: 59
Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 1/4/2008 5:23:55 PM
Sounds like it's over.
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 64
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Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 1/6/2008 11:15:58 PM
PSVT... sorry for your troubles. Sometimes we need to bash our head against a brick wall a time or two, just to get the message. I'm inclined to say don't beat yourself up for hoping it wasn't going to be this way. We love, we hope.

But in the cold light of day, take a good look at why you allowed such nonsense... because you yearn for something you were getting in part from this girl. Enough that you allowed her to disrespect you for a time.

All the best OP.
 This Journey
Joined: 9/28/2006
Msg: 66
Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 3/6/2008 8:21:47 AM
It is uncertain to as what pleasures you get from the relationships you form or, why you choose to remain within the ones you supposedly have? You see sir, you are the only one who knows the answers and have the solutions to all the questions you ask. And, by your conduct sir, you have already made your conclusions as to where your preferences shall be.

It is never a waste - Time always presents to us many opportunities to learn.
The sad part is we often fail to grasp the essence of the lessons that were presented to us.
 satx78218
Joined: 10/30/2007
Msg: 67
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Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 3/6/2008 8:24:15 AM
OP must be making some kind of joke.

I laughed

(at him)!

 isogem
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 70
wasting your respect
Posted: 3/6/2008 11:16:07 AM

Removed from Forums
 hilltop70
Joined: 3/4/2008
Msg: 72
Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 3/7/2008 1:47:26 PM
having went through something similar i can tell if it wlks like a duck quacks like one it probally is one
 shomesomethin
Joined: 5/4/2007
Msg: 73
Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 3/14/2008 3:37:31 AM
I don't think you are stupid, but you are allowing her to treat you in a manner that she probably would'nt tolerate from you. You've probably heard of the golden rule, obviously she has not.
Shomesomethin
 dincher
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 81
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Am i wasting my time here?
Posted: 5/14/2008 5:58:51 PM
Why would you want to date someone who is much younger than you anyway? That's exactly what you get when you do that. People in their 20's are still partying. You need someone who's over thirty
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