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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > At our age, what is acceptable for contacting the guys?      Home login  
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 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 26
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At our age, what is acceptable for contacting the guys?Page 2 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
At our age and maturity........almost everything is acceptable for contacting each other......

Maybe we want to use some discretion, class, and tact, but contacting is a two way street since we are not teens anymore, looking for a prom date........

I appreciate all those that make the effort to know me better, and I have responded to each that have emailed me to at the least thank them for initiating the contact and interest. I think it is the least all of us can do for each other and not just "read and delete" or even worse, "unread deleted", which for me is an insult but one that tells me how crass and undeserving the person is.....which is better to know right now, and not down the road when their true personality and style appear........

Just my opinion........
 StarreGazer
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 27
At our age, what is acceptable for contacting the guys?
Posted: 1/8/2008 4:04:31 PM
Msg: 1



He can see that I visited his profile, I like to think that he would contact me, but that hasn't been the case so far.


Visiting a profile, is that an invitation? To me, that means, at the most, an idle interest. I visit MANY profiles all the time, most of them due to the fact they have posted something on the forums that sparked my interest. MOST fail my initial query for one reason or the other, and mainly it is because of distance. FWIW, I just visited your profile. It says you live in Texas. I live in Mississippi. You are too far away. Does that mean you are a bad person, whom I would prefer not knowing? NO, of course not. In this case, DISTANCE is the problem, which at present can't be easily resolved. I refuse to relocate, and presumably you may have the same restriction. Why should I try to contact you when there is such a formidable barrier between us? How would we ever meet? I am of very modest means, and I presume you to be as well. Why raise hopes of something that can never realistically be?



And isn't this the kind of gameplaying that we all say we hate so much???


I don't play games. Games are for users and abusers, and I fit into neither category.



Maybe just seeing this in writing is helping....if I see a guy I want to meet, just send him a message!


And why not? Even in Victorian times, when it was STRICTLY taboo for the woman to initiate contact, if she were truly resourceful, she could DEFINITELY find ways to make known her interest.

These days, such taboos do not exist.
 yepper1218
Joined: 10/4/2006
Msg: 28
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At our age, what is acceptable for contacting the guys?
Posted: 1/10/2008 3:57:44 AM
I feel that at our age why not why shouldn't we just do what we want. This dating world has changed so much I thing everything has changed in it. Hell think about it when I was a kid you were lucky to get a kiss on the 1st date now you can get anything on the 1st date. ( so I have heard and read) Well I say if you would like to contact someone then just do it we are not getting any young and it is time for us all to enjoy our lives and not care what someone thinks.
 Mike72801
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 29
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At our age, what is acceptable for contacting the guys?
Posted: 1/10/2008 4:02:08 AM
I am dating a woman who made the first move. I can only speak for myself, but I am flattered to be contacted first.
 DenaliDadd
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 30
At our age, what is acceptable for contacting the guys?
Posted: 1/10/2008 7:35:53 AM
I think at our age it's quite appropriate for either gender to make the first move. We aren't in Junior High anymore - and I say that knowing that it shows my age--those middle years haven't been called "Junior High" in years; they're "Middle School." Most of us have been married at least once, we have our scars, baggage, and limitations that we carry. And I agree with the OP...playing those 'games' is what we did in the 50's. They went out of style in the '60's with the rise of feminism and should not be resurrected.

"If you see a guy you want to meet, just send him a message." Good plan! Our 20-Something children can help us grow out of that rut, if we let them!

 DenaliDadd
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 31
At our age, what is acceptable for contacting the guys?
Posted: 1/10/2008 7:39:50 AM

Contact him - send him an email and tell him he's cute!


Emailing: You're cute!

 flowerforce
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 32
At our age, what is acceptable for contacting the guys?
Posted: 1/10/2008 11:05:13 AM
As an adult it is your task to examine the values you were taught and let go of the ones that no longer work for you. So is it working for you to look at a man's profile and hope he will respond? Does that get you the contact you are seeking? I say if the man and the profile look interesting to you then send along a note. Indicating an interest is just that. We are not forward or s***ts . We are looking for a date or a relationship and this is a good way to meet people. If a fellow thinks that is forward etc. he will likely not answer anyway. You have every thing to gain and nothing to loose. Also times have changed.We are modern women not teen aged girls.
 gitarman94521
Joined: 1/7/2008
Msg: 33
At our age, what is acceptable for contacting the guys?
Posted: 1/11/2008 10:57:27 PM
Hi Mom.

I think we are all over the impulsive, hormone-driven stage of dating, where we worry about what He or She might think if we make a first move. What is she says "no"? What if she says "no"? What if no one does anything?

I value a woman who believes I am worth making that first move. I know, you are worried we might think you are "needy". That is not the case. I smile at a woman with adventure in her soul and the confidence that shows her true strength and intelligence.

 GrammyGirl
Joined: 1/5/2008
Msg: 34
At our age, what is acceptable for contacting the guys?
Posted: 1/12/2008 10:38:16 AM
Wouldnt you think that he may assume you are not interested since you looked at his profile but didnt even comment? If I am interested I will send some little note commenting on his profile, either the similarities, the funny, the interesting..etc.
 Singlemale1962
Joined: 9/21/2006
Msg: 35
At our age, what is acceptable for contacting the guys?
Posted: 1/12/2008 6:37:05 PM
You know the best advice I can give is just find something interesting to you or him to talk about. If you can have a conversation with each other and are willing to communicate and let each other talk and listen then take things from there.

Best advice is dont go into a relationship with expectations go into it with a sort of curiousity.
 golfwhacko
Joined: 11/12/2006
Msg: 36
At our age, what is acceptable for contacting the guys?
Posted: 1/14/2008 10:36:09 AM
Look at it this way----If you like to be contacted, so do we (men). There are so many positives about getting older. One, at least for me, is the wisdom to allow my emotions to show more.
 gitarman94521
Joined: 1/7/2008
Msg: 37
At our age, what is acceptable for contacting the guys?
Posted: 1/14/2008 12:53:58 PM
It is true, we can all browse the profiles here in "stealth" mode if we want. I won't. If I see a smile on a woman's profile photo, or an interesting headline if there is no photo, then I will read her profile. I often message you girls after doing that.

I believe strongly that if you get a message from someone interested in you, don't refuse to reply. All it takes is "thank you, good luck with your search" and what is that, 2 minutes is too much out of your day? I would say that 75% of you women do not reply at all when you get a message from a man interested in you.

I believe that women should be equal in all ways if they want "equality of the sexes." It's the old fears of "what if he thinks I'm too forward or what if I look too needy?" We are all here to make new friends, right?

If you see my profile, you might just realize that the "Dating Game" is no longer much fun when you reach your "Golden Years." So, feel free to say Hello!
 yepper1218
Joined: 10/4/2006
Msg: 38
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At our age, what is acceptable for contacting the guys?
Posted: 1/17/2008 3:56:01 AM
Ok laties Contact me I'm waiting oh well still waiting lol
 DenaliDadd
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 39
At our age, what is acceptable for contacting the guys?
Posted: 1/19/2008 6:28:58 AM
I think my headline says what I feel: First, break all the rules. Most rules, including--perhaps especially--those in relationship building come from something in our past. And most of them don't have much relevance to our present. So break them. Do what's comfortable for you.

For me, being 'contacted' by a woman is fine. My guess is most men would feel the same way.
 MacKevinized
Joined: 2/15/2006
Msg: 40
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At our age, what is acceptable for contacting the guys?
Posted: 1/20/2008 6:21:55 AM
While you were raised that way many other women were contacting guys with hints to be contacted or outright invitations. I know I got many unpleasant reactions for not 'noticing'.
I't perfectly OK to contact any one you wish and don't be insulted or hurt by a lack of response or stupid responses.
Remember the russian crime syndicates are well entrenched in the dating sites to lure unsuspecting men and women for $$$ gain and don't respond to targets with little chance for collecting and narcissism is rampant.
Other than that, I can tell you I was contacted by a beautiful woman over a year ago and I'm still happy she did.
 AlliKreme
Joined: 10/23/2007
Msg: 41
At our age, what is acceptable for contacting the guys?
Posted: 1/20/2008 3:52:18 PM
Stacismom, if you see someone who stirs you, write! I write to people whenever I've read something in a profile that made me laugh, brought back a fond memory, or aroused me on any level. Don't be shy; just be you!
 Spence56
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 42
At our age, what is acceptable for contacting the guys?
Posted: 1/20/2008 4:01:04 PM
First....IS THAT A REAL SNAKE!!

It's hard to switch to different rules at our age!! On one hand I like being the "guy" and doing all the guy stuff. Holding open a door, first to contact, pay for the date, you know the usual stuff..... On the other hand, technology has zipped upon us so quickly that it's difficult know if the old rules still apply.

Personally, I think that with the sheer number of people that are looking for someone, it's probably a good idea to just grab for what you like. Perhaps someone you might like just has not seen you yet, why take the chance of passing in the ethereal night! Besides, it's just a first contact! How much can it hurt!
 vrector
Joined: 7/19/2007
Msg: 43
At our age, what is acceptable for contacting the guys?
Posted: 1/20/2008 11:12:28 PM
Bravo.... I agree with Beveann. "At our age"? What is that? Doesn't make sense... Here's the reason I stopped by this forum topic. I've found myself leaving little emails stating that it's okay to say hello if a profile interests you. Even if after you read it and discover that person isn't for you, I think a simple hello and have a great day is common courstesy. If might prevent that "what was wrong with me" feeling we all get when people we're attracted to initially don't say hello... Maybe it's just me but I say hello 95 % of the time.. I sometimes ponder what might have been wrong? Why didn't they speak? Except those rare occasions where you've been abruptly criticised for saying hello, I can't see anything wrong with it. You never know, they might have just been waiting for you to acknowledge that you saw them looking as well...

Just a thought. (2)

 yepper1218
Joined: 10/4/2006
Msg: 44
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At our age, what is acceptable for contacting the guys?
Posted: 1/21/2008 9:54:32 AM
vrector
You are so right it only takes a few secs to say Hello back to someone I have emailed a lot to never hear back. I have even email some ladies giving them a complament and never hear anything back. Oh well that is life but would be nice to hear a thank you or something back even if it is to say get lost lol.
: to you Vrector.
 bonniebrownap
Joined: 10/27/2006
Msg: 45
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At our age, what is acceptable for contacting the guys?
Posted: 1/21/2008 10:12:46 AM
OP, I can see that you are new to this Fishing Expedition thingy..... It was awkward for me at first too, but, I have stepped out and said "hello" a few times. I think that anyone that is on a dating site understands that the email goes both ways. This is acceptable behavior.
 jimvonbaden2u
Joined: 10/11/2007
Msg: 46
At our age, what is acceptable for contacting the guys?
Posted: 1/23/2008 5:45:27 PM

So just say "Wanna fornicate"....it will get you a response, I GAY RON TEE.


Fact!

However, I promise the non-players will respond, but with a polite "no thanks".

Jim
 crayonzz
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 47
At our age, what is acceptable for contacting the guys?
Posted: 1/23/2008 6:11:37 PM
Regardless of the age of the women on these boards the modern attitude, the teenage attitude and the legal attitude are all the same.
That is.

1/ ALL forms of contact instigated by the guy are harrassment or stalking.

2/ Teen girls regard this as a good thing as it keep the few genuine creeps away.

3/ Because of this the girl MUST make first contact.

4/ If the guy is not interested then the girl must expect the usual knockbacks.
 adventurer001
Joined: 12/17/2007
Msg: 48
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At our age, what is acceptable for contacting the guys?
Posted: 1/23/2008 9:27:16 PM
At our age we really shouldn't be so anal about the whole thing. This ain't second grade and it damn sure ain't no sandbox. We.ve all been there and it's time to take the gloves off and be real. If that's the one that that turns you're crank let them know., Quit being so scared. Grab life by the ears and scream Weeeeeeeeee.
 ankkka
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 49
At our age, what is acceptable for contacting the guys?
Posted: 3/22/2008 11:43:33 AM
Well...to avoid any kind of rejection...is better do not start any conversation with a person... that you feel from him/her power no less than 500 volts

Let him/her start first!
 DenaliDadd
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 50
At our age, what is acceptable for contacting the guys?
Posted: 4/5/2008 2:02:47 PM
The nice thing about the Internet is that it allows a certain "snooping" to happen without being intrusive. It also allows 'first contact' by either gender with the other--or the same--without there being the instantaneous embarassment that sometimes comes from doing the same thing face-t0-face. So, if you see or read something that piques your interest, go ahead. Make first contact. It might lead to something, it might not. No harm done, assuming you keep personal information to yourself for a bit.

And if there's an inappropriate response, well, it's like the phone. Just "hang up." You don't have to take it. Some men are pigs. Some women are idiots. It's what makes this species so darned interesting!

Gimme that snow ball....
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > At our age, what is acceptable for contacting the guys?