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 AUTHOR
 *buzz*
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 318
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Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?Page 4 of 19    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)
Of course they do! Good romp stirs them on the inside and makes them lovingly perspire on the outside. How joyful and enjoyable?! Some might come across as hiding their emotions, some give them away when coming back for more. Magic of subtlety and perplexity.
 grapevine
Joined: 10/2/2005
Msg: 320
Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 8/6/2008 5:12:15 AM
$#%#$^#^%#!!! GRRRRR!!!!!

I can't believe it's 2008 and we're still admonishing women that she "gave it away too easily."

Well, guess what? He "gave it away too easily" too. How freaking SEXIST can you get? Women don't always feel emotion (that is, fall in love or have feelings of love) when having sex with a guy, but we're EXPECTED to, or at least expected to say we do because, if we don't, we end up getting insipid comments like the one above.

If we have sex on the first date (or "soon"), then get dumped by the guy, or it's obvious he doesn't "care," what's the first thing people think:

1. That she gave it away "too easily."

and/or

2. That she's a whore.

and/or

3. That's she gullible and naive.

I don't believe for one second that all men don't have any emotions when making love/having sex with a woman any more than I believe that all women fall madly in love with every man she sleeps with and dreams of a "happily ever after" with him. Bullshit. I have only been in love with three men in my entire life, and I've had sex with a lot more than that. But did I feel emotions? Of course I did! I'm a human being and, as such, there is no separating the emotional from the physicial, the psychological from the spiritual. They are separate, yes, but equal. It's a package deal.

Men, from the time they are boys, are conditioned to be "emotionless." Well, in quotes because obviously they can't be "without emotion," short of being a sociopath. (And some, I've wondered about) but men very much have emotions and I've become convinced that, although women do wear their heart on their sleeve a lot more than men do, men are far more ill-equipped to deal with their feelings than women are. So, rather than admit any kind of "weakness" on their part, they'll just deny that it "meant anything to them" at all.

Anyone who says there is no emotion involved whatsoever during sex (or anything else, for that matter) is a liar. But don't confuse "emotion" and "feelings" with "being in love," necessarily.

If there was any "mistake" made by sleeping with the guy "too soon," and he judged you for that and abandoned you for that, he's a player and a jerk and a hypocrite and obviously wasn't right for you to begin with.

On the other hand, he could be a good guy who also made the mistake of sleeping with you too soon. If people are going to blame, then let's put blame where blame is due -- on BOTH parties, not just on the woman.

If sex is the emotional "deal sealer" (and for some it is; usually women) then the woman needs to get a grip and realize that having sex with someone is not necessarily a precursor to walking down the aisle. And men who are just playing women emotionally in order to get laid should be ashamed of themselves. There are too many women available for "just sex" that you don't need to go around hurting women who might be easily influenced by your false charm.

Bottom line? If two people have sex with each other on the first date, and a relationship doesn't ensue from it, and there are guilt or hurt feelings about that, BOTH of you slept together too soon BEFORE you gave the relationship time to grow and for real feelings of love, etc., to develop.


As far as the "FWB" thing...if you've been seeing this guy for two years, you ARE his girlfriend. I don't give a damn what he says. And if he's not willing to consider you as such, you should give him an ultimatum: either admit to some level of commitment/emotion on his part, or you'll walk. And then do that. He's stringing you along BECAUSE YOU'RE LETTING HIM!

Friends with benefits? Ha!

Well, guess what? He's the "friend" (and I use the term loosely) and you're BENEFIT!!!
 JohnieTheWiseGuy
Joined: 7/16/2008
Msg: 321
Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 8/6/2008 7:40:39 AM
I think we need a translation here as to probably what really happened more down at street level!

You met a guy 2 years ago on a different dating website...got drunk like most people who have sex on the first date because they're not thinking straight or are either loose or openly/dishonestly seeking that since most don't even have any concerns about STD's...you got on great because you were both buzzed and went back to his place to do the Nookie Wookie.After he got what he wanted he said that he was not looking for a relationship just "friends with benefits" as I doubt he was in the long-term category and you believe the problem is based on emotionless sex...dah...you probably spend more time buying a car or deciding what fruits you're going to buy than the men you pick...you never even asked for the terms or took time to know what you were getting yourself into and now years later you're still wondering why he won't call you his girlfriend...he's getting free Nookie Wookie,seeing you every day without having to deal with a real relationship (as I'm assuming you don't live together),just going on holidays together for fun where you now admit you made a mistake sleeping with him in the first place and I hate to tell you this but you just answered your own question and gave yourself a solution also...take responsibility for your own life/actions instead of trying to find ridiculous reasons for your own mistakes.

In short,forget the psycho-babble people are giving you...both men/women are just the same...some have emotions...some don't.....fact is you had sex on the first night,you had a good time and you get along...still...he told you you're just a friend with benefits with no interest of making you his girlfriend and you feel used...what does that tell you...has nothing to do with emotionless sex...if you want to be called a girlfriend go find yourself a boyfriend that cares by being smarter next time or quit complaining if you decide to stay because you allowed this to happen.

Affectionately yours,
RatzoRico
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 330
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Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 8/8/2008 12:24:00 PM
Please give us more credit than believing and thinking that all men are just lust buckets, with tiny brains located between their legs.......

This is the same old thinking and attitude that so needs to go away and allow 2008 to actually move into our lives and our brains.

This is the kind of attitude that thinks women give it up to fast, and men can not do anything but screw everyone and everything around them.

It is the same antiquated attitude that comes up that all women want money and security, and men will give it to them if they lay down and spread their legs.......

We ALL feel......we all try......and most of us do care, even if our thought processes are not the same, and the roads we travel somewhat different.....we do end up in the same place and happy about it.

OT......I am a man that seeks a woman to enjoy as an equal in my life, walking by my side, and sharing what share, feeling what I feel, and happy to be there with me.

I cringe at the attitudes so many have when it comes to what they believe is the make up of a man or woman today, when it is just not the case.

Just my opinion.......
 JohnieTheWiseGuy
Joined: 7/16/2008
Msg: 335
Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 8/8/2008 10:13:21 PM

Please give us more credit than believing and thinking that all men are just lust buckets, with tiny brains located between their legs.......


YEAH,I AGREE...WHAT HE SAID...and we won't even discuss the men who are scumbags,with no brains or balls between their legs...that would be going too far and it wouldn't be nice...

RatzoRico.
 DenaliDadd
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 337
Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 8/9/2008 5:16:34 AM

2 years is a long time to be with someone and don't know what it is all about...

Two years is a "relationship" that didn't work out. No big deal. Many marriages don't last that long.

And the topic question is silly. Of course men feel something. Nobody is "emotionless." It sounds like the OP isn't willing to take responsibility for her own choices - choices made over and over - in the matter.
 bocaguy3
Joined: 9/26/2008
Msg: 347
Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 9/30/2008 2:35:47 PM
Not all men .. You need to get know someone 1st
 knees999
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 358
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Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 3/20/2009 9:37:23 AM
Yes, I believe that is what men so lovingly like to call "friends with benefits" which covers all their physcial needs and disregards a woman's emotional needs if there are any. Don't stick around because women usually change often, men are happy usually the way they are and do NOT change. A lot of women think they can change a man. Ladies, if he is not the way you want him when you find him, either take him the way he is or MOVE ON!
 knees999
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 359
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Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 3/20/2009 9:38:24 AM
The things is sometimes women think the man's feeling will change and go along with the FWB thing and they don't so don't fool yourself.
 observer902
Joined: 1/13/2009
Msg: 361
Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 3/20/2009 9:52:11 AM
Men don't neccessarily require emotion to have sex. as long as they can find something attractive about the person, they can go for it. Lots of women claim they can also do the same, but experience hasn't shown that to be the case.
 BrianMc777
Joined: 12/24/2008
Msg: 373
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Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 3/27/2009 11:35:58 PM
Dump this emotionless dirt ball and find somebody else. If you aren't his "girlfriend", what are you?
 Go Rin No Sho
Joined: 1/9/2009
Msg: 374
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Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 3/27/2009 11:55:23 PM
Let's see...he's your best friend , you see each other every day, go on holidays together, but you still want the coveted title of "G (with a capital G)irlfriend, because you gave it up two years ago?

File this one under the "Uses Sex to Better Imaginary Position" folder....
 BrianMc777
Joined: 12/24/2008
Msg: 377
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Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 3/28/2009 6:47:54 AM
He is still getting what he wants, but you're not getting what you want anymore. Move on!
 fetish4u
Joined: 4/18/2007
Msg: 382
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Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 3/28/2009 11:37:42 AM
Of course men feel emotionally when they have sex.I love my girlfriend so for me it's not
just physical.Every man is different just like every woman is different.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 383
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Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 3/28/2009 11:45:16 AM
We feel.......and we feel a lot, just not the way most women might feel when it comes to sex.

I think men view and feel more that sex is an "act" that happens because you enjoy it, and most women have the tendency to view sex much more as the end result of their emotions.

We end up in the same place, just via different paths of getting there.......nothing right or wrong with it, just how we overall are wired.

You see.......I can feel much and enjoy much with a woman and still not feel the "in love" thing that so many seem to be searching for. I can be caring, giving, concerned, and overall very pleased with the one I am with, in and out of bed, and yet not feel with my heart to the point that it is controlled by the "L" word.

The difference now, for me at least, is that even though the act of sex is still very very important to me, waking up and wanting that person to still be there is just as important as getting them in bed, in the first place.

Maybe this is one of the best maturing parts of experience and aging, and the one I am with can tell in many ways that I am far from emotionless, and show it many times, and in many ways, and it does not have to be tied to love at all, but much more that ever illusive compatibility and chemistry.

Just my opinion........
 zangie
Joined: 5/30/2007
Msg: 392
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Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 3/30/2009 7:29:02 PM
I've never thought men had no emotions...they are human, most humans ( barring anti social psychopaths) have emotions..

But...I think it is fair to say that there are often differences in how men and women process or express emotions...and this is where the disconnects often happen...
 Verissa
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 411
Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 4/14/2009 12:19:40 PM

So men dont fall in love when they have sex over a long period of time...?

I think its different for women... its harder not to get emotionally involved.


It is different if you want it to be different. I have had a few "friends" over the years that I adore and have had sex with but do not love romantically in the least. Yet my husband, whom I had no intention at first of falling in love with at first, I fell for fast and it hit me like a ton of bricks to the point that I cannot see my life without him. Now what makes him different from the other men I honestly do not know..he is no sweeter, no kinder, no better looking..he is just different in the fact that I fell head over heels in love with him.
 Slip_Kid
Joined: 3/9/2009
Msg: 417
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Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 4/14/2009 7:59:02 PM
My advice to you:

Cut him off and see if he gets emotional then!
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 422
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Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 4/20/2009 9:59:06 PM
I do not differentiate sex/intercourse from love/emotional bonding. That apparently makes me an odd duck. From so many of the comments in this thread there seems to be a prevailing thought that women and fleshlights are equivalent. Ick.

I am not, never have been, never will be a sexual satyr (not necessarily redundant). I do not view sex as a mechanical function void of emotion. It is a bonding / joyful act between (and with this next phrase I'm realize I'm way out in right field) a married man and woman. To me sex is special and should be treated and affirmed as something almost sacred; not to be casually tossed around like a virgin condom. Yeah, I know, I'm an odd duck.

TK; quack, quack
 Romantic man here
Joined: 11/12/2007
Msg: 432
Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 7/2/2011 4:44:20 PM
There has to be romantic feelings for sex to be good for me. One can't generalize a gender men or women that broadly.
 gentleplus
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 436
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Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 7/3/2011 6:26:40 PM
Post #436


Well said.... an ideal lover practices Tantric like methods
 bayliner1102
Joined: 11/26/2007
Msg: 437
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Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 7/3/2011 9:59:07 PM
I will be honest, I don't have sex with a lady unless I feel something with her. I guess I am old fashion
 CharWebb
Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 446
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Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 8/14/2011 8:00:38 AM
It's all just physical for men. They can sleep with someone and feel absolutely NO EMOTIONAL attachment whatsoever. Women on the other hand...fall 'in love' far too quickly - assuming that the man is actually interested in them!
Having been on the receiving end of just such a relationship..I would advocate any woman to simply WAIT and test the emotional waters first. It's really nasty to think someone is emotionally mature enough to want more...and realize after you've been physical...that he simply is not there.

Oh...and ladies...just cuz you sleep with a guy...doesn't mean he won't suddenly have an EX pop back into the picture. Or keep looking for another woman. Or keep dating other women. Wake up....
 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 447
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Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 8/14/2011 8:51:38 AM

They can sleep with someone and feel absolutely NO EMOTIONAL attachment whatsoever.


Thank you for sleeping with all of the men on the planet. I must have been out that week, thankfully.

You paint with a very broad brush, your man picker must be broken.


Oh...and ladies...just cuz you sleep with a guy...doesn't mean he won't suddenly have an EX pop back into the picture. Or keep looking for another woman. Or keep dating other women. Wake up....


See..told you your man picker was broken. Experience speaking?
 yourstillhere
Joined: 7/30/2008
Msg: 457
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Seriously!
Posted: 12/3/2011 6:16:59 PM
of course we feel something.

you wont find too many men who fake their orgasms.
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