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 aprincelyfrog
Joined: 7/25/2006
Msg: 81
Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!Page 2 of 45    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)

I have often found that more than a few men list searching for long term, friends, dating, or hangout in their profiles when really all they are searching for is sex.

I think the vast majority of men approach dating honestly looking for a good woman they can spend their lives with. I think some where in the process she gets knocked off the life partner list on to the lay list... and from there all bets are off.

So what... I dated a woman for three years who did the same thing... ultimately I learned just what kind of a person she truly was...

Why does your freind determine her self worth based on what a man did to her? Sounds like your friend has some deep issues.

Beyond all that crap... I have to ask the OP if she were present on every date? If she knows everything that was said between the two parties involved? If I know one thing, a wounded person will not ever give you the whole truth, they with hold facts that may point to their being at fault so that they can maintain their vicitim status. Serious mental issues here.

And you, the protective friend should be ashamed that you are so blinded by loyalty that you can't look to perhaps the other side of the story... and there is another side to this story!
 asteliapuff39
Joined: 8/9/2007
Msg: 87
Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 10:31:52 AM
I think I see where you are coming from...
But well obviously if they are lied to and they fall in the lie... yeah sure make it something against the law where you can sue someone. Yet after that, since obviously they are not smart enough to detect lies when they see it, they shouldn't be allowed to EVER vote because how many times have we had political candidates lie to us before voting... many of us realize they are lies so we don't vote for whatever candidate, and if your friends and others cant see the truth from a stupid lie, then they shouldn't make important decisions in this country either :)
Would you be ok with that? :)
 ~rain~
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 88
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Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 10:33:24 AM

what if a guy strings a woman along for months on the belief he loves her and she falls in love with him also and feels ok and ready to have a sexual encounter with him...but all along shes just a sexual conquest to him and nothing more!


a "player" isnt going to devote months of their time trying to get a woman i nto bed! They usually go for the easier approach! if you have two consenting adults in an adult relationship. then how can anyone feel "tricked"


example for you if a car sales man told you ..you can buy a car from him for 10 grand but really meant 20 grand after agreements have been signed n sealed would you feel conned..


NO!!...because I have bought a "car" before and I k now what I am getting myself into before I sign. I am also smart enough to read the fine print!


anyhows he stayed with her at her house ....after many innocent dates and she thought she knew him and abd the night he stayed at her house she was mislead into sexual encounter with him...just to discover the next day when he left...


let me guess...he was at her house, and he said to her.."I have candy in your bedroom" she jumped up and ran to see..and then he had sex with her?? Is that how he tricked her?
Ridiculous huh?...and so is this thread!!!!
 venusflytrap
Joined: 5/18/2007
Msg: 89
Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 10:33:56 AM
If you are stupid enough or gullible enough to decide to sleep with someone that you THINK you know, then no matter what the reason you decided it is still your choice. If she is an adult she should be taking responsibility for her own actions that SHE made a bad choice, not the man she thinks played her.

If she is such a good friend are you telling me that none of her friends met him and thought something was a little off? Rarely a player can manage to fool everyone all of the time.Ever think that maybe she was reading way too much into the situation and that he changed his mind about HER, not about the fact that she decided to sleep with him?

Maybe this should be a reality check for your friends that you can't always trust what someone says or their own possible misinterpretation of it; there is also 2 sides to every story and it is very possible that she heard what she wanted to believe without seeing the whole picture.

I had a friend who told me one story after another about a guy she was dating and how he was trying to manipulate her into all sorts of scenarios in her life. To prove a point, she actually taped their entire night of coversation and told me what happened before we listened to it.HER version was that he was trying to manipulate her into things, when reality it was clear to even her after she listened to it that she was just as manipulating right back trying to control the situation with game playing and withholding sex as a reward when she was never aware that she was doing it.
Just to point out that there is always 2 different views and rarely do people have exactly the same view point.
 ~rain~
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 92
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Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 10:38:00 AM
its funny how people use sex as a pawn...

They feel that if they have sex with those who have their attentions.. it will automatically lead into forever and ever...then when things dont work out the way they fantasised...the guy/ gal is a player, a user, a "tricker"

People have to start taking blame for their own actions and stop blaming everyone else for their mistakes and regrets
 pouyqwert_mn2
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 95
Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 10:48:01 AM
OP: I'm curious how you would write this "law"?
Would it be one of those really ambiguous laws that is 99% grey area? Or would it be VERY black/white.
For example. It's OK to have sex if you Never say "LOVE,MARRAIGE" but if you EVER said one of these words (and there is a permanent record of said conversation as opposed to "he said she said") otherwise, you MUST stay in the relationship FOR EVER!!!!.

What happened to personal responsibility? As a previous person said, If sex is SO precious, don't give it away until AFTER you are married. Then the "victim" could recoup their "loss" in divorce court.

So back to my first question OP, Please state the exact wording of this law so we can determine if it is enforcable.

Otherwise, remember the old addage. "Buy (victim ) beware"
 pouyqwert_mn2
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 97
Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 10:50:00 AM
Correction
Otherwise, remember the old addage. "BuyER (victim ) beware"
 FescheLola
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 98
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Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 10:53:13 AM

a good friend of mine who fell victim of a sexual predator



KNOCK KNOCK ANYBODY HOME?

A "Sexual Predator" is a child molestor, a rapist not A BF of several months. You insult TRUE VICTIMS of rape and molestation by your bullshit!

I don't even belive the "he led her on" bit now. As has been said men don't wait around that long for Sex.

What don't you get? Would it be the same if "she led him on" wanted sex, had it and left? Oh wait. I bet in your world women can't do that, since we obviously don't enjoy or want sex.

You are touting Monogamy...Practice it.
 Swann85
Joined: 12/3/2007
Msg: 99
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Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 10:53:43 AM
alright I have lots of things I want to say but ill keep it short and sweet.

friend happens to be a very decent lady voxelectronic! and you shouldnt judge people by such little information like you personally know them!


then who are you to decided he is a sexual predator??? I mean were you there watching them? who knows maybe she is into bdsm and she wanted a slave in bed and he didn't want that??? seems like a very good reason to call it off!!! ok and as far as him destroying her soul? if you are not exaggerating(and i hope you are) then she needs to look at her self in a mirror she has kids!!!! she cant afford to be so weak they are learning what a relationship IS from her.

Now for the big one YOU want to make it a LAW that lying is illegal, first there go's our political system(not that it isnt a good idea) and you have invited the state into out minds!!! now I am in CA and I love it but I dnt want arnold telling me how to act or what to say.

so over all I wont go as far as to attack you because you are just venting about your friend, but really how many guys have you told in bars that you had a boyfriend when you didn't so you don't have to talk to them because thats lying to so you would be breaking your own law!
 maxxoccupancy
Joined: 2/5/2007
Msg: 100
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Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 11:09:50 AM
Laws are placed on the books to protect us from force and fraud, or to at least punish those who use force or fraud to get money from people. In the area of sex, laws against rape serve to punish those who have used force--but not fraud--to get sex from someone.

I see a lot of scumbags pulling a lot of tricks to get into women's pants, and it makes me sick that women let them get away with this. It sounds old fashioned, but I don't think women should give it up until they've got an engagement ring--or at some momento of monogamy and commitment.

In the same way that women feel used for sex, men often feel used for money/spending if the girl leaves him once she's got what she wants. It's just become too common for people to use eachother, and this is creating a very bitter society.
 ~rain~
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 101
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Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 11:18:29 AM
maxx

I totally agree with what you posted...and I would like to add to the part of your Statement
I see a lot of scumbags pulling a lot of tricks to get into women's pants

That men or women are not going to devote months of their time, and money just to trick someone into bed.
 FescheLola
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 102
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Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 11:19:30 AM

Laws are placed on the books to protect us from force and fraud, or to at least punish those who use force or fraud to get money from people.


OK, thats something men complain about...This one is claiming Sex was gotten "fraudently" Men scream that about money....Heres the deal, the ONLY time the law will "help" you is if you can _prove_ it was a _loan_....

Lets say I date a guy, i'm in love and/or have strong feelings....He tells me he needs money...He may even say "Hey I'll pay you back"....a few months later we break up. I cant do _anything_ unless I can PROVE it was a loan. Also a court will look at how long ago and what the money was for.

People most of the time dont press for repayment, until the relationship ends...

Another area to use common sense.
 777shy
Joined: 12/18/2007
Msg: 106
Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 11:45:57 AM
Legislation would indeed be difficult concerning this matter; however, not impossible. It would begin with dating sites setting forth a thorough and exact statement of what the site is for, then users electronically signing, if not formally signing, an agreement expressing understanding of the stipulations, therein. Perhaps, if this were the case already in effect, those who utilize sites for free sex and financial confidence games would not be as interested in those sites who advertise as potential meeting places for long term and meaningful relationships. They would be bound to a realization of what the other party was expecting. If they took advantage of that expectation for fraudulent gain, then he/she could be liable for damages.

On a personal note of opinion...I believe women are not the only individuals at risk on these sites...and, I have some serious concerns about anyone, he or she, who seemingly sides with those who take advantage of another's goodwill. It is disturbing if someone believes, "I got hurt, so someone else should, also." As for a woman, or a man, who may be looking for a potential loving mate and a caring, responsible step parent for their child/children. As long as this is stipulated up front, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. These are real life issues, and they should and need to be addressed. There is no shame in having wants/needs/desires, as long as they are broached/discussed in a timely, upfront manner and in a suitable environment, meaning a site that advertises accordingly with members who are in agreement to their purposes of membership.
 777shy
Joined: 12/18/2007
Msg: 109
Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 11:59:30 AM
It is also extremely sad to see the way people are turning against one another via this forum topic...perhaps, this says something clearly about the problem we have. Are we really so desperate that we'll turn against those we don't even know...with total lack of compassion and disregard for the decent meaning of relationships.
If a man wants sex without love and responsibility, he should travel to Nevada, provided he isn't already a resident there and hire a prostitute, legally. If a woman wants sex without love and responsibility, she should be the prostitute he hires. If either wants money for sex, or sex for money...then both should become prostitutes for hire. And that, my dears, is essentially the authentic cold, hard fact of the matter, and nothing else.
Now, how about being nicer to one another? Hmmm? As for me, I'm signing off on this topic, and wishing each of you a safe and pleasant weekend. Take care.
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 123
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Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 1:03:33 PM
Welshfushsia... I would LOVE to take on the title when a man SEEMS to get what he wants, and call it "sexual preditor", however that is NOT the correct term.

What you are discussing is a moral issue, and legislation here in the US, are hard pressed to pass MORAL laws...

Laws are passed to protect individuals that cannot protect themself, and or would not have the ability to make a choice on there own to mentally know what to do. IE Children under a certain age, and the mental challenged.

Your friend had a choice to keep her virtue until she was married to the man. Anything short of that, means the choice was your friends to make, and she became a willing partner whether the guy advertised his intent or not...

We may not like what happens to us when we make choices the end up getting us hurt, but we DO have to make choices that are best for who we are as a person.. If this gal is going to feel so emotionally used, and that men such as the guy she was with, are preditors, then perhaps she is better off waiting until she is married. That way she is gaurented that he is NOT legally off the hook in the morning...
 Soul Union
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 126
Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 1:27:06 PM
Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters?~ welshfuchsia

> I knew before I opened this thread fully that it would be a woman referring to a man - something that some man has done or not done or might do.
> I am becoming tired of the male-bashing and the multifarious and imaginative forms it takes.
> Why are men so mean? Why are mean such pigs? Are there no decent men left? And so it goes on - to infinity.
> If we are so bad, if the male of society is portrayed as an object of terror, why are there far more women on this site than men?
> I quote a few words from this current posting by welshfuchsia. "Game players," "Unsavoury behaviour," "Practice of deceiving," "Distortion of truth," "Duplicity," "Second-class rape," etc.
> Sounds like some insane fiend has broken loose from an institution with the chains still clanking around his ankles.
> Give us a break, lady. In 1986, back in Scotland, I found my wife in bed with one of my colleagues one sunny afternoon. She left a few weeks later with our children. I haven't seen my children in 22 years, but I don't label people as criminals or make a song and dance about my personal experiences.
> Move on, and be glad you had the hard experiences for the sake of your soul's growth. Do you really want an 'easy' life? Do you want cushions and quilts, comfort and joy 24/7? That will not instigate or enable growth of any kind. Only failure, only the hard lessons, provide the kind of growth we require as souls as we advance through this earthly realm.
> "No one learns through Success: Failure is our only teacher." [ Soren Kierkegaard, 19th-century Danish philosopher ]
> Best wishes - Peter.
 Soul Union
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 131
Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 1:38:04 PM

Don't spout any paranoia and distrust here. That's ridiculous. If you have poor instincts when it comes to dating, that's your fault. ~ sleepytime girl

> Here lies wisdom.
> Peter.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 133
Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 1:46:01 PM
Has anyone in this forum EVER been the object of revenge? Yah, a few? Many? How many times has the "revenge" really been justified? To wit--how many times has the "punishment" been worse than the "crime"?

To even suggest that people should be prosecuted for lying in a relationship is ludicrous for many reasons, but one of the main reasons is who is telling the "truth"? As many people have pointed out in many of these forums, there are three sides to a story: his, hers, and what really happened. She said, he said . . . it goes on ad infinitum.

Welsh, perhaps your friend is a fine upstanding woman who allowed her tender sensibilities to be trampled, but what about those whose sensibilities are not so tender? What about the neurotic and even the psychotic? What about those who hear what they want to hear and take revenge when they finally understand that the other person was never committing?

Pffft.

I once was called to jury duty for a rape trial. I was the second person dismissed because I said something along the lines that the man should be castrated if he raped her (ok, I was not that vitriolic or honest). An acquaintance of mine was called in, as well, and went back the next day. Guess what? The woman who was "raped" came into the court and said she made it all up!

ARGH! Incidents like this set the women's movement back 50 years or more.

Now, imagine a score of women and men who had been dumped by their lovers and want revenge in a court of law.

Messy.
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 137
Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 2:13:37 PM
Trick me into it? ' Heyyy, dude, what's your penis doing hanging out? Is this a trick???' Actually, I HAVE seen****tricks, they are HILARIOUS!! Flying squirrel, wristwatch, porkchop...
 Soul Union
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 139
Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 2:32:37 PM
I wholeheartedly agree. More men I know have been deceived by women . . . But the fact is still that women are not innocent creatures to be consoled and conceded to on every occasion.~ sleepytime girl

> Is that right? Wow. Is that a universal statement of fact, a philosophy by which we should all live, or is it . . . just your opinion?
> I think your profile says it all. "I'm just a scared little girl." "I'd rather rule a bunch of stupid, happy people."
> Well, you don't rule me. But keep up with the postings, for it seems you want to rule this particular thread.
> Best wishes - Peter.
 Soul Union
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 146
Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 3:34:27 PM
To: sleepytime girl
> Forgive me if my response comes over as critical and hurtful. This is not the way I usually address people.
> Alas, my ego got in the way of my better judgement today, and I ask you to overlook this. Mea culpa, as they say.
> I wish you well.
> Peter.
 Ignoble
Joined: 10/11/2007
Msg: 147
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Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 3:36:35 PM
lmao K... well... Im not condoning this behaviour but come on... really. You cant TRICK someone into bed. They make the concious decision to give it up. Im sure they're all happy until they found out he lied. So... tell me... when they find out what has changed exactly? I mean sex is a physical act (with sometimes emotional aspects) but its still physical. If it feels good when you do it, then it was good. If you are pissed cause they lied to you, fine. But dont associate that with the sex. You enjoyed. You're just upset for being gullible or feeling betrayed. Seriously, dont link the two issues. Good sex doesnt change. Its indellible in history. A physical act. It cant change later. I cant eat a realllly good dinner and then the next day decide I hated the taste of it. Sounds ridiculous huh?
 Ave Caesar
Joined: 11/11/2007
Msg: 154
Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 4:01:13 PM
No. I hate that it requires more text than 'no'.
 Soul Union
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 160
Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 4:21:51 PM
No. I hate that it requires more text than 'no'.~ Ave Caesar

> Does that include you?
> Peter.
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