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Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers? [CLOSED]      Home login  
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 LoonyTunz
Joined: 8/11/2006
Msg: 532
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Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?Page 137 of 140    (100, 101, 102, 103, 104, 105, 106, 107, 108, 109, 110, 111, 112, 113, 114, 115, 116, 117, 118, 119, 120, 121, 122, 123, 124, 125, 126, 127, 128, 129, 130, 131, 132, 133, 134, 135, 136, 137, 138, 139, 140)

First thing first is you have a beautiful little girl who these guys don't deserve to ever meet for that matter...and secondly if they're running why not give them a little help by giving them a little harder push to send them flying lol....these men are not worth the dirt they stand on hon....you are not destined to be alone forever....don't ever let them loosers make you feel that way...just tell yourself that mr right for you is out there and the way i see it let them find you....I'm a single mom with two kids and i put that out there right away so that way if they want to run then it saves me the energy of having to kick them in the ass and send them on their way.

Is that the stench of bitterness. Where can I sign up for a date with that if I ever find myself available again?

Your an ***hole for even saying that....and what really makes me laugh about u guys that can say these things about women are ... first of all you could not be a role model because of your lack of respect to talk to a woman u don't even know for one..and secondly i bet you haven't had the chance to even know what being a number one man in bed is because i'm sure your one of many that get it wet and your done!

Funny I have no respect for whiney-a$$ed individuals of ANY group. If you don't like your situation, change it.

So, don't ever tell another woman how to raise her children with or without a role model...your a****for even going there.

You may not like how it was worded but it is a valid point......That in all likelihood has nothing to do with the majority of repeat female posters here.
Can a single man or woman raise a normal healthy child? Yes, but face facts it is easier and more likely when the child has two stable caring parents. If some guys do not feel ready or willing to step in and take on that role it does not make them a demon or even less of a man, just simply honest.
Ladies does this womans venom not have you personally questioning her parental ability too? That kind of bile can't be healthy for a child to be exposed to.

Ms.B your personal account had a different impact on my take of your posts. I had only skimmed most of your posts for relevant points expecting most to be feminist ideology. I may have just picked up on a little left-over anti-male sentiment (these things are not fixed over night) and mistakenly attributed it to radical/gender feminism. So my sincere apologies and I will endeavor to pay more attention to your points in the future.
 sweetpea5-8
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 533
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Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/28/2008 10:18:16 PM
Hi Im a single divorced mother of two children my daughters father died so i raised her for 6 yrs by myself before i met my sons father ...but well that didnt work. Maybe YOU should try this casualy keep looking but, dont put so much effort into it ; your kid and u come first....besides ever hear that a watched pot never boils; stop looking so hard when its right love will find you not the other way around. Start looking at dateing as just away to get out of the house and have some fun. If guys run at the mention of your kid then their not worth your effort...make it a point to bring your daughter up in the conversation when u meet someone that way all cards are on the table. by the way im still single too...so im takeing the time just to work on me...and just being the best mother i can putting more focuse on my education and job.
 desertrhino
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 534
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Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/28/2008 10:19:34 PM

Now as to everyone trashing him why?


Ummm... because it's morally and ethically repugnant to go through life using people for your amusement? That he's more or less open about it, at least online, is a slight mitigating factor, but it doesn't change the basic nature of the lifestyle.
 desertrhino
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 535
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Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/28/2008 10:24:37 PM

Sucks for your friend. Hanging yourself over a lack of women is kind of crazy though. I don't even fight or cry over women. I've experienced friends dying near me in combat(veteran Marine) and things I think are far more deserving of depression. WOmen are an also-ran.

If you are implying I'll end up commiting suicide over that, you're nuts. GO listen to Snoop Dogg's first album and get some mack in you.


Well, that does show where you place women in general. Not a shock, obviously. As for implying... nope. I'm just telling an anecdote about how I saw that course play out for someone I knew well. Worst part of that was that I talked to the guy late in the day, shortly before he did it... caught the sad tone, but made plans to do something a few days later. *sigh*

As for listening to Snoop Dogg, I'd rather screw a .45 in my ear and squeeze. Nothing personal.
 desertrhino
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 536
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Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/29/2008 12:34:49 AM
DesertRhino, I find it ironic that you defend single mothers against people's judgements, but you're willing to pass judgement readily on others' lifestyles. Whether a person is a player, a swinger, a religious fundamentalist, a prude, a single parent, or whatever, unless they are actively hurting somebody, what right do any of us have to judge them? We all have skeletons in our closets. People who live in glass houses should get dressed in the basement and all that.


The question was asked and I answered. *shrug* That you find it ironic is not surprising, but it really only means you don't know me or my motivations in this world very well. Again, not surprising; it's an online forum, for crying out loud.

However, allow me to elaborate:

I have yet to see a lifestyle of that sort that did not "actively hurt somebody." I'm watching two couples among my circle of friends self-destruct for that very reason right now. It's vaguely horrible to watch, and all I can do is offer support and suggestions that may (but probably won't) lead them back to a mutually respectful place from where they can try and repair the damage. Granted, these are within marriages, but one was completely consensual, and the other involved cheating during "a bad spot" in the marriage. The outcome is the same, and aside from all involved being hurt, there are kids involved in both cases. Another story for another day, back on topic:

Perhaps my moral relativity compass needs re-aligning, but using others as if they are disposable and interchangeable will always strike me as morally and ethically repugnant, if not outright evil. Amoral? Is that a better word? Hurting kids when it could be avoided by maintaining respect and consideration for others, specifically spouses, falls under the same umbrella, except perhaps more on the "weak-willed" or "ethically-challenged" end of the spectrum than the amoral end.

And as I mentioned before, I lost one friend who for many years was in a VERY similar place... Is it wrong that I find suicide morally and ethically repugnant, too? Strangely, for the exact same reason: It hurts a lot of people. If there *is* an afterlife, there are a couple of people I fully intend to look up and slap stupid.
 wisguyingb
Joined: 1/5/2008
Msg: 537
Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/29/2008 1:27:01 AM
A female posted this.."we hopefully have our priorities straight and know what we want"

First off. Women never know what they want. They only know what they want at the moment. And women tend to live in the moment more so then men. This is because men are not very emotional.

And now about the qoute that I posted above.

Does this include getting knocked up, not getting child support, and the father not playing a role in the kids life? (not always the case as I know)

I hear women say "they know what they want" all the time. But yet I see them hanging on clowns. You know the guys with the sideways ball caps and pants hanging down to the a$$ crack. Or the guys that like to show how tough they are and "almost" get into fights. Hold me back, hold me back!! I think you know what I'm getting at. With women these days it's all about image.

Seems like all the ladies that say they "know what they want" sure do whine about the type of men they keep meeting.

But they do indeed "know what they want" and that's why they keep going with the same type of men. You neve hear a woman say... "Oh my boyfriend has such a great job, and he's such a good partner."" I just love him to death."

What I do hear is..."Oh I wish he'd get a job and get his life in order." " I wish he'd stay out of the bars and just settle down for a once." "But I just love him so much, I could never leave him."

Deep down inside every woman is the drive and motivation to get what she cant have. Women do indeed like a challenge. Where as men mainly prefer the easy route.

Many times a single mom actually knows what she wants. She wants a good guy. She's sick of all the losers she has clung to in the past and is ready to settle down. But to her dismay she finds it hard to find good guys. And that cuz many of the good guys have been in the shadows unknown to her. But they know her type, and know what she has gone with in the past. To these good guys, this girl is just high risk. Even though she may finally be all grown up and ready to move on.
 LoonyTunz
Joined: 8/11/2006
Msg: 538
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Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/29/2008 1:36:15 AM

Perhaps my moral relativity compass needs re-aligning, but using others as if they are disposable and interchangeable will always strike me as morally and ethically repugnant, if not outright evil. Amoral? Is that a better word? Hurting kids when it could be avoided by maintaining respect and consideration for others, specifically spouses, falls under the same umbrella, except perhaps more on the "weak-willed" or "ethically-challenged" end of the spectrum than the amoral end.

Oddly enough your irony meter didn't explode. Johne does the same thing with his negative personal experiences. And you ride him as often as you can, yet you want a free pass just because your personal experiences with some things have been negative? That doesn't fly.
You also ignore the fact that the type of single parents ilietowomen is involved with WANT to be in that situation. Otherwise they would be repelled by his attitude rather than drawn to it. One thing you can count on though is those very same women with poor judgment will be back in these forums posing the same question again and again. Playing the victim over their own stupidity and generally ticking off the responsible single parents.
My assertion is unfortunately there are more of the fools a fewer of the sensible type around. So it is hard to fault anyone for cutting out a segment of his or her dating pool that is more able to leave a lasting negative impact. I wouldn't suggest that is fair to the decent single parents at all but neither is allowing men to be financially raped in the best interest of kids that aren't even his, nor is it fair that some kids have parents that parade a whole string of "aunts", "uncles" or whatever they call them and teach them to be reluctant to form deep bonds with others.
 desertrhino
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 539
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Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/29/2008 2:23:49 AM

Oddly enough your irony meter didn't explode. Johne does the same thing with his negative personal experiences. And you ride him as often as you can, yet you want a free pass just because your personal experiences with some things have been negative? That doesn't fly.


I'm sorry you took them as absolutes. They were truly meant to be anecdotal evidence/examples simply backing up the overall message, not forming its foundation. Take them away, and the message is essentially unchanged, though I might have to explain a little more here and there. I'm sure you could fill in the gaps without much effort.


You also ignore the fact that the type of single parents ilietowomen is involved with WANT to be in that situation. Otherwise they would be repelled by his attitude rather than drawn to it.


Ummm, no. I acknowledge that he is open about his preferences on the site... that is ignoring this how, exactly? (one presumes that posting such things makes them publicly available to any prospective sex partners.)

That said, let's move on: Just because people WANT to be used, that doesn't make the using any less reprehensible.

"There's a fool born every minute." Isn't that how it goes? Con men LIVE in the fringe where people WANT to be used on a certain level. Just because it's about sex doesn't NECESSARILY make it less of a con. Doesn't mean people don't get hurt, either, including those you so dismissively bash in the next few lines of your post. "Playing the victim" "own stupidity" etc...

I am aware that what I am doing is asking people to hold to a higher ethical standard than they are comfortable with, and higher than what is in common "play" in the population at large. So? You aspire to nothing better than the lowest common denominator? That which any man or woman can achieve simply by waking up and doing whatever pops to mind on any given day? Damn shame, that.

I? aspire to a higher level. I hope my children will, too. I truly hope ALL people could try to achieve better than the absolute minimum "gee, I woke up" level of accomplishment. I don't always succeed, nobody does. Does that make it not worth trying?

Look, try not to "dumb it down" too much, eh? It's really not that complicated... people have, for the most part, learned SOME variant of right and wrong from their parents, peers, or television... make the mental effort to do the RIGHT thing, or at least RECOGNIZE it. That's all I'm asking.
 desertrhino
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 541
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Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/29/2008 10:45:27 AM
Bob, I appreciate your stance, but we all judge people all day, every day. We judge their actions, and we judge their words. A lot of times we judge them solely on their appearance, and even that's not completely unreasonable, as mode of dress and personal hygiene carry some important information at times. To claim otherwise is either incredibly naive or completely disingenuous.

Now, on to the meat: I didn't say he was lying, did I? I checked the profile, too, and I mentioned it slightly mitigated the impact of his lifestyle choice on others... and then I went on and explained why it was still rather amoral, using that con man analogy, etc...

I also didn't say that openly-announced "players" like ilietowomen have any corner on the market of amorality, unethical behavior, evil intent and actions, or hurting others. I was just dealing with the topic at hand. If you'd like me to go on a tear against the kind of sh!t-sucking turdbag you mention, I'd be glad to do so.

As for their right to be here, I am absoLUTELY certain I said nothing about anyone's right to be a member of POF. This is CLEARLY NOT my house, and I have no say whatsoever in who comes and goes. I don't think I ever even came close to implying I did. *shrug* I just don't think I have an obligation to pat amoral nobks on the head and say, "Isn't that nice, dear?" So, I don't.
 desertrhino
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 544
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Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/29/2008 11:45:33 AM
Bob, you missed a key point: I have no illusions about the "Mayberry" morals... they were a fa├žade covering up a lot of misogyny and racism. (Edit to add: and while I was thinking and typing, mermaid said the same thing, apparently) Perhaps I went too far down the "right and wrong" path in my discussion and clouded the "hurting others" as a key concern.

Let me try to sum up succinctly: My problem is when people are viewed as objects, objectified, used, discarded, hurt, etc... or trashed because of some "class" identification with characteristics or features that may very well not apply to them. THAT is not morally correct or particularly ethical. Using people as interchangeable (as sex toys, for example) and not treating them as persons, THAT is amoral and possibly plain evil.

And I'm not sure Smuggler and I are going to overlap on this particular issue, either. *shrug*

 LoonyTunz
Joined: 8/11/2006
Msg: 547
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Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/29/2008 9:04:06 PM

Looney can even come share some love sometimes. We know he goes both ways on this issue. lol

okay I think I might need that clarified a little. And the lovin' will have to remain platonic.
 LoonyTunz
Joined: 8/11/2006
Msg: 548
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Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/29/2008 9:32:09 PM
Not a problem. That is what the edit button is for.
 desertrhino
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 549
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Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 7/1/2008 5:48:33 AM

thats bull shit women do the same as men ive got two kids n another one due in aug and when i've spoke to some women and said i've got kids the chat ends there. why is the blame all ways on us when women do the same????????


Seriously? 21, a self-professed bad boy who wants to take girls to the hotel "for dessert," 2 kids and 1 on the way? It could be the kids are just the icing on the cake... I'd seriously want to hear the story before I dated a woman in the same situation.

Besides, there's a thread devoted to that, though it may have sunk to the second page, I didn't look, to be honest.
 LoonyTunz
Joined: 8/11/2006
Msg: 551
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Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 7/1/2008 12:02:35 PM
With 5 kids you won't be able to give as much focus on a relationship or another adult as someone without. If you can either you don't ever sleep or the kids are missing out on something.
Get over the "their just selfish" BS. Some people require more one on one time than others, and even many of those people seem to be able to adjust when SHARING the responsibilities of raising THEIR kids. For others it isn't even an issue.
 Canoe Gal
Joined: 5/5/2006
Msg: 552
Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 7/2/2008 9:26:43 AM
I think it was more of what he "didn't hear"...lol. By the way, we (from the great White North) enjoyed a wonderful Canada Day. I hope you enjoy your Independence Day just as much.
 Canoe Gal
Joined: 5/5/2006
Msg: 553
Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 7/4/2008 8:15:51 PM

your right it is there loss.
Hummm...how can it be a loss if it was never theirs? I'm thinking it should have been manditory for people to read all 140 pgs before making a comment. Yes she's entitled to her opinion, doesn't mean I have to agree with it. Yes I have posted my feelings on what they are missing when not experiencing something but that's different from loosing it...lol Happy 4th to my neighbours to the south. Thank you for sharing a few of your marching bands for our Stampede Parade this morning. They were great.
 LoonyTunz
Joined: 8/11/2006
Msg: 554
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Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 7/4/2008 10:51:29 PM

your right it is there loss.

Proof positive De Nile is more than just a big river in Africa.

but i have decided that i have a man in my life... my son and he is way more important to me then any any guy will ever be!

Oh oh oh where can I sign up to be treated like that?
Come on! We know your kids are important to you, just as mine are important to me. But it is foolishness bordering on stupidity to insist that any future significant other will always take a backseat in everything.

but there are guys out there who will love you i kn0ow this cuz my "dad" started dating my mom when i was 3 months old so....

This begs the question, was that guy one of the "mangina" owners and content with being a second class human eternally? Or did this poster fail to learn from the example that was right before her eyes as she grew up?

Seriously I am literally shaking my head here. Maaaaaaaaaaaan, what ever happened to treating people in the manner in which you yourself would like to be treated?

Anyway Happy 4th to the Yanks and good luck
 desertrhino
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 555
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Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 7/5/2008 7:11:38 AM
Well, in the interest of peace, I'll just let the rest of it slide. Have a nice day, loony.
 LoonyTunz
Joined: 8/11/2006
Msg: 556
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Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 7/5/2008 9:20:52 AM

3500 posts, 108,000 views and we all get along so well. Who cares about that word rhino, I wouldn't own it. Looney's point I think was her "dad" didn't come in second or third he was the man she knew growing up. Now she does not see the importance of the man that would be in her life. Though that could be from pain in her last relationship as well. Bob

Very very close Bob. Although the "mangina" part was included because there are a few people that are actually like this. I asked because I do not know her situation or her past. She may well have had a spineless twit as a role model of what place a man has in life OR as you stated could have missed the lesson there and be projecting from other experiences.

Rhino if I blanket dismiss your post it is because of one of two things. It is either so over-simplified and PC as to be not worthy of critical though, or instead of addressing the issue you've started running off at the mouth and directly insulting people.
Word of advice, the mod's are thick lately and very quick to edit/remove posts such as yours and ban the posters lately. So you may wish to change your style and hope they never click on pages 40-140.
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