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Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers? [CLOSED]      Home login  
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 TJ75
Joined: 10/22/2006
Msg: 3036
Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?Page 138 of 140    (100, 101, 102, 103, 104, 105, 106, 107, 108, 109, 110, 111, 112, 113, 114, 115, 116, 117, 118, 119, 120, 121, 122, 123, 124, 125, 126, 127, 128, 129, 130, 131, 132, 133, 134, 135, 136, 137, 138, 139, 140)
......post deleted.
 little_mermaid
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 3037
Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 7/1/2008 9:33:38 AM
I have dated off and on. Sometimes I have to take breaks. Retreats. One of my friends who happens to be male, I met here. He thinks I should at least be having a physical relationship he has volunteered. I am just looking for something more special. I mean I could go to a bar for that kind of thing and p/u some younger man. Without any regrets..its just not my deal.
That would not bring me what I seek. Probably would regret that kind of thing...for myself I analyze things too much. How it would affect me later.. will I come away feeling good or bad about myself sometimes its exhausting.

John I heard what your saying and agree mostly. I dated someone four years ago?? HE left after 6 mos and said if it was just me it would have been different. Crazy, it was never just me. He knew that from the get go. I did learn somethings though from that relationship. Luckily my babies were babies and we did not get attached. (it did hurt my feelings for a time but he was kind of selfish and in time I got to know that) .I learned that it was possible we could attached and hurt and I took note for the future.

I did have one funny date where he got down on his hands and knees and started doing push ups in front of me and my family..to show us his strength and then he yelled at me for not being into him...it was funny. I will never forget and I intend to use it as material.

I have a couple of more but I have been more to myself the last couple of years. Nothing wrong with me(not the greatest cook) I just know what I want and don't want to hurt anyone or pay for a sitter when I know its just not there. Takes a lot of work sometimes and sometimes its just too much for a dinner and great albeit conversation. I do have friends though..some of them would like to benefit me or vice versa..I think I am just too sensitive romantic thinker type of person for that...sometimes I wish I could. Just go for it..but that is just not me. I do get lonely sometimes but I will bide my time.
 LoonyTunz
Joined: 8/11/2006
Msg: 3038
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Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 7/1/2008 12:02:35 PM
With 5 kids you won't be able to give as much focus on a relationship or another adult as someone without. If you can either you don't ever sleep or the kids are missing out on something.
Get over the "their just selfish" BS. Some people require more one on one time than others, and even many of those people seem to be able to adjust when SHARING the responsibilities of raising THEIR kids. For others it isn't even an issue.
 bob2013
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 3039
Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 7/1/2008 12:36:50 PM
Sorry 1, I have to go with Looney on this one. 5 is ALOT of kids, without knowing the ages, it has to be a great deal of work for you. I think your on the wrong track about selfish also, some would prefer more attention. Doesn't make them anything but who they are and what they want out of life, no different than you. I can imagine by the end of the day, you must be pretty exhausted with a business, home and 5 kids. Someone looking at that says "where will I fit in?", then they well might walk away without thinking about it. You've got a tough road to walk, God Bless. Bob
 ~Beave~
Joined: 5/7/2008
Msg: 3040
Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 7/1/2008 12:56:22 PM

thats bull shit women do the same as men ive got two kids n another one due in aug and when i've spoke to some women and said i've got kids the chat ends there. why is the blame all ways on us when women do the same????????


Maybe women want nothing to do with you because you're out trolling for women, when you have someone due with your baby in a couple of months. Actually I'm almost e-disgusted by your whiny poor me post.


well i am widowed with 5 kids but have never found that an issue with men there are some that are in not comfterable with it this type of man u can do with out they are selfish and demand attention thats y they run they think u wont give them enough attention when u have kids!!


I wouldn't date someone with 5 kids because it's not conducive with my goals in life. And if the children are young it's realistic to expect a women wouldn't have time for anyone else. Hell I have 3 kids and when they were young I barely had enough time for myself.

Naturally because I've made these statements the next man who makes me rawrrr with want will have 5 or more kids lol.
 neverhere
Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 3041
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Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 7/1/2008 1:37:59 PM
I haven't read this entire post. It's just too long. But, I have read several pages of it, and have noticed no one mentions how a woman is raising her kids.
Often, I've noticed that many of the single mothers I have met are not the best mothers, in my eyes. It makes me wonder about the relationship itself. And how she will handle that.
It's not like most single mothers want a guy walking into their life, and start telling them how to raise their child.

When it comes to that, I'll move right along. I believe one of the keys to raising children is to teach by example. If a woman cannot be a good example to her kids, it's like asking for problems. With both her and the kids, if you stay with her long enough.

I feel bad being that judgmental. But, a thing I look for in every woman I meet is whether she would make a good mother. I have no kids, but do want them. In the right relationship, of course. Whether they are my blood or not.

I'm not saying I'm going to be the best parent, at all. But, I have been around babies and young children my whole life. I have seen kids raised good and bad. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, as the saying goes.

I'm not saying that I'm judging good mothers and bad mothers. But, there are important traits that I am looking for. A little bit of patience being a big one.
 HDynasty81
Joined: 3/10/2008
Msg: 3042
Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 7/1/2008 2:07:51 PM

well i am widowed with 5 kids but have never found that an issue with men there are some that are in not comfterable with it this type of man u can do with out they are selfish and demand attention thats y they run they think u wont give them enough attention when u have kids!!1


Or just maybe that's their preference and not want to play substitute daddy?

You make it sound like these guys are selfish because they don't want to date a single mother. And judging by the way you wrote that, I don't think the kids would be the deal breaker.
 bob2013
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 3043
Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 7/1/2008 4:04:41 PM
By the way is everybody enjoying the sound of silence from Canada? Bob
 MizQ
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 3044
Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 7/1/2008 5:08:00 PM
I don't think men not wanting to date a woman with one child is selfish let alone 5!! It is their choice. Does not make them selfish.

I would be hesitant to seriously date someone with five children myself!! If I had five children, I think I would just focus on them and making sure I caved out time for each of them, but to each his or her own...

Silence is golden, Bob. Golden! :)
 PMC00
Joined: 9/6/2007
Msg: 3045
Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 7/1/2008 5:46:27 PM
Wow, this was started a long time ago. Anyway I love single mothers, because I am a single father, and I face the same rejection that single mothers get. A lot more dads are getting custody of their children, and I was really surprised my fight didn't last longer. I can always compare parenting notes, concerns, and single mothers understand when I say, "I have to take care of my children".
 sara36274
Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 3046
Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 7/2/2008 8:44:57 AM
I'm a single mother of a wonderful 2 year old little boy. I have just recently decided to re-enter the dating world again. lol. I have run into some men who want to be there in my son's life and have run into some that would rather not have anything to do with my son. Either way I'm not going to say well thats your loss. It's no ones loss or gain. The ultimate choice is up to me. I know that sounds bad but I'm not trying for it to. My son has a father and he may not be the best one in the world but he has one. I'm not looking to replace that/him. I'm looking for someone thats compliments me and him. It may take a while but the best part of being a single parent is you really learn patience.

Sara
 Westpark2
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 3047
Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 7/2/2008 9:07:03 AM

By the way is everybody enjoying the sound of silence from Canada? Bob


So Bob...what would you like to hear from the great White North?
 Canoe Gal
Joined: 5/5/2006
Msg: 3048
Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 7/2/2008 9:26:43 AM
I think it was more of what he "didn't hear"...lol. By the way, we (from the great White North) enjoyed a wonderful Canada Day. I hope you enjoy your Independence Day just as much.
 bob2013
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 3049
Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 7/2/2008 9:32:32 AM
Amen CG, you hit the nail on the head! I am happy to hear you all enjoyed your day, we will do the same on Friday. Bob
 Intell_Gurl
Joined: 6/17/2008
Msg: 3050
Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 7/4/2008 3:26:58 AM
Well coming from a single mom of two, I dont think its that men dont like single moms, I think its that we sometimes do a disservice to ourselves. We cause our own heartache. We pick people that tell us that they are not ready by their actions but we so want to "change" them that we don't realize that great guy is just around the corner...A guy will not choose to not be with a woman because she is a single mother unless he really and truly does not want to enter into that type of relationship...just like I would not choose to be in a relationship with someone who has AIDS or someone in a wheelchair...am I a bad person because of it...I think not and neither is the guys that feesl that it is not for them...so forget about those men, you can't change anyone, I have met some great guys who don't mind but it wasn't to be for whatever outside reason that had nothing to do with my girls...I think that because I have a nice house, girls that get straight A's, I have a good career, fathers are deceased so no drama, and I LOVE my children and I am a positive person in general, that is so much more sexier to single men than the ones that complain about their ex and ask for money and just generally **** about things that they could change if they take the action that is needed. They give single moms like me a bad name. So take care of your kids, get a really good babysitter that you trust, deal with your past and not let it affect your present, know that this new person you meet is not your ex and dont hold him accountable for the exes behavior, be fun and light, and dont expect everything all at once...it will happen...I am still waiting but have no problem with that...
 bob2013
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 3051
Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 7/4/2008 8:16:03 AM
Dateline, news flash: The RCMP today announced the finding of a blue truck in a remote area of northern Ontario. A spokesperson said it appeared to be a kidnapping and local authorities were cooperating. They are currently seeking members of a guerrila band of single moms who have expressed a desire to stop repitition. Local residents say that sometimes they hear high pitched blood curdling screams of "loco parentis" coming from the hills as the guerillas have their way this with this unfortunate victim. We will keep you posted.

Oh well, imagination run wild, hope everyone has a GREAT 4th!! To our brothers and sisters in the north we hope you enjoy your weekend as well. Bob
 luvangelkiss
Joined: 6/5/2008
Msg: 3052
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Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 7/4/2008 9:33:20 AM
your right it is there loss. i have been havin the same thing cuz i have a 3 year old son. its hard cuz they just think your looking for a babys dad! and i know thats not what i want i just want someone to love me and my son. but i have decided that i have a man in my life... my son and he is way more important to me then any any guy will ever be! but there are guys out there who will love you i kn0ow this cuz my "dad" started dating my mom when i was 3 months old so.... just dont give up hope i believe ther is the right one out there! so dont stop lookin for that
 bob2013
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 3053
Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 7/4/2008 1:16:40 PM
Smuggler, think of it this way. Did you ever see Abbott and Costello do the baseball skit? Five minutes of "who gets the money? Yes every penny of it." or "who's on first? Yes. But what's his name? Who. The first baseman? Who. The guy on first? Who."

That's similar, thinking and repeating, it is a given, when someone rejects us, it is not a flaw in us, it clearly must be their fault. Not that they might have preferences or something. The human pysche is much more capable of accepting that their is something wrong in the choice, than an issue of who was not choosen. We all have to accept some will run to this logic as opposed to the facts. Many of these women who are here regularly, got it, you don't want to, then don't date us. So the occasional drop in adhering to the flawed thinking is who they are, nothing more. Bob
 Smuggler1
Joined: 2/2/2008
Msg: 3054
Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 7/4/2008 4:38:05 PM

That's similar, thinking and repeating, it is a given, when someone rejects us, it is not a flaw in us, it clearly must be their fault. Not that they might have preferences or something. The human pysche is much more capable of accepting that their is something wrong in the choice, than an issue of who was not choosen. We all have to accept some will run to this logic as opposed to the facts. Many of these women who are here regularly, got it, you don't want to, then don't date us. So the occasional drop in adhering to the flawed thinking is who they are, nothing more


yeah... I get it... but its like an uphill battle...

the mentality that "its their loss" seems very self centered... Because if the person who states, "its their loss" were all that in the first place... they may not have been left!

Then again, that leads into the guys who did the leaving and their slack ass attitude towards things...

I suppose its a level of maturity and wisdom in respect to the overall picture of life.

wow.... LOL... 1 too many beers!!!!!!! Happy 4th!
 Canoe Gal
Joined: 5/5/2006
Msg: 3055
Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 7/4/2008 8:15:51 PM

your right it is there loss.
Hummm...how can it be a loss if it was never theirs? I'm thinking it should have been manditory for people to read all 140 pgs before making a comment. Yes she's entitled to her opinion, doesn't mean I have to agree with it. Yes I have posted my feelings on what they are missing when not experiencing something but that's different from loosing it...lol Happy 4th to my neighbours to the south. Thank you for sharing a few of your marching bands for our Stampede Parade this morning. They were great.
 LoonyTunz
Joined: 8/11/2006
Msg: 3056
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Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 7/4/2008 10:51:29 PM

your right it is there loss.

Proof positive De Nile is more than just a big river in Africa.

but i have decided that i have a man in my life... my son and he is way more important to me then any any guy will ever be!

Oh oh oh where can I sign up to be treated like that?
Come on! We know your kids are important to you, just as mine are important to me. But it is foolishness bordering on stupidity to insist that any future significant other will always take a backseat in everything.

but there are guys out there who will love you i kn0ow this cuz my "dad" started dating my mom when i was 3 months old so....

This begs the question, was that guy one of the "mangina" owners and content with being a second class human eternally? Or did this poster fail to learn from the example that was right before her eyes as she grew up?

Seriously I am literally shaking my head here. Maaaaaaaaaaaan, what ever happened to treating people in the manner in which you yourself would like to be treated?

Anyway Happy 4th to the Yanks and good luck
 bob2013
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 3057
Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 7/5/2008 7:05:13 AM
3500 posts, 108,000 views and we all get along so well. Who cares about that word rhino, I wouldn't own it. Looney's point I think was her "dad" didn't come in second or third he was the man she knew growing up. Now she does not see the importance of the man that would be in her life. Though that could be from pain in her last relationship as well. Bob
 desertrhino
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 3058
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Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 7/5/2008 7:11:38 AM
Well, in the interest of peace, I'll just let the rest of it slide. Have a nice day, loony.
 LoonyTunz
Joined: 8/11/2006
Msg: 3059
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Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 7/5/2008 9:20:52 AM

3500 posts, 108,000 views and we all get along so well. Who cares about that word rhino, I wouldn't own it. Looney's point I think was her "dad" didn't come in second or third he was the man she knew growing up. Now she does not see the importance of the man that would be in her life. Though that could be from pain in her last relationship as well. Bob

Very very close Bob. Although the "mangina" part was included because there are a few people that are actually like this. I asked because I do not know her situation or her past. She may well have had a spineless twit as a role model of what place a man has in life OR as you stated could have missed the lesson there and be projecting from other experiences.

Rhino if I blanket dismiss your post it is because of one of two things. It is either so over-simplified and PC as to be not worthy of critical though, or instead of addressing the issue you've started running off at the mouth and directly insulting people.
Word of advice, the mod's are thick lately and very quick to edit/remove posts such as yours and ban the posters lately. So you may wish to change your style and hope they never click on pages 40-140.
 forum_moderator
Joined: 1/24/2003
Msg: 3060
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Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 7/5/2008 8:50:13 PM



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