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Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers? [CLOSED]      Home login  
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 joey62422
Joined: 6/23/2005
Msg: 76
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i agree with u jenice i am just looking for someone who is sweet, intelligent, and has a lil bit of kindness lol
 joey62422
Joined: 6/23/2005
Msg: 77
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Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/29/2005 7:53:08 AM
well i look at like this i feel like theres less pressure on guy dating a single mom cause he don;t have to produce a baby
 joey62422
Joined: 6/23/2005
Msg: 78
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Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/29/2005 7:55:53 AM
my problem i get atteched to quickly and fall in love with the kids and the women tells me to get lost or something like that
 brattyfireguy 17
Joined: 6/18/2005
Msg: 79
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Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 7/18/2005 6:18:55 PM
I only run when they have too many wrinkles and they look like whoopie goldberg
 Knight Rider
Joined: 4/10/2005
Msg: 80
Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 7/21/2005 10:57:26 AM
For me it's the heart and soul of a woman I look for,weither she has kids or not
or how many,doesn't affect my decision to date a woman!

Like anything in life,if you're lucky enough to find someone to love and that loves
you in return,then any adjustements that must be made is so well worth it!

Love is hard enough to find,and when you do,you better hang on for dear life,don't
pass up the chance to be happy with someone that you click with,single parent or
not!

Knight Rider!
 mandiegurl
Joined: 4/19/2005
Msg: 81
Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 7/24/2005 2:57:33 PM
I have found through trials and tribulations being a single mother works to my advantage in the dating department. Not all men are privilaged to know about my daughter and only a very select few know about my neice. But the men that know about my beautiful three year old daughter are the ones that have stuck around. The men that have ran the other direction are not worthy of my time or attention. As of next month I will be the single mother to two little girls (as the adoption on my neice will be complete), and if any man does not want to be with me because of them, its their loss. I dont expose the girls to any of the men I date for the mere fact of them becoming attached to a man that isnt planning to be around for a while. I believe that one day I will find that one man that is worthy of being a part of every aspect of my life, including my girls, but until then I am happy being a single mother and I have come to the point where I quite enjoy seeing the boys, pretending to be men, run away from me because of two girls tat had no choice in being here. But remember that single women with no children tend to shy away from men that are fathers, it is a double edged sword that we are all cut by.
 dogar2007
Joined: 5/24/2006
Msg: 82
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Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 9/16/2006 8:11:52 PM
You are 27 years old. When I was that age, quite a few of the women I dated, and the one I married had a child. At that age, it's pretty normal.

Unfortunately for you, there are also plenty of women your age who DON'T have children yet. Many guys in your age group would rather start their own family instead of raising "some other guy's kid".

Also, they may be concerned that they may have to be around your ex, because of the child. Who wants that?

I'm sorry your first guy couldn't or wouldn't stick around or you had to get rid of him, but this is part of the after-effect of that event.

It just means you have to choose from a smaller, more open-minded pool of guys.

At my age, 49, it is a lot different. My little-kid-rearing years are done! Over!
I will deal with teens, 15 and up, but no younger.

Good luck.
 singlemaninMD
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 83
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Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 3/30/2007 11:33:23 AM
Man that is rouh Darrellinocala. Nothing worse than being separated from your kid. I go nut just in the 12 days between the visits. Manthat sounds so wrong "visits"! A father relegated to visits. I never really thought about it that way in 11 years! Man that is like wham!
 Monicaborodi
Joined: 7/16/2007
Msg: 85
Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 8/8/2007 7:05:26 AM
As if dating wasn't hard enough! Try finding a person who is looking for a whole package. It's an oxymoron. For me, being 40 with a 5 year old is difficult, because in your 40's EVERYONE else's kids are over the age of 5.. That's hard..a single guy MIGHT get past all the dating drama, to get to know you.. but in the end he isnt wanting to raise or assist in raising your child (or my 5 year old) Try explaining that you're not looking for assistance in raising, I got it under control.. I've done just fine with the other 2 who are older, and already out of the house thank you very much. They're not going to see it.. kind of like starting life over again.. who wants to change the preverbial diaper after the age of 40? (no, my 5 year old isnt in diapers..) Nooo... Single non-fathers non-custodial fathers are jet skiing on the weekends.. not hitting the zoo, listening to your kid throw a tizzy fit because they want an ice cream.. grrr... Hot diggity, I am there with ya.. and when I figure it all out, I'll be sure & let you know.. humm... ever tried looking for custodial single fathers? That's a trip too.. plenty of fish my ass.. still fishin'.. (btw, single men (in my opinion) who steer clear of single mothers are self obsorbed, me me me... pay attention to me, did I mention I like me? have you met me? let me introduce me, oh for the love of me, me..it's all about me- In which case, identifying those "me" guys is easy & move away from them as quick as possible..it'll never turn out the way you want because they're not interested in anything other than the "me".. their world goes no further than 2 inches from their face) no depth.. who wants that anyway? davidRN we (single mothers) couple be happy multiplying you, clone.. what-have-you.. pleasant attitude..
 Pro Tec
Joined: 7/30/2006
Msg: 86
Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 8/26/2007 3:35:59 AM
Because they are stupid and do not realize children make the world go around. Without children things would be so plain....Don't give up. If the guy does not want your children, HE is not worth having.
 softfeelers
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 87
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Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 8/26/2007 4:14:46 PM
Well said Enchantress!
I am a 46 year old single mom of 2(7 and 11). Can you imagine being my age and trying to find a significant other? My children fully understand about Mom wanting a special someone in her life. Their Dad has been with someone else for many years now.
I believe that good communication is the key to being in any relationship but especially important when there are children involved.
Here's hoping I'm not still here 10 years from now!lol
 Rily
Joined: 2/9/2007
Msg: 88
Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 8/30/2007 7:55:04 PM
I have to disagree dhcracker. I don't think single women run from single fathers as much as the reverse. In fact, being a single mom myself, I try and meet single fathers, because then I'll know that they'll understand the difficulties of parenting and they'll accept that my children come first. IMHO RILY
 funtimefriend
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 90
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Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 9/10/2007 6:45:47 PM
Mr.Mom2...that was a good two cents you added there. Let me add mine, as well...

Whether you are a single mom or single dad, if you have someone who does not want to see you because of your kids, its better to get that out of the way before you even meet the person. Let's face it, we don't have much time to go out now do we? Why waste it on someone who is not going to see you again! Tell them upfront. Get it out in the open and if they decide its not for them, no need to blame them.

Everyone has their preferences on everything from looks, to personality types, and yes, unforunately for us single parents, kids in the picture, too. And that includes us single parents, too. I am sure you have not gone out with someone because there was something about them you did not like. To me it is no different. I just move on...
 Copperskins
Joined: 10/13/2006
Msg: 91
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Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 9/17/2007 3:10:30 PM
You need to reverse the tables here! A man that shuns the fact that you have a child is not the kind of mature, loving man you'd like to have in your life anyway. He likely needs a bit of maturing to do to handle this relationship package as a whole. You and your daughter are a total package and you probably need to raise the bar in regards to whom you'd choose to bring into your life. Make a list of the the qualities you require in a man and I think this would be a good start in the screening process to wead out the incompatible men that, by choice, choose to not date or be with a woman with child(ren).
Hope this helps!
Copperskins
 Canoe Gal
Joined: 5/5/2006
Msg: 92
Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 9/17/2007 3:13:22 PM
I am confused by something here Johne,
I do not want to pay child support for a child that is not mine and as I am looking for a lifetime committment that is why I would be nervous about dating a single mom.
How do you pay child support for someone else's child if you are in a lifetime committment relationship? You do not pay child support if you are together a lifetime.
 Copperskins
Joined: 10/13/2006
Msg: 93
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Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 9/17/2007 3:14:21 PM
Spoken like a true champ! lol
 Canoe Gal
Joined: 5/5/2006
Msg: 94
Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 9/17/2007 9:55:24 PM
Johne, that is the same as me saying that all men,( and I do mean to generalize and STERIO type here using your way of thinking). Because my ex husband was abusive and had to be removed by the courts for my childrens safety and mine I am to use your example and say that I can never enter into another relationship because my ex showed me that there are men out there that prefer to control, abuse and manipulate the very people they are supposed to love. But according to you, because of past experience, ALL MEN ARE LIKE THIS. That's just plain nuts. Life is full of risk. Everything is a gamble. You could walk out your front door, trip and crack your head. Does this mean you never leave your house? You take your past experienses and use them as a way of not repeating the mistakes because you know what to look out for. If you learn from it you are better prepared. If you don't learn from it, you're screwed. You do not avoid someone just because one or two have given you a bad time. If I did that, I'd never go on another date again in my life. You can not live in fear of the "what if". It's not healthy. It's not sane.
 beerbag
Joined: 9/14/2007
Msg: 95
Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 9/18/2007 11:17:02 AM
"it seems to me you are too wrapped up in the legalities of a relationship. If you choose to live with a single mom, simply draw up a contract so that you are not responsible for her children or her debt, etc."

From what I know something like that could be easily over turned in the courts as they need to consider what is in the best interest of the child.

I don't understand why some men in this thread are being berated for wanting to protect their financial future?
 Canoe Gal
Joined: 5/5/2006
Msg: 96
Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 9/18/2007 11:51:09 AM

I don't understand why some men in this thread are being berated for wanting to protect their financial future?
They are not being berated (or at least I'm not berating them) for wanting to protect their financial future. They are being berated (or at least I am berating them) for implying that ALL single mothers are gold digging pihranas who will use them and bleed them dry. That's the attitude that is being berated.
 Canoe Gal
Joined: 5/5/2006
Msg: 97
Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 9/18/2007 11:56:46 AM
He craves the attention and he's obsessed with us.
 beerbag
Joined: 9/14/2007
Msg: 98
Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 9/18/2007 12:21:16 PM

That's the attitude that is being berated.


and for good reason.

This is why I shouldn't jump into a discussion half way through
 Canoe Gal
Joined: 5/5/2006
Msg: 99
Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/4/2007 7:42:11 PM
John, a single mom is risking herself and her children's future. It works both ways.
 Canoe Gal
Joined: 5/5/2006
Msg: 100
Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/8/2007 12:41:29 PM
John it's not just single mothers that do that...both men and women do that regardless of whether they have children or not.
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