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Joined: 1/25/2008
Msg: 187
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Single Parents and benefits.Page 16 of 16    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
OK. With that said. Judge not people lest you be judged. I can not and will not judge a person for getting federal help. Am I in that person’s circumstance? I am not saying that there are people that are out there unnecessarily taking advantage of a system, but by no means can I go out and point them out. Like I said before, I work 2 jobs, and one of the jobs is very lucrative. I choose to work those 2 jobs for my children. Not everyone may be capable of doing that, but again, I cannot and will not judge who can or cannot. But I will be forthright and honest and saying that IF I lost a job, and was in the position of needing “help”, I would not let my pride and judgmental people sway me in getting assistance from whatever program that was available. The welfare of my children takes precedence. From my perspective, I work, I pay taxes that pay for those governmental assistance programs, and I have paid for that right if needed.
Joined: 10/20/2007
Msg: 315
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sounds like you know about alot of things
Posted: 2/11/2008 10:13:30 AM
Hi, how are you doing with everything like having to deal with the kids and day care. I'm lucky enough that i don't have to worry about day care,because my son's grandma and grandpa watch him when i'm at work.S o,i really appreciate it that they can do that for me.Sounds like alot of people aren't so lucky. Talk to you later.
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 361
Single Parents and benefits.
Posted: 3/15/2008 8:51:49 AM

At the moment I work full-time. I work more then full time really. I am seriously considering going part-time though. It's for my son. he needs me home. He isn't doing well in life as he could be. So what do I do? Do i continue to work full-time and hope my son starts doing better? Or do I work less so I am home more so I can be there to support him, to guide him and to help him. if I went part-time I might be forced to apply for some tax benefits. Am I wrong? Isn't my son more important then that? If I made this decision would i be ostracitized or looked down on? Isn't it better to raise a well rounded child then work so much you can't raise them properly??

I had to make this choice 2 years ago. My kids were floundering, my oldest son was failing in school and they wanted to pass his through, at the ripe old age of 7 he was talking about suicide etc. My 6yr old dd was facing expulsion from school due to her behaviour(or lack there of, she just refused to do anywork in school). They were suffering by e working so much. Both have hidden special needs, meaning you can't see them to look at them, they are mental health issues. I made the choice to find a p/t job I could take my kids to (spl;it shift) and homeschool them inbetween the shifts. So when not on maternity leave, I work 7-9 am homeschool from 9-230 then work 2:30-6. There is alot of stigma that goes with it, I do not use welfare or the like, but I do utilize subsidized housing, so my rent is based onincome, considering rent in my city for a 2bdrm apt is around $1200 even working f/t I would need help in that department. I also get full childtax benefits. I am not rolling int he dough, so those who think that people who get child tax benefits are somehow doing better than them is crap. Everyone who files their taxes and doesn't earn a crazy high income gets the benefits (even my mom got them 30 years ago though t was called baby bonus back then) so this is not a new thing designed to make tax payers suffer.

Anyway I digress, I made the choice to cut back to p/t to be their for my children. I get alot of flack for it, but I have seen the positive results, my son now 9, loves life, his meds are dwn to 1/3 of what they were, he loves learning and now has dreams of attending a prestigious private school and university to go into engineering. My dd who previously refused to do school work for her teachers is excelling, and is excited to have found an elementary school zoology science program to do for the next 3 years as she has plans to go into zoology in university. The younger 2 are doing marvelously because they have me home with them in these early years, what a difference from how things were with my older two dropping them off at dycare 10 hours a day.

I didn't plan on becoming a single parent when I got married and had children. I also didn't plan on going for 6 years with no child support when my marriage failed(he has now started paying and has done so for 4 months), or for my ex-husband to not speak to the kids again after the marriage ended. But I did promise my children when I had them that come hell or high water they would have the best life I could give them because they deserved no less. At this point in time giving them that best life means working fewer hours and getting child tax benefit to do so. Single parenting is tough enough without people who have never had to raise their children alone telling us how wrong we all our for our choices.
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