Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 wanderbaby
Joined: 9/4/2006
Msg: 2
view profile
History
When is the right time to introduce your kids to your BF/GF?Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
there are threads talking about introducing kids to potential bf/gf. It's a catch 22, as you said OP, you just have to do it at the right time for you and everyone else. Perhaps after a few dates, a month, then you can introduce each other in a public setting like a park or ice cream restaurant, but just go as friends with no expectations other than to meet up with friends and have fun. Perhaps you should ask potential dates if they got to meet the person they date's kids and how did they feel and handle the situation. Just make it short, and no affection shown in front of the child.
 techgirl27
Joined: 9/5/2005
Msg: 6
view profile
History
When is the right time to introduce your kids to your BF/GF?
Posted: 1/14/2008 7:01:34 PM
my kids meet all of my friends, male or female, when they meet me for the 2nd time or later. I think keeping secrets from your kid then "Surprising" them with the fact that you're "serious" with a person way too late before they even get to know who they are, is wrong.

My kids dont get attached to my acquaintances because they know that they are just that, acquaintances. Whatever evolves from any of them, evolves. I also want to see how my friends or prospects are going to act around my kids before I decide I am going to go further with them.

I personally think the longer you wait, the greater risk of disappointment there is. Besides, just like we judge a prospect by when they introduce us to their friends or relatives, parents are judged on how long they take to introduce others to their kids. As the "other" person, they wonder why you are keeping them from them.

I say do it early on, just dont announce "this is my girlfriend, Jeannie" or what have you.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 8
view profile
History
When is the right time to introduce your kids to your BF/GF?
Posted: 1/14/2008 8:07:36 PM
I'm assuming that your son is young. When you are getting to know someone an introduction when you are getting picked up is fine but more than that I would wait until you knew the guy fairly well and think he is going to stick around. Even then, you don't want tons of contact immediately.

It is a balancing act and you will find that you have instincts to guide you as well as your intellect.

Some people will as you have already discovered, try to make you believe that being a good parent requires sacrificing all of your life and happiness and that is simply not true and exactly the opposite. Your child needs to see that you have a well rounded life which includes some adult social time whether it is with female friends and/or someone you date.
 huronbraxx
Joined: 9/18/2007
Msg: 10
view profile
History
When is the right time to introduce your kids to your BF/GF?
Posted: 1/16/2008 7:46:09 AM
i would think it's not necessarily a matter of time itself but more a matter of curcumstance, knowing the bf/gf well enough that they are not nutz, things are going well and a huge amount of 'getting to know eachther' has happened and has favorable outlook, and of course the age/upbringing/personalities of the child(ren) themselves.
in all fairness though in terms of time, probably before the relationship gets 'ultra serious' waiting too long and finding out your new partner and children are such polar opposites they couldn't possibly be a part of eachother's lives, would hurt more from the lengthy time to get attached to eachother.

just my thoughts on it neways
Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  >