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 Michael 2008
Joined: 5/3/2007
Msg: 229
Jokes that crack you up but others don't find 'that' funnyPage 3 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
What did the snail say while riding on the turtle?

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!
 Green Eyes In Florida
Joined: 12/17/2007
Msg: 230
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Jokes that crack you up but others don't find 'that' funny
Posted: 1/14/2009 8:06:55 PM
I laughed over a bunch of these, but especially msg 139 and 140. Great..I'll have to remember those.

When my daughter was a little girl, she liked to tell jokes and, here are two that I remember.

What did the hot dog say to the hot dog bun at the finish line?

I'm the wiener!!!! (cute, huh?)


Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Grape.
Grape who?
Grape to see you!!! (another cute one)

Here's my contribution:
What's the difference between a red-headed rooster and a red-headed prostitute?

One says, c ock-adoodle-doo and the other says Any c ock will do. LOL

~~Beth~~
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 237
Jokes that crack you up but others don't find 'that' funny
Posted: 1/16/2009 1:43:38 PM
(Preface this by saying I heard it from an 8 year old, but it still cracks me up.)

What stands in a field and says "oooooo, ooooooooooo, oooooo"?

A cow with no lips!


Low humor?
 jeeplover41
Joined: 9/7/2008
Msg: 238
Jokes that crack you up but others don't find 'that' funny
Posted: 1/16/2009 3:30:41 PM
Two cannibals are eating a clown.....



one cannibal asks............


does this taste funny to you.....?

*************************************************************************

A bear and a rabbit are crapping nearby in the woods...

the bear asks the rabbit "do you ever have trouble with crap sticking to your fur?"

the rabbit says :" no, never"

so the bear wiped his a$$ with the rabbit.......


Those are my two favorites
 nd300
Joined: 2/25/2007
Msg: 239
Jokes that crack you up but others don't find 'that' funny
Posted: 1/16/2009 8:40:17 PM
If love is blind,then why is lingerie so popular???????????????
 Ghost08*
Joined: 7/30/2005
Msg: 244
Jokes that crack you up but others don't find 'that' funny
Posted: 1/19/2009 12:08:25 PM
as seen on vh1

they had these two thumb with googley eyes and everything dressed up

Thumb 1 "what has one thumb and loves rock and roll?"
Thumb 2 points backwards "erm...this guy?"
Thumb 1 " no the drummer from def lepperd"
lol
that and i know im going to get a lot of shit for this one but--a comedian reinacted John Lennon's last song he ever wrote--
"what that you got in your hand? pow pow aghhh!"
 nonsensical
Joined: 8/20/2006
Msg: 245
Jokes that crack you up but others don't find 'that' funny
Posted: 1/22/2009 2:30:14 AM
What do you call the last jelly bean left in an Easter basket?
A has bean
 ArrowSparrow
Joined: 1/23/2009
Msg: 250
Jokes that crack you up but others don't find 'that' funny
Posted: 1/28/2009 6:28:55 PM
I always laugh at this one, but others just blink when I tell it.

Why does the light go out when you close the refrigerator door?








Give up?







Because the mayonnaise is dressing!!

Come on... that's funny, I don't care who you are.
 1darknight
Joined: 12/17/2008
Msg: 252
Jokes that crack you up but others don't find 'that' funny
Posted: 1/29/2009 1:32:07 AM
How do you recycle a used rubber?.........................turn it inside out and shake the fu*k out of it!!!:)
 1darknight
Joined: 12/17/2008
Msg: 253
Jokes that crack you up but others don't find 'that' funny
Posted: 1/29/2009 1:33:29 AM
Whats the difference between light and hard?.........You can sleep with a light on!
 1darknight
Joined: 12/17/2008
Msg: 254
Jokes that crack you up but others don't find 'that' funny
Posted: 1/29/2009 1:35:08 AM
Whats the difference between tapes and CD's?..................If I tape my di*k to your forehead, you'll CD's nuts!:)
 Green Eyes In Florida
Joined: 12/17/2007
Msg: 260
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Jokes that crack you up but others don't find 'that' funny
Posted: 2/2/2009 12:36:44 AM
I thought I would contribute another one although a bit risque.

I heard this the other day....

Did you know that "69" has now been changed to "96"?
Due to the economic conditions, the cost of eating out is too expensive.

LOL

~~Beth~~
 Green Eyes In Florida
Joined: 12/17/2007
Msg: 263
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Jokes that crack you up but others don't find 'that' funny
Posted: 2/4/2009 3:11:39 PM
I remembered another one:

What is better than two hands on a piano?

Tulips (two lips- get it?) on an organ.



~~Beth~~
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 265
 english lass
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 268
Jokes that crack you up but others don't find 'that' funny
Posted: 2/5/2009 6:32:40 PM
a scientist caught a frog and tied a piece of twine around its middle


on the first day the scientist set the frog at the beginning stripe and said, "jump frog! jump!" the frog jumped...

and the scientist wrote in his notebook: 'frog with four legs jumps 18 inches'



on the second day the scientist cut off one of the frog's legs, set him at the beginning stripe and said, "jump frog! jump!" the frog jumped....

and the scientist wrote in his notebook: 'frog with three legs jumps 12 inches'



on the third day the scientist cut off another one of the frog's legs, set him at the beginning stripe and said, "jump frog! jump!" the frog jumped....

and the scientist wrote in his notebook: 'frog with two legs jumps 8 inches'



on the fourth day the scientist cut off the third of the frog's legs, set him at the beginning stripe and said, "jump frog! jump!" the frog jumped....

and the scientist wrote in his notebook: 'frog with one leg jumps 4 inches'



on the fifth day the scientist cut off the last of the frog's legs, set him at the beginning stripe and said, "jump frog! jump!" the frog didn't jump....
"jump frog! jump!" said the scientist even louder, but the frog moved not a bit... "JUMP FROG! JUMP! JUMP!!!" shouted the scientist, but the frog remained still...

and the scientist wrote in his notebook: 'frog with no legs goes deaf'
 shawnscmc
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 270
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Jokes that crack you up but others don't find 'that' funny
Posted: 2/7/2009 9:29:32 AM
This baby seal walks into a club...
 shawnscmc
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 271
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Jokes that crack you up but others don't find 'that' funny
Posted: 2/7/2009 9:32:02 AM
How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two.












It takes two of anything to SCREW.........in a lightbulb (Sorry, some people just won't get it.)
 shawnscmc
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 272
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Jokes that crack you up but others don't find 'that' funny
Posted: 2/7/2009 9:37:05 AM
A guy walks into a bar with a dog and the bartender says "We don't allow dogs in here, they could s h i t on the floor. You need to leave" So as the guy is leaving, sure enough, the dog squats and leaves a pile by the front door. Just then this little guy walks in...steps in the pile and slips and slides and crashes head first into the back wall. A few seconds later this big guy enters the bar and steps in the same pile and slides straight into the little guy at the back of the bar. As they pick themselves up the little guy smiles and says "That's funny, I just did that." So the big guy punched him.
 PAClassyLady
Joined: 5/31/2008
Msg: 275
Lucky?
Posted: 2/8/2009 4:54:52 PM
Maybe it was 9 that was lucky, James. *wink*
 OHIBLU61
Joined: 8/3/2009
Msg: 277
Jokes that crack you up but others don't find 'that' funny
Posted: 8/20/2009 12:07:01 AM
IF U GOT SWOLLOWED BY AN ELEPHANT HOW WOULD U GET OUT? JUMP UP AND DOWN TIL U GOT ALL POOPED OUT.
 jojoaus
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 278
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Jokes that crack you up but others don't find 'that' funny
Posted: 8/20/2009 5:14:55 AM
^^^^^^^ Reminds me of several lame elepant jokes. Well... elephant jokes that are lame. Not lame elephants per se. Tho the elephants in the jokes may or may not have been lame. Harrumphhhh!

Q. What do you do if an elephant comes in your window??
A. Swim!!

Q. What is the biggest drawbackin the jungle?
A. An elephant's foreskin

Q. How do you fit 4 elephants in a mini?
A. 2 in the front, 2 in the back

Q. How do you know there's an elephant under your bed?
A. When you are touching the ceiling

Q. How do you know there has been an elephant in the fridge?
A. By the footprints in the butter

Q. How does an elephant get down from a tree?
A. He doesn't- he gets it from a duck

Q. How do you know there's an elephant in your bed?
A. B y the E embroidered on his pyjaman


Yikes!! Nurse Clarice is here... byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
 jojoaus
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 279
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Jokes that crack you up but others don't find 'that' funny
Posted: 8/20/2009 5:16:08 AM
^^^^^^^ Reminds me of several lame elepant jokes. Well... elephant jokes that are lame. Not lame elephants per se. Tho the elephants in the jokes may or may not have been lame. Harrumphhhh!

Q. What do you do if an elephant comes in your window??
A. Swim!!

Q. What is the biggest drawbackin the jungle?
A. An elephant's foreskin

Q. How do you fit 4 elephants in a mini?
A. 2 in the front, 2 in the back

Q. How do you know there's an elephant under your bed?
A. When you are touching the ceiling

Q. How do you know there has been an elephant in the fridge?
A. By the footprints in the butter

Q. How does an elephant get down from a tree?
A. He doesn't- he gets it from a duck

Q. How do you know there's an elephant in your bed?
A. B y the E embroidered on his pyjamas


Yikes!! Nurse Clarice is here... byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee


ARRGHHHHHH!! First ever double post!! And its a doozy! Sorreeeeeeeeeeee!!eeeeeee
 JaffaDeLancia
Joined: 8/16/2009
Msg: 280
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Jokes that crack you up but others don't find 'that' funny
Posted: 8/20/2009 9:36:37 AM
what did hitler say to the germans before they went into the tanks?


.....get in the tanks.
 luvtoluvubaby
Joined: 2/28/2008
Msg: 281
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Jokes that crack you up but others don't find 'that' funny
Posted: 8/20/2009 10:07:33 AM
Laughter really is the best medicine.
 NY2CA_123
Joined: 5/6/2009
Msg: 282
Jokes that crack you up but others don't find 'that' funny
Posted: 8/20/2009 12:09:30 PM
Wow, these are all bad!
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