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Show ALL Forums  > UK forums  > I had a relationship with someone who was a muslim      Home login  
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 diabolikk
Joined: 12/16/2007
Msg: 126
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I had a relationship with someone who was a muslimPage 6 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
Surreygal 125
What I actually meant is that in Turkey women are relatively better off than any other Muslim country there is.

Made to stay at home is not bad against severe beating, marriage-rape and social humiliation which are common phenomena of female condition, in any Muslim's country social fabric.

I have travelled too, extensively. I love Arab culture. I know Islam rather well.
We will keep big differences on our ideas of what it is but I am happy you are not controlled; I just wish there were more of your strenght.
 chrissy-wigan
Joined: 4/8/2008
Msg: 127
I had a relationship with someone who was a muslim
Posted: 7/2/2008 4:00:06 PM
i really dont think it matters if a man has it in him to beat women he will my ex-husband kicked 7bells out of me on our wedding day because in his words i thought i was the bees knees lol it went on for afew mths and i was gone like the wind.


 angelsprinkles
Joined: 6/29/2008
Msg: 128
I had a relationship with someone who was a muslim
Posted: 7/2/2008 5:50:38 PM
oh hey surrygal , thats cool thankyou ..

i get a bit confused about it all ... i sit and listen to all the paki jokes and the slaggings etc ... knowing my precious baby has her roots right there...then i join in !!!!

i have my own feeling and thoughts about it all , and i do appreciate you sharing your experience with me
 ukchancer
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 129
I had a relationship with someone who was a muslim
Posted: 7/2/2008 10:33:55 PM
I would like to point out that its not Islam the muslim religion that is bad or wrong but its the individuals who behave in an unacceptable way that is wrong.
Alot of people confuse religion with tradtion and local customs.
There is equality in our religion so anything else is just a tradition and a custom not a requirement of Islam.
I am a muslim , yet most of my friends are white and i have friends that are indian / jewish/ chinese and from everywhere else around the world as well and most muslims i know have friends like mine as well.
As a muslim i have brought up to be a good muslim , good father , good son , good neighbour and work hard which i do and im sure these are same values for a good christian as well.
Muslims DO NOT make their women walk behind them , that is total fabrication. Domestic abuse is wrong , evil and unacceptable in every society and its not just a muslim problem.
As a muslim you are not allowed to have a girlfriend so to speak or have a sexual relationship outside of marriage hence some muslims that do try not to flaunt the fact and do jump into alleyways when theyre out with a girl because they want to be seen to be doing something wrong.
I am a muslim , a good friend , dedicated community volunteer , have friends from all faiths and i would like to point out that 95 % of Islam and christianity is made up of same beliefs , we share the same god , same prophets and same values.
So please dont make the religion sound out to be bad when its customs that are alot ofthe time to blame.
 bowie_fan86
Joined: 4/25/2008
Msg: 130
I had a relationship with someone who was a muslim
Posted: 7/20/2008 7:50:59 PM
i dated a wonderful muslim man,he is a fantastic man, never ever treated a women badly and didnt treat me badly for a second,i have male muslim friends, great guy, treat all people with respect though often dont reciev it back as they are asian muslim
i think what most the people on this forum are talking about is the minority of cases, there are white men who terrify their wives,black men who terrfy their wifes and children,all of this i belive is in the minority of cases
in japan mothers meet up at a local market holding pictures of their daughters and sons as they are afraid that they wont get married and arrange dates for their children, their children are treated like cattle in a market,this is the minority, as are arranged marriages,my friend recently had an arranged marriage,her family arranged the meeting with the boy,the got on, got to know eachother and go married,then my ffather had a pupil kidnapped and forced into an arranged marriage,then theres the other friend,he was forced into an arranged marriage, he met his wife after they were married and were then led to the bedroom by the family
all this stuff is in the monority
not all muslim men are violent nd oppressive,white and black men are just as guilty
why not judge a person for who they are and not their faith
 mofwtmy
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 131
I had a relationship with someone who was a muslim
Posted: 7/20/2008 8:27:48 PM
then my ffather had a pupil kidnapped and forced into an arranged marriage


Though this would place you in a quandry _ I do hope you have reported this criminal act to the relavent authorities. I assume the Police would take this very seriously.
 Ray67
Joined: 6/28/2008
Msg: 132
I had a relationship with someone who was a muslim
Posted: 7/20/2008 11:39:09 PM

I had a relationship with someone who was a muslim


God damn that was lucky of you all I ever find I have relationships with are plan old humans
 AlmaM
Joined: 3/20/2008
Msg: 133
I had a relationship with someone who was a muslim
Posted: 7/21/2008 1:34:44 AM
I have Muslim people among my friends.. and IMO there is nothing what would make these friends of mine more extreme than pe0ple of other religions.

There is a religion and there is abuse of religion as it suits one. It mostly depends on the education level of the religious person and I do not mean schools here..

As for Turkey: Turkey itself had a leader called Kemal Ataturk who changed women rights in period 1920s to 1930s establishing that women in Turkey have equal rights and opprtunities as men.


"With abiding faith in the vital importance of women in society, Atatürk launched many reforms to give Turkish women equal rights and opportunities. The new Civil Code, adopted in 1926, abolished polygamy and recognized the equal rights of women in divorce, custody, and inheritance. The entire educational system from the grade school to the university became coeducational.

Atatürk greatly admired the support that the national liberation struggle received from women and praised their many contributions: " In Turkish society, women have not lagged behind men in science, scholarship, and culture. Perhaps they have even gone further ahead." He gave women the same opportunities as men, including full political rights. In the mid-1930s, 18 women, among them a villager, were elected to the national parliament. Later, Turkey had the world's first women supreme court justice.

In all walks of life, Atatürk's Turkey has produced tens of thousands of well-educated women who participate in national life as doctors, lawyers, engineers, teachers, writers, administrators, executives, and creative artists..

http://www.ataturk.com/content/view/20/39/

So it seems the able women in Turkey in 1930s 'd had more rights that the able women of the City of London who were not allowed into gents clubs.
 try1more
Joined: 12/16/2007
Msg: 134
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I had a relationship with someone who was a muslim
Posted: 7/21/2008 3:58:06 AM
just been reading some of the posts on here esp those slagging off the muslims for treating women as second class citizens.
i cant help wondering. have any of you heard of emily pankhurst?
 bowie_fan86
Joined: 4/25/2008
Msg: 135
I had a relationship with someone who was a muslim
Posted: 7/21/2008 11:16:18 AM
haha,did i ever say being a muslim didnt make you human?i think you are trying to find something that isnt there,or are you saying muslims arent plain old humans?
my father is muslim,i step mother is muslim,my sister is muslim, i choose not to follow the faith
do not even attempt to imply that i am predjudice at all
before you sink to those depraved depths atleast have a degree of knowledge about a person,i am very much insulted,is this forum merely a slanging match?? when someone has an opinion based on life experience you guys seem to through it back at them,ridiculous
u r unbeliveable and not in a good way
 sharpgeeza
Joined: 6/17/2008
Msg: 136
I had a relationship with someone who was a muslim
Posted: 8/8/2008 8:11:21 PM
saying I had a bad relationship with a Muslim, and generalising it to all Muslims, is like saying I had a relationship with some one who works at BT and had a bad experince, and generalising that experience to eeeeeeevvvvvverrrrrrrryyyyyyy person at BT.

But just to clarify, Muslims by definition are not supposed to be 'dating' in the standard sense of dating, so if Muslim is having relationships then they generally won't be following the rest of the religion which teaches about rights of different indivduals including their partner or woman/ men in general. Also these people would be more likely to get their views on treatment of people from culture and traditions, which are not rooted in Islam.

Islam does not teach that men are better then woman or that woman should be treated badly, or to oppress them in any way. If a woman is not given her rights by a man who is a Muslim then like with any other religion the source of this injustice would be from the man himself, and nothing to be attached to the religion.

Sorry the post isnt as good as it should be and how long it is, I am a kinda tired, but felt I had to post my little bit aswell.

If there are any other questions about Islam, I'd be more then happy to answer them, or if anyone believes other then what I have stated, feel free to chanllege me and in respectful decent manner! :)

Anywhoo im off 2 get back up on some

peoples!
 babes43
Joined: 7/17/2008
Msg: 137
I had a relationship with someone who was a muslim
Posted: 8/9/2008 1:49:20 AM
smilinglaughing

they don't ill treat, just different way.

it is a different culture.

if it isn't the right for you, and you expect different behaviour, than you shouldn't date muslims.

understanding, respecting their religion and tolerance towards that is different than willingness to change your life because of that.

happy weekend!

wether its a different culture or not ,,what gives them the right to beat a woman,so reading the posts above you,,where women have had experiences with muslims who beat them and physically ,,mentally abuse them,,your quote is saying that because of the different culture people have to expect that,,well im sorry but my opinion is no matter what culture you are beating and abusing women is wrong,,muslims need to learn that what they are taught in there culture doesnt mean its right to do,,its not only muslims who abuse women,,all men who abuse should be punished severely,,but then again you cant call them a man if they abuse women so lets just call them animals who need caging up
 casandra67
Joined: 1/26/2008
Msg: 138
I had a relationship with someone who was a muslim
Posted: 8/11/2008 6:47:41 AM
Some say the Hijab takes away the persons individuality, some say it is a choice women make for respect. I can only comment from experience. In 2005 I lived in Egypt and didnt wear the Hijab for the first part of my stay. I was harrased and had my bottom pinched often. I was told that if I wore the Hijab when I went out then I would get respect. Hmmm so I am not deserving respect unless I wear Hijab. For my own personal safety and out of fear, I wore a Hijab for the rest of my stay. It was stinking hot and I hated it.
If only I had a $1 for every time I heard a muslim say "its the media putting Muslims in a bad light". Ummm dont think so for its the Muslims doing things that are getting the media attention and also to the one I used to be with, he put Muslims in a bad light all on his own by his lying, deceiving and theivery.
To the comments about Pakistanis, I would have to agree, mine would send hundreds of dollars to his family and leave me with nothing for food, bills etc.
For me, its the arrogance of it all that bothers me most. For people to shout loud and proud that they are the right ones and they are followers of Allah and only they will go to heaven then everytime they do something wrong/evil we are going to point a finger. Arent we? Just if someone shouts I am PERFECT in every way, we will notice they have a crooked nose LOL
 surreygal
Joined: 10/11/2006
Msg: 139
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I had a relationship with someone who was a muslim
Posted: 8/11/2008 6:57:57 AM
Hi Casandra

My dad use to do the same to my mother and they are both pakistanis. My dad use to send money back home every chance he got. My mum makes him suffer now though funny how times have changed.

I have been to turkey, tunisia and will be going to morocco soon. I do not wear a hijab and will not in any of these countries. I have had no issues when visiting these countries but ive got to say they do think im either turkish or tunisian so leave me alone. The travel agents have told me this is due to the fact that i am not blond with blue eyes. I do not agree with their behaviour infact i think it is vile. If i do not get respect from a man regardless of faith or culture i will show him the door.

To be a good muslim you need to be humble. To run around and tell people that you are perfect will not do you favours in gods eyes. As a muslim if i give money to charity i am suppose to keep it quiet. If i go around and tell everyone how brilliant i am for parting with my money the reward will be lost. There are alot of nations that are arrogant and im sure its worldwide.
 Steve_Sandy
Joined: 3/19/2006
Msg: 140
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I had a relationship with someone who was a muslim
Posted: 8/11/2008 7:00:39 AM
know some muslims who would never consider marrying a christian, but use them for fun and practice as one put it

the hijab is a cultral thing and not required to become a muslim, not think much of the women who drive in them with a space for the eyes alone, very dangerous....
 sharpgeeza
Joined: 6/17/2008
Msg: 141
I had a relationship with someone who was a muslim
Posted: 8/11/2008 7:37:46 AM

the hijab is a cultral thing and not required to become a muslim


Hijab is an obligation by the religion, however to become a Muslim you don't have to wear one straight away.
 dub08
Joined: 4/28/2007
Msg: 142
I had a relationship with someone who was a muslim
Posted: 8/11/2008 11:01:53 AM
Hijab is not an obligation. I lived in the Middle East for 10 years - some women wore it and some didn't. It is up to them - or their families to be more specific.

It is the law in some Arab countries, but not all, that all women be covered no matter what their nationality.

With regards to relationships I have several friends who are married to Muslim men and carry on as normal i.e clothes etc. However other friends married to Muslims suddenly find that their very modern and Westernised boyfriend turns a strict Muslim once married and that's a real eye-opener.
 xxparisxx22
Joined: 11/17/2007
Msg: 143
I had a relationship with someone who was a muslim
Posted: 8/11/2008 12:13:48 PM
[all muslim men are the same.their own families especially the women live in fear of them,i know i have talked to a lot of the women and their daughters.] (this is a quote)

Firstly I have read through this thread with, frankly, disgust. I do not under any circumstance advocate violence against women, nor mistreatment of wives and daughters.

However, I am disappointed by the overwhelming hatred of muslim men that come across in many posts. My uncle is a muslim and my aunt white. He has never treated her with anything but respect. The same thing goes for his attitude towards my female cousin whom he supported through university and many other pursuits which have been deemed 'unmuslim' on this thread. In gerneal the majority of muslim men who live in this country do not follow the kor'an to the letter, as maybe happens in a muslim country like Iran.

To the woman who did not wear the hijab...firstly I think you should have worn it in the first place. When I went to visit my uncles family in Iran I wore it out of respect for Muslim culture in much the same way as we would expect people from other cultures to act here.
 casandra67
Joined: 1/26/2008
Msg: 144
I had a relationship with someone who was a muslim
Posted: 8/12/2008 3:07:27 AM
Hi to you to surreygal.
I also have visited Turkey and Tunisia and did not wear the Hijab there with no problem. In Turkey just being a women in iteself was a problem LOL, I recall many times I would be in a que and the men would barge me out of the way like I didnt exist but Tunisia was great.
I was very blonde up until early this year and I have green eyes so perhaps that made things worse but still distressing I couldn't be allowed to be simply me even though I was always dressed with long pants and long sleeves.

I hear the poster that said her friend married a Muslim man that seemed very western but after marriage became very strict. Same thing happend to me, hardly heard the wordAllah prior to marriage then after marriage there was no conversation without Allah or Mohammad and disgust because I wouldnt convert. Easier to get rid of him :-)

I can only speak of my own experience and its not about hating a certain religion but I do hate being preached to by someone that is of worse character than I am.
 music-crazy
Joined: 9/1/2007
Msg: 145
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I had a relationship with someone who was a muslim
Posted: 8/29/2008 4:09:34 PM
rhianlouise - I think some people are just trying to wind you up by being a bit Controversial.

;-)

G
 boredandbusy33
Joined: 2/25/2008
Msg: 146
I had a relationship with someone who was a muslim
Posted: 8/30/2008 10:27:51 AM
Well, I am a 'devout' Muslim and will tell you that he was clearly abusing you. Keep in mind, a lot of this behavior and other things we see in the media are actually tied to cultural and geographic behaviors that choose to ignore, skew, and 'improve upon' what Islam has said.

For example, Islam says that women must be modest in public (MEN TOO!). It's advised that women walk behind the man. Think about going into an unknown/dangerous situation... "No no, YOU go first. I don't know what's over there". This behavior is simply the man protecting the woman.

There's nothing to say about the hitting. It's just stupid.

The problem is that Islam is very structured around the protection of the family unit. Women are obviously part of that, and some men choose to use it as an excuse to take on possesive/abusive behaviors out of selfishness.
 Devilash
Joined: 2/8/2007
Msg: 147
I had a relationship with someone who was a muslim
Posted: 9/9/2008 4:18:08 PM
well well being a muslim what can i say, i think not trying to defend bad people or misunderstanding.in my opinion you get good and bad in all walks of life.some people use religion as an excuse or use religion in the wrong context to gain trust and cause hatred and wars.i believe every religion teaches peace..im a muslim ive dated other religions , different nationalities and i would and could never be violent to any woman..for those that are in a violent relationship please try to get out whether it is a muslim or any other race religion,ethnicity these people are abuser and use religion to hide behind or colour and hide behind these walls to pick and manipulate people..also i would like to point out that abusers are very very intelligent people and abuse whether physicall,emotional,can take place slowly over a number of years,and it is a proven fact if an abuse has been happening slowly over a number of years it is normally well calculated and hard to get out of..by the way i have worked wiyh kids and domestic volence sorry to go on,, ash
 snowman64
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 148
I had a relationship with someone who was a muslim
Posted: 9/9/2008 7:26:20 PM
hi,i am a muslim but i am very different from him.i come from a muslim country which has democracy and secular .i have degree as well.i know there are some men like that in many muslim countries but mine is secular and women and men have the same rights.
 sweetness30
Joined: 10/14/2005
Msg: 149
I had a relationship with someone who was a muslim
Posted: 9/9/2008 10:51:07 PM
I'd like to comment but i think the OP has started it because they're anti-muslim and want to see a hate thread.
 A/MALEK
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 150
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I had a relationship with someone who was a muslim
Posted: 9/10/2008 6:40:51 PM
,all muslim men are the same.their own families especially the women live in fear of them,i know i have talked to a lot of the women and their daughters.((muslim men +pakistan.)))
this phrases are from your message Iwanted just to ask you if all english men are the same ,and if Islam =pakistan?????
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