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 Rob_SA
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 71
Speed Dating for SeniorsPage 2 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
djawjuh said: What is there to fear? Rejection? Happens all the time. Nobody amongs the folks I've read could possibly be a sales person, a trial lawyer or be in any occupation that requires selling ones self.


An interesting take on the subject. There are the salespeople who totally believe in themselves and their product. There are the salespeople who use all the "Dale Carnegie" tactics to make the sale whether they believe in the product or not, somewhat like the trial lawyers. I've been a salesman, I know the tricks, I know that the secret of success is sincerity and once you've can fake that you've got it made.

I can see that speed dating would work as a tool to generate contacts and one off dates, but I'd be surprised if it would lead to long term relationships. It's like people joining Rotary or Lions because they have no time to nurture friendships that lead to a social life so they piggy-back onto an existing structure and that may lead to the friendships they seek. I'm 52, I've been around the block a few times, I've lied and been lied to, I've tried to change people and had people try to change me. I see any dating experience as being a bit like a crocodile sitting a river with just his eyes and nostrils above the water, hoping that something nice will come along but accepting that the feed he gets every few months will have to do, even if it tastes like cr ap.
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 73
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Speed Dating for Seniors
Posted: 12/23/2009 12:05:31 PM
I find the whole concept rather bizarre. It's kind of like choosing drive-thru fast food because it's right now, instead of waiting for prime rib and yorkshire pudding at some future time. You may not know just when, but why waste your opportunity on a big mac?
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 75
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Speed Dating for Seniors
Posted: 12/23/2009 12:56:11 PM
I will pass on both the Big Mac and the speed dating.

If people want to put themselves out there in that way, that is their choice. Myself, I would feel the whole thing was too disrespectful of both sexes for words. Too needy for my tastes.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 76
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Speed Dating for Seniors
Posted: 12/23/2009 1:14:03 PM
Did some serious speed dating in the cash register line ups while Xmas shopping. Struck gold a few times as well!

Once you get past the horror of dating, the mechanics don't much matter. Its all about meeting as many people as you can, and one thing about speed dating is you know that those who are participating are there seriously looking to meet someone. Much better than, say, cold calling the neighbours, or even worse, hitting on people at work!

Anyway, I find you can speed date anywhere, anytime. Go to a party and chat up the ladies in attendance. That is pretty much the same as speed dating as far as I can see. Or hit a meat market bar in any town or city. Same thing. Only difference is you usually spend less than your 8 minutes on the misses, and nobody whistles time out on the hits!
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 77
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Speed Dating for Seniors
Posted: 12/23/2009 1:38:29 PM
LOL! Bring on the horror! Seriously, I already know what's available around here, and no way. The two nicest guys I know here are out of the running anyway. One is old enough to be my father, and he's slowly dying of cancer related causes. The other is young enough to be my son. And both of them are gay.
 purplerocks
Joined: 6/4/2006
Msg: 78
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Speed Dating for Seniors
Posted: 1/2/2010 9:03:43 AM
SPEED DATING?....I'm waiting for slow motion dating
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 79
Speed Dating for Seniors
Posted: 1/2/2010 9:57:23 AM
SPEED DATING: Is that not what I am already doing already? I am liable to run out of gas shortly.. Have to hope the one I meet this evening last longer than dinner..

thecatsmeoww
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 81
Speed Dating for Seniors
Posted: 1/3/2010 2:00:09 AM

i'm sure that's what i've been doing all my life..


Gads Daffie I must say in just a few months of speed dating I am totally spent.. Need to go back under the covers and recharge my batteries.. On second thought maybe putting some heavy lead in my shoes might just help?

thecatsmeoww
 Rythmn
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 82
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Speed Dating for Seniors
Posted: 1/5/2010 11:12:07 AM
i'm more used to the many older single social events in this town. so i would not fear it. a local venue is considering it at the urging of the older women (go figure). now i am dating someone. but, when discussed with some members of my meetup group while attending this venue, t said it would not appeal to me. i take time to know someone and assess the interaction. he might be "cute", but that is only one part of what makes someone tick. for me, it often takes a couple dates or shared activities and discussions. i can, however, rule out a number of immediate no's.

how to pick amongst the "possibilities", is what takes time. we do have a meetup where an equal number of men and women go out for dinner and i am told that they are asked to circulate and meet all the attendees. i don't know anyone personally who has met their mate that way, but think i'll ask. i had planned to get to that meetup myself, but real life dating interfered.

i do know that a lot of people have begun to hang out together, often via attending other meetups as well. i think that's a good start. for example, at one film meetup, a young college girl brought her dad for the "older ladies". he was just in his 50's. so, in comparing to speed dating, for me the networking and hanging out together from the meetups is the better way to go!

in the course of all that, if a few want to try out the speed dating, it's no biggie. a group of mixed men and women will probably attend for moral support and then see what meeting new people will bring. the speed daters will then probably join the meetups!
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 85
Speed Dating for Seniors
Posted: 1/5/2010 6:05:54 PM

it's completely anathemic to my nature


..."Anathemic"....No idea what that mean't. Had to look it up, still unsure so I won't be using that one in a sentence (lol)

I would try speed dating just for pure entertainment value. Give me something to talk about at the water cooler in the mornings.

...maeflowers
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 87
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Speed Dating for Seniors
Posted: 1/5/2010 6:12:55 PM
C'mon...its the only kind of dating there is. Now they just found a way to charge you 20 bucks or so for the privilege. In the old days it was a lot more efficient. You walked up to a woman who interested you and she shot you down immediately. Now you have to wait for a summary at some later time.

Or, she didn't shoot you down and you went to her place instead of waiting for the results, which show that the one's you did not find enthralling loved you, and the ones who you fell in love with have no interest.

Much better to chat up someone in the frozen food section of the local supermarket. When you notice her smile is defrosting the prepared dinners, make your move by pointing out that the Chicken Buryani is on special, 2 for 1! You know you are going to get luck if she responds with "Oh! I just love Indian food"
 ForumSleuth
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 90
Speed Dating for Seniors
Posted: 1/8/2010 1:50:19 AM
Interesting. Talk about a bunch of narrow minded, head in the sand thinking by the vast majority of responders here. Is it any wonder they are STILL looking? For so many 50ish or older folks to be so unwilling to TRY something new or different simply confirms the lack of purpose or serious intent of most dating sight Seniors.

Therein lay the problem. Where has sitting in front of the computer typing endlessly back and forth in your jammies gotten you? Is it also safe to say that most of you have never attended or would never attend a PoF event either? Gotta protect that image right?

YES, I have been to more than one speed dating event. They ARE a viable alternative to online or real world dating.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 92
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Speed Dating for Seniors
Posted: 1/8/2010 5:14:15 AM

"how unnatural, how forced, how intimidating and how totally fake"


Indeed. Not at all like the internet.......

Really, I suspect one could get used to it and it does have the advantage that the participants are all motivated. I don't see it any different from other methods of meeting people, although an activity group or a social club may be more attuned to who you are and who you want to meet. I remember trying social clubs in my youth and not really enjoying it much, but mixed sports activities have proven to be quite profitable over the years in my own case.

In the end, the issue comes down to meeting as many available people as possible, and in that context, pretty well any method is good, and a matter of one's own attitude towards the event.
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 93
Speed Dating for Seniors
Posted: 1/8/2010 5:18:43 AM
^^^^I agree, however I would attend a speed dating event to see if my preconceived opinion is correct. I would attend POF events if they were nearby. From what I have seen the nearest ones seem to be several hours away. My experience has lead me to believe that men seem to think 30 minutes is too far to drive to see someone, so I doubt the men would drive 3 hours to see me if they live near where the event took place.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 95
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Speed Dating for Seniors
Posted: 1/8/2010 2:40:38 PM
I haven't and won't try speed dating for many of the reasons already posted about.

I did try single dances years ago. I was horrified by the man I saw, 20 yrs. older than the average women, tipsy or worse...................ew. I remember well this older guy drunkenly coming over to my table, saying to my friend and I "You pretty gals should be sit by the bathroom, so all the guys can get a good look at you". ............ew
 julyn10
Joined: 4/25/2009
Msg: 96
Speed Dating for Seniors
Posted: 1/8/2010 7:46:01 PM
speed dating?? I don't do anything speedy anymore...!!
 Free-At-Last
Joined: 7/15/2009
Msg: 98
Speed Dating for Seniors
Posted: 1/11/2010 2:27:01 PM
Speed Dating??? Hmmmm....could be interesting...
Only 3 minutes you say?
Well I would have to bring along my digital camera so I could take a picture of each man I met...as well as a notepad to jot down their names.
I couldn't possibly be expected to remember one from the other.....UNLESS it was NAKED Speed Dating!!
I'm sure I'd be able to pick out the most memorable men in that case.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 99
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Speed Dating for Seniors
Posted: 1/11/2010 2:38:43 PM

UNLESS it was NAKED Speed Dating!


Ha! One of women into kinky sex and guys that "shave", I see.....
 Free-At-Last
Joined: 7/15/2009
Msg: 100
Speed Dating for Seniors
Posted: 1/11/2010 2:54:10 PM

Ha! One of women into kinky sex and guys that "shave", I see.....

I don't have a clue what you're talking about sir. I was simply thinking it would be interesting to have these men strip down naked so I could see if they had any distinguishable birthmarks!
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 102
Speed Dating for Seniors
Posted: 1/11/2010 4:18:35 PM
^^^^ 3 minutes is a long time if someone is not attracted to someone's appearance and could never date them. Many seem to view physical attraction as the beginning or end of a possible relationship.
 clockwork lime
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 103
Speed Dating for Seniors
Posted: 1/11/2010 4:34:23 PM

^^^^ 3 minutes is a long time if someone is not attracted to someone's appearance and could never date them. Many seem to view physical attraction as the beginning or end of a possible relationship.

No, I think most people just view it as a beginning. Without physical attraction I would think the relationship would be a non-starter.
When we are already in love with someone it's easy to look beyond the merely physical, but when we have a bunch of options in front of us it's natural to gravitate towards the people we find more physically appealing.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 104
Speed Dating for Seniors
Posted: 1/11/2010 7:02:39 PM

How on earth would you be able to judge which guy you would like to get to know better in three minutes?


...Why, by his "distinguishing feature " of course.

Ya mean the meeting only lasts for three minutes? Kinda reminds me of my ex...just kidding, sorta.

...maeflowers
 Kranck
Joined: 11/30/2009
Msg: 105
Speed Dating for Seniors
Posted: 1/11/2010 10:08:57 PM
…well, there's nothing to say you couldn't arrange for another three minutes at another time… a sort of double-feature, if you please.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 106
Speed Dating for Seniors
Posted: 1/11/2010 10:42:19 PM

well, there's nothing to say you couldn't arrange for another three minutes at another time… a sort of double-feature, if you please



...A double feature. Six whole minutes....Nothing makes me happier than to know I'm getting my moneys worth. And beside I've heard that you make up your mind about a person within the first five minutes of meeting them.

...maeflowers
 Blue-Eyes-Shine
Joined: 11/26/2008
Msg: 107
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Speed Dating for Seniors
Posted: 1/11/2010 11:01:30 PM
Honestly, don't some of us wish a first meet had only lasted 3 minutes?
I had one first meet that I wished was over in 3 minutes! Thankfully it's only been one.
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