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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?      Home login  
Joined: 12/3/2007
Msg: 101
WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?Page 5 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
When I stop calling its becuase I feel there is nothing worth calling.
Sometimes its like I call this girl, and I like her, she might like me even, but on the phone its just not right. There are long pauses. not for thoughts or emotion, but long aqward pauses, where neiter one of us has anything to actualy say.

Or there have been girls that tell me to call. I call then its like BANG, Interogation time.
I say, hello, this is E from POF, you gave me your number,... And its like they prettending like they must give that number out to everyone. Thats fine, were all daiting here, but then its like interogation. Heaven forbid anyone not smoking crack may have every liked this girl im calling. Nope, Im not calling for sex, No, I dont sell drugs, or do them or... Yes, I did smoke weed, like 3 years ago, yes, I do have a job.... Um, I have to go. Try to be polite. But then its like ha ha! they go my number! eeek!

nah thats not you, thats nothing like what I read in your profile. Im just trying to say some people ca get along well in one medium and not an other. Maybe this guy doesn't like telephone conversations. Im not particularly fond of them. Who knows, I certainly dont. But I have observed that things never change without prior warning. I would guess there was some sign. I mean extended pauses, or a lot of um, err, ugh.... but i don't think so this guy sounds eloquent, like he got mad player skillz. Do you have any way to confirm that he has in fact not been hit by a bus or something?

there is unlimited room for speculation into reasons (mostly bad) that this guy broke it off. A reason might be what your looking for, but none of us can give that. maybe he was trying for your junk and met an easier babe, maybe he was married. Maybe the relationship wasn't going anywhere. Maybe some on there girl that was rejecting him for ages finaly let him in. maybe hes fallen from the face of the earth. Maybe the Italian mobster PaPa John is holding him hostage and forcing him to make crapy pizzas to pay off his cell phone bill.

If you ever get to chat with him again, I would negate the fact he hasn't called. He knows it and you know it. enjoy what you have while you have it. POOF!
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 102
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Posted: 1/26/2008 6:54:56 PM
Because he doesn't give a sh1t about you. Move on, we cannot worry about the people that do not appreciate us.
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 103
Posted: 1/26/2008 7:17:14 PM
I understand he doesn't give a shit about me and I will get over that but I do want my necklace back.....any ideas?
Joined: 6/4/2005
Msg: 104
Posted: 1/26/2008 11:27:28 PM
Well, there is a woman I have been seeing frequently and I told her I was uneasy about initiating all the calls and asked her to make the decision sometimes if she wanted us to get together and then she could call me occasionally instead of it always being up to me to call. Now I just don't hear from her. Oh well, c'est la vie.

In a world of people who respect each other not as prey but as persons with equal rights and equal dignity this thread would have the header "Why did he or she stop calling?" The old concept that women don't call men went out with the dinosaurs.
Joined: 1/11/2008
Msg: 105
Posted: 1/27/2008 1:23:55 PM
If I knew the answer to this question, I'd be a millionaire, have the bestselling novel of all time, be on Oprah giving advice, and basically take over the Dr. Phil show. Honey, forget him. He just lost interest. It is so sad that cowardice is such a disease among men. We all know men who say all the right things, the problem is they don't back the words up with actions.
Joined: 1/11/2008
Msg: 106
I understand he doesn't give a shit about me and I will get over that but I do want my necklace back
Posted: 1/27/2008 1:27:12 PM
about this new dilemma..are you sure this is not your way to see him again? Maybe he looked and has not found it, so sees no reason to get back to you. Anyway...he doesn't care about you so surely won't care about your necklace. Sorry, it's gone.
Joined: 2/18/2007
Msg: 107
Posted: 1/27/2008 2:58:55 PM


ARGH! "Through"? "Sadistic"?

I know people hate to have comments on their spelling/grammar, etc., but come on, folks! Let's at least make ourselves understandable and legible. Use spell-check.

GIVE ME A BREAK!!!!! the original post that you responded to was understandable! I hate ppl like you !!!


fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too.

i know tht i can read it
Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe can.

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

LMAO or rather Laugh my a$$ off

On subject
I am guilty of disappearing...letting it run its course and fade away, its easier than hurting another's feeling and feeling guilty for realizing they are not the one ... I wonder how many people will admit to that ???
I am sure i will get bashed for admitting to it too

Joined: 5/27/2007
Msg: 108
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Posted: 1/28/2008 11:07:01 AM
I always find it funny how women complain about this.
The problem is probably you wern't showing enough affection back so he just decided to cut his loses and move on. I always leave a week test period inbetween. If they don't call, text or whatever then they don't care and you should get out as quickly as possible. Women always complain that men don't show enough affection but the same goes in reverse. Women play the I'm interested but not really card all the time with guys. We aren't dogs and won't chase after you for too long.
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 109
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Posted: 1/28/2008 11:15:52 AM

I agree with you 150% (original post)

This happens with both men and women so we shouldnt stereotype.

No one knows why it happens....its one of those mysteries of the universe.


the necklace....send over a postage paid envelope and ask him to drop it in the mail for you. Or ask him to leave it in his mailbox or something so you can pick it up. This person has a problem with confrontation..He probubly feels the necklace is a trick to confront him and he will avoid this at all cost...It maybe Childish..but again..IT HAPPENS!
If you arrange so he wont feel threatened with confrontation I am sure he will be happy to make arrangements for you to get your necklace back..

Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 110
Posted: 1/28/2008 11:36:21 AM
"Hi! My name's you have a job? you own a car?...can u handle a challenge? Maybe we can talk. Looking to meet a man with morals (you know the things your Mom taught you?) Must be honest. Not looking for long term,just one day at time and see where it leads. Divorce should be final this year (after a 7 yr separation). One can never have too many friends and I am not looking to make enemies if things don't click. I have my eyzondaprize at the hoo!"

OK, let's see what you wrote here and go from there...

"Maybe we can talk"

Hmmm... Now there is a reason to 'chase' after a woman...

"Not looking for long term"

OK, well he followed that rule pretty well...

"Divorce should be final"

Self explanatory there... You don't want him married, but it's ok for you to be...

So what was the question again? Why did he stop calling?

You didn't want to settle down, and you are still married...

And I'll bet you kept the profile up while seeing him, right?

Shouldn't be too hard to figure out why he did what he did...

Just my $00.02 worth...
Joined: 1/2/2008
Msg: 111
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Posted: 1/28/2008 11:48:27 AM

the necklace....send over a postage paid envelope and ask him to drop it in the mail for you. Or ask him to leave it in his mailbox or something so you can pick it up. This person has a problem with confrontation..He probubly feels the necklace is a trick to confront him and he will avoid this at all cost...It maybe Childish..but again..IT HAPPENS!

Wise advice. I know sometimes I delay responding to emails..and then keep putting it off because I'd have to explain why I left it so long in the first place. This, I suspect, isn't entirely a guy thing, but we're best/worst at it. And just about everyone who isn't an a**oholic strays away from confrontation to a greater or lesser degree.

Some people in this thread have said he doesn't owe you anything. I disagree. If you've "been intimate", as you say, then there needs to be an explanation and it needs to be in person. And even if he comes back and says sorry, with the whole nine yards of chocolates and roses - would you still trust him?

Worst comes to worst - you may have to take him to small claims court (if you want to go that far.)

Joined: 7/29/2007
Msg: 112
Posted: 1/28/2008 11:59:06 AM
to the OP...

Women can never seem to grasp this concept. You ignored his emails until your feelings changed. You did not feel the need to explain the reason why you ignored his attempts to make contact. So after a certain point, your feelings changed and you responded.
Potentially his feelings also changed. He on the same note owes you nothing. Not even an explaination. He potentially got tired of stroking your ego and chasing you and went somewhere else.
If you 'liked him from hello' perhaps you should not have played games with im and been receptive to his attempts to contact you.

I couldnt have said it better...

Its amazing how all the other women have such good advice from a mans perspective, maybe you shouldnt try so hard to make a guy jump hoops for you next time.
Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 113
Posted: 1/28/2008 12:01:22 PM
well to be honest here with you all i emailed many of girls
on here and only got hav of there emails so if you would think
for a moment why are we still playing dome games on here why
dont we all take the risk to find out what the other persone is like .
thats the thing with some people on here they are to scard of geting
hurt so what if it happends one way or the other you will meet some one
nice and share alot of good memerys togather so get of your hight horse
and go find out what all the single people on here are all about
Joined: 11/3/2006
Msg: 114
Posted: 1/28/2008 12:38:42 PM
We seem to be having the same expirences with men-- you have hit the nail on the head--I keep hoping I will learn from my mistakes,-- when you figure out how to rewire your brain--PLEASE e-mail me so I can do the same!!
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 115
Posted: 1/28/2008 12:47:29 PM
Wow! I don't know what to say :) That was not the profile I had up when he contacted me. I changed it aftr we stopped talking and yes mine was up while I was seeing him, but so was his and he never quit reminding me how his 'favorites' list was growing. Although he would say he just ignored mine (favorites list). were right about the confrontation thing and the necklace - I never thought of that. I do not know what his address is - I never thought it would be necessary b/c I knew how to get there. He isn't looking to settle down either - when I suggested we take it day by day, he agreed. So I don't think my not wanting long term was an issue. He is an Aquarius and they need their space and freedom. I am an Aries....I fall quick and hard. He wanted perfection and I am not perfect. He isn't either but I fell for the way he made me laugh and made me feel special and he is genuinely a nice fella. A typical badboy Thanx for all the advice, believe it or not, it has really helped.
Joined: 7/26/2006
Msg: 116
Posted: 1/28/2008 1:40:20 PM
OP, you have received some good advise. The only possible answer that I don't think has been discussed is that the relationship he had with you is typical for him.
He finds someone that he enjoys....that he can have sex with and he enjoys it for a while and moves on. How else could he stay unmarried all this time. It is possible that he is not even
conscious of his relationship pattern. Or he could be a player and perfectly aware of how he is. Don't beat yourself up. I personally think that at 42 you are entitled to make your own
decisions about who you sleep with and when.......we all live by our decisions. We just have to own them.
Happy Fishing....
Joined: 1/5/2008
Msg: 117
Posted: 2/5/2008 9:59:39 PM
Ok Number 1: On what planet did women have it "good" in the old days? Seriously. Put aside the fairy tales about princesses and prizes...because they don't exist...hence the reason they were popular...because they were a massive departure from the reality that women and men will NEVER be equal. So get over yourself. Once again, men looking to blame some woman with some complicated explanation that has very little basis in reality.

Number 2: Why can't women EVER display vulnerability or need or desire or confusion without being called unstable or being accused of living in a fantasy world (kinda like the one where women and men are equal)?? Its like a lose/lose situation...we're cold bitter b***hes if we "man-up" and take life as it comes, and we're being called whiny princesses for requesting information about WHY someone we cared about disappeared.

If this had been just a "friend" who stopped calling you and couldn't be'd be obligated to report it to the law...but this guy is practically calling you irrational for wondering what you could have done to make this person stop calling you. But because you were dating, you're now bound by some unspoken "play it cool" rules that you're not supposed to call a guy or ask what the hell is going on without being called out for being "needy". tis teh ghey.
Joined: 1/5/2008
Msg: 118
Posted: 2/5/2008 10:11:54 PM
Call me JJ...

"conquered"...really??? Way to sum up the nature of all men everywhere in a few words.

By the way I'd like to point out that in a recent poll by Cosmo, the average woman only waits 2 weeks before consummating a new relationship, however flawed those stats are...Something to think about.

I'm still thoroughly confused about how making this freak wait for sex would have made her feel better when he left her anyway. She didn't like him because she had sex with him...she had sex with him because she already liked him...

So whether he left before having sex, or left afterwards...she'd have still felt pain when he stopped calling.

Maybe you're trying to say that this idiot would have had more respect for her had she made him wait to have sex and stayed around, but I'm sure you wouldn't think that seeing as how basing your respect for someone on how soon they have sex with YOU is not only d**k, but a$$backwards, I'm not even going to defend that arguing point. Who would want someone like that anyway?

Doesn't make any sense to me at all.
Joined: 1/5/2008
Msg: 119
Posted: 2/5/2008 10:14:15 PM
I don't think she ever said she didn't call him. In fact I think she made it abundantly clear that she did call him, and he ignored her...thus the confusion about why he stopped returning the calls.
Joined: 1/31/2008
Msg: 120
Posted: 2/5/2008 10:50:22 PM
Hi, im one of those guys who did the same thing to a woman. Let me explain, ok i was dating a woman from brooklyn things were going well we didn't have sex or anything just hanging out for about 3 months. then i met a younger woman from P.A. from the same town my dad lives in.I fell head over heals for the girl in P.A. The woman from brooklyn was so nice and sweet i didn't want to hurt her feelings by telling her i met someone els so i just stoped calling. I was so dum for doing that. The young girl in P.A. didn't give a rats ass about me just my gifts and all that good stuff so after 4 month of getting shit on by this young girl i gave up. I should have stayed with the girl from brooklyn she was the kind of woman i should have married who would have loved me no matter what. I guess what im saying is sum guys are afraid of hurting people feelings.I was just a big chicken. But i got what i dissevered the girl in brooklyn has a good man now. The girl in P.A. is still using men for money, And im the one who is stuck lonely looking for a good woman. But you know what they say "you learn from your mistakes" And girl did i ever. So i hope my little story may help you a little. One more thing one day this guy will realize what the hell did i do. I know i sure did. Take it one day at a time and keep looking.
Joined: 7/21/2006
Msg: 121
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Posted: 2/6/2008 5:29:34 AM
I t takes me 6 months or more get emitate with someone

What i been reading sounds like he used you get what he wanted i hate guys like that

Because it hurt another guys chance because she be to hurt to try again

I not very good typer or speller i figured i put my word in as well

Goodluck i hope you learn dont give to him right away when if i find my woman ill wait as well i want everything perfect between us so f it happneds it be special.

But far him let him go he wasnt worth it

 *~*Red Queen II*~*
Joined: 9/13/2006
Msg: 122
Posted: 2/6/2008 10:34:24 AM
Fotm: Your post took a lot of courage to admit to your mistake. I think your story/experience will help others understand why situations like this sometimes happen . Your honesty is appreciated, I'm sure. It seems you have learned your lesson and I wish you the very best on your search.

If anyone stops calling suddenly, take a look at the situation. Perhaps there was indeed some kind of emergency (medical, family, etc).

However, a person must follow thier "gut-instincts". If something is telling you that things are not adding up, I strongly advise that you find out exactly what the truth is and be brave enough to face it. You could save yourself a lot of heartache when you discover that truth.
Joined: 1/9/2008
Msg: 123
Posted: 2/6/2008 12:57:56 PM
Sometimes we just don't know why things happen....and that's okay... :) Just continue down your path. Did you learn something from the experience? We learn from every situation....

Keep plugging away....
Joined: 12/25/2007
Msg: 124
Posted: 2/6/2008 7:54:45 PM
Peristent guys can be flattering. So, he contacted you, talked to you a lot, and showed a genuine interest. Then he stopped writing. But, you ignored him at the beginning, and now you're basically writing him off instead of putting your big girl skirt on and ask him why he hasn't called. What some ladies fail to realize is that, while a guy doesn't need to be "chased", it still feels good when a woman takes an interest, and is willing to go the extra distance sometimes. Afterall, your guy would, right? Write the guy, and find out what happened. It may not be what you think, so don't think negative! Good luck!
Joined: 7/18/2007
Msg: 125
Posted: 2/9/2008 6:42:28 AM
The real kicker is when their profile states "no head games" and then they pull "the houdini". Isn't that a head game of sorts???LOL. I believe like others it's just easier for them. Either it's not a good relationship or perhaps it's all going great and it scares them. Either way, one day they will realize it and it will be too late. Cut your losses and move on. Never take it to heart!
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