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 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 82
Would you be in a poly relationshipPage 9 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
oooops I should proof read my posts, I meant I would never consider a poly relationship and for the same reasons I dont like to share.
 Laha Math
Joined: 7/15/2010
Msg: 83
Would you be in a poly relationship
Posted: 3/24/2011 6:45:22 PM
I've read that 95% of humans are superficial.
This site seems to attract the other 5%.

I've heard of fishermen who a have home in the south and another up the coast during the season. Truck drivers, sailors, commercial travelers and others can have the same arrangements. I don't know if that counts as polyamourous because they don't all get together to discuss and analyse the situation. It seems to work better if the women are separated whether or not they know about each other.
 namrael
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 84
Would you be in a poly relationship
Posted: 3/24/2011 8:43:58 PM

It seems to work better if the women are separated whether or not they know about each other.


That's less poly than cheating in most instances.

The best and most stables poly arrangements I know of are the ones where everyone gets along well socially. Often people really enjoy the company of their metamours, but if people can't at least get along with their partners' partners, it's likely to be problematic.

I've always done much better in poly situations where I've really known the other people involved.
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 85
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Would you be in a poly relationship
Posted: 3/29/2011 9:10:54 PM
ACP Writes: The O'Neill's book had three paragraphs discussing extra-marital sexual experiences that neither advocate or denied it as an aspect of their concept of Open Marriage. Their focus was on allowing space for each partner to grow, open communication and taking responsibility for one's self. All excellent practices within any relationship configuration. Further, they were married for 37 years. They're divorce had nothing to do with the premises of their book.


You are right in that the O'Neill's only wrote briefly about the possibility of non-monogamy but that is what everyone seized on. Really, their focus on couples giving each other room to be themselves was revolutionary at the time and still is for some people. However, many of us now take it for granted.

The legal questions brought up, if one were living in a situation with multiple partners and sharing possessions, are certainly significant. And if there are kids involved, it's another question. I don't know.


In another side of this, I've begun to suspect that there are big differences in the time of a person's life, as relates to these kinds of relationships.

I think you may be right on this. I'm open to possibilities now that I certainly wasn't when I was younger. Under the right circumstances, I might be open to the possibility. However, I don't see any potential prospects in my life so it's entirely theoretical.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 86
Would you be in a poly relationship
Posted: 3/30/2011 4:12:41 PM
^^^^^ that only applies if you're 100% celibate!
 Adam Taylor
Joined: 5/11/2006
Msg: 87
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Would you be in a poly relationship
Posted: 3/31/2011 8:10:08 AM
Yeah, sadly there's too many out there who don't see the difference between poly and cheating.

In a poly relationship, everyone is fully aware, and approves, of everyone else involved. There's no secrets, no sneaking around.

If there's any secrets or lies, then it's not poly, it's cheating.
 GotAHubCapDiamondStarHalo
Joined: 10/25/2009
Msg: 88
Would you be in a poly relationship
Posted: 3/31/2011 8:23:22 AM
What? Go poly? I doubt it. I am way too fond of natural fibers - my smooth cotton sheets, silk panties, linen dresses, etc.
 Phrendzs
Joined: 3/3/2005
Msg: 89
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Would you be in a poly relationship
Posted: 4/14/2011 12:44:18 PM
Great description and clean. I went to an event the other day to find out more information about Polyamoury. Interesting, as I am someone interested in trying new things for the experience. Not sure that I can rap my head around it thow.

When I was there I saw that Poly was like looking a friends with benefits, similar concept and yet the difference is that you agree to be in a committed relationship. I like the idea that all aspects of the relationship are talked about and is open. There is nothing hidden no surprises.

Why is it that we have been brought up in society to think that there in one person that will fulfill every need in our life.....?
 grizzelda
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 90
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Would you be in a poly relationship
Posted: 4/14/2011 1:05:53 PM

Why is it that we have been brought up in society to think that there in one person that will fulfill every need in our life.....?


Probably because the average person struggles as it is with a relationship with ONE person never mind multiples. I cant even begin to imagine having to be "there" for multiple spouses and any children that may come out of the realtionships. Personally I think it would be a very rare individual that could emotionally support that sort of a scenario.

I think that many people see a poly relationship in terms of what they get out of it and dont really put a lot of thought into what they need to bring to the party.....
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 91
Would you be in a poly relationship
Posted: 4/14/2011 2:42:07 PM
No way. I want to love one woman. I want that woman to love me. Any energy wasted in another person distracts, ads drama, complicates things, confuses things and does not resolves anything. So, no. One on one is the only thing that works for me.
 Red Fish GF
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 92
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Would you be in a poly relationship
Posted: 4/14/2011 3:42:16 PM

No way. I want to love one woman. I want that woman to love me. Any energy wasted in another person distracts, ads drama, complicates things, confuses things and does not resolves anything. So, no. One on one is the only thing that works for me.



I agree, one man is all I need. And I only want to be with some one that feels the same way.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 93
Would you be in a poly relationship
Posted: 4/14/2011 4:20:27 PM

Why is it that we have been brought up in society to think that there in one person that will fulfill every need in our life.....?

Not every one, everywhere is raised to think in terms of marriage, monogamy, and the confines of relationships built on the concepts that are common where we happen to reside geographically. I have to ponder the statistics when thinking in terms of monogamy because it doesn't seem to be working well:

Others operated under the system of infidelity as exhibited by many monogamous cultures high incidence of extra-martial sexual involvement. Recent conservative estimates are that 60% of men and 40% of women will have an extra-martial affair at some time in their monogamous marriage. Even if half of the women having affairs (20%) are married to men not included in the 60% having affairs, then at least one partner will have had an affair in approximately 80% of all marriages.

I am not poly-minded, nor am I anti-monogamy ~ but over the years, I've deemed myself a serial monogamist because the harsh reality has hit home for me. People cheat. I haven't done so in the past 20++ years, but it's happened to me. Oddly, it wasn't the cheating that was the demise of my marriage, it was the lies which surrounded the cheating. I even went so far as to suggest an open marriage. He declined. Makes no difference today, all these years later, but had he been paying attention, he could have had a loving/faithful wife at home that truly wasn't bothered by his having sex with others. **shrugs** Some people, maybe many people, according to statistics are just not meant to be with one person forever. (I know, all of those freshly-in-love people will attest they will never ever do something so terrible, but if 70-80% of all people are cheating, they are likely to feel the sting at some point in time.) I would much rather know up front if one is of the mindset that monogamy may or may not be their way to handle relationships. And I"d also like to be told if one is feeling that sex elsewhere is of interest. That gives me to option to stay or not. Maybe this is why gravitate towards lifestyles that are much more open-minded than "vanilla" situations. JMO
 TantricJedi
Joined: 2/22/2012
Msg: 94
Would you be in a poly relationship
Posted: 9/9/2012 5:21:09 PM
Depends. How many in the poly part of it?
 betteroffsingle
Joined: 7/24/2012
Msg: 95
Would you be in a poly relationship
Posted: 9/9/2012 5:42:54 PM
My ex wife engaged in this in her previous marriage. She let me know at the time of our separation after 11 years of marriage that she would have liked to continue such during our marriage. I'm one of those oddball guys who has no interest in such. I'm quite satisfied having one sexual partner. Had she mentioned wanting to do this at an earlier stage in our marriage it wouldn't have lasted 11 years.
 bikercouple5155
Joined: 9/21/2012
Msg: 96
Would you be in a poly relationship
Posted: 10/17/2012 9:11:36 AM
If it was mutual I would enjoy being in a poly relationship with another woman and/or man. There would be certain rules and boundaries like any other relationship but the potential for fun in all areas, not just the bedroom would be enticing and exciting.

Tobie
 Tanijaana
Joined: 2/3/2011
Msg: 97
Would you be in a poly relationship
Posted: 3/4/2013 7:37:01 PM
I've never been in anything BUT polyamorous relationships. I regard monogamy as a social construct and see no reason to engage in it. I've never had an STI, I've never engaged in group sex, all my partners have always known about each other, and I have never cheated. Being polyamorous is as intrinsic to my orientation as heterosexuality, and engaging in polyamorous behavior is how I express it.
 hotmerlot
Joined: 2/3/2013
Msg: 98
Would you be in a poly relationship
Posted: 3/4/2013 7:48:05 PM
No, I get irritated easily with just one guy around.
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 99
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Would you be in a poly relationship
Posted: 3/6/2013 2:31:50 PM
I would have a relationship with Poly - she's pretty nice........ ;-)
 BlokeInSydney
Joined: 5/7/2012
Msg: 100
Would you be in a poly relationship
Posted: 3/6/2013 2:40:28 PM

Not every one, everywhere is raised to think in terms of marriage, monogamy, and the confines of relationships built on the concepts that are common where we happen to reside geographically. I have to ponder the statistics when thinking in terms of monogamy because it doesn't seem to be working well:

Relationships take many forms in many parts of the world and there are plenty of couples who share themselves with others from time to time. There are also plenty of relationships involving more than just two people.

Some people live lives of quiet misery trying to conform to the expectations of others and the societies they live in.

The trick is to find the right person who's outlook in life aligns with your own.


Maybe this is why gravitate towards lifestyles that are much more open-minded than "vanilla" situations. JMO

Makes for a more interesting life I think GreenEyez. lol
 TuMuchFun
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 101
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Would you be in a poly relationship
Posted: 3/6/2013 3:10:46 PM
Would I be required to go shoe shopping with all of them or is one the designated the shopper for the group?
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 102
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Would you be in a poly relationship
Posted: 3/6/2013 5:05:38 PM

Would I be required to go shoe shopping with all of them or is one the designated the shopper for the group?


No, of course not. Just with the other guys.
 gogogo66
Joined: 2/4/2013
Msg: 103
Would you be in a poly relationship
Posted: 3/6/2013 5:21:31 PM
arkkkk,polly wants a cracker!
 _FishingForAMermaid_
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 104
Would you be in a poly relationship
Posted: 3/26/2013 10:20:14 AM
For sure ! But first, I have to be in a solo relationship. That is a challenge. A poly relationship... now that would be a really, really big challenge !!

(On a serious note, check out solopoly dot net for some more insights in this aspect of not so everyday living.)
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 105
Would you be in a poly relationship
Posted: 3/26/2013 7:32:04 PM
do you mean be with more than one person? like a relationship between three or more people? well, um, no i would not. there is no way.
 TuMuchFun
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 106
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Would you be in a poly relationship
Posted: 3/26/2013 7:34:17 PM
It does work for Hugh Hefner...
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