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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > what does a guy mean when he says "you deserve better"?      Home login  
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 kanyonatic
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 101
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what does a guy mean when he says you deserve better?Page 5 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
in a nut shell he doesn't want to commit and so if he says that he thinks he is being let off the hook and you'll look into his eyes and forgive him.....not i just go and find myself someone who actually is better and i did (thanks 'R')
 Unlike Dorothy
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 102
what does a guy mean when he says you deserve better?
Posted: 4/7/2008 9:47:38 PM
He means he is a player...he likes you...but knows he's bad news!!

 metalgal1
Joined: 4/2/2008
Msg: 103
what does a guy mean when he says you deserve better?
Posted: 4/8/2008 12:05:04 AM
Thats code word for "Im a weenie" and "I dont have the guts to tell you Im a weenie".

That statement is the kiss of death. Do not fall for it. I speak from experience on this one. When I hear a guy saying that Im gone


 prof48
Joined: 3/17/2005
Msg: 104
what does a guy mean when he says you deserve better?
Posted: 4/27/2008 3:39:08 PM
HongChina provided the context that should make it clear. Too many here are responding with their own baggage. The man indicated a time frame in which he could afford, or find vacation time to travel to china. That time frame meant that the relationship would see no development for several years. Relationships that are static slowly die and no one deserves that. He was telling her that he could not move the relationship forward at a level that she (or anyone for that matter) deserved. We can only speculate whether he wanted out, but long distance relationships are hard work and require effort to maintain them. He didn't think it fair to her, and probably not to himself, to carry on a long distance relationship for so long. He knew he couldn't do it.
 1samrap
Joined: 1/10/2008
Msg: 105
what does a guy mean when he says you deserve better?
Posted: 4/27/2008 3:43:02 PM
He's' married and telling you you really do deserve better.

Pick up the shattered pieces and move on.
 Ninth Inning
Joined: 1/27/2008
Msg: 106
what does a guy mean when he says you deserve better?
Posted: 4/27/2008 3:49:15 PM
Oooo good thread title OP...I think every woman has heard this line, met too, not long ago:

"You are too nice to me and you deserve better than what I give."

Yes please males, let's have y0ur take...your HONEST take...but it doesn't count unless you've actally said words like that yourself...tell us what your true thoughts were behind words of that nature??
 CuteChick4u
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 107
what does a guy mean when he says you deserve better?
Posted: 4/27/2008 3:50:44 PM
Well "one " of the reasons may be, "He's Just Not That into You"


 bjr1031
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 108
what does a guy mean when he says you deserve better?
Posted: 4/27/2008 3:55:53 PM
he's not interesed, but likes you enough that he doesn't want to hurt your feelings
 BowWow1
Joined: 4/9/2008
Msg: 109
what does a guy mean when he says you deserve better?
Posted: 4/27/2008 4:15:44 PM
This one is just "too easy". I've used those words, and had them used on me. Other expressions usually used synonymously with this one are, "You re too good for me"; and "You are way too nice for me or to me"; "You outclass me"; "You're way too kind - I don't deserve you"; and, of course, ultimately the "You deserve better".

These words are never funny. They are not compliments to you and "how great thou art". They are nice ways of saying, "I really don't love you."; "I really don't want you."; "You are moving far too deep into my space - I need my freedom. This was never supposed to get this serious!";"You've got me bored to death, drove, I have to get out of this, and, most of all, thank you for giving me this opportunity to get rid of you nicely by telling you that you deserve better, I'm really not worthy of you, and more than anything I wish you well and happiness."

Is there a nicer way to end a relationship?!! Bottom line is, "It is over, dead and gone, or going, and can't be saved. Unresolved issues don't matter. Talking further to see if you can make things better, or work things out, is like trying to force feed oxygen to a corpse. It's still dead. The person stating this wants out. The connection is not there. No matter what you do, you cannot resurrect it, or return it to it's best point. You cannot get someone to love you, or do anything to make them love you who just doesn't. That connection is not there for them. Sad, but true. Move on.
 Spoken For
Joined: 12/26/2007
Msg: 110
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what does a guy mean when he says you deserve better?
Posted: 4/27/2008 4:20:25 PM
I don't know what each individual guy means when he says that, but when he does? BELIEVE HIM. Even if he's telling you this with your best interests at heart (which it sounds like your guy is, he truly can't give you what is required to have a relationship at this time), he's right. You do deserve better.

However, this line is often used to get attention and to have his ego stroked while he's lying through his teeth to you...When he says this, he's probably telling you the only truth he ever has or ever will. Don't take as long to learn this as I did. When he says that, take his word for it, because it's probably true!
 smileee4u
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 111
what does a guy mean when he says you deserve better?
Posted: 4/27/2008 4:33:45 PM
He's really not that into you.... he isn't looking for your type, because you deserve better.
 smileee4u
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 112
what does a guy mean when he says you deserve better?
Posted: 4/27/2008 4:37:25 PM
RUN FOR THE HILLS!!!!
 danielmarkjarvis
Joined: 2/10/2008
Msg: 113
what does a guy mean when he says you deserve better?
Posted: 4/27/2008 6:09:46 PM
he is lazy and doesnt want the trouble
 blue eyes2701
Joined: 2/20/2007
Msg: 114
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what does a guy mean when he says you deserve better?
Posted: 4/29/2008 4:21:40 PM
gee's this was an insitefull conversation you are hitting the nail on the head and i didn't see thing's this way before .and now your saying did she just craw out from under a rock ,wake up.but you know i was with my husband since i was 15 i married at 17 and was as i thought in a loveing relationship for 26 yrs ,untill he got himself a girl friend.it seem all the rules of dateing have changed, people say one thing and mean another , i am truthfull and expect the same in return .it is hard to put oneself out there at the age of 49 trying to find a new love and i do want someone to grow old with to love me and share what ever life brings joy's and sorrow's.your statement say's it all in a nut shell thank's for the insite from a man's point of view.
 devuchka
Joined: 4/19/2008
Msg: 115
what does a guy mean when he says you deserve better?
Posted: 4/29/2008 5:09:45 PM
he knows she would never stay with him if she knew what he was REALLY like...
 MelloDLyn
Joined: 10/25/2004
Msg: 116
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what does a guy mean when he says you deserve better?
Posted: 4/29/2008 6:48:16 PM
It means he is not interested in anything more than friends.
 bathurstman08
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 117
what does a guy mean when he says you deserve better?
Posted: 5/27/2008 9:06:19 PM
ya like someone else said it means that hes either not interested or he has find someone else.and its his way to let u go politely.
 bacalao
Joined: 5/2/2008
Msg: 118
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what does a guy mean when he says you deserve better?
Posted: 5/27/2008 9:08:47 PM
that means he ashamed of himself for playing iwth your feelings
 tinydancer123
Joined: 3/3/2007
Msg: 119
what does a guy mean when he says you deserve better?
Posted: 5/27/2008 9:13:54 PM
Not everyone is willing to go across countries to be with someone. Emigration is a big deal, I've done it.It's a huge effort for a high risk relationship. I would take it to mean it's an impossible relationship and you deserve someone closer. Ask him? If that's what he means he's being considerate. Maybe he doesn't think you'd want to go through all the expense and hassle, upheaval, leaving family and a job and all that etc to meet someone from another county. And maybe he thinks you would not think enough of him in person to follow through anyway. Some people would but lots if not most would not.

It's possible something else is going on but use your gut and figure it out.
 TxSippiGal
Joined: 9/30/2007
Msg: 120
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what does a guy mean when he says you deserve better?
Posted: 5/27/2008 9:17:56 PM
I think bullilover hit the nail on the head.. she said that he had some things in his life that weren't quite right.. things that he can't change or is unwilling to change and he feels like a dirt bag because you have been talking for so long.

So.. believe him.. my friend.. and go on your way..

Had a guy tell me that just last month.. he had some serious issues come up in his life.. indicating in my view he needs to make some major changes.. so I politely said.. and smiled "yes I am too good for you.. have a nice life.. and nice knowing you".
 Louder than Love
Joined: 12/26/2007
Msg: 121
what does a guy mean when he says you deserve better?
Posted: 5/28/2008 12:08:50 AM
I agree with tinydancer123! I met a gal online 5 years ago, she lived about as far away from me as one could. I told her she deserved better.........because I wasn't willing to leave my, job, and kids. I find it ironic all the negative explanations that were given to this thread.

Downer-Debbie Waa Waa Waaaaaaaa
 Meowkatt1
Joined: 5/13/2008
Msg: 122
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what does a guy mean when he says you deserve better?
Posted: 5/28/2008 12:16:42 AM
It's so you don't think he was just using you until someone better came along. It's an easy out for him.
 angelsomewhat
Joined: 5/19/2008
Msg: 123
what does a guy mean when he says you deserve better?
Posted: 5/28/2008 7:55:35 AM
My opinion....it means he's trying to give you a hint and without hurting your fellings he's say IM NOT INTO YOU... MOVE ON!!!
 naturegal1953
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 124
what does a guy mean when he says you deserve better?
Posted: 5/28/2008 9:52:03 AM
I think it means you should forget him and get on with life.
 Sabrosura
Joined: 8/1/2007
Msg: 125
what does a guy mean when he says you deserve better?
Posted: 5/28/2008 10:01:34 AM
He is either telling you in a "nice way" that he is not interested in more than what you have shared. - OR - He is not good for you and may break your heart.
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