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Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 50
Guy takes four days to respond?Page 2 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

Actually I can't believe no one has pointed this out yet. Everyone is so quick to judge him and throw him to the curb. I bet most of the women telling you to dump him now are all single and wished they had a recent date.

Not with a guy who doesn't respond to you in 4 days^^^. I would rather be single then to deal with the childish games.
Joined: 10/15/2006
Msg: 52
Guy takes four days to respond?
Posted: 1/30/2008 6:45:05 AM
If you are both looking for the same thing it should not take him 4 days. Dump the guy before you even get started. Just my opinion.
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 54
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Guy takes four days to respond?
Posted: 1/30/2008 8:42:01 AM
Geeeezzzz, come on!!! This is NOT rocket science. The issue is NOT how many days it takes to respond to email. It's NOT that she's pushy, and it's NOT that he's a bad guy. They're just not synchronously geared for goodness sakes.

The woman made a decision....she wants to see him again. He wants to make a decision....but first he has to analyze the crap out of it before he can commit to a simple "YES, or NO" answer. He's SAID that he's "very interested"....but he can't decide what to do with that decision. I totally agree with
If you are both looking for the same thing it should not take him 4 days. Dump the guy before you even get started. Just my opinion.
If it takes him 4 days to decide on going to a movie on such and such a day at such and such a time.....JUST IMAGINE what it would be like if you were every jointly responsible for deciding to buy a car, a house...or have children!!!!

Some people move too fast, and others don't move at all. Neither way makes anyone a bad person, but you'd better recognize those potentially annoying traits before you enter into a relationship.....because they're highly unlikely to change.
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 55
view profile
Guy takes four days to respond?
Posted: 1/30/2008 8:55:33 AM
Why don't you just ask him. If the question sends him running you probably don't need the person in your life. If his answer sends you running....

Life will not end if you don't have any meaningful relationship with this guy so you could save yourself a lot of hand-wringing if you just ask the guy if he is really interested because while people are busy, four days after you have actually been on a couple of dates is pretty lame, and why no phone? Ask him that too.

Grandma makes a good point because if the guy decided on opening that e-mail to go to a movie, he would have said I would love to, I am busy and will get back with you to finalize plans, not take four days to respond.
 dogs rule
Joined: 10/12/2007
Msg: 56
Guy takes four days to respond?
Posted: 1/30/2008 9:06:51 AM
He could be a nice guy not wanting to push things to quick. You have only hugged and gave him a peck. Make the first move and give him a romantic kiss. Also try calling him to ask him out instead of waiting for an email. I don't always answer emails right away either. Sometimes when I am busy, I don't have time to write everything I want in an email so it sits till I remember to do it.
Oh wait, I should be answering my emails instead of posting in here!

Don't hint anything. If you want a man to know something come out and tell him or ask him. Just cause you think its a clear hint that we men should get, we don't think the same as you and you may not like the results. Simply cause we didn't understand the hint.
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 60
Guy takes four days to respond?
Posted: 1/30/2008 9:51:21 AM
4 days isn't a big deal. Maybe he does have a busy social life. Maybe he is seeing other women. Remember this is just 2 dates, not a serious relationship yet.
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 61
Guy takes four days to respond?
Posted: 1/30/2008 10:13:18 AM
If someone is really into you, they'll make time. Even if its just a quick email to say 'sorry i'm really busy'.

Not always. Some people can very busy with work, family, and other issues and have very limited free time. A woman that I went out with twice wouldn't be on the top of my priority list even if the dates went reasonably well. Family, close friends, and maybe business associates would be. If I was dating a woman for a while, then she would be one of the my most important contacts. Some people might have very limited or no email access for a few days.

I reckon he's probably playing the field and dating other girls too, have you asked him that?

Even if he was, that's not a bad thing. It was just 2 dates, not a committed relationship.

Joined: 11/7/2005
Msg: 65
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Guy takes four days to respond?
Posted: 1/30/2008 1:27:55 PM
I agree with post 20......must be something in the water!! Come on guys, if you aren't interested just say so.........sorry OP, I agree with most posters, he just isn't into you, if he was you would know! Keep fishing and good luck!
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 66
Guy takes four days to respond?
Posted: 1/30/2008 2:21:32 PM
You're only hurting us by keeping us in limbo

No you are allowing yourself to be hurt.
I'm sure that this man is out there dating his ass off and having his cake and eating it too...

HELLO?? Why don't you do the exact same thing! He has your phone number and email,right?
In the matter of the original topic I believe I read that this footdragging slowpoke who probably isn't into her DID agree to another date. I also seem to recall that these folks had had just a couple of actual in person meeting or dates. He may still be mulling over the connection and it's degree of significance. I'm told there ARE still men on the planet who don't fall d*ck over head in love at first sight.

I think that getting her knickers in a twist over not having a call returned for 4 days over a weekend, this early in the involvement, makes the OP look insecure, controlling and desperate. She might well not have to "dump" the guy, I think she's fixin' to scare him off.
Now if this couple becomes more involved and he continues these long silences, then there might be cause for concern.
Cindy O
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 67
Guy takes four days to respond?
Posted: 1/30/2008 2:38:07 PM
OK, I read back thru the entire thread, and I can't freakin believe it,
We're asleep at the wheel, fallin' down on the job here, folks. We need to pull up our socks and somebody needs to say...( drum roll) wait(drum roll) wait for it;(drum roll)
I mean does she KNOW FOR A FACT that this is his home phone #? Maybe it's a cell phone or his work phone or some kind of voicemail/message center? So maybe what he was busy with was keeping his wife from catching him and yanking the leash back up short.
Sorry folks, it was dirty job that somebody had to do, so I brought it up.

Cindy O
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 68
Guy takes four days to respond?
Posted: 1/30/2008 3:31:53 PM

Will you marry me?




Thank you, PoF, this is a great site, but I'm going to have to leave because just met the man of my dreams today at 4:15 pm. It's 4:32 pm now, and I cannot believe how happy in love I STILL AM with this man...
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 69
Guy takes four days to respond?
Posted: 1/30/2008 3:51:38 PM
Cassa and Arlo
Congratulations, may your blessings be many and all your troubles be little ones.
Cripe I had somebody here propse to ME the other day but I can't remember his name...oh jeez a PoF "senior moment"
Cindy O
Edit; ah well he's another forum forager...I'm sure we'll be seeing a thread..."I proposed to her 4 days ago and she's already forgotten my name."
Cindy O
Joined: 9/24/2007
Msg: 71
Guy takes four days to respond?
Posted: 1/31/2008 6:10:38 AM

My guess is that he's just not that into you. I could be wrong, of course. There may be plenty of reasons, including a broken heart. At least he's not saying "No". My advice? Keep your options open.
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 73
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Guy takes four days to respond?
Posted: 2/5/2008 5:06:27 AM
Message 77: He quotes the OP.
He replied back that he's "very interested" in seeing a movie and said "I did get your email on Friday. Sorry I've been slow to respond, but it was kind of a busy weekend. "

This is where the annoyance factor comes in. I'll admit, I'm an impatient person. However, I'm ALSO very busy - I work full time and I'm a grad student. I "KNOW" busy.... but I believe if something's important, you make time for it.

HE comments:
It's good that you're revealing your Control Freak attitude right off the bat: you get full points for honesty.

Should make it easy for him to dump your Drama-Luvin' Self.

This comment makes me so very glad that I've just encountered the same situation today so I can cut and paste the emails here. (Usually I delete them and block the drama lovers) Here we go:

POF guy writes to me on
1/30/2008 851 AM
...congratulating me for a very direct profile, knowing what I want and not being afraid to state it....yada, yada, yada. I responded at
1/30/2008 10:06:35 AM
. Just a friendly "Hi, how are you, yes, I looked at your profile, let's talk".....blah, blah, blah crap.

Now, yesterday.....while I up to my neck trying to get my taxes done among a few dozen other projects that I'd been putting off for weeks....I get a call that that my Mother is in the Emergency Room....they think she had a heart attack....but she's fine now....just waiting for the doctor to come NIC card blows up....lost internet connection so I'm digging around in my box of spare computer parts looking for one I knew I'd saved out of an old computer....long as I have the box open, I might as well clean some of the dust out of here (still waiting on the phone to ring to let me know what's going on with my mother)...needless to say...Yesterday was one helluva day. But finally....6 days later (and right as my computer took it's dump) I read the following email:
2/4/2008 710 AM sorry about delay , had train show to go to in indiana , my giants in some football game over weekend would love to talk know more
He also includes a Yahoo address. Ok soon as I've finished handling all the more pressing matters that I'm dealing with (yesterday) I'll add him to my messenger and we can talk. Ohhhhh, well.....First thing this morning....I get the following:
2/4/2008 1024 AM sorry you were not interested my loss god bless and best of luck in your search
3 HOURS?????? The man takes 6 days to respond to an initial email that he started....and then chastises ME for taking 3 freaking HOURS to respond???? Note: he doesn't ask if there might have been some REASON....he doesn't CARE about anyone's reasons....except his OWN.

The point here is NOT how long it takes for someone to respond to anything. The POINT is....that people who YOU call "drama loving selves" continually get treated in this way by people who think that the whole world has nothing better to do than to WAIT on them!

What the OP is talking about is that SHE is ALSO busy....she ALSO has a life and all the little annoyances that hinder us from arranging OUR schedules to accommodate those who believe that others should jump and run everytime they bark. The entire problem with those who SAY they're interested.....but don't ACT as if they're because.....they're NOT interested enough, and they VERY RARELY ever consider that OTHER people also have things to do. Those who are usually the busiest......ARE the busiest...... BECAUSE we are responsible and considerate about NOT keeping others waiting for unreasonable periods of least not without getting back to them saying....hey, I'm acknowledging you, I'm just really swamped right now.

I suggest to you that the OP is NOT the "drama loving" one.....the person who keeps others waiting and then expects them to drop everything and comearunnin when they yell is the drama lover. The one kept waiting is NOT the "control freak"......she (or he) is doing nothing more than attempting to juggle a full schedule....that the REAL "control freak" (the better late than never person) is trying to manipulate.
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 77
view profile
Guy takes four days to respond?
Posted: 2/5/2008 3:24:45 PM
Sometimes people get busy. I know I do. Develop your own interests rather than sitting around waiting for your telephone to ring.
Joined: 1/31/2008
Msg: 78
Guy takes four days to respond?
Posted: 2/5/2008 3:35:54 PM
I think you might be over-reacting a little and I think the rest of us are over-analyzing. I will say that it seems strange that you say you have "a really good connection" yet conduct all your communication via email...IMO, email is the least effective means of building intimacy - all the nuances of non-verbal communication are lost. In person is best, telephone is a distant second.

4 days to respond to an email - or phone call - is not really that long; especially if you've only had two dates! There are a lot of dating advice books telling men to never call sooner than 3 days. Perhaps he's over-analyzing, too, and has picked up the phone a dozen times to call you, only to tell himself "no, it's too soon."

No one is qualified to judge how busy someone else is or isn't. It's like saying "Oh, I've been sick before and I know all about being sick. You say you don't feel well, but you aren't sick". What a presumption!

Bottom line is that you should be open and honest with him. Tell him that you know you're an impatient person, that you like him and want to continue seeing him, and that when it takes him more than X amount of time (whatever your acceptable time frame is. 5 minutes?) to respond to you, it makes you feel as if you aren't a priority for him. And then just hear what he has to say. By the way, this conversation should NOT take place via email - it should be face-to-face - if you're truly interested in a relationship and building intimacy with this guy.
Joined: 7/14/2006
Msg: 79
Guy takes four days to respond?
Posted: 2/12/2008 10:16:13 AM
I think twice a week would be great!!

I think it's the guys who you can't see more than twice a month or who take days to respond or contact you that are the problem.

If a guy takes more than a day to get back to me...or takes days to contact me....without a legit reason.....I just move on.

Everyone is busy these days.
But we make time time for what is important to us!!
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 80
Guy takes four days to respond?
Posted: 2/12/2008 6:02:05 PM
He's probably not that into you. Give it a few more days (and let him make the next move) and you'll know for sure.

Happened to me once too. The guy said he was really interested (sure acted like it) then promptly blew me off lol.
Joined: 1/5/2008
Msg: 82
Guy takes four days to respond?
Posted: 2/12/2008 8:06:01 PM
Seems to me that he is not very interested in you and he is not sure how to tell you..He probably is afraid of hurting your feelings...Just my guess!
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 88
Guy takes four days to respond?
Posted: 4/6/2008 3:08:01 PM
If he is that slow while dating, then he is dating other people as well.
Joined: 4/30/2010
Msg: 89
Guy takes four days to respond?
Posted: 6/4/2010 10:28:20 AM
This is crazy. Clearly, as with everything,
everybody has different expectations, rules and habits.

Some women get scared if a man answers too fast. I particularly like that.

I think the following two questions should be right in the profile:

1 how often are you willing to contact someone you are interested in?
A. Several times a day
B. Once a day
C. Every 2 days
D. Every 3 days
E. Once a week
F. When I don't have anything else to do

2 how often do you expect to be contacted by someone interested in you
A. Several times a day
B. Once a day
C. Every 2 days
D. Every 3 days
E. Once a week
F. I don't care

This way everybody knows what message they are sending. Nobody is overwhelmed
Nobody feels neglected
Joined: 12/13/2005
Msg: 91
Guy takes four days to respond?
Posted: 6/6/2010 12:39:10 AM
I'm sure it's been said, but if you've been on 2 dates, why only communicate via email? Isn't that taking a step backwards? It takes me awhile to email people back, but if we've actually met, I expect them to call or at least IM instead of email.
Also, someone says they're too busy, etc, they aren't interested. If they were, they'd make time. A guy gives me that lame old line I just think, "Well, that person is an idiot with bad taste, better set up my dates with whoever else I'm talking to. Maybe the next one will actually be worthy."
Joined: 3/15/2013
Msg: 92
Guy takes four days to respond?
Posted: 7/17/2013 7:35:42 PM
I personally do not like to communicate every day. It is tiring and the whole thin gets old very fast. I like to take my time, to take things slow. I never respond right away unless it is a true emergency. I respond 2-3-4-5+ days later. It is not that I do not like you, I could be crazy obsessing over you 24/7 and such intense feelings stop me from writing you back right away. I need to come to my sences, to calm down, to regain self control. I'm afraid to get carried away, I'm scared, I do not want to get attached and hurt, I'm observing, I'm taking my time, I'm cautious, I'm watching your reaction.
And here comes interesting part: if you emails me 5 emails per day even though I never responded to any of them -you will be discarded. If you email right away - it is ok, but don't expect me to respond right away. Just do not spam my inbox. If you delay your responses the way I do - I LOVE IT.
Joined: 6/8/2013
Msg: 93
Guy takes four days to respond?
Posted: 7/18/2013 11:59:03 AM
Um 2 dates, and patience is a virtue; If waiting is going to be a problem communicating through email...... Is your phone childproof?
Joined: 6/23/2013
Msg: 94
Guy takes four days to respond?
Posted: 7/18/2013 9:19:58 PM
With technology the way it is, four days to respond is too long. Guys do what they want. Guys reveal themselves with their actions. Guys are simple. This is not a negative statement, on the contrary.
Four days to respond= not interested=simple. NEXT..... :)
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