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 Mark_It_Up
Joined: 3/15/2011
Msg: 95
Guy takes four days to respond?Page 3 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
WOW epic threadnaught!
You guys do realize this thread is 6 years old, right?! I don't think the OP is looking for responses any more.
Stop posting else I'll have to play the Thread Necromancer card on y'all!
 Kellticman72
Joined: 1/5/2013
Msg: 96
Guy takes four days to respond?
Posted: 7/19/2013 5:53:00 AM
So a guy takes it slow at dating, which seems to be what most women want, and he is accused of not being interested. A guy moves faster and tries to make a move and then all he wants is sex. Guys cant win for lose. Why don't you give him an ultimatum and see what he does?
 Mark_It_Up
Joined: 3/15/2011
Msg: 97
Guy takes four days to respond?
Posted: 7/19/2013 6:00:15 AM
I don't think giving him an ultimatum will work. It's now been 6 years since he last messaged her. It's a fairly safe bet that either he's not interested, or they're married with kids by now.
 theusmale
Joined: 6/29/2013
Msg: 98
Guy takes four days to respond?
Posted: 7/21/2013 10:34:44 AM

Fluer if i had a good looking girl like yourself emailing me for a date there would be no way i would wait 4 days, that more than enough time for someone else to make a move.


- That says it all. Are you listening? People who are sane and have a good attitude and who are attracted to you, what you need for a happy and healthy long term relationship, REPLY to a message within 24 hours.
 BorderCollieMix
Joined: 7/4/2013
Msg: 99
Guy takes four days to respond?
Posted: 7/21/2013 12:12:54 PM
Four days and someone I am very interested in? "Sorry--I was hiking in New Mexico and we couldn't get a signal. . ." or whatever the TRUTH was that made a quick reply impossible.

Four days and someone I'm not [yet, perhaps] all that interested in? "How are you? I had a great weekend with my family and was glad to see your message when I settled down to answer my email, finally."

Four days and someone I'm rather "meh, take-it-or-leave-it" about? "Sorry; busy weekend. . . ."

Four days and someone I'm not interested in? " "

I know the thread is years old, but the powers that be do not want us to start a new thread. Perhaps I'll start one about "Three days, 23 hours, and 59 minutes before a reply. . . "
 TuMuchFun
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 100
view profile
History
Guy takes four days to respond?
Posted: 7/22/2013 3:43:14 PM
I'll be back to post a comment here in 4 or 5 days or so.
 J_BigHorse
Joined: 7/17/2013
Msg: 101
Guy takes four days to respond?
Posted: 7/22/2013 5:16:11 PM
When I met my 1st wife & my current gf, I didn't want to wait even 4 hours, so that some other guy could get an opportunity.
A man who really is into a woman wants to be with her, period.
If you were my sister I'd tell you to find someone else who appreciates & values you.
 drivingharmony2
Joined: 6/23/2013
Msg: 102
Guy takes four days to respond?
Posted: 7/22/2013 6:57:04 PM
^^^^^^^I love the above response! Sounds great to me!!
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 103
Guy takes four days to respond?
Posted: 7/22/2013 7:12:59 PM
I break contact for more than four days often, especially early on in a relationship. I don't understand why people are in such a hurry.

To me, when someone can't wait four days to hear from someone, what they are really saying is they have no life and they're hoping to get one through someone they just met.
 drivingharmony2
Joined: 6/23/2013
Msg: 104
Guy takes four days to respond?
Posted: 7/22/2013 7:35:07 PM
^^^^^I disagree with the above. Just because people want contact within a certain time frame does not mean a person has no life.....get real.... You make it sound like someone wants to be joined at the hip. The way technology is today, there is really no reason, contact cannot be made, especially within 4 days. A text, a phone call, an email....it can be short and sweet....whatever it may be, just some form of contact. It doesn't have to be daily or lengthy, just something to show you are thinking of the other person. I don't think this is too difficult....?
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 105
Guy takes four days to respond?
Posted: 7/22/2013 8:04:44 PM

^^^^^I disagree with the above. Just because people want contact within a certain time frame does not mean a person has no life.....get real.... You make it sound like someone wants to be joined at the hip. The way technology is today, there is really no reason, contact cannot be made, especially within 4 days. A text, a phone call, an email....it can be short and sweet....whatever it may be, just some form of contact. It doesn't have to be daily or lengthy, just something to show you are thinking of the other person. I don't think this is too difficult....?


Why does it have to go directly from being complete strangers to we can't go four days without some form of contact? What's the rush?
 justlookingvt
Joined: 5/8/2010
Msg: 106
Guy takes four days to respond?
Posted: 7/22/2013 8:18:35 PM


Why does it have to go directly from being complete strangers to we can't go four days without some form of contact? What's the rush?


rush ?... there is no rush. It's only a matter of knowing what you want and, when something looks like it might very well be that, being assertive about it instead of wasting everyone's time "pondering" what the next move should be. Wait four days for what ???



If you were my sister I'd tell you to find someone else who appreciates & values you.


That is great advice. No only should the guy value her, she is better off with a guy that knows what he is doing and doesn't waste four days trying to figure it out.
 TuMuchFun
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 107
view profile
History
Guy takes four days to respond?
Posted: 7/22/2013 8:23:16 PM
Has it been 4 days yet? Well I would say 4 days in AOK if both parties are in the 4 day mode. If one is and one is not it you will need to find one that matches your time frame needs. If I have a question (sometimes time is critical) or a fun chat I would prefer not to wait 4 days for a response so it would be a problem for me.
 drivingharmony2
Joined: 6/23/2013
Msg: 108
Guy takes four days to respond?
Posted: 7/22/2013 9:42:57 PM
To Paderic: With all due respect, I refer you back to the info placed in your box. If two people are interested in each other, it's not about "rushing." It's about getting to know each other so you aren't complete strangers anymore....

To justlookingvt: Excellent response!

To TuMuchFun: You said you're ready to vacuum? Is your French maid outfit clean?
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 109
Guy takes four days to respond?
Posted: 7/23/2013 5:48:29 AM
People aren't all alike. Not everyone feels a need to be in constant contact, especially early in a relationship. Some people prefer to wade in, others like to dive in without checking the water.

I have to admit, though, that if someone is inclined to assume the worst simply because I took four days to reply to an email, they weren't the right person for me anyway. I'm thankful that I've met someone who isn't like that.

Getting to know people isn't a waste of time even if it doesn't turn out how you might have wished.
 drivingharmony2
Joined: 6/23/2013
Msg: 110
Guy takes four days to respond?
Posted: 7/23/2013 6:15:40 AM
^^^^^^Absolutely correct, people aren't all alike. If they were, it would be a very boring place, especially here on forums. However, just because people like consistent contact does not mean they are diving in without checking the waters. Different strokes for different folks....Geez, haven't heard that one lately....I just aged myself.... yikes!
=====
and you know what Paderic! I agree with your other two statements! :)
 NewYorkFan1
Joined: 6/30/2013
Msg: 111
Guy takes four days to respond?
Posted: 7/23/2013 6:26:39 AM
If I meet someone I am interested in, why would I wait 4 days to respond to an email or text that she has sent me. Or why would I wait 4 days to contact her at all. I think that would just show a total disinterest in that person.
And I wouldn't expect her to just sit around for a few days waiting to hear from me. I would expect her to be back in the pond nibbling and sampling other bait. And finding someone else that shows more interest in her.
As for being too busy to communicate, I bet most people still find enough time to still be logging into their POF accts to see what else is lurking in the waters. As what said earlier, with all our technology that we all have, it takes only a couple minutes of our time to communicate with someone and let them know we are genuinely interested in them.
 Whisky_River
Joined: 9/12/2010
Msg: 112
Guy takes four days to respond?
Posted: 7/23/2013 6:35:21 AM
IMO...At the beginning of a relationship...If there is a mutual interest...I don't understand "why" you would not pursue.
That doesn't mean...endless text messages or phone calls...just a good morning e-mail even...
If you haven't got time to even do that...then maybe, you shouldn't be dating....
I like people that have "passion" and that has nothing to do with "sex"....err..well. not in this scenario...

Yes, the minds of others is exactly the reason "why"....you should error on the side of "attention".....or consideration.
I don't know any women that wouldn't... like to hear and know if a man is thinking of her.(unless she is not interested)
If a man....doesn't have the interest to contact me....within a couple of days of a first meet.....he's just not that into me...imo.
I would assume...I have been put on a back burner and shrug and move on....
Put it this way....The first thing both people need to know about each other
-Is if there is a mutual interest..right?
Now if you don't contact me within 4 days....to me that shows little interest or game playing...again..imo.
 35brock
Joined: 3/20/2013
Msg: 113
Guy takes four days to respond?
Posted: 7/23/2013 6:52:48 AM
If it happened once, I would give the other person benefit of the doubt for now. Instead of assuming that they weren't that interested or they are playing games. Perhaps they had cell phone problems, they were sick, they wanted to respond earlier and simply forgot etc
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 114
Guy takes four days to respond?
Posted: 7/23/2013 7:23:32 AM
I do think people rush into relationships and the divorce rate is a pretty good indicator of that.


<div class="quote">If you haven't got time to even do that...then maybe, you shouldn't be dating....


Frankly, I find this notion that people who don't conform shouldn't be dating to be rather insulting. Maybe they shouldn't be dating YOU, but that doesn't mean they shouldn't be dating at all.


<div class="quote">I don't know any women that wouldn't... like to hear and know if a man is thinking of her.(unless she is not interested)


I know one (and I've known others). In fact, she seems to appreciate not being smothered.
 drivingharmony2
Joined: 6/23/2013
Msg: 115
Guy takes four days to respond?
Posted: 7/23/2013 7:41:59 AM
^^^^^^^I don't agree with your assessment regarding divorce rate being higher
because people rush into relationships. A blanket statement like that doesn't fly.
I was with my ex for 4 years prior to getting married. Ahhhh, but you probably think
we got married too soon??? :)
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 116
Guy takes four days to respond?
Posted: 7/23/2013 7:51:07 AM
When I was single, I multi-dated, so my schedule filled up pretty quickly. If a man waited four days before contacting me again, I often had other plans lined up, and couldn't see him again that week.

The indifferent men faded away; those that were truly interested in me made more of an effort to contact me sooner next time.
 Whisky_River
Joined: 9/12/2010
Msg: 117
Guy takes four days to respond?
Posted: 7/23/2013 7:52:33 AM
paderic


Frankly, I find this notion that people who don't conform shouldn't be dating to be rather insulting

Get your heckles up all you want...it's my opinion..

Did....you miss in my post...

IMO


imo


again..imo




I know one (and I've known others). In fact, she seems to appreciate not being smothered

Good for you...If you both think it's "smothering" to talk to each other everyday...you have found your match!
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 118
Guy takes four days to respond?
Posted: 7/23/2013 9:16:40 AM
Ahhhh, but you probably think
we got married too soon??? :)


Nice strawman argument. I don't know you or your ex, but I do think many people rush into relationships with blinders on and don't pause to think whether they are a good match until after they are married.

If you all want to assume that any break in communication means the other person isn't interested in you, that's really no skin off my nose. I just thought I'd chime in to provide another perspective on the question. At the end of the day, you've learned that you weren't compatible with this person and you went your separate ways. I call that a win-win.

By the way, my "heckles" are not up.

That's all I have to say, now I shall abide by forum rules...
 justlookingvt
Joined: 5/8/2010
Msg: 119
Guy takes four days to respond?
Posted: 7/23/2013 11:56:25 AM




Is he doing this on purpose?


Unless there is something preventing him from being in touch for a period of four days, he is doing it on purpose. Most likely he is pretending to be busy in a self aggrandizing effort. If he had a reason and he was interested in you, he would have mentioned what it is to ensure you don't interpret that as lack of interest.



Is it possible he's iffy on his level of interest?


When someone is interested they make time for whatever they are interested in. When someone doesn't make time, it means their level of interest is limited at best.



Does he want to keep me guessing?


He wants you to believe he is a busy man with a life. He might want you to understand upfront that you might be about as important to him as washing his car or motorcycle.



My gut feeling is to SOMEHOW kindly hint that while I'm interested in him, I'm NOT interested in waiting games.


Wait four days to let him know you are not interested in playing games :-) ... there is no rush :-) He shouldn't be any more important to you as you are to him.



How do I go about figuring this out, and what to say?


It's all figured out, anyone that makes you wait four days without a very good reason is showing you how irrelevant you are to them. As far as what to say, he can't be bothered to show interest, you shouldn't be bothered to make time to say anything about it :-) If you want to be really kind, you could say "have a nice long waiting life" :-)


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