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 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 80
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Over 50 with younger kids?Page 3 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
Hang in there, Ping. Sometimes the only reward you get is knowing that you're doing the right thing. And you are.
 Aura1shine
Joined: 3/2/2011
Msg: 81
Over 50 with younger kids?
Posted: 11/25/2011 9:48:05 PM
I was in the same situation even now the kids are not with me due to their choices since dad is more fun to be with and not put any restriction on them. My opinion is if the guy could not accept the whole package, he does not belong in my life either.

You will find someone after the kids are grown. My girl friends had found someone to be with at later in life( they are much older than me).
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 83
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Over 50 with younger kids?
Posted: 11/28/2011 12:58:50 PM
I agree with the postr in msg 4 and the rest of her comments in other posts.

Dating someone over 50 with dependent children and worse if they are over 21 and still depenedent.. going to be hard to find someone interested.
Not just that... others who have children are going to be very careful in dating others with kids as to what ages and if they are boys or gorls, so I'm saying you will have discrimination from both thoose with kids and without !!!

there is nothing less appealing to me than someone my age with small children... I would rather eat a volkswagon, tires and all than mess with any of that.
 jhalter123
Joined: 7/4/2011
Msg: 84
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Over 50 with younger kids?
Posted: 11/28/2011 1:08:22 PM
If they aren't able to accept it than move on. You will find someone that loves children I have a 10 year old and a 20 year old living with me. Yeah it's tough but what are we to do.
 Dutchtreat1951
Joined: 11/4/2010
Msg: 85
Over 50 with younger kids?
Posted: 11/29/2011 6:27:18 PM
I'd love to find a Beautiful Lady like you with children. My ate wife couldn't have children,but I have always wanted to be a father. To bad you don't live closer.
 Greatcatch12345
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 86
Over 50 with younger kids?
Posted: 11/30/2011 4:21:52 AM
clearly its a deal-breaker....
 simplyme373
Joined: 2/21/2010
Msg: 87
Over 50 with younger kids?
Posted: 11/30/2011 6:16:55 AM
Dear Pingshooter...
Guess what...there ARE women over 50 out there that would happily and gladly meet someone of your caliber and embrace having the opportunity to meet a man who is as family oriented as you are! I know...because I'm one of them! You just have to wait patiently, keep doing what you do best, and one day it's right there in front of you!

Never lose your optimism or stop pursuing the dream of that one special woman!
Lynn
 RIPTIDE59
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 88
Over 50 with younger kids?
Posted: 12/1/2011 7:10:34 AM
Thanks Ping, ALTRUISM is alive and well in your heart!!!!!!!!!!!!
 Darkbutcomely
Joined: 4/20/2011
Msg: 89
Over 50 with younger kids?
Posted: 12/6/2011 6:28:27 AM
I prefer not to date men with young children. I dont have children at home and prefer it that way.
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 90
Over 50 with younger kids?
Posted: 12/6/2011 6:35:26 AM
my sons are 21 & 27..the 21 yr old lives w/ his dad & the 27 yr old is more like my roomie...pays for 1/2, love it!

i love them & we have a relationship, but they are not youngins...WHY WOULD I WANT TO DEAL WITH LITTLE KIDS OR TEENS NOW THAT I FINALLY AM FREE???
so if you have kids, it most likely would be better to date another who is in the same boat...some people don't mind, BUT I DO

I was drained from raising mine w/ no help, so I am not about to put myself through any of it ever again

PS- I was recently contacted by a 58 yr old w/ teens in school, he had a laundry list of this & that & was very unattractive to boot...he went off on me when I did not want to run out & meet him...very unstabile!!!


He obviously hooked up with a much younger woman 10 years ago, felt he was reliving his youth and brought these innocents into the world. Now that things haven't worked out, he's looking for someone his age willing to co-parent.
And what is that indicative of??? to me it is selfish & immature to bring kids in the world just to boost their own ego, then to expect someone else to pick up the slack!!! UGH!!!
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 91
Over 50 with younger kids?
Posted: 12/6/2011 7:18:20 AM
Having never been a parent, nor ever having the desire to be a parent, I've always taken a pass on men who had minor children; this was true even if they didn't have custody of them.

I've always insisted that the man I'm involved with be unencumbered in every sense of the word. He needed to be free of contact from an ex-wife, free of child-support obligations, free to travel, and free to make a relationship with a woman a top priority in his life.

Men with younger kids couldn't do that.
 ScootersDad64
Joined: 10/2/2011
Msg: 92
Over 50 with younger kids?
Posted: 12/6/2011 10:06:01 AM
At 47, I have an 8 yo daughter. She is from my first and only marriage. I was asked what I was even doing on POF since I did not have time to date. I may not be as free to go as an empty nester, but I'd make what time I have quality.

I hold nothing against people who do not want to date me because I have a child. If you don't want kids, like kids or whatever {many reasons given in this thread}, fine with me. We won't date because we are not compatible. What does surprise me is getting an attitude when I am being honest and upfront about having a child. Being told why would I waste the time of a serious dater, whatever that is, if I don't have time to date. I have time to date, just maybe not the time you require.
 911love
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 93
Over 50 with younger kids?
Posted: 12/10/2011 10:00:29 AM
I did not see this thread and I started one as well. I am 47 and I have a 4 year old. I guess it takes that special someone!
 dmzvisitor
Joined: 3/25/2011
Msg: 94
Over 50 with younger kids?
Posted: 12/10/2011 11:56:24 AM
We all would like to believe that "if it is the right person" it "shouldn't matter." That is, we see someone we like, and with whom we'd make a good match (in our own opinion), but they balk at the kids. So we tend to think, "if everything else is right, why does this matter?" But the whole point is, NOT everything else can be right if you have different outlooks on something so essential.

A single parent of any age cannot just pick up and go when the whim strikes. S/he cannot be out late on school nights (or at least not very often). No overnights when kids are around, either. And there is a lot more.

Why would a virtual stranger want to accept all those restrictions? Sure, *maybe* if they got to know you, those restrictions wouldn't really matter. But chances are, they would matter if your lifestyles are so different at this point in time.

It's no more selfish to prefer "no kids" than it was selfish to choose to have kids at any point in your life. I *wanted* children; they didn't ask to be born!

and ping, you do have choices--but you have definitely made the right one in the eyes of a lot of people. God bless you for it. I hope a beautiful, smart, charming woman will see that your character speaks volumes. You will make some lucky lady a fine match.
 911love
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 95
Over 50 with younger kids?
Posted: 12/11/2011 4:54:17 AM
A lot of posters here say they prefer to date others without children, or at least younger children, but no matter the age of a child you are always going to have issues come up. Kids in thier 20's can be harder to deal with then a 4 year old! LOL! I guess some people dont want the person they date to have any kids?
 coastalmermaid
Joined: 1/23/2011
Msg: 97
Over 50 with younger kids?
Posted: 12/12/2011 12:14:10 AM
Well it's sort of a bit of a red flag for me if a guy over 50 has two sets of kids, one older and one set still really young. This is because it says both partnerships which were serious enough at the time to procreate have both ended badly. He therefore quite possibly is paying 2 sets of child support which would leave him living on very little. I'm not looking for a guy who has trouble meeting his own financial responsibliities and needs. I've met several men in this situation and every time there turns out to be some kind of problem such as him being bipolar.

That being said, my youngest is 12 and I LOVE being a parent and am certainly not looking forward to my kids leaving home. My kids are always an asset and never a liability but that's just me. For the men I have gone out with it's never been mentioned as being any kind of an issue for them and they have all be well aware that I am a full-time single parent. I am very open, in fact I much prefer it, if men have kids of their own they are actively raising themselves. I'm just more careful now if they reveal they have a few sets of children they are supporting.
 911love
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 98
Over 50 with younger kids?
Posted: 12/13/2011 4:09:26 PM

This is because it says both partnerships which were serious enough at the time to procreate have both ended badly.

Not all partnerships end bady.


He therefore quite possibly is paying 2 sets of child support which would leave him living on very little.

How do you know how much "he" is making?


I'm not looking for a guy who has trouble meeting his own financial responsibliities and needs. I've met several men in this situation and every time there turns out to be some kind of problem such as him being bipolar.


Are you saying most guys who have more then one child with more then one women have financial issues therefore they are bipolar? I am sorry but you are really making a lot of assumptions!
 bishmich
Joined: 6/2/2006
Msg: 99
Over 50 with younger kids?
Posted: 12/13/2011 4:23:10 PM
Well I will be 50 this february and I have 4 years old son ............ His mom is 47 yrs old..........src=http://www.plentyoffish.com/smiles/icon_114.gif border=0>
 Ready_Real
Joined: 12/30/2010
Msg: 100
Over 50 with younger kids?
Posted: 1/12/2012 2:43:53 PM
Cross
Reference Thread:

perhaps an interesting comparison/contrast from an OP mom who is 50something w/ young children
 JAD2011
Joined: 1/9/2011
Msg: 101
Over 50 with younger kids?
Posted: 1/12/2012 8:59:38 PM
I am an over 50 with young kids in the home. Technically they are my grandchildren but I have raised both since their births. I also homeschool the oldest.

Do I want to meet someone for a serious relationship? Yes. Or I wouldnt' be here.

Have I had much luck in that respect? No. Quite a few run for the hills when they realize I have small kids in my care.

I can make time for a person I am interested in seeing and building a relationship with. It's not MY issue ... it's theirs.

I also have no issues with the other person having small children. I love kids. Always have.

But I also want to have adult interaction. That's not too much to ask in my book.

JAD
 BrookfieldGentlemanTom
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 102
Over 50 with younger kids?
Posted: 1/14/2012 2:09:08 PM
with young children at home you are definately at a more disadvantage than a woman who does not have them.

there are only a few things you can do. here's one and it's not meant for you personally but all women in general.

make yourself as physically as attractive as you can. exercise, lose weight and check up on the latest fashion trends and hairstyles.
 chillin1955
Joined: 2/27/2011
Msg: 103
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Over 50 with younger kids?
Posted: 1/19/2012 8:38:19 AM
I too have a 12 and 14 yo. I also had 2 in their 30's and 4 grands.

The thing is, I'm tied down, I cannot just up be spontaneous as I would like and as men would like and to be honest I don't blame them.

I know my vibrational match will come soon enough. In the meantime, I enjoy and appreciate where I am.
 nativerock
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 104
Over 50 with younger kids?
Posted: 1/19/2012 1:15:10 PM

make yourself as physically as attractive as you can. exercise, lose weight and check up on the latest fashion trends and hairstyles.


Now here is one gent who at least is offering what he is suggesting..I am sure he is not lacking for dates..

nativerock
 1388SmartBlonde
Joined: 5/15/2011
Msg: 105
Over 50 with younger kids?
Posted: 5/5/2012 1:55:41 AM
My boss and his wife are in their late 40's. They have a 5 & 8 year old and lots of men our age had young children with a 2nd wife, so kids at home is not that uncommon. My suggestion is to focus on the men who already have teens and tweens still at home as you two will be "in the same place" with parenting.
 starofgaia
Joined: 4/11/2012
Msg: 106
Over 50 with younger kids?
Posted: 5/5/2012 4:38:41 AM
Personally, I would not date a man in his sixties, with a child under ten. For many, many reasons.
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