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Joined: 1/25/2008
Msg: 6
One night stands??Page 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Hmmmmm ...Thinking this chick.. needs to read her own profile
Joined: 10/15/2006
Msg: 12
One night stands??
Posted: 1/31/2008 5:11:26 PM
Okay, so maybe you didn't have actual penetration (only you & Bill Clinton will ever REALLY know for sure) However, you still had your PAWS on a married man and now you can't "stop thinking about him" You can bet that you have NOT crossed his mind at all, probably about as much as his WIFE crossed his mind while he was trying to get LAID.

Don't kid yourself, this guy had no more thought/respect for you than you had for yourself or his wife....ZERO, ZILCH, NONE!

Stop feeling sorry for yourself because you can't "stop thinking about him".....Imagine how his wife will be thinking about you for the REST of her life and SHE didn't get a choice in the "game"
Joined: 1/25/2008
Msg: 13
One night stands??
Posted: 1/31/2008 5:20:29 PM
you did not have a " one night stand"

I've never had anyone care for me so lovingly before

yes you have,,,,,,,,had this before ,, don't kid yourself...

there an old saying,,, You will lose that person,, The same why you got them ....

so go it.... cause he will be cheating on you ,,,,,, count on it . don't beat yourself about this,,,,,, take it as a lesson of life ...
Joined: 4/26/2007
Msg: 15
view profile
One night stands??
Posted: 1/31/2008 5:30:12 PM
Amen!!!! to all the folks that find this disgusting.

If the shoe were on the other foot ladies, or gentlemen, how would we like it? I have had it happen to me (I caught him and my best friend) and I was flaming mad
Joined: 1/25/2008
Msg: 16
One night stands??
Posted: 1/31/2008 5:32:05 PM
cat is right,,, this sounds more like cheating ... rather than the ol one nighter

In which case,, you being my wife.... I found out... you would be out the door
I have very loose views about sex,,, untill it comes to cheating.... then your ass is looking for about Box to sleep in
Don't bother reading my profile,,, I'am only here for the SEX
Joined: 1/25/2008
Msg: 19
One night stands??
Posted: 1/31/2008 6:09:11 PM


Your being awful tough on the girl ! ! I mean to say cum on here....

He took her away for a week,,,, in that time manage to get her drunk enough,, to maybe get laid .. one time....gets her naked in a shower ...

then doesn't get any,,, and this guy is HOT ...
Ohellyes she feels guilty..............

wonder what the guy is telling his wife he spent 5 grand on in a week ??

Hmmmmm,, who did the wife do that week ???
Joined: 1/5/2008
Msg: 20
One night stands??
Posted: 1/31/2008 6:25:16 PM
why are you even asking how you deal with them, their just what they are, you do it, you move on till the next one, not much of a life but hey whats one nighters for anyway...sad people do that.
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 24
One night stands??
Posted: 1/31/2008 6:50:04 PM
he stopped what he was doing, jumped in a cold shower with me, held my hair up while I threw up and rubbed my back ever so gently. He sat with me for a long time to make sure I was okay and when I started to get better he tucked me in, turned up my heat and left

Wow.......... What a touching story. I can see why you would want a peach like that in your life. He actually did ~all of that~ for little old you? Seriously...........You must have absolutely no self esteem or morals at all to get mixed up in that sickening mess, and then try to put this jerk on a pedistool. You two deserve each other.... and you better hope his wife doesn't find out where you live or work.

Couldn't help but chuckle after reading your profile requirements for a guy OP. Honesty and loyalty? What a contradiction.
Joined: 8/10/2007
Msg: 25
One night stands??
Posted: 1/31/2008 7:06:41 PM
Well,.. if it's About feeling bad,.. don't.... feel good.! Personally, I prefer to lay, then
stand,.. but I can do either(laying is MY personal preference though..)
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 26
view profile
One night stands??
Posted: 1/31/2008 7:49:37 PM
Wow. This is an interesting thread. I fail to see what it is that you want advice about. You have spent some time with a man that you knew that you could not have long term. You are now enduring difficult feelings from this. I am sure that you have been broken hearted before. You will be again. Grow up.

While what you did was not very cool, you did not cheat, HE did!! Frankly, everyone here has done something in their past that they are ashamed of. This does not let you off of the hook by any means! But Take this and learn a lesson.

By the way, the pain that you feel is nothing next to the pain that you assisted in causing this mans wife. You should be ashamed of yourself for whinnning about your pain when the very actions that caused them have harmed someone so much worse and you have the audacity to refuse judgement over it yet feel sympathy for you!!

Grow up.
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 28
One night stands??
Posted: 2/1/2008 8:31:17 AM
First off, you didn't have a one night stand. A one night stand is, the first time you meet, you sleep with each other. What this sounds like is a premeditated effort in your part and his part. You went away for the weekend, you spent time together, then on the last night you wanted to sleep together. But you blew it because you got drunk. Now you feel guilty, and even more, you are desiring the man even more. That part is normal, women, actually people in general will covet what they can not have. If fact, a typical technique of pick up artist that is so effective women never see it coming is what is called the neg, or negging. Negative reinforcement, or playful teasing to give the woman the vague impression that the man is not interested in her. But it can be done also by not kissing her, or even in this case, not sleeping with her. I don't think this guy did that (not sleep with you) because he knew what he was doing, I think he did it because suddenly his conscience woke up and he asked himself what'ta hell was he doing.

There are two types of married men that cheat. Those that are chronic cheats, meaning you would have been the flavor of the week, and those that have some severe issues on their marriage so they cheat as an escape. The problem with the latter is that, if he cheats with you and leaves his wife, he then will dumb you. This is classic, and happens the same way even when it's the woman doing the cheating.

My advice. Forget this man. Blank him out of your mind. Second, look for single guys. There are a ton of them out there. Either that or be comfortable at being the flavor of the week.
 english lass
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 29
One night stands??
Posted: 2/1/2008 9:40:20 AM
well, you know it *was* a one night stand, it's done.. time to cut off all contact and find someone new (and unattached..) otherwise you'll keep living in a dream land (which you've discovered is already a nightmare..)

hanging around someone who is taken already is really asking for trouble, spend one on one time only with people who are single and you won't be faced with this again.. and you'll be able to live with the results of whatever happens much more easily without the fact of the other person being married, on your conscience
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 30
One night stands??
Posted: 2/1/2008 9:42:16 AM
If you knew what you were getting into--which wasn't sex, but one time sex with a married man, big difference apparently--then there isn't a single thing to get over. Or deal with.

you KNEW WHAT YOU WERE GETTING. if you thought you weren't going to like it, then don't go there. Just thank the Good Lord he didn't take advantage of your drunken, nearly passed out state. I had a friend who got raped when she changed her mind w/ the guy she brought home while drunk. apparently he was sober enough to know the trouble he'd be in.
Joined: 7/4/2005
Msg: 34
One night stands??
Posted: 2/1/2008 4:24:19 PM

I felt really bad and am mad at myself for getting drunk.

Believe it or not, drunk and barfing was what saved you. You'll be glad for drunk and barfing that night someday. Now you should move on to more appropriate people, IMO.
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 35
view profile
One night stands??
Posted: 2/1/2008 4:40:28 PM
One night stands????........Please........

Married people are "off" matter how nice or good looking, or kind and horny, offering or not, wanting or my lips........OFF LIMITS!!

Now.....on to the topic of one night stands......juvenile at best, suicidal at worst with all the STD's, stalkers, mentally ill wacko's, and much more.

If you are hot for another, enjoy them, get to know them, and then tell them that you want more and more means dating, getting tested, and a relationship of mutual trust and understanding.

To let go for one night is let go without being careful for all involved just plain stupid......

Just my opinion........
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 37
view profile
One night stands??
Posted: 2/3/2008 7:34:20 PM
Can some of you women not get a single guy to date you? The only thing the married ones want is a one-night-stand, or a few, but nothing more. The selection is slimmer for women who will sleep with a married man, so they settle for anything they can get.
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 41
One night stands??
Posted: 2/4/2008 2:31:23 PM

It's 5:29 p.m. oops........5:30p.m. Happy now?
Joined: 3/23/2006
Msg: 42
One night stands??
Posted: 2/4/2008 2:40:58 PM
I am not into one night stands. I am just not. I have had them but not by choice. I was duped a few times by women that I thought were interested in more than that with me. And then no calls. I did not persue any until my last break up, but no it was not the answer and it cost me the friendship I had with the ex. We all make mistakes oin judgement.
Joined: 11/7/2004
Msg: 49
view profile
One night stands??
Posted: 2/4/2008 8:56:08 PM

(OP) I felt really bad and am mad at myself for getting drunk. Now I can't seem to stop thinking about him.
How do you deal with one night stands, before or after the fact?

I'm not quite clear on what you mean. Are you "mad at yourself" because you were drunk and missed the sex? Take consolation in the fact drunkeness has resulted in many failed opportunites world wide.

If you are "mad at yourself" because you liked the guy and feel he's disappointed in you. Same advice as above.

If you're "mad at yourself" because it went as far as it did there's an old song by Elvin Bishop which goes,

I must have been through about a million girls
I'd love 'em then I'd leave 'em alone
I didn't care how much they cried, no sir
Their tears left me cold as a stone
But then I fooled around and fell in love
I fooled around and fell in love, yes I did...

And then there's this one,

We've been meeting here so long
I guess what we've done, know it's wrong
Please darling, don't you cry
Let's just kiss and say goodbye

Now many months have passed by (I'm gonna miss you)
I'm gonna miss you, I can't lie, oh no (I'm gonna miss you)
I've got ties and so do you
I thing this is a thing you do

It's gonna hurt me, I can't lie
Maybe you need, you need another guy
Understand me, won't you try, try, try, ...
Let's just kiss and say goodbye

Ahhh, yes. The heartbreak and the heartache. And then there's Mary MacGregor's lament,

You musn't think you've failed me
Just because there's someone else
You were the first real love I ever had
And all the things I ever said
I swear they still are true
For no one else can have the part of me I gave to you

Torn between two lovers
Feeling like a fool
Loving both of you
Is breaking all the rules

Yep, affairs are messy things. They tear the heart out of not just the spouses but also the people directly involved. Be gentle with yourself.
Joined: 9/12/2005
Msg: 55
One night stands??
Posted: 2/5/2008 8:48:11 AM
Hmmmmm ...Thinking this chick.. needs to read her own profile

Joined: 6/6/2007
Msg: 58
One night stands??
Posted: 2/5/2008 1:40:11 PM

held my hair up while I threw up and rubbed my back ever so gently.

hahah, rubbed my back ever so gentley, that's pretty fruity.
Joined: 6/11/2005
Msg: 60
One night stands??
Posted: 2/5/2008 2:31:05 PM
Hey, seems like the women are burning you, I am sorry. Don't worry about that.

Married or not, you had as did he " fooling around a lot as you said" some very intimate fun. Just remember that and don't worry about the Na sayers!!
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 62
One night stands??
Posted: 2/5/2008 3:15:36 PM
Er Narmouse!

Clarify things please.
Did you actualy have sex with this guy or did he just help you out of your clothes and into bed??
Joined: 11/7/2004
Msg: 63
view profile
One night stands??
Posted: 2/6/2008 7:39:20 AM
The OP wrote,
I got really close to passing out and he stopped what he was doing, jumped in a cold shower with me, held my hair up while I threw up and rubbed my back ever so gently. He sat with me for a long time to make sure I was okay and when I started to get better he tucked me in, turned up my heat and left.

The OP feels the man treated her well, however, we see the following comments from others regarding the event.

Msg 16,
Are you really ...REALLY that diluded into thinking this is someone who cares for YOU??????……… his token holding your hair up in the shower while you puked…
and msg 18,
Don't kid yourself, this guy had no more thought/respect for you than you had for yourself….
and msg 25,
After all, he's the ONLY one that's ever treated her with such tenderness. (Yeehaw someone held my hair while I barfed my drunken guts out! THAT'S THE MAN FOR ME!!!)
and msg 59,
and finally, msg 80,
Because a guy holds your head when you puke does not make this guy anything special.

So, I have a question to all the above posters regarding their comments implying the guy didn’t give a damn about her. Let’s switch the people and have the guy being the one who was drunk and vomiting. How many ladies would have stayed and cleaned him up and put him to bed? Would anyone here have given a damn about the man? Anyone?

(Msg 59) IF he truly did have strong emotions for you, instead of tucking you in and leaving(He made sure you were alive and not going to choke in your sleep, )....... he would of spent every second he could with you, he would of crawled in beside you and held you all night.. knowing that you only had a short time together.

If he did I feel you would have interpreted that as the guy hoping she’d recover enough to continue but I suppose that’s just speculation on my part. In any case how many women would have crawled into bed with a man if the roles were reversed?

Why are people insisting the man didn’t care for her when he did more than any woman would have done in similar circumstances?

This is not to say what happened was right, however, to say the guy just used her and didn’t give a damn isn’t right either.
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