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 Dave of Indiana
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 26
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Married people on POF...Page 2 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

Oh look, there it is again....
Dude, is there not one thread here that you can post in that doesn't have you implying
that women are no good?
You remind me of a 3rd grade boy with the "Girls are Gross" mentality.
Why does every thing have to be divided into genders?
There are obviously way too many married folks ~ men and women ~ out trying to get a piece on the side.
Maybe you can pull another stat out of your ass and prove your "thinkings".

I've often wondered: if ten different married men are having affairs, who are they having affairs with? Ten different women, obviously! So where does the statistic come from that men have more affairs then women?
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 27
Married people on POF...
Posted: 2/2/2011 12:50:03 PM

So where does the statistic come from that men have more affairs then women?

Maybe 2 or 3 of those men are doing the same woman? Maybe a couple of the men are having a same-sex affair?
Just guesses on my part.
What seems to be an occurrence with online dating is married men contacting unpartnered women,either concealing his status or doing the " It's a loveless marriage,but I can't get a divorce because..." I tell ya, some guys can get enough "I feel your pain" cred to pull off getting with a side piece that KNOWS he's married-apparently either complete deception or complete truth play well with some women. And then we do have the woman who chooses to be involved with married men because she knows she's never going to have to put up with having him completely in her life, in her house and underfoot. And the observations I'm making could equally apply to married women,but from all I hear, the balance of married men looking for a little on the side greatly outweighs the married women looking for an extramarital affair.
Cindy O
Joined: 5/21/2010
Msg: 28
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Married people on POF...
Posted: 2/2/2011 5:16:38 PM
from my experience, i would say any married men who have tried to contact me are the ones trying to engineer furtive, grubby online affairs.

they've been "careless" with the truth or played the "woe is me, stuck in a loveless marriage" card,
which is probably a lot of cr"p anyway.

or, instead of paying for porn they try for thrills on the cheap, with any woman who may be foolish or desperate enough to participate.

Joined: 7/11/2010
Msg: 29
Married people on POF...
Posted: 2/2/2011 6:23:34 PM

some of the men are having same sex affairs ! ? LMAO thats funny.
Joined: 7/18/2010
Msg: 30
Married people on POF...
Posted: 2/3/2011 3:05:01 PM
I guess they are on the "down low".
Joined: 1/21/2011
Msg: 31
Married people on POF...
Posted: 2/5/2011 4:51:05 PM
I seen a woman on here have on her profile that she is not single and really looking. That makes you ask yourself and that person "Then why the heck are you on here?"
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 32
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Married people on POF...
Posted: 2/6/2011 7:33:53 PM

Okay, I see this...

Sounds to me like he's married.....

...all of the time. I will admit from whatI read the experience on POF is different for men than it is for women. Do people here really spend that much time fending off the advances of married people, or encounter married person after married person?
Of people that I have met I am pretty certain that none of them were married... I think.

Yes. I get approached by a *lot* of married men. I'm getting tired of it.

I have not heard men complain about this. Is it because married women do it less? Is it because the men don't care so they don't complain? Or is it that the married women find it so easy to find a (presumably) married guy that they don't need to bother unattached guys? I don't know.
Joined: 7/11/2010
Msg: 33
Married people on POF...
Posted: 2/9/2011 11:33:17 PM
^^^^ well duh of course its because they don't even care if the woman is married or not.

if they can't get a single woman, then who cares if she's taken or married right?

u won't hear men complaing either way, and yes i don't think married women would cheat as much and if they did it would go under the radar more because they probably already have their FWB's on the side waiting readily for the call.

u know the sort's, the guy's who hang around who are these women's supposedely "guy friends". LMAO.

women can find a sex partner of any sex quicker than a guy could even if u gave him a head start lol.
Joined: 7/31/2010
Msg: 34
Married people on POF...
Posted: 2/10/2011 4:46:05 PM
""most dont have to be even married, just having psycho ex's that are still in the picture can be enough that are trying to worm their way back into the person's life again ur trying to see.""

Yep. I haven`t met "married" on this site so far, but I have definately met this. They might as well have been married...
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 35
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Married people on POF...
Posted: 2/14/2011 5:33:50 PM
I've often wondered: if ten different married men are having affairs, who are they having affairs with? Ten different women, obviously! So where does the statistic come from that men have more affairs then women?

Obviously, no woman is capable of having sex with more than one man. And married men *only* have affairs with married women, never with single women. So, it's impossible that more married men are having affairs than married women. It just doesn't add up. It's like saying there are more married men than there are married women, right?

Um, I know grade school kids who can see the flaw in this thinking

If it's any comfort to you, the percentages of married women having affairs is increasing and getting closer to the percentage of married men having affairs. Meanwhile, it really shouldn't be hard to figure this out, just think a little.
Joined: 1/21/2011
Msg: 36
Married people on POF...
Posted: 3/2/2011 4:43:28 PM
The incidence of married woman vs male infidelity has approached to within 5% of each other from what I understand. Some people like the stats, some don't.

I have not heard men complain about this. Is it because married women do it less? Is it because the men don't care so they don't complain? Or is it that the married women find it so easy to find a (presumably) married guy that they don't need to bother unattached guys? I don't know.

because of the respective roles in the mating dance, a guy is generally expected to do the initial approaching. No approach, no action. He will virtually always be dubbed a slimeball because his roll is active. A married woman can be passive and simply wait for the approaches (and can actually park herself pictureless in other relationship or intimate encounter--and say "not getting enough--want FWB")

Where it happens also makes a difference. The married men may stick in friends/hangout/dating and he may be deceptive. Online would be one of the safest places for him. Married men simply are NOT an attractive option for most women for unless she has met him in the course of real life. The relationship can go nowhere, He hasn't got the flexibility of time and treating her like a princess, a home to bring her to. Posing as a "single" is much more tempting to a married guy. A man, virtually by necessity, has to tip his hand and expose his intentions if dealing face to face so you WILL see more men on here.

Whereas women, as the passive participant, can generally have it occur in real life because she doesn't have to tip her hand by approaching, the drop-in electrician, friend of the family that flirted too much over beer. Check out the flirt applications on facebook and you'll see a HUGE concentration of married women during daytime working hours.

Spoke with a woman who was involved (bf/gf aparently) for 4 months and didn't know he was married. There are lots of giveaways. Perhaps for another discussion;)

PS lol, after all I'm not married
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 37
Married people on POF...
Posted: 3/2/2011 6:17:24 PM
There are tons of marrieds in online dating sites...both sexes.

Men dont complain about it as often because generally they dont get hit on like women do, so when a married woman approaches it isnt an insult, even if morally they dont agree or go along with it.

I lost count how many times in chat I weeded out married men. And I was not assuming, Id tell them I figured they were married and they would confess. lol

I have chatted with men though that were ticked at how many married women they had run into...seems we are becoming more and more equal everyday. 'yay'
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 38
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Married people on POF...
Posted: 3/3/2011 11:51:34 AM
I'm not sure what's up with the "married" thing. People do have lives, families, friends, jobs, other commitments. I don't think it's fair to expect someone you've just met/started dating to put you at the top of the list.

I dated someone who all my friends SWORE was married. HAD to be...because he didn't conform to their ideas of how someone should behave. I actually had someone "figure it out" - he must be married to a flight attendant, who was out of town when he was with me, that's it!!!!! Silly. He was divorced, just like he said.

I don't know if it's because just about every woman over the age of 30 I know who has dated, has come across a married guy pretending to be single...? I myself went out a couple of times with one of them, a while back. Maybe it's just hyper-vigilance?
 Adam Taylor
Joined: 5/11/2006
Msg: 39
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Married people on POF...
Posted: 3/9/2011 11:20:12 AM
I've come across married women on here.

There's two main groups I encounter.

There's those who try to hide the fact that they're married. Or give me the whole "well, it's over" bit. They tend to try and keep the relationship low key. They don't want people knowing. And that doesn't work for me.
And of course, there's all those who are just cheating. They admit they're married, and don't want their husband to know.

Others I've come across are married, and tell me upfront. Their husband knows that they are on here seeking another relationship, they're open about it. And I admire that. I've chatted with the husbands of couple, and when I know that the husband really is being kept in the loop, I have no problem seeing the woman.
Joined: 4/25/2009
Msg: 40
Married people on POF...
Posted: 5/13/2011 1:57:46 AM
Some of you need to lighten up a bit. If two consenting adults who just may happen to be married to someone else, decide they want to hook up for a little NSA fun then that is their own business. People stay married for a multitude of reasons one component of that being sex. Seldom are both partners in a marriage on exactly the same page when it comes to sex though. One will usually desire more or less than the other. This is where the "****-buddy" comes in to fill a void. The problem arises however if an emotional attachment forms with the NSA partner. That's when it becomes a very slippery slope.
A good friend who happens to be very religious (but not the preachy type) once gave me a very good piece of advice when I confided in him that I was considering an extra-marital fling with a women I had recently met. He simply said "Why would you want to complicate your life with that?
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 41
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Married people on POF...
Posted: 5/13/2011 4:17:25 AM
What causes folks here, and elsewhere, to "darken down" about affairs, is that it involves deception. MOST of us want a real relationship that will work in the light of day. The vitriol you are bound to see comes as a direct result of the LYING that in usually involved in dealing with cheats.
The "two consenting adults" who you postulate would not be lying to each other, perhaps, but they would be, to their spouses. That does make them LIARS, and as such, not people I would trust in any situation.
Yes, it IS their own business, and if I knew about someone having an affair (I hate that term, it seems to be designed to make the sordid, selfish acts look like a graceful, carefree and innocent little indulgence. "Fling" is a likewise insipid cover-up name for disgusting behavior), I would not intervene unless they were impinging on my life by it. But I will always challenge anyone who publicly claims that lying, and cheating are things to be found even remotely acceptable.
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 42
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Married people on POF...
Posted: 5/13/2011 4:24:45 AM
By the way, the apparent statistical anomaly mentioned a long while back (more men having affairs than women) isn't hard to understand. By definition, the person in those PARTICULAR statistics, who is defined as having the affair, is the married one. It comes from the common fact that married people who are cheating, often DON'T tell the person they are cheating with, that they are married. In those situations, it could be accurately said that only the MARRIED person is having an affair.
Therefore, looking only from the perspective of married people cheating, it is quite possible to have one sex do more of it than the other, without resorting to things like same-sex cheating, or one woman being the sex-object of many married men, to make the math work.
Joined: 2/15/2010
Msg: 43
Married people on POF...
Posted: 5/14/2011 12:01:05 AM
Lots of married men try to contact me in the hopes of reliving their youthful, better days. ;)
Joined: 5/6/2010
Msg: 44
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Married people on POF...
Posted: 5/14/2011 12:25:08 PM
Vintage, At what point do they tell you they are married?

Female friends of mine would get contacted quite often by married (not even separated) guys. Most of them would go on and on about how the wife changed, blah, blah, blah...and how they would leave the wife if the other women said yes. Seemed like they attracted very few men that were trying to hide the fact they were married. Most admitted to be married in the first response to a message..or once they had a phone number. I know some on here complain about finding out way later after seeing enough clues.

The guys I know that get contacted by married women, seem to get the ones lying. So, I'm not sure how many of the women that contact are actually married. The only one that I know of that contacted me claimed to be divorced, but it turned out she wasn't even legally separated...just physically due to her husband being in prison.
 english lass
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 45
Married people on POF...
Posted: 5/14/2011 4:45:26 PM
Yep, lots of married people looking for diversion or ego boosts on the internet...
Joined: 12/7/2010
Msg: 46
Married people on POF...
Posted: 5/14/2011 7:45:38 PM
^^lots of single people looking for a diversion or ego boost as well.

As for married men, to my knowledge I haven't met any in person from this site. I can't see how someone would be fooled into thinking they were single for very long. Unless they were separated and that's different anyway to me.
Joined: 2/15/2010
Msg: 47
Married people on POF...
Posted: 5/14/2011 10:17:28 PM

Vintage, At what point do they tell you they are married?

usually right away!
Joined: 4/25/2011
Msg: 48
Married people on POF...
Posted: 5/15/2011 3:15:36 PM
You can probably find married people looking to cheat anywhere. On POF, other dating sites, a bar / club etc. Some will try to hide the fact that they are married. While others will tell you right away that they are married.
Joined: 8/27/2010
Msg: 49
Married people on POF...
Posted: 7/2/2011 12:50:20 AM
I am really angry about people who are married and come on dating sites saying they are single, and want a long term relationship.

I recently met a guy on here, he was all i wanted in a guy.

We talked and talked on here by messages, then text, then talked on the phone.

He was the perfect Gentleman ( I give him that).

This guy was texting me between 30/40 times a day, this was nice it showed he was intrested in me.
We met up a couple of times. He was really nice.

Then on the Sunday, (after getting text messages all week) i never got a reply to my message in the morning or afternoon. Alarm bells started ringing.

He came to see me on the Monday to talk and explain he said.

Yes he is married has been for 14 years and with his wife for 16 years.

Not only that but he is on the rebound from his last girlfriend. lol

He told me he has cheated on his wife 4 times. Why????

He said the marriage got boring.

The latest girlfriend he was seeing for almost a year, but he got paranoid and thought she was seeing some one else.

As far as he is concerned he is not cheating on his wife as they do not sleep together.

Turns out the girlfriend was cheating on him with 2 other guys.
He was going to leave his wife for her just before he found out that she was cheating on him.

He is unsure as to if he is going to go back to his ex girlfriend, buy while he has not been sleeping with his girlfriend, he has gone back to sleeping with his wife.

Who he has told now, about the last girlfriend, because he felt guilty. lol

I have had a close shave their and i am just glad i found out before we did anything more than just kiss.

I asked if he used a condom with his ex girlfriend and he said, yes most of the time.

I just hope that her other 2 boyfriends she is sleeping with used them, or i hate to think what could happen, what they could catch......

He did have his own photo on his profile, but once he found out you could just cut and paste any photo and save it, he got worried i guess and took his photo off.
But he is still on here saying he is single and looking for a L.T.R.

So for any one else who does not know, any photo you put on here can be cut and pasted and be kept by any one to use for any purpose.

Besides this guy, all i have been asked for is to be 3 different guys, F**K buddie.

I happen to think i am worth a bit more than that, so i had to decline.

Getting down now from my soap box. Guys & Girls out their, please take care and happy fishing.
Joined: 5/14/2011
Msg: 50
Married people on POF...
Posted: 7/2/2011 9:28:35 PM
there are married men on here. now, i can understand that a man might be unhappy and might be in a loveless marriage, but if that is the case then he should fricken leave his wife. to lie and lead women on, etc. is really horrible. honestly, if i was in a loveless marriage i would not seek solace on a dating website. i'd either work it out or leave. period.
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