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Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 20
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Starting to date a single momPage 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Something else dawned on me in reading your repost. If she has not dated you may be the first person to see her post-baby. This can be huge for a woman even if she looks great and even if she has had a relationship or two, she may not have the confidence she once did.

I think you are taking a negative attitude without allowing her input and that is a mistake. There is nothing I dislike more than someone assuming they know what I am thinking or feeling. Look at it like this, it is somewhat disrespectful to assume that you know what is going on in her head and you are assuming the worst.

Maybe you prepare for the worst, think about whether you would be lucky to have her in your life even as a friend and then anything else is just icing. But don't assume that she has put you in the friend zone particularly when many of us moms have indicated that we do not think that is the case from what you've said. Sometimes when someone says he is an awesome guy she really means it, and in her case, with this crappy X et al, she may not think she deserves someone as great as you and is running from the car to make sure she is not there when the coach disappears.
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 24
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Starting to date a single mom
Posted: 2/10/2008 5:09:29 PM
Tried to message you but I am too long in the tooth. Bears and Cubs btw.

No offense at the chick comment. I have tried to solve guys' problems before when they were more looking for the solidarity so I have been accused of acting like a guy. I don't think you are over-analyzing because you know her history and that in some ways she may be gun shy and I think you also are thinking about this as more serious than another situation because a child is involved. All good things.

Again, I don't think in your situation you could really go wrong by asking her when maybe with someone that you don't know the background so well and the 10 year acquaintance you would probably want to avoid being so straightforward. You probably both have a little more invested in things working out because you each know the other really is a good catch, so you are both a little shy to take it to something more than friendship.
Joined: 1/14/2008
Msg: 25
Starting to date a single mom
Posted: 2/10/2008 5:19:44 PM
A single mom who justs wants sex would just be all over you and it would be short.

A single mom who likes you ...will take it a little slower...she may have reservations, not want to get hurt... bad experience with getting close to a guy again... not wanting to bring a man into the home.

so.. sounds like you two hit it off... give it a chance.. .she is sounds interested in you.

I lost you in the you talk about her son?... does she want to talk about it?...

I know that I want to get back into dating.....get out more and have some fun... my girls want me to go out...but I won't bring a man into my home... and I won't introduce my daughters to a man I am dating unless I am going out with him a while and expect him to join us in activities. Revolving door romances just confuse kids.
Joined: 12/28/2007
Msg: 32
Starting to date a single mom
Posted: 2/12/2008 9:29:48 AM
On the practical side, two things come to mind. She may need to get back and let the babysitter go home, which would cut out a lot of linger-in-the-car time. Also, she may want to take it farther but doesn't want to invite you into her home. A single mom always has to be aware of the impact of her actions on her child, and so can't always be totally "in the moment".

All that being said, I think you're doing the right thing - being a friend first and letting things develop. It helps immensely that you're sensitive to her special needs as a parent. You sound like a great guy. Good luck.
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