Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 gucci8
Joined: 11/18/2005
Msg: 71
view profile
History
At what age do we lower our standards on dating?Page 2 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
Never lower your Standards!!! Why would or schould you??? I always told my Girlfriends, you 'll met neat poeple when you're 20,30, 40,50 60 and plus!! Rainbows to you<<<
 EagleEric
Joined: 11/2/2006
Msg: 72
At what age do we lower our standards on dating?
Posted: 2/12/2008 9:17:16 AM
Why don't you have a pic up on your profile? For me, that raises a red flag. I've always found that people always reveal themselves but often in ways that aren't very direct.

I find your way of expressing yourself disturbing. It's all jumbled up and somewhat incoherent. There isn't a clear message about exactly who you're. To me, you sound like a disorganized mess.

I belive the comments of the women who wrote to you are likely on target. Also you dating an attractive woman 18 years your junior is wishful thinking on your part.

Is the purspose of this post to get a little sympathy?

The Eagle
 Billfishin2
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 74
At what age do we lower our standards on dating?
Posted: 2/12/2008 10:37:05 AM

I guess I'm speaking for myself, but what does settling do? I dont know the word settling to me ..implies not being happy? What if instead the person adjusts their expectations to be realistic and is happy in the end. I don't consider this settling.


Smileatjen has a good point -- if as yall say you are never going to settle, you WILL always be alone because you cannot settle for anyone, even if they are perfect. I will settle in an instant for ms right (JMHO though, because I am a fat man and those who are not, have implied that fat men are less desireable and not as well educated and less well paid are better than thin/fit men [NOW what do I do with those four degrees??])
 sun_shine_2008
Joined: 7/24/2007
Msg: 75
view profile
History
At what age do we lower our standards on dating?
Posted: 2/12/2008 1:30:56 PM
if your standards are too high and you are still alone should you lower them? If you are happy with yourself and although you would like to be with someone but dont want to "settle" then dont. You need to do what will make you happy
 wisguyingb
Joined: 1/5/2008
Msg: 79
At what age do we lower our standards on dating?
Posted: 2/12/2008 1:58:42 PM
Hopefully never!
 strollinbella
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 85
At what age do we lower our standards on dating?
Posted: 2/12/2008 5:08:41 PM
I've had men look at my profile and then send me an email suggesting that I would be more successful in my search if I didn't have as many mailing restrictions. My reality is that if I simply wanted to hang out with a man, I could do that with one of my current male friends, without doing a search on this or any other dating site. I could go on re my other restrictions, but it all comes down to my desire to find a man with compatible goals, values, and interests.

In my 30s and 40s I did settle a few times, simply because I didn't want to be alone; go to parties and shows alone.... The cowboy on page one is so right when he says (not a quote), settling means that at least one of you won't be happy. Though I was comfortable in a few of the relationships I mention above, there was always that nagging feeling inside that there was something missing. I want to have no doubts the next time I take the leap into love. Take it slow, get to know the man before I give him my heart.
 printer2
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 86
At what age do we lower our standards on dating?
Posted: 2/12/2008 5:15:09 PM
I can not tell you at what age to lower your standards. But I can tell you many standards are lowered on Saturday nights just around closing time.
 Kelley-88
Joined: 2/7/2008
Msg: 89
At what age do we lower our standards on dating?
Posted: 2/15/2008 9:39:58 PM
Logic dictates that those that don't find it necesary to lower their standards to find a relationship, when due to age, children, and divorce they are less in demand than when they were younger, do not have high standards. If I'm not married by age 23 or 24, I will lower my standards and expectations. And, should I later find myself divorced, I will certainly be forced to lower my standards.

I will still do the best I can and hopefully that will not require lowering my standards by a lot.
 tmc788
Joined: 11/17/2007
Msg: 91
At what age do we lower our standards on dating?
Posted: 2/15/2008 9:55:02 PM
that would depend on what your "standards" are and whether they are realistic and human. If your standard in a partner is to date a supermodel and you are 100 pounds overweight, maybe your standards are preventing you from finding someone compatible and you might find yourself waking up 60 years old alone.
If you've been divorced 3 times, not that there's anything wrong with that, per se, you might need to reconsider what qualities you're looking for in a partner.
 NorseViking869
Joined: 3/23/2006
Msg: 92
At what age do we lower our standards on dating?
Posted: 2/15/2008 10:04:57 PM
Ideally never. Infact the older you get you should be raising the bar higher and dating less. The right person for me has to earn the right to the key to my heart, not just bust down my castle walls. She needs to like me for me and and accept me for me. She needs to love me,warts and all. I set my boundries high cause I want a good person in my life, not the women I have dated in the past.

I have a lot of scars from past relationships. It takes time to heal. And those scars were caused by certain types of women I let in to my life cause my standards were low.
 *buzz*
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 94
view profile
History
At what age do we lower our standards on dating?
Posted: 2/17/2008 12:20:04 PM
So how long do we wait and how low do our standards go till we find at least a close match.

How long? As long as it takes and in the meantime, lets enjoy the journey ... f o r u m s.
And the standard issue? What is there to lower when we are made the way we are? Perhaps, the better option would be to find the counterpart whose boots were made for walking , whose outlook on life is similar and who shares the same values. Do I dream about hitting the jackpot? You bet.
 *Just Jim*
Joined: 7/6/2007
Msg: 96
At what age do we lower our standards on dating?
Posted: 2/17/2008 3:30:09 PM

who shares the same values. Do I dream about hitting the jackpot? You bet.


May your values be true as the day is long...
 Indigo rose
Joined: 3/17/2007
Msg: 97
At what age do we lower our standards on dating?
Posted: 2/17/2008 3:38:56 PM
Standards lower now ...How low can you go?


Our standards get higher as we age not lower .....and I gots proof...
why do you think there are so many old single people whining around here???
 Adam 4 Coffee
Joined: 5/31/2007
Msg: 98
At what age do we lower our standards on dating?
Posted: 2/17/2008 3:47:06 PM
Wll I am 26 turning 27 next month. I might have been shallow in my young age. I typically date chubby women with big boobs. I also am partial to women hitting on me its a real turn on and I don;t care if you are a little fat as long as you are not godzilla! or queen kong or donkey kong! I'll date a fatty who's got good proportiosn typically under 200lbs. I have dated thin girls, dated many. But over the past 4 years mostly chubby women with big boobs. I guess that's what I like and I care more about personality. and sometiems will go straight for the chubnby girl is that lowering my standards? Sure my dad says I can do better. Even my firends say I lack morals and standards. Not like I am dating someone who is morbidly obeas or a BEAST! I myself am 10-15lbs overweight which you cna;t tell and is not much. I am going to hit the gym this week.
 Kayaker45
Joined: 6/24/2007
Msg: 99
view profile
History
At what age do we lower our standards on dating?
Posted: 2/17/2008 3:50:40 PM
Just getting more picky with age. I think our lowest standards are when we're young. Still, if you believe that the best and the brightest are the "good looking" then maybe you NEED to grow up a bit.
 sin2gether2
Joined: 8/18/2007
Msg: 100
At what age do we lower our standards on dating?
Posted: 2/17/2008 4:07:38 PM
I have very high standards.
That is why I'm single.
 haywiresue
Joined: 9/27/2006
Msg: 101
At what age do we lower our standards on dating?
Posted: 2/17/2008 4:35:18 PM
You lower your standards when you give up on yourself, quit believing that what you want is out there, and you compromise on what you believe you deserve in a relationship.

I have always believed that the right man for me, is the one who has the effect on me, that makes me not want to look any further at other men. For me, that pretty much sums it up and I dont think you could ask for much more. Now, how long this feeling will last depends on the chemistry and interaction between us.

Every man I meet who is not "the one" puts me one man closer to the one who is.
 fishareplenty
Joined: 1/29/2008
Msg: 102
At what age do we lower our standards on dating?
Posted: 2/17/2008 8:37:44 PM
I will never lower my standards! Been single for a few years now after 29 years of marriage, life could not be better. I have 3 female activity/sport partners for different times of the year. Now if I could wrap all three into one that would be great. I’m not willing to spend all the year with a person I enjoy being with one third of the time. I don’t require a companion to do my laundry, cooking or cleaning the toilets… I can do those myself. I am very comfortable being by myself, as I like who I am… Do you need a ‘significant other’ to complete you???
 Kelley-88
Joined: 2/7/2008
Msg: 103
At what age do we lower our standards on dating?
Posted: 2/17/2008 9:17:49 PM
let's raise the standards, lol
Logic dictates that my standards will never be higher than they are now. How is it possible that they could be any higher? I have the maximum number of choices to choose from. As I age more and more of the good men will have been taken. By the mid twenties most of the best men have been taken. By thirty 80 percent of the best men will have been taken.

After that a few get recycled and but half or more of the divorced men are rejects. Most of the good ones soon remarry and most likely to younger woman. As I age, if I am unmarried and wish to marry, I will have no choice except to lower my standards to include men that now I would throw rocks at.
 FluffyBrain
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 104
At what age do we lower our standards on dating?
Posted: 2/19/2008 7:13:15 PM
OP,

I believe as life goes, one's standards get higher. Not willing to "settle." In additon, the more education a woman has, the choosier she is. The only bad part is it literally limits the people one would consider. Back in my high school days, a cute, smart jock would do. Now, if he doesn't have a PhD and fairly cute to boot, I don't even consider it. Guess that limits the choices. Would rather be alone than settle for anything less. The good thing about being alone, BTW, is no one os breathing down my a*s to live up to their expectations - nor do I have to exhaust myself breathing down someone else's a*s. What I want is a part-time BF (faithful and exclusive to me, of course!).

On the other hand, as life marches on, I sometimes wonder if I can afford to be so picky. Then again, I ain't about to settle. It's either 100% or 0 as far as I'm concerned!
 FeistySam
Joined: 6/22/2007
Msg: 105
At what age do we lower our standards on dating?
Posted: 2/20/2008 5:58:04 PM
never ever ever lower your standards for "fear" of not meeting a life partner!!! i mean... as long as your standards are within reason and understand that theres nobody perfect out there, you have every right to have and keep your own standards. you know what you can live with and what you cant live without. patience is key! sooner or later, The One, will find you... or you will find him/her.

with patience, you will catch your big fish!

 forum101
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 107
view profile
History
At what age do we lower our standards on dating?
Posted: 2/21/2008 11:24:24 PM
wow, I think it is really just the opposite. The older I get the higher the standards are, and the less I overlook, the less I will compromise on.
 BKLYNBOY1
Joined: 6/30/2005
Msg: 112
At what age do we lower our standards on dating?
Posted: 2/22/2008 3:45:35 PM
standards ? we don,t need no stinkin standards
 rdcnorm
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 114
At what age do we lower our standards on dating?
Posted: 2/23/2008 10:42:46 AM
Standards, or a set of values that we hold to be true to ourselves. As our lives change, we should always be reexamining ourselves. What we believe today may not be the same as it was 5 , 10 or even 30 years ago. By that I mean, yet exstream, if some one had a value that the death penalty was wrong at age 20, yet at age 50 something profound happened to them and now might believe the death penalty is justified.

We all have a set of core values, what we need, what makes us happy, who we strive to be. We may choose our friends, because of common interests, common values, common ideas, yet there are many differences, so we compromise to keep our friendships healthy and growing. On the other hand, if the core values we not similar, most likely there would not be a bond of friendship. I believe the same holds true for relashionships. Yet one of the main differences is, physical attraction, what each has to offer in a true heartfelt connection as a long life partner. Similar ideas of raising children, whats more important, money or spending time together etc etc. What we are willing to compromise on, such as some men might want a woman who has red hair, or is 5'4" are those really standards or values. I know the question stated standards/perfection however I read it as values. Our core values should only be changed for the better. That comes with an open mind. Our standards change with time. Perfection is a matter of perception.
 DenaliDadd
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 116
At what age do we lower our standards on dating?
Posted: 2/23/2008 11:06:02 AM
I wonder how many of us really know what our standards are. Or what ANY standard is, for that matter. After reading these posts, I think most of the writers are talking about desireble characteristics, not standards. And of course those desireable characteristics are going to change over time and as we age. Would ANYBODY really reject a mate because she wasn't blonde, or he wasn't at least 5'10"? I think not. If Tom Selleck was a little bit overweight, how many women would say "no" to a date with him? And how many men would say "no" to a date with Tyra Banks just because she's tall and African-American?

Not many, I think.

On the other hand, am I looking to date a woman that is taller (barefooted) than me? No. But those aren't standards. They are desireable characteristics. If a car or some other manufactured good doesn't meet some international standard, it is rejected. Period. Not so with human relationships.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  >