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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong righ      Home login  
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 KrazyChikk
Joined: 7/11/2013
Msg: 144
What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong right away? Page 10 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
I'm doing the 'coming on strong' right now...not as in feelings but as in 'come on man, I'm hot for you let's meet''!
I'm far from passive and have no desire to play the chasing game. I'm into him..I want to meet and I'm letting him know right off the bat. A little more aggressive than my normal self but he's freaking turning my crank! Will see how it goes....
 KratosSpawn
Joined: 10/24/2010
Msg: 145
What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong right away?
Posted: 10/11/2013 11:34:35 AM
He/She is desperate. Getting into a relationship and sharing you life with someone is a big step. To immediately want to engage in that with wanting to learn who this individual is shows a failure to logically process things outside of feelings.

Doing too much too soon is a common case of failing to be on the same page. you should always be aware and trying to maintain the balance between you two. As you progress together...you can be on the same level of emotion consistently.
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 146
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What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong right away?
Posted: 10/11/2013 3:31:38 PM
I have no idea what that would be like. I've never met any woman who ever came on strong at all. I really don't think one exists.
 liketo
Joined: 12/20/2011
Msg: 147
What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong right away?
Posted: 10/13/2013 3:23:34 PM
To the Op. i think most people are afraid. Especially those who are still on this site. Negative thoughts can really hinder ones attempts to move forward.
Imagine Howard Hughes saying to his top aides, " we better think about building that new plane for another 6 months or year".
 or_current_resident
Joined: 6/3/2013
Msg: 148
What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong right away?
Posted: 10/14/2013 8:02:47 AM

Doing too much too soon is a common case of failing to be on the same page. you should always be aware and trying to maintain the balance between you two. As you progress together...you can be on the same level of emotion consistently.


I think we would all agree in a person who comes on too strong at first Is NG.
And if you find some one who is attractive & personable, is good start but hoping too the other finds u equally as well. And if u think to be with more then just a friend, great & proceed gradually.

As imo, the best of relationships take there time in savoring its togetherness together ......cheers
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 149
What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong right away?
Posted: 10/14/2013 8:53:15 AM
If they're hot, what's the problem? :)

ok, seriously, some people will be thrown off b/c its not normal for them to get chased. they'll wonder how soon the other shoe drops. but, an intelligent person can read another person real quickly. They know what they want, they know what it looks like, they know how it will act and respond. for example, if someone needs me to trust them immediately...why? what does it do for them? what need does it fill?
 or_current_resident
Joined: 6/3/2013
Msg: 150
What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong right away?
Posted: 10/14/2013 5:02:41 PM

for example,If they're hot, what's the problem? :)


Maybe that is their problem.....or maybe it's not in their emotional mo, in why they can't have another,[SO] in a emotional and personal relationship with after dating for some time.......


for example, if someone needs me to trust them immediately...why? what does it do for them? what need does it fill?


imo,trust is earned, & unless your don't care who your with, then trust & respect would be secondary......jmo
 forums48380
Joined: 2/10/2013
Msg: 151
What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong right away?
Posted: 10/14/2013 6:46:30 PM
Read this
http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/fast-forwarding-when-someone-speeds-you-through-dating/
 quirky_charm
Joined: 8/9/2013
Msg: 152
What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong right away?
Posted: 10/15/2013 10:20:50 PM
Sometimes I think it is just a fluke when people do this. I was recently guilty of coming on too strong. In my case, I think it was just bad timing. I don't even like dating, I met an awesome guy, said something wrong, he got hurt, and I tried to "fix" it by being overenthusiastic about how much I like him. I am pretty sure I scared him. He won't talk to me, but is still checking my profile, (upgraded memberships allow you to see that.) What the heck does that mean? Right?
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 153
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What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong right away?
Posted: 10/16/2013 8:56:19 PM
As a qualification to my earlier post, the only women I've ever known to come on strong were drug addicts or alcoholics.
 Aura1shine
Joined: 3/2/2011
Msg: 154
What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong right away?
Posted: 10/17/2013 1:35:41 AM
It depends on each individual. I like someone whom focus and known about own feelings rather than drag out the time on playing fields.
 Steam_Engenius
Joined: 8/20/2013
Msg: 155
What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong right away?
Posted: 10/17/2013 6:23:31 PM
Usually, I find that guys who come off strong at first are usually full of crap and are after sex. In women, I feel that coming on strong is a bit desperate. Just my perceptions here.
 KratosSpawn
Joined: 10/24/2010
Msg: 156
What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong right away?
Posted: 10/18/2013 5:02:35 PM
Don't Come on Strong. It shows a lack of emotional control, inexperience, and few dating options. always run at a steady speed to figure out who you are engaging. Thinking of marriage or exclusive relationships is a sign of someone who is so in love with the idea of being in love that the person who they fall for doesn't matter.

Don't Be That.
 Peppermint_Petunias
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 157
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What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong right away?
Posted: 10/19/2013 2:34:12 PM

What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong right away?


He has good taste
Knows what he wants


Do you assume they are just desperate for a relationship with ANYONE?


No, if he is smart, good looking and not a bum.


That they are in love with the idea of love?


I think that's fabulous..To love being in love.



Do you think that most times when someone "falls in love" this easily they can fall out love just as easily?


Naw, esp if you wow them in bed and OFTEN.

Hooked.

Any more questions?
 Secondhand_Lion
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 158
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What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong right away?
Posted: 10/21/2013 12:56:04 PM
I've had a few of those.....just made me wonder how many weeks pregnant they were, and where was the real father?
 the_biggavell
Joined: 7/9/2012
Msg: 159
What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong right away?
Posted: 10/22/2013 4:24:56 AM
Honest.

Plain old honest and taking the risk of being honest...

when people really want to be lied to
 RoaminIrish
Joined: 10/13/2013
Msg: 160
What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong right away?
Posted: 10/25/2013 8:36:44 AM
Nearly all people who come on strong have only one or more of three basic reasons: they are in love with being in love, they are desperately afraid of being alone, and/or they have a mental health issue that they can only hide for a very short time and so they try to "secure" the other person before the other person wises up.

Nearly always, the people like this have no idea that's why they are the way they are. They think it really is love and that somehow, they can actually tell that you are everything they ever wanted. (There may be a few who are actively and intentionally trying to con you, but that is actually pretty rare).

The good news is that the "solution" or proper response is, in all cases, the same: give it time. Don't mistake lust for love, don't give money, don't move in or let them move in, don't trust your kids with them, etc., etc. Keep up strong boundaries even if you are having fun with them. Date them, sleep with them, whatever you want. But keep your lives separate.

The reality is, most relationships won't last more than a few months, regardless of how they start. If you are enjoying what you have, you might as well enjoy it while it lasts--but keeping up those firm boundaries is essential for when it ends, b/c you don't want or need entanglements. You want to be able to cut contact immediately and completely when you decide it is necessary.

If, on the other hand, knowing that the other person is coming on strong turns you off--then why would you continue with them? It can be creepy and a huge turn off. So don't feel the least bit of guilt--walk away. Trust your instincts.
 rosewood_girl
Joined: 10/4/2013
Msg: 161
What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong right away?
Posted: 10/25/2013 1:13:36 PM
I think they do have some issues. Like those people who change their relationship status ever 3 months to a new person. It's ridiculous.
 janet1892
Joined: 7/9/2013
Msg: 162
What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong right away?
Posted: 10/26/2013 2:46:26 PM
I agree I met a man who came on strong right away and than started losing interest in me but lied when I called him on it usually if you have a feeling something is wrong it is!
 janet1892
Joined: 7/9/2013
Msg: 163
What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong right away?
Posted: 10/26/2013 2:51:46 PM
I met a guy like that turned out he was lying to me the whole time
 Theme_Pack
Joined: 5/3/2013
Msg: 164
What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong right away?
Posted: 10/28/2013 10:09:21 AM
Depends on why you are here. If it's Thursday and I would like to go out on a date or hangout with someone on Friday...I will ask in the first message...I have found people that just want to hangout have no issues meeting that Friday or even that same night....heck its only to go for a coffee, walk, or a few drinks....I use this site for its intended purpose....
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 165
What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong right away?
Posted: 10/29/2013 9:16:10 AM

If they're hot, what's the problem? :)

Actually, there would be very fewer problems. It doesn't take long at all sometimes for someone to develop a crush. And if they're too verbal about it, it can throw someone off... but it's not necessarily bad. I think a lot of it depends on how much "umph" is put behind it. To one person, too many comments about "us" too early is too much. To others, a bit fast, flattering, but hey, if they're hot -- that's fine. There are couples out there who hit it off with fireworks really soon and that had no negative effect on things. If they're hot & a great catch and they aren't psycho obsessed, but are emotionally into you real quick, I say don't run.

If it's Thursday and I would like to go out on a date or hangout with someone on Friday...I will ask in the first message...I have found people that just want to hangout have no issues meeting that Friday or even that same night....heck its only to go for a coffee, walk, or a few drinks....I use this site for its intended purpose....

I agree. That's different than the OP's concern, but somewhat similar. Some people expect to pen-pal for a while then meet, even though nothing's really real UNTIL ya meet. Mine as well get it out of the way if there's mutual attraction & like of what each other wrote.
 KrazyChikk
Joined: 7/11/2013
Msg: 166
What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong right away?
Posted: 10/29/2013 8:28:40 PM


What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong right away?

I take him for what's he's saying...
or...
I think he's a player.
Either way I choose my path.

Most of time I've got it figured out before it get's to that point.
 sweetpe4u
Joined: 11/4/2013
Msg: 167
What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong right away?
Posted: 11/12/2013 11:11:43 PM
I avoid them. I learned my lesson dealing with a klingon type who came on like gangbusters. People who come on too strong are usually needy, emotionally unhealthy and insecure.
 Crystal_Planet
Joined: 10/30/2013
Msg: 168
What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong right away?
Posted: 11/13/2013 4:53:12 AM
I avoid them. I learned my lesson dealing with a klingon type who came on like gangbusters. People who come on too strong are usually needy, emotionally unhealthy and insecure.


If they are pushing it forward way more quickly than necessary then yes, that may be the case. But like in Theme_pack's scenario (msg 252), I think that's totally cool. The whole "ten messages exchanged followed by 6 emails and no less than four phone calls in a space no less than 30 days" formula is utter bullshit and a complete waste of time. But it does speak volumes of a person's irrational fear.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong right away?