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 writerlychik
Joined: 1/30/2008
Msg: 24
What do you consider a loser?Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I concur with oloroso. Loser has such negative connotations and while we might not condone addiction, thievery, lying and such (all definitions provided for being a "loser"), if we have no insight into the life of someone dealing with addiction, who steals, lies, etc. then we can't really label him/her so harshly. Or, at least, we shouldn't. Who are we to judge? Are we all so perfect that we can stand superior and deem someone a loser?

There was another thread about hypocrisy in women in which the OP got blasted left, right and center for plagiarism and raising hell that someone of her age had no business doing. I thought her intention was honest, if a bit misguided, but it was the responses that astounded me. The worst ones seemed, to me, to be highly defensive, as if the OP had struck too close to home. And that's usually what our responses are about--anger masks fear, so perhaps some of these women feared, deep down, that they might be hypocrites and couldn't face that... I don't know. Some people haven't learned to develop personal insight, I mean, dig deep into themselves to figure out why they do the things they do, why they are the way they are (and some never will).

My point is, when we react strongly to another's perceived flaws and weaknesses, it's usually about fear of the same weaknesses/flaws in ourselves. Sound crazy? I don't think so...

So, to those of you who react strongly to your definition of what defines a "loser", think hard about why those qualities make a loser, and ask yourself why. The answers might surprise you.
 dlr1970
Joined: 1/29/2008
Msg: 25
What do you consider a loser?
Posted: 2/16/2008 7:17:29 PM
HE LIVES IN FLORIDA AND HIS NAME IS JOEL AND HE WILL ASK U TO MARRY HIM BEFORE EVEN MEETING YOU!!!!OH THEN CALLS YOU CRAZY WHEN YOU FIGURE HIM OUT.HMMMMMMMMMMMPH NOW THATS A LOSERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
 simplywhatever
Joined: 5/16/2007
Msg: 26
What do you consider a loser?
Posted: 2/16/2008 7:40:13 PM
someone who has a major addiction(drugs or alcohol)
someone who refuses to work(I dont care what the job is or what you make as long as you make an effort)
someone who degrades other people
someone that sleeps around
cheaters/ liars
someone that is abusive (physically or mentally)
 charisma9
Joined: 2/12/2008
Msg: 27
What do you consider a loser?
Posted: 2/16/2008 9:16:15 PM
That is a loaded question...
What I consider to be loser qualities may be winning qualities in someone else's eyes.
In my opinion, a loser is someone who has no goals in life...no ambition to better himself.
Drug addicts are losers because they can't deal with reality, so they resort to drugs to take the easy way out. However, I don't have problems with men who drink and/or smoke. We all like to party...we're human.
Men who are completley and utterly irresponsible are losers. Actions do have consequences folks...Deal with them!
Moochers...Major Losers. Get a job..make your own money. You are perfectly capable of it!

Please keep in mind that these are just my opinions and I'm sure they are very different from others classify as a "loser".
 Smart-Blonde
Joined: 2/26/2007
Msg: 28
What do you consider a loser?
Posted: 2/16/2008 10:12:32 PM
To me a loser is someone who lacks ambition and can't take care of his own life.
 Brian85BC
Joined: 1/5/2008
Msg: 29
What do you consider a loser?
Posted: 2/16/2008 10:40:01 PM
great, this is cool. so a guy who takes care of himself and his own life isnt a loser if he doesnt really have anyone?
 charisma9
Joined: 2/12/2008
Msg: 30
What do you consider a loser?
Posted: 2/16/2008 11:09:29 PM
No...he is not a loser by any means in my book.
 Lifeismycanvas
Joined: 8/7/2007
Msg: 31
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What do you consider a loser?
Posted: 2/16/2008 11:48:26 PM
I agree with most of the assessments here but I'll add one more:

a loser is someone that thinks everybody else is a loser.
 Kelley-88
Joined: 2/7/2008
Msg: 32
What do you consider a loser?
Posted: 2/17/2008 5:45:52 AM
A loser is any nice guy that lacks assertiveness, that wants to get married without me changing his mind and convincing him that is what he want to do, and likes and wants me more than I like and want him.
 wholesomeheart
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 33
What do you consider a loser?
Posted: 2/17/2008 6:13:22 AM

Alright ace. A loser, in my humble opinion, is a person who wallows in their own self pity, thinks the world owes them something, expects everybody else to help them out but will not do a thing to help themselves and blames everybody else for the situation (usually bad) that they are in.

Man, this is me since my divorce but so NOT me prior to it. I've run the extremes big time. It's not that I like being a loser but I seem to have poor resiliency and adaptability. Deeper than that though is the thought that I thought I was such a winner before but my ex left me so it has made me question what the hell a winner is. Why would someone leave a winner? What the world tells us is a winner must be illusionary. My winnings created huge losses. It shouldn't add up that way. If the thread was asking what a winner is I'd assume I'd be reading the inverse of what's here. I was that and it didn't work. Being a loser isn't working either though. It sucks.
 Lot Lizard
Joined: 2/13/2008
Msg: 34
What do you consider a loser?
Posted: 2/17/2008 7:14:07 AM
Someone who cannot take accountability for their actions
Someone who cannot be financially independent
Someone who cannot make independent decisions
Someone who does not hold down full time stable permanent employment
Someone who is not mentally stable
Someone who is chemically dependant
Someone who is emotionally dependant
Someone who does not think before acting or speaking
Someone who is selfish or thoughtless or has anger issues
Someone who has poor hygiene
Someone who lacks agitation, drive, motivation, determination
Someone who cannot give and take support when needed and offered
Someone who does not sets goals for themselves
Someone who stops growing and learning
Someone who doesn’t believe in compromise
Someone who wakes up every day dreading it
 Smart-Blonde
Joined: 2/26/2007
Msg: 35
What do you consider a loser?
Posted: 2/17/2008 8:23:03 AM
Brian, not everyone can make friends easily. I also think it is harder for guys to have friends than women. Men can have a ton of acquaintances but not good friends.

I have a female friend who I am her only female friend. Some reason she has a problem making friends with women. She has a few very close male friends, she just isn't able to open up to very many people on a friend level. It doesn't make her a loser, it is just an issue she has to overcome and deal with.

I have met guys who don't have friends, and the only thing I would say about most of them is that they tend to hang out at the local pub too much by themselves because of loneliness. Just don't fall into that and find better things to do with your alone time.
 vahbsc
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 36
What do you consider a loser?
Posted: 2/17/2008 11:14:11 AM
a guy that either bangs or attempts to bang every girl he sees. standards or not. guys that sacrifice their family time to chase tail.

if you need your veins, a nostril, or a stem to have a good time you're whack

a guy who's butt buddies with his friends all the damn time. i'd rather you be home playing video games than boppin your friends

a guy with 5 kids with 4 different women with 2 on the way, and or no/a fast food job

guys that only date a certain type of girl expecting to find love,

trophy wife searchers

oh how could i forget this. a guy that looks like $hit and expects you to slob his knob because he has what HE considered a nice car.


just to name a few
 digitalfever
Joined: 2/6/2008
Msg: 37
What do you consider a loser?
Posted: 2/17/2008 4:55:01 PM
Someone who lacks integrity and class.
 Mopar4ever
Joined: 11/26/2007
Msg: 38
What do you consider a loser?
Posted: 2/17/2008 7:02:45 PM
As a older guy let me tell you something i have learned over the years. I have learned not to pass judgment on anyone. You never know what has put a person where there at. Yes' there are some people that deserve what they get. But' at the same time there are people that have to deal with a bad situation the best they can. There are some people that are my age and live with there mother and dad because of some problem that maybe no one else knows about. I use to think a guy was a bum if he was old enough to live on his own and didn't. Until it happened to me. When you have things dealt to you and you have to learn how to deal with it the best you can then you learn the hard way not to pass judgment on someone else because one day you might find yourself in worse shape then the one you judged. Just my thoughts.
 Brian85BC
Joined: 1/5/2008
Msg: 39
What do you consider a loser?
Posted: 2/17/2008 10:12:56 PM
what about someone (young people) who maybe came from a broken home where the father/mother was an alcoholic/ drug addict and grew up in dire hell. would they be considered a loser if they were getting older and perhaps living poor? would they be considered a loser for being down/angry at times?

and I do understand some street kids are just plain lazy or whatever, but what about the ones who maybe had no chance growing up, are they scum in the eyes of the general population?
 Smart-Blonde
Joined: 2/26/2007
Msg: 40
What do you consider a loser?
Posted: 2/17/2008 10:56:05 PM
Only if they choose to live the same life as their parents. Then yes, they are copping out and being losers. But if that person picks themself up, moves forward and has a better life, then he becomes a champion. I don't think anyone should be judged by how they grew up, it is not their fault or choice. The main issue is how they continue to live their life after.
 _teetee_
Joined: 11/19/2007
Msg: 41
What do you consider a loser?
Posted: 2/17/2008 11:18:48 PM
I consider someone a loser if they have zero drive and ambition in life! I cant stand it f someones okay with sitting on their couch doing nothing but working at a job they hate for the rest of their lives...
 Addicted2forums
Joined: 12/12/2007
Msg: 42
What do you consider a loser?
Posted: 2/17/2008 11:25:44 PM
Sadly, Brian ... much of the general population isn't very understanding of those who have had tough circumstances ... at any time in their lives. Many will never understand ... especially those whose lives have run smoothly ... had a good home, got a good education, didn't fall prey to the addictions/vultures of society, enjoy(ed) good health, and got the better paying careers.

All a person can do is try to rise above any and all obstacles life throws at them, have a good heart/spirit/nature ... and no one has any right to call him/her a "loser".
 Mopar4ever
Joined: 11/26/2007
Msg: 43
What do you consider a loser?
Posted: 2/18/2008 1:58:52 AM
Addicted' I agree with you. It seems as if the longer time goes on the less understanding and judgmental people are. You can't judge a book or a person by the cover. I think we have to be willing to give each person a chance to show who they really are. I think some of us pass up a good man/woman just because of what we think we see. When what we should do is look inside that person and try to see what's there. Some guys and gals are just waiting for someone to come along that will give them a chance. When someone does come along and judge them and pass them up it just adds to the hurt making them feel more down. If we give that man/woman a chance and don't judge them who knows that person might make the best companion we ever had. Your right' There are a lot of people out there that have never had a problem with there job or health or anything. There lucky and don't know it. Not every one has luck like that. Are we any better than they are because we have had better luck? NO.
Just my thoughts.
 GeorgeJohnson
Joined: 6/24/2007
Msg: 44
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What do you consider a loser?
Posted: 2/18/2008 5:09:52 AM
A lot of people quickly label drug addicts as losers, basically because they can't "deal with reality". What about the many people who need anti-depressants to function?

Maybe the important thing is to be addicted to a drug that makes it easier to work 40+ hours per week and not go crazy lol

I envy people who can be content living at home and having no ambition. I've often wondered if some homeless people are happy with their life and just totally free from the judgment of anybody whatsoever... but it's cold at night most places so I doubt it. Most people with ambition aren't doing anything that significant anyway.
 JulietJuliet
Joined: 6/7/2007
Msg: 45
What do you consider a loser?
Posted: 2/18/2008 5:33:45 AM
A loser?
Doesn't work when they ARE capable of working.
Low self esteem.
Acts tough amongst their mates whilst they down grade people.
Disrespectful.
Prejudice.
Druggies and drinkers who will not accept help.
Think the world 'owes' them something.
 Ravenstar66
Joined: 8/27/2007
Msg: 46
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What do you consider a loser?
Posted: 2/18/2008 10:07:51 AM
A loser is a whiner who takes no responsibility for himself or where he is in life, does nothing but blame others or "circumstances" for who and what he is.

It's some who has given up trying to be a better person.
 wondering1980
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 47
What do you consider a loser?
Posted: 2/18/2008 10:16:13 AM
someone who:

fussy about spelling/grammar
who thinks they know everything
who thinks there hot/good looking
people who criticize others due to problems that can't be helped/controled
 jd28spot
Joined: 6/22/2006
Msg: 48
What do you consider a loser?
Posted: 2/18/2008 12:36:52 PM
Just wanted to chime in here and say......THANKS PEOPLE!!!! Always figured I fit into the "Loser" category until I read this thread. You have renewed my faith in the world!
(well, at least I will always be a loser when it comes to gambling....which is why I never go there anymore...lol)
Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Girl  > What do you consider a loser?