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 Desi1955
Joined: 9/28/2006
Msg: 39
why don't more guys give massages?Page 3 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

My hands are deadly weapons. One touch, and off to bed you go.
However, I use this knowledge for the good instead of the evil.


When it comes to massages, it's ALL good. I'm putty in his hands
 jimvonbaden2u
Joined: 10/11/2007
Msg: 40
why don't more guys give massages?
Posted: 2/22/2008 2:04:24 PM


I thought that guys are not supposed to be afraid of ANYTHING.
Ok... maybe lions, or tigers... but, soft, pedicured, pretty feet... with read toes...
Dang, where are all the foot fetishists when a gal needs them.
(Gal being OP, not moi... this is just a Public Service Announcement... no need to message me offering foot massage... I'm good. Thank you.)



You just pushed my button!

Seriously, most men are lazy, but usually will give a massage only if they think there is something in it for them!

Fortunately for me, the "something in it for them" is an opportunity for a LOT of physical contact in a potentially erotic way! Has worked for years, and thankfully for me most guys never do get it!

Jim
 SLAFFA
Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 43
why don't more guys give massages?
Posted: 2/23/2008 2:08:17 AM
It is simply MAGIC to give one to someone you LOVE. To me anyway. Or, get one for that matter.

And IFFFFFFFFF giving one before sex....!
 Mr. Good man
Joined: 1/10/2008
Msg: 46
why don't more guys give massages?
Posted: 2/23/2008 10:25:46 AM
I will give a massage if it is someone I truly care for.

Last relationship i was always giving massages, without expecting anything but cuddling on the couch later in return.

I can never relax enough to receive a massage, so I never expect to be given one.

It makes me feel like I am important to her and that I can touch her in a way nobody else can. It certainly helps with trust and can lead to better foreplay and more enjoyable sex if you feel a true connection with your partner.
 mcbobly
Joined: 8/28/2005
Msg: 50
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why don't more guys give massages?
Posted: 2/23/2008 11:28:01 PM
I can't speak for all guys, but I for one love to give massages. Just knowing they are enjoying me rubbing out their stress and massaging away their soreness and all that goes with it is so nice, for both of us. Good luck though OP, you'll find a good one, one day that not only knows how to do it right, but will enjoy doing it often for you.
 Onyxed
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 51
why don't more guys give massages?
Posted: 2/24/2008 3:50:52 AM
In my experience the "More Blowjobs = More Massages" didn't even come close to balancing out!
 Shylent
Joined: 10/2/2007
Msg: 54
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why don't more guys give massages?
Posted: 2/25/2008 1:48:03 PM
OP: pity your in canada and i'm in the usa and without a passport we would get along well lol.

I'm and affectionate person by nature, especially around people i like and am close with.
One of the ways i like to show affection or let someone know i like them and care is by massages.

Unfortunately i suffer from the same problem that you do. I end up giving them FAR more than i receive them. Like you i wish that wasn't so as i love to get them too.
For me massages are not a sex thing either they are an affection thing.

I think many people men and women both dont give them often is because they ARE work to the one giving them.
Even giving a 5-10 minute backrub gets my hands tired pretty quickly. that and it can be kinda boring. Then there is the knowledge factor, most people don't know how to.
Being able to give them though doesn't take much to do to learn to give decent/okay ones.
Just get some massages and try to duplicate what feels good on you and listen to the person your giving them. some people like em hard some like em soft ya have to be able to listen to the feedback receiver gives you. just like with sex. moans means your doing it right and OwOwOwOW! means your doing too hard or wrong for that person and a softer approach might be needed.

For any of y'all who like to get massages and you find someone who likes to give them, ya gotta give some back if you want to keep getting them.
Kinda along the same lines of "scratch my back and i'll scratch yours".
 Montreal_Guy
Joined: 3/8/2004
Msg: 56
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why don't more guys give massages?
Posted: 2/25/2008 3:32:49 PM
Any man should have the ability to give a good massage in his quiver of talents, if you want to really please a woman totally. Of course , some women are less into them than others.

After a long day, even something as simple as a properly done foot massage can work wonders. Turn down the lights, put on some soft music, and perhaps add some scented candles for additional effect.

Done properly, you can expect a smile to result on her face that you could not take off with a power sander.

The expectation of sex in return (at least right away) is not part of the equation in such instances, btw. That simply reduces it to "I'll do something for you, if you do something for me."

The enjoyment in both cases should come from the act in and of itself, and not any expectations of a reward for the thought.
 gjay1
Joined: 6/1/2007
Msg: 57
why don't more guys give massages?
Posted: 2/26/2008 1:41:48 AM
theres nothing so relaxing as a good massage- im a qualified massage therapist - its not my main job but i do it in my spare time and also for friends...
so of course most of the massages i do are entirely non-sexual but with that special someone (ok ages ago lol!!) i love to do a massage thats can lead anywhere we want it to....lovely to get one in return but not part of the deal!!
 smithwhitehawk1
Joined: 5/26/2007
Msg: 61
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why don't more guys give massages?
Posted: 3/8/2008 5:50:11 PM
I think you have to be willing to give a massage without expectation of anything in return, it is a gift of your skills and time you give to someone .To expect something
in return will cheapen the gift.
I do enjoy giving a message, and each one has to be as awsome as I can make it.It's
like a personal challenge for me.[that means Im not stoping until I turn you into
a stick of melted butter]and those sounds a woman makes when you do it right are plenty of payment.

I started about 10yrs. ago when a barmaid friend of mine asked me to try my hand
at it,taking over for someone that wasn't good at it.To explain a little she suffered
from Croans disease[hope thats spelled right] and had some painfull days from it.
It turns out I was a natural at it. she helped me learn what was good , and not , and
I was amazed at the power human touch had over her pain.Well I have spent the
last 10 yrs perfecting my craft. I have actually looked into getting my theropy
license, but the classes conflict with my work ,so for now it't tabled.
o. p . good luck in finding some one who can do this for you. If you get to
Troy ohio look me up ,you can have a rain check for one if you want it.
 Hairtrigger
Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 63
why don't more guys give massages?
Posted: 6/23/2008 9:12:59 PM

I don't get it, why is it some men flat out refuse to give them? Or if they do it's a lukewarm half hearted attempt which is usually along the lines of rub rub, okay sex now?


I can't answer for all guys, but I've always loved giving full-body massages. I think where it gets old is if the guy tries to give the woman pleasure and then feels that there's no reciprocity. It's not necessarily one-for-one -- massage=bj or whatever, but if, over time, things are grossly uneven, the guy loses interest. I know I do.
 Minau
Joined: 9/2/2007
Msg: 68
why don't more guys give massages?
Posted: 6/24/2008 11:27:35 PM
Huh...guys offer to give me massages all the time...and I'm the one saying...no thank you. My perspective is opposite...why are guys so big on massages :/
 Chuck65201
Joined: 11/19/2007
Msg: 70
why don't more guys give massages?
Posted: 6/25/2008 4:10:21 AM
Ya giving massages is more fun imo than getting as it helps her to relax and you gain tons of points as well. I have a lady who asks me for neck/shoulder massages all of the time and dam right I jump up and get to the job at hand.
 rdcnorm
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 71
why don't more guys give massages?
Posted: 6/25/2008 4:45:32 AM

Huh...guys offer to give me massages all the time...and I'm the one saying...no thank you. My perspective is opposite...why are guys so big on massages


That's an easy question to answer,, from my prospective,, to feel a woman's naked body beneath my hands,, as they slide along her curves , working out her kinks,, the softness of her skin,, Hmmmmmm,, not only is a massage very therapeutic, it's also very sensual.. from my experience good love making often follows,, but then again my mind is always in the gutter,,
 Chuck65201
Joined: 11/19/2007
Msg: 72
why don't more guys give massages?
Posted: 6/25/2008 4:55:07 AM
I gotta agree with rdcnorm on this one as if a lady asks you to give her a massage then it is obvious she trusts you to be a gentleman and take care of her needs as well. That guys is a nice sign of trust in you as first her friend and maybe the chance of more in the future if your friendship goes that direction.
 good_catch77
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 73
why don't more guys give massages?
Posted: 6/25/2008 5:57:19 AM
I love giving massages and I love getting them also. So if I give a s/o a massage I would love to have one back. But that's if I ask for one. Now its not do it for me and I'll do it for you. More along the lines of helping each other.

Best of luck to everyone
 LongAfterDark
Joined: 5/17/2008
Msg: 74
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why don't more guys give massages?
Posted: 6/25/2008 12:24:21 PM
When I'm into a girl I can massage her back for hours. Just pour some warm oil on there, lather her up, gently roll my hands over her smooth skin back and forth, mixing long, slow movements with short fast ones to untangle the knots.
 creativedisco
Joined: 5/18/2006
Msg: 76
why don't more guys give massages?
Posted: 6/25/2008 3:14:35 PM
For me, I actually like giving them. Sometimes, when I'm with a girl, I'll usually end up rubbing her shoulders or something like that. My problem is that I just can't do it for very long because of my right hand. I broke it shortly before I graduated college. So what would happen is that it would start to hurt after a while. Then, I'd just use my left hand, which would eventually get tired from pulling double duty, and then I'd have to stop all together.
 Minau
Joined: 9/2/2007
Msg: 78
why don't more guys give massages?
Posted: 6/26/2008 7:29:09 PM
That's an easy question to answer,, from my prospective,, to feel a woman's naked body beneath my hands,, as they slide along her curves , working out her kinks,, the softness of her skin,, Hmmmmmm,, not only is a massage very therapeutic, it's also very sensual.. from my experience good love making often follows,, but then again my mind is always in the gutter,,

Ya...I dunno..they don't do anything for me...besides I reallly don't like giving them...and you know they're going to want a massage in return...so I really rather not...
 bald1
Joined: 11/13/2005
Msg: 79
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why don't more guys give massages?
Posted: 6/26/2008 8:36:58 PM
I happen to love giving massages... what's more, despite having no formal training, I"m good at it. There's a certain trust when giving a massage. As the giver, you can cause pain, or relief with the slightest variation of pressure. It always amuses me to cause someone to become so relaxed that they fall asleep almost as soon as I finish.

For guys who get the jitters about giving a foot massage, provided she's not ticklish, a good foot massage can be heaven for a woman. There are nerve endings in the feet connected to the rest of the body. You'd be amazed at how quickly a headache can be relieved by simply massaging the tips of the toes.
 VinceRanok
Joined: 5/9/2008
Msg: 81
why don't more guys give massages?
Posted: 6/27/2008 12:05:52 PM
OP, a lot of people (not just men) are afraid to massage for the same reason they don't do other things - they don't know how. Most are too prideful to try and fail, then subsequently be embarrassed about the situation.

Personally I love giving and receiving at any time, most usually without the sex. I become much too relaxed if receiving, and usually wear my arms out if giving. People have often asked me why I don't do it for a living and I always say the same thing :

I cannot imagine having to put my hands on the back of a 400 lb hairy man... *shudder* and I know it would happen eventually...
 semitar7
Joined: 3/30/2006
Msg: 83
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why don't more guys give massages?
Posted: 6/28/2008 7:05:32 PM
I was told by a elderly neighbor years ago that "If you keep your woman happy, then she will try all the harder to keep you happy"...If a woman wants a massage from me, she doesnt have to ask twice. As long as that feeling runs both ways.
 guys4theforums
Joined: 6/9/2008
Msg: 87
why don't more guys give massages?
Posted: 6/29/2008 12:46:35 PM
Well a good back/body rub aids in helping someone relax. Just makes a person feel better too
 sparxarebad
Joined: 4/25/2008
Msg: 91
why don't more guys give massages?
Posted: 6/29/2008 7:26:29 PM
I think a lot of men, because of past relationships with women that might have been selfish are put out by it. I think that only God could ever tell you how many men have said the line "If I do that then she will expect it all the time!" The "that" being anything from massages to foot rubs to flowers or any pampering kind of treatment. I'm not defending them mind you. Personally I love doing that sort of thing for my special woman.

It's just too bad for me that I don't have anyone in my life right now. Hopefully God will bring someone into my life that I can do that sort of stuff .

 sparxarebad
Joined: 4/25/2008
Msg: 93
why don't more guys give massages?
Posted: 6/30/2008 6:22:14 AM
I think that's a big problem in a lot of relationships in our time. Too many people expect something from their partner. And when some kind of pampering is done and they start to expect it all the time it causes all sorts of troubles in the relationship. I like the idea of submitting to my future wife and her submitting to me. NOT in that perverted sense that I know so many people will see it when they read this but in the biblical sense of the word. Submission to your spouse is so much better than expectation in my mind.

Its a simple thing to remedy though...

All everyone needs to do is to get rid of the lies that we have come to believe that have been developed in us through out our lives. We believe these lies so much that they become the truth and then it clouds our judgement of what is happening in our present. We get triggered in the now because someone says or does something that stirs us up inside and brings back a belief or "core lie" from our past that causes us to feel strong emotions now. If we run away from someone or push them away or say "I would be happier if that person changed!" Then we are relying on someone else's behaviour to change for us to be happier. That will never happen because if you push that person away there will always be someone else out there and probably the next person to come along that will stir those emotions in you. So you have to go back and resolve the issue at the beginning. I've found a way of doing that and I'm a better man for it. The thing is that you have to believe in Jesus... (waits for the crowd to quiet down)... I was introduced to a healing prayer last year shortly after I was saved and it has definitely cleared up some of the lies that I believed about myself. What really blows me away is how much it has changed me. For example, I no longer get angry like I used to... the road rage that I used to experience is gone. Don't get me wrong, I still get angry if someone in another vehicle does something stupid, but I no longer carry that with me. I'm looking forward to my next relationship with whomever God brings into my life because from now on thanks to that prayer I no longer put the blame on other people. Now I take responsibility for my emotions and feelings. If I'm feeling some emotion then I know it is my emotion, my stuff and I have to deal with it. I just hope that the woman that God brings into my life will be interested in doing this kind of prayer, I believe that it will bring an awesome new level of intimacy and trust to that relationship. And then I also believe that there won't be an expectation of massages or flowers or whatever other pampering stuff. It will just be accepted as the gift that its meant to be. Well that's what I'm praying for, and not just because I love giving flowers and massages and footrubs. :)

Well good luck to everyone I hope you find your way in this crazy world.
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