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Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 24
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I write this with a heavy heart right nowPage 4 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I'm 47 and have never had a true friend. I don't think there is such a thing.
Joined: 1/29/2008
Msg: 25
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I write this with a heavy heart right now
Posted: 2/23/2008 11:24:56 AM
My friends (true or not) can be counted on one single finger. All those I had, left, and have their own lives where they probably have completely forgot I existed. Kind of sad, but that's the way life is.
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 27
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I write this with a heavy heart right now
Posted: 2/23/2008 12:06:38 PM
Life gets us in many situations where one shows true colour.
Just 2 weeks ago a friend of 20 odd years "looked at me through money" and hankered for a banknote in question, although there was nothing to negotiate about. 20 years of friendship has been wiped out like that and I still cannot believe how people can change and let money rule their lives.
But hey, money might buy a flashy car, an exotic holiday ... but a real friend is priceless.
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 29
As we get older, our true friends can be counted on one hand.
Posted: 2/23/2008 12:43:42 PM
original poster,
i think youve defined very well what to look for and avoid in a close friend. however, i dont think it's necessary to discard people in your life who are unable to honour you the way you honour them. i have two friends upon which i can depend absolutely, and a number of friends whom have demonstrated that i cannot. i still talk with them, and enjoy their company. i simply take note of what they are capable of, and i go into each situation with clear expectations. if you do not set the bar too high for them, they will not disappoint you. in turn, they cannot use you if you set healthy boundaries for yourself. of course along the way there will be conflict, and people grow apart, but keeping these principles in mind will help keep you off the losing end.

and about that, i do not look at my friends solely in terms of what they are providing to me, that is not the purpose of true friendship. in a social situation, to me the most important moment is right now, the most important person is who i am with, and the most important question is do i care. i worry more about my own standards of behaviour than those of the people around me and i think it shows. if people sense that you are in it for yourself, they will tend to treat you accordingly. this holds true for friends, lovers, coworkers, and complete strangers alike. i hope your luck turns around.
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