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 tallyover
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 354
for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?Page 23 of 25    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25)
Who determines "the male provider role"? Don't some males need that ego boost? Those are the ones that are insulted when I try to contribute. It seems silly to me to follow outdated role models when it comes to finances.
 forum101
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 355
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for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 4/1/2009 8:48:41 AM
I prefer to leave the money issue out of the relationship till things are a bit more serious. I make enough money, in a secure job, that I dont have to worry about tomorrow. I have a 401 K, good insurance. Still I would like to know going into a new relationship, we are in the same ball park, financially, and I can do this, just knowing his job title. I have raised my children alone, and still have a home of our own. I want, need to know, that he isnt going to blow alot of money, that he has some goals. A guy might make 250K a year, but a bit of a gambling or drug problem takes that, so what is the money worth after all?
For the record, I cannot stand for a guy to give me gifts, money or do things for me. I always look for the "catch", what do they expect from me. Oh, and the guy, insisting on wining and dining, showing off his money, total turnoff. No, Im not looking for money, just a decent, honest guy, who is on the same page I am, financially, spiritually, etc.
Some of the guys on here with your tricks, just sicken me. Your like kids, and a woman is suposed to trust and respect you after you pull one over on her? Reeks of "PLAYER", something I will not tolerate. But, I guess it's better to learn early on, than later.
 fancynanci
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 357
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for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 4/1/2009 3:19:28 PM
Money is never a factor for me. I have my own. I'm independent.
 sammylg
Joined: 12/20/2006
Msg: 358
for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 4/1/2009 4:22:45 PM
The ANSWER is OF COURSE MONEY IS A FACTOR!

It's not that women are gold diggers and attracted to rich guys, but also that women lose love when the going get's tough!

It is WELL DOCUMENTED that money is the biggest cause of Divorce in America. It is much higher than Adultery and Physical Abuse!

There was recently a story in USA Today about women who had to become the breadwinner after their husband loses their job in the current economy. All of them felt resentment to the husband/father who stayed home while they had to get the money and some of them were in marriage counseling when their man didn't find a job within 6 months.
 queen363636
Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 359
for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 4/1/2009 6:28:33 PM
I don't know about the money factor, Kevin, but I don't date guys that say ain't.
 claire64
Joined: 12/29/2007
Msg: 360
for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 4/1/2009 7:15:02 PM
It is not that money in particular is a factor - but at this point in our lives, shouldn't we be somewhat self-sufficient? I make a decent living and all I expect is to find someone who does the same. I don't want to be supported by a man - I just want one who can afford the same things I can. I was approached by a guy in his 40's who is a full time pizza delivery guy. Now if delivering pizza makes you happy - more power to ya. But come on!! I worked hard for my education and career and I just want to find someone who is equal in that. The long and short of it is that - no, men don't have to be millionaires to attract women. And if that is an element of attraction, then someone needs to reassess their repstionship.
 xeot
Joined: 10/25/2007
Msg: 363
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for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 4/1/2009 7:54:31 PM
The problem IMO is how 'wealth' is judged in this society. By and large it is judged on the consumer goods a person has. The amount of consumer goods a person has, for the the last decade plus, has been determined by his debt tolerance. A guy can look like he can support a certain lifestyle only for it to be entirely on credit.

Then again, so many women willingly and knowingly date deadbeats and leaches.....


PS: Now that the bust has finally arrived I thought it would be a time that those of us who were financially prudent could benefit. Instead we're gonna get the bill! I should have bought (leased?) the fancy cars and the no-money-down mcmansion! :) Could have gone from being desirable for my money to one of those exciting living on the edge deadbeats ;)
 colakitty
Joined: 12/1/2008
Msg: 366
for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 4/23/2009 1:40:45 PM
money isn't a factor... to an extent. the guy needs to be able to take care of his own finances. i'm not looking for someone to pay my bills and buy me shiny things all the time, however i don't want to be the one paying for everything either. as long as he can make ends meet and is independent, how much money he has doesn't matter.
 ImAHotMess
Joined: 7/11/2008
Msg: 367
for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 4/23/2009 2:20:49 PM
As long as the guy works and can share or help with responsibilities, I really do not care. Oddly enough, I have been the one spending all the money. My last so called date was over 700 dollars because someone "claimed" they had no money and told me his "so called" situation. I felt he was worth the risk to meet and pursue. So no, money is not an issue. Honesty and meaning what you say on the other hand is.
 Glenoran1
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 368
for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 4/23/2009 3:24:13 PM
Money is a funny thing. When I met my late husband, he was working a summer job and made about what I made. Came Fall, and he returned to teaching, and brought in 2/3 of the family income. I had a hard time with that, because I felt inadequate and guilty. It took a long time before we found a way for me to not feel like I was taking advantage. So the other person making more money does not always attract, but can embarrass the one who makes less. The good ones among us (male or female) like to feel we're equal partners, not being kept.
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 370
for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 5/1/2009 10:54:44 AM

There was recently a story in USA Today about women who had to become the breadwinner after their husband loses their job in the current economy. All of them felt resentment to the husband/father who stayed home while they had to get the money and some of them were in marriage counseling when their man didn't find a job within 6 months.


Perhaps it has more to do with the *well documented* fact that men draw so much of their image and sense of self-worth from their jobs that they tend to become abusive when they don't have that crutch? Child abuse and spousal abuse pegs when lots of men are out of work.

 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 371
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for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 5/1/2009 12:08:05 PM
Well fabricated, you mean.

Without a woman around a guy is fine with a book, a fishing pole, and a pair of pliers. That's about all he needs.

As soon as a woman enters the picture, the demands grow so big that a Wal-Mart superstore doesn't contain enough crap to keep her from having to shop for more, because enough is never enough. It's no coincidence that all the words "maternal", "matrimony", "mother," "material", etc. all derive from the old latin word "mater", meaning "matter", aka "stuff", as in "not spiritual".

So far as abuse goes, the first documented case of domestic abuse occurred when a prehistoric man was forced by his significant other from the safety of their cave with the command: "Get out there and kill something to eat, and don't come back empty-handed!" Only she doesn't see that as abuse.
 blackprince
Joined: 11/29/2004
Msg: 372
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for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 5/3/2009 1:27:30 AM
This is great question but i doubt very seriously if you will get a honest answer from 85 percent of the women who responds. The truth is money matters to women just like looks matter to men, but we will stick with money.

Most women find it beneth them to date some one making less than they are, in fact i have proof of this and i will give it in one or two paragraphs. No matter how much i here i dont need a man for money or material things i have to laugh, because its a bunch of crock. In fact when i read a profile and it says independent i skip and go to the next.

Now for my proof, this is a paragraph that I put on my profile from another dating site after receiving a shocking email from a woman who was interested in me and I her, but after i explained my personality and my life to her she abrubtly told me and I am parphrasing, "It sounds like your poor and i am to old too be poor," Now here is the update that i wrote and before this i was getting about 3 emails a day.

:Update please read: If you are about money and your life revolves around money, I am not the one for you. I make money so I can live, I dont live to make money. I work, I take care of mine, and I have a little left over to save for retirement, and take a vacation once a year, to me thats the key to a happy life. I am not your sugar daddy, I am not here to take care of you, I am looking for a lifetime parter, not a buisness deal.:

Now after i added that to my profile i suddenly became undateble the ones whom i was chatting after I posted that I never heard back from the two that we seem to have great conversations with.

So in truth most women will take money over love, even though they will deny it.
 blackprince
Joined: 11/29/2004
Msg: 375
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for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 5/3/2009 11:00:56 PM
How could you equate what i wroye as bitter, i just dont see it, also some one said it sounded like i was saying every man for himself. That was not the case at all.

Here is how this email went, she asked for a more indepth description of me, and i told her" I am a farther of two children one in college whom i help pay her tuition and the other is in highschool i pay my child support and we go away on fishing trips together. Then i told her i dont live to make money i make money so i can live. Thats when she said i sounded poor. Now how is it that i sounded bitter when she clearly was looking for money.

What i see is double standards in women when it comes to men, money and relationships. Also like i said 85 percent of women will not respond truthfully and the 15 percent that do, are real about what they are looking for and i can respect them for it.

What i heard from the two laddies was nothing more than to shift guilt onto some one else. It was a update aboutme and how i see money and life, nothing more and nothing less, in fact it is called honesty and if a woman does not want honesty then i dont want to be with her anyways.

Wow bitter i am the least bitter person in the world.
 mthomjmark
Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 377
for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 5/4/2009 12:22:39 AM

I just moved up into a whole new career level.....and coincidentally, I've had 4 ex girlfriends coming back around....even the ex wife tried to contact me. Now where was their interest when I was makin' 9 bucks an hour? Of course, at this point, I can't let them back in, but can you honestly say that security has no bearing whatsoever in your attracttion to a man?


You are beyond right; I rarely see a rich guy with an ugly woman.

What happens when you give women gifts? The first thing they do is take it to their friends to critique it.

Whats the first thing they talk about? that the guy has money or a great car.

Money and power are still the greatest aphrodisiac.
 Janet4ever
Joined: 4/14/2008
Msg: 378
for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 5/4/2009 5:50:29 AM

I rarely see a rich guy with an ugly woman.

If a guy wants to buy a woman, there are certainly many out there for sale. (and visa versa)

Many times I find men trying to use their possessions as the bait, so just like that woman posing in a bikini. You get what you're looking for... then complain about the lack of sincerity/respect you receive.

Not every woman is selling her soul and not every man is willing to pay for it.
 blackprince
Joined: 11/29/2004
Msg: 379
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for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 5/6/2009 2:47:22 AM
No i get labled biutter because i am willing to call people out on the BS, and i amn honest sometimes brutaly honest.

With a reply, how many of you women would date a man who worked at Burger King?
 Magic_Fish
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 384
for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 5/10/2009 6:25:58 AM
I guess it depends what stage of life you're at. 10-15 years ago money was very important to me. I was raising my son on my own (no financial support from his dad - not that I tried to get any). By the time my son was 12 he had visited the Maritimes numerous times, had a ton of Legos, because I made every penny count.

I've reached a point in my life where I have disposable income, so money is no longer an issue. As long as he has the means to support himself (and his toys), I'm good with that. Besides, I'm more interested in his a$$ than his a$$ets.

Having said that, if there comes a time in a relationship, where there are shared living arrangements, then things would/should be different. I believe that each partner should have his/her own bank account with a different, separate 'joint' account for the maintenance of the 'roof over our heads'. And each other's contributions should be made in a timely fashion. I would hate to nag about bills coming due and insufficient funds the the account, and I would hate to be nagged as well.

Just my 2 cents,
MF
 El_Mariachi
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 385
for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 5/10/2009 7:05:20 AM

With a reply, how many of you women would date a man who worked at Burger King?


I probably would. Burger King is one of the only fast food burger joints I'll still indulge in.

blackprince, your ability to take the way one woman treated you and extrapolate that to all other women and decree that therefore all we care about is money... would be why people are staring to label you bitter.

I never fail to be amazed that someone can take one act and decide that EVERYONE must act the same way. Even though it seems to happen on a daily basis on this forum.
 fancynanci
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 389
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for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 5/10/2009 12:10:21 PM
Money doesn't impress me at all. CHARACTER impresses me.
 terri368
Joined: 4/28/2009
Msg: 390
for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 5/10/2009 12:39:18 PM
I wouldnt couldnt and never have dated a guy for money..

To me Money doesnt make you happy it just makes life easier. I would rather be happy and struggling then miserable with lots of money, besides that.. I have my own money .

And money isnt what makes a guy attractive either.. its his personality, smile, and ability to keep a smile on my face by just him being himself!
 whothehellknows
Joined: 7/23/2006
Msg: 393
for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 5/10/2009 10:21:26 PM
As long as a people can pay their own bills and be responsible, I don't think money is a factor for the vast majority of people. Obviously it counts for something because no one likes to be involved with leeches or the chronically 'can I get a loan' people, but it's not a big deal.

I have found most of the people who claim women are only after money are those who aren't responsible and blame their money issues for the lack of social life success. It's the lack of responsibility that is unappealing, not the lack of funds.
 TheReason_
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 399
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for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 7/14/2009 10:34:28 PM
I have never been asked how much I make, by anyone.
 professora
Joined: 7/28/2008
Msg: 400
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money a factor?---depends on the earner
Posted: 7/19/2009 5:08:34 AM
Money is a factor if the money earner is nice, wholesome, genuine and kind.

It's worthless if the earner is a sociopath, a narcissist or has any other destuctive behaviors.
 jess92
Joined: 5/28/2009
Msg: 401
for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 7/20/2009 2:03:42 PM
I say yes and no. If you make enough money to take care of yourself and dont live with your mom and dad still and can take care of financial needs then no its not a factor. It is a huge factor if you have a part time job and are a lazy ass. I guess it depends on if you have goals and what not. But yes there are girls that wont date guys who dont make alot of money. Im on the in between I wouldnt just date a guy for his money but he cant be a paper dilevery guy and thats it if you know what I mean. But I know lots of girls who are so called gold diggers. I dont think thats rite.
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