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 pelmary
Joined: 2/16/2008
Msg: 88
for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?Page 3 of 25    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25)
I think it is a big factor. If a man doesn't have his sh*t together enough to have a profession and a lifestyle by my age, then he never will. I have been married twice to blue collar workers and made twice as much as they did at the time. We both hated it.
No matter how much I minimized it they felt intimidated. The real problem is that I felt like I had to minimize my potential. And yes I have been single for a long time.
 decentandsexy
Joined: 11/30/2006
Msg: 89
for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 3/2/2008 5:22:28 PM
I can say money is not an issue with me.Money can not buy love.
 1frantastic
Joined: 9/15/2007
Msg: 91
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for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 3/2/2008 6:43:15 PM
bucsgirl...you said it very clearly and to the point....depends on what you are looking for! That is the key ingredient!
I was left by my last husband because my $$$ ran out! I never had that much to begin with...but after surviving being run over by an 18 wheeler and getting a settlement, and then "finding a new romance" I was blind to the "gold digging" situation...and when I announced that I was not going to pay for groceries any more or stuff since he quit working...suddenly he left for greener pastures ....so yes $$$$ always plays a part in it....the reason why differs though.
As long as two people can agree on whatever the money arrangement is comfortable for them...then it is all ok...if not mutually agreeable and UNDERSTSTOOD ....then it is only a problem waiting to happen!

 ohio stinger
Joined: 8/16/2006
Msg: 94
for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 3/2/2008 7:12:45 PM
hello steve from ohio i pay child support wekkly right under 600 a month i pay med on my kids and am a supper dad i get them on my weekends and on hers and yes mabe all women ant same when it comes to money i gave up 170,000 dollar home for my kids tyo have a roof and took 20,000 in bills so she wouldnt struggle her problem was money (crazy) not to mention the guy she moved in 2 weeks after i left maybe some day ill find that woman so far no luck still wants the money and i dont from them thats the main problem in this world is money
 longlegs32
Joined: 10/31/2007
Msg: 102
for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 3/4/2008 5:14:15 PM
hi

iam longlegs32, i will tell you the guy has to sute my fancy. like the same
things, and there has to be chemistry. all the money in the world
doesn't make you fall in love with someone, if there isn't something
there.
 longlegs32
Joined: 10/31/2007
Msg: 103
for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 3/4/2008 5:15:24 PM
i agree. longlegs32
 runningdoe
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 104
for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 3/18/2008 4:21:26 PM
I make my own money, thank you very much.
 WesternRose
Joined: 1/14/2008
Msg: 105
for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 3/25/2008 11:05:10 PM
As long as we stick to the rule that:
What is Mine is Mine and What is Yours is Yours...then we will be fine.

I was in a relationship of What is Mine is Yours for 26.5 years..... and you know what?... it did not work out so well for me or the kids. I learned my lesson well.

I came from money...don't have much now... I live a frugal life...always have.
I understand the difference between My Needs and My Wants....and live accordingly.

Money has never defined who I am. I am a very generous person, just my nature.
I do not scorn or find fault or envy those who have money. I am happy for them, I say you earned it ... you have it now...enjoy it and all the very best to you.
Yes, I do envy them actually....all the things you can do with a bit more money...but it is a positive feeling.

so.. yeah... truthfully... if he has money...not a factor...but if he does not have money and is a leech.... I am not interested.
 El_Mariachi
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 107
for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 3/26/2008 9:49:00 AM
I don't know why this question is allowed to pop up over and over and over.

It's not a factor to many many women. Does that fact need to be restated in every available language and mass e-mailed to the men of the world before it can be comprehended?

And FYI... when you do come across a woman who isn't one of the many who deem money to NOT be a factor... you're dead right on to avoid those women. As if they had the plague, in fact. No one with an ounce of brain matter would fault you for it.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 110
for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 3/31/2008 8:05:34 AM
I just moved up into a whole new career level.....and coincidentally, I've had 4 ex girlfriends coming back around....even the ex wife tried to contact me. Now where was their interest when I was makin' 9 bucks an hour? Of course, at this point, I can't let them back in, but can you honestly say that security has no bearing whatsoever in your attracttion to a man?

I can honestly say how much HE makes is not a factor, as long as it doesn't affect me (and being that I plan to live alone and stay out of the marriage market there's really no way it would). How much I make however, will always be a factor, I'll expect to make no less than the most I can bring it at any given time in my life, so that I can always take care of myself. I would expect the same of a guy I was dating, and most men do take care of themselves, so it's not an issue.

The only one that can EVER provide security for me is me. Ever...I come from a family that I can't trust, so in my case I never hand the control to anyone else.

Also, some women worry about stuff like this but I don't; I don't feel I need to take a man I am dating with me on vacations or expensive trips or whatever that I have interest in embarking on - if I want to go and he can't afford, I won't force him to spend the money and come with. I enjoy my own company and have friends for that if need be.

If at $9/hour you're not for me, then at $40/hour you're still not for me. I don't see what making money has to do with a guy being the wrong guy.
 SapphirePoet
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 111
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for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 3/31/2008 8:10:45 AM
I once dated a guy that had lots of money, wanted to buy me a new car etc....
He was sweet but there was no physical attraction at all, he reminded me of my Dad, when he tried to kiss me I felt like I was kissing my Dad, ewwwww!
So I broke it off. All of my friends told me I was crazy, that he would take good care of me blah blah blah. I am sorry that is just not me, I couldn't do it.

Both of my ex husbands were broke working class guys. I ended up in much worse financial condition after the divorces than before, trying to raise my girls alone with little or sometimes no child support. No homes, no equity to share, nothing.

So no for me money is not a factor as long as he has a job and can support himself.
I think it is the younger women who are more focused on the money than us old gals are, we usually can take care of ourselves and aren't looking for someone to support us.
 flyonthewall!
Joined: 3/31/2008
Msg: 112
for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 4/5/2008 8:21:46 AM
Money isn't important, but in a marriage or marriage type relationship fiscal responsibility is.
 El_Mariachi
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 113
for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 4/5/2008 8:32:44 AM

ALLOWED? Are you the topic police? The sheer number of posts should indicate that people care about the subject.


I guess that rule about not posting the same threads over and over is just for kicks. In fact.. it's absolutely NOT allowed on this site. People keep posing it over and over because they're under the erroneous impression that it matters to everyone. Never mind that other more sane people keep insisting that it doesn't... lets have the same threads over and over about this topic.. sure. Ok. How hard would it be to add these thoughts to the existing thread on the topic? Apparently VERY hard.

My money concerns me. All of your finances is of no interest to me and frankly, I'm tired of hearing from the men and women who think it does or should interest me.

It's more of a concern to me that people can't seem to follow a very simple rule about posting multiple threads on the same topic than whether they're interested in my income.

Don't get on my case because people can't seem to read and digest the rules.


True, but the trick is finding out before she manages some sort of legal claim on your assets.


It's not much of a trick. It's not as hard as everyone makes out.
 fossape
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 114
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for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 4/5/2008 8:36:51 AM
'I just moved up into a whole new career level.....and coincidentally, I've had 4 ex girlfriends coming back around....even the ex wife tried to contact me. Now where was their interest when I was makin' 9 bucks an hour? Of course, at this point, I can't let them back in, but can you honestly say that security has no bearing whatsoever in your attracttion to a man?'

At the risk of sounding sexist, or a pig, money is the food of today, or the resource gathering element, the proof one is worthy of having a family with.....however this has all changed in recent years (10yrs or so), in the whole role reversal skit, women are gathering their own resources now, is why there is a general trend is for older women to date younger men.
 lucilou
Joined: 3/18/2006
Msg: 115
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for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 4/5/2008 8:47:40 AM
Money is not a real issue to me, i can make my own money its only secondary which means and hoping he has a stable job that can support himself, 2 income is better than one in a relationship. Money is a necessity in life with out it we all cant survive its just practical that women consider money as one of the issue when looking for a relationship. He doesnt have to make big bucks but enough that it will be sufficient enough to make a living. My 2 cents on this matter. Lucilou
 curlyhairedgirlva
Joined: 3/11/2008
Msg: 117
for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 4/5/2008 9:48:32 AM
Money is little/no factor. I make a good (but not super-huge) salary working in computers and have dated guys with half my income. If a guy I'm dating makes a lower income, it helps me get a little bit more into living simply and saving money. In those cases, I have no problems paying for some of the dates.

The income matters far less than whether a guy spends less than what he earns. Debt is what turns any income into a problem.

I draw the line at supporting a guy who doesn't have a job and "loses" his wallet on a regular basis.

I am interested in exploring a lot of things in life. Not necessarily expensive things, but having a little money opens options. That makes dating/having friends who make 1/4 of my income difficult. I may "hang out" a lot, but I will probably pursue my other interests on my own.

If a guy has a huge income, I think that he probably works too much and won't have time for me. Or that there will be expectations if he gives me gifts.

And I need to get off the computer now to hurry and get ready for my date tonight with a guy who makes less than me.
 fancynanci
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 118
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for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 4/5/2008 9:57:57 AM
Yes. I don't care about a man's bank. I have my own. I care about his character.
 hopeforyou
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 119
for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 4/5/2008 9:58:16 AM
Money isn't a factor. Using "aint" is.
 Mertz
Joined: 2/2/2006
Msg: 120
for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 4/5/2008 10:09:24 AM
It's not the money, they see you doing better and progressing in your life in a way that doesn't involve them. That's like catnip.

Now go get a hot new girlfriend and every ex you've ever had will start ringing you up.
 littleaudrey
Joined: 1/17/2008
Msg: 121
for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 4/5/2008 12:20:59 PM
Yes, I can say money ain't a factor.

The problem isn't the ladies; the problem is that you're picking these ladies, probably because of the way they look which seems to be most men's priorities.

Don't complain that ALL women are gold-diggers just because the ones you've happened to choose are gold-diggers. Some women are not after a man's money, and some men see past a pretty face.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 122
for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 4/5/2008 12:21:00 PM

I am interested in exploring a lot of things in life. Not necessarily expensive things, but having a little money opens options. That makes dating/having friends who make 1/4 of my income difficult. I may "hang out" a lot, but I will probably pursue my other interests on my own.

I agree with this. I don't care if someone doesn't have a lot of money, so long as he doesn't mind me doing things that are more expensive with friends, or alone...I would never expect to do those things with him, but I'm not giving them up because he can't go, or participate.

If a guy has a huge income, I think that he probably works too much and won't have time for me. Or that there will be expectations if he gives me gifts.

I have a busy life so the time thing isn't a concern as much as the obligation of what he thinks comes with that money. Any man I've ever met who had money (and I only knew they did because they made it clear they did) expected that they run things or controlled more than I did while dating because of that. They used it as a tool to get what they wanted. Ick...total turn off.

P.S. I dated men who had a lot of money but never mentioned it, and didn't flaunt it - there's no real way for a woman to ever know this about you unless you make it obvious. My ex is an example of this - he's a humble hard working trade guy who's just saved/invested well because he's smart about it...you'd never suspect it of him by looking at him.

Digging deeper, this doesn't mean a man needs to be rich. I have dated men with less money than myself, for one reason or another, and never had a problem with it. They have. So it appears, for men to be secure, they need to have money and lots of it.

I have to say, this is very true - as much as most men don't want a woman to care what they make, when they find one that doesn't, they can't deal with her if she makes more than he does.

The flipside of that coin is, rich men come with waaaaay more caveats. It's as if the money entitles them to behave in a manner unbecoming a human being. I was on a date (different from dating this guy) and he actually asked me for my FICA score. It took everything I had not to get up from that table feigning the bathroom to just leave investment-banking a$$ sitting there. *SMH* I think rich men are women's version of the 'high-maintenance/pretty woman' men often bellyache about. It is as if they think, having loads of money makes them better or more attractive. LMAO. That attitude alone, is enough to make any self-respecting woman bounce, which I did but after dinner. (And yeah, he paid.)

It is unbecoming if you're a rich male and you have that attitude. Personally, I think those men should stay away from the dating pool and just hire someone, that way they can demand whatever they want for the money they're making such a big deal about.

Most decent women don't care enough about money to put up with arrogance and rudeness...
 cowtrucker
Joined: 5/20/2007
Msg: 123
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for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 4/5/2008 4:45:47 PM
You Bet I can say that (a man's) money isn't a factor. As long as he has a job or is able to support himself and his own bills and not depend on me to do so. Most... of us, are constantly moving Up the ladder of life, and with that, comes higher salaries. When you like someone today, in 5, 10, 15 years, things change. Jobs may come and go, and if someone was only attracted to the checkbook, then it's going to be a short lived relationship.

As far as bringing home a paycheck, I do that successfully on my own. I don't ask for a guy to be rich or whatnot, only that he lives a similar lifestyle, enjoy the same things in life, and have something in common with me... Hopefully that's not too much to ask for...

CowTrucker
Chapman, Kansas
 opnmydm
Joined: 3/23/2008
Msg: 125
for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 4/6/2008 1:08:32 AM
if money is a factor with people, it goes to show how shallow a person can be and i stay away from people like that, i never would tell anyone how much i made, if you are totally open to finding true love, nothing should matter.
 gonzofanmel
Joined: 10/3/2006
Msg: 128
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for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 4/14/2008 3:52:22 PM
I don't care how much money a guy makes, as long as he has a job and can take care of himself.

Let me put it to you this way......the one guy I dated worked in a convenience store. Another one worked two jobs--as a waiter and in retail. And I made more money than both of them. Did I care? Nope. Because the only thing that mattered to me was the time we spent together.
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