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 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 191
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for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?Page 5 of 25    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25)
Of course it does......

If you do not have it, you want it.....and if you do have it, you are very careful with whom you just might share it with.

The best case would be that the both of you have your own, and do not need more, so what you share will be the "other" things in a relationship.

You will always have those that "want" to be taken care of, and those that "want" to take care of another, but overall, as equality reaches the norm, more and more would prefer to share equally, not give or take, and work on the other issues of having a real relationship.

Just my opinion.......
 Nancy54534
Joined: 1/30/2008
Msg: 196
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for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 9/27/2008 1:31:59 PM
Well I am able to take care of myself, not living extravagantly at all; but there is food on the table, heat, clothes and the bills getting paid. Why should I not expect the same of a man who would want to come into my life. I am not talking filet mignon, Land Rovers, Niemann-Marcus at all just the basic items and quiet enjoyment with each other. On the first meeting I prefer to pay my own tab, but have been overruled on a rare occasion. Yeppers there might be a time that the companion may encounter a rough spot but if you are together and it can be smoothed over with mutual help then so much better. If the companion chooses to take a lay down/negative/not helping themselves then it would call for a heavy duty talking to or follow up if nothing is done to help themselves. No use dragging yourself down trying to pursue a person who can't or won't do anything if there is no physical reason for their lack of initiative to contribute to a mutual well being
 ________
Joined: 12/24/2006
Msg: 200
for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 9/27/2008 2:31:16 PM
If you ask stupid question, you usually get a stupid answer... Now why would anyone say money has no bearing whatsoever let's try the question worded slightly differently and see if it makes any more sense.....
Can you honestly say...:

...that security has no bearing whatsoever in your attraction to a man?
...that a great sense of humor has no bearing whatsoever in your attraction to a man?
...that honesty has no bearing whatsoever in your attraction to a man?
...that having engaging personality has no bearing whatsoever in your attraction to a man?
...that being compassionate has no bearing whatsoever in your attraction to a man?
...that having warmth has no bearing whatsoever in your attraction to a man?
...that being able to spell "attraction" has no bearing whatsoever in your attraction to a man?

Perhaps one would have to think wealth and success were terrible evils to make any sense of this question.
 novy 28
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 207
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for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 9/27/2008 6:54:43 PM
I have dated a few women where did not matter and a few where money was what their life revolved around. I am in point now where I can detect it, if that is what w=she is after, I am gone.

Rule of thumb, if you are showering a woman with money, not necessarily is she a gold digger- you showed her what you had, so she wants a piece of the pie.

Best thing to do is to keep two cars- your good one is the one you go to work in and the clunker is what you drive on a date- yes, even first date! If she talks to you in the clunker, you have a keeper. If she turns up her nose, there you go!

Once you get to know her, then you reveal your good cat. But then and only then!!!

I think you know how to date, so I don't need to explain that to you.

Good luck!!


P.S. The clunker worked for me on a few occassions. Some still only see my clunker!!!
 Aerynn
Joined: 9/21/2008
Msg: 211
for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 9/28/2008 2:34:54 AM
Money is not a primary attraction in a man. What IS is his ability to make it stretch, whether he makes $5 or $50 an hour. I'm not looking for a sugar daddy, but I AM looking for someone sensible and dependable, and not some jackass who'll piss his savings away on stupid things.
 ________
Joined: 12/24/2006
Msg: 212
for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 9/28/2008 6:01:13 AM

Really what we should be asking men is if they can honestly say that looks aren't a factor. The fact is men are geared more to be attracted to looks and nurturing quality of a women and women are attracted to someone who can provide and protect. Its the way we were made.


That is it exactly --- it the evolutionary psychology of the species. Nothing is more likely to end a relationship between heterosexual couple from the woman's perspective than if the man dramatically loses wealth and status -- and nothing is more likely to end it for a man than if the woman quickly loses her physical attractiveness. It's programmed into the genes as much as are hunger and thirst -- it is each of the gender's dirty little secrets. It goes by the name of "feelings".
 NotInnocent
Joined: 9/7/2007
Msg: 213
for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 9/28/2008 6:18:27 AM
I just think it's funny.. How can you look at the state of the economy and say that money isn't a factor? Sure it may not be the number one factor, especially in the beginning stages, but its importance grows as the relationship progresses. Most relationships break up over money issues. I know that i make a decent salary, nothing to write home about, but enough, and i'm worred. My job is so dependent on the economy, people don't have money they don't shop, i'll lose my job. The economy bombs like they project it to lots of people I know are going to lose thier jobs, and there is nothing else out there. See how important your spouses/significant others income is then, especially if there are children involved.

I'm thinking that those who claim that money doesn't matter to them,at all, never really went without it. I think you need to live that desperatly to really appreciate what it is to not have money. It's not that i'm saying everyone has to be a millionaire, but they should have enough to support themselves and anyone they chose to include in thier lives in that capacity. Partner of 3 weeks loses job should you help support them? No. Partner of 3 years loses job, should you help support them? Yes. And assist them in the job hunt.

Look at a much lighter note, you get married and decide to have babies. Disability pays like shit and if he doesn't have a income to speak of how are you going to make it those 8 weeks? Especially if you are purchasing formula.

Now I know some of us are heros, or just plain dumb. Some of us married the guy who makes minimum wage or doesn't work to speak of and supported him, hey i did that too minus the marriage part. Some of us will marry the struggling artist and hope for the best. I'd be interested to see how many of those marriages lasted, and how many broke up over money. I'd bet the majority of them did.

Is money the mitigating factor in a relationship? No. Is it an important factor? Yes. Can a relationship work if one person doesnt contribute financially? (or whos contributions are insignificant) Yes, until a financial crisis happens, then we will see a different story.
 some woman
Joined: 5/16/2007
Msg: 216
for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 9/28/2008 12:02:45 PM

I'm thinking that those who claim that money doesn't matter to them,at all, never really went without it. I think you need to live that desperatly to really appreciate what it is to not have money.


This may be true in many cases, but I also believe the opposite is often true. I grew up in a family with very little money. My first husband refused to work for a very long time, so we survived on just my income. I was much more comfortable finanacially in my second marriage, but only because between us we made enough to pay the bills and keep the kids fed and clothed.

Shortly after my second marriage failed, I got sick and ended up on disability making next to nothing. I adjusted my lifestyle and spending habits accordingly, which wasn't hard because I already had the survival skills necessary to get by because I never had much money to begin with. If I had ever had lots of money, or even enough to never have to worry about it, I would have had a much harder time adjusting. I actually live much better now with less than I've had at other times in my life because my priorities have changed.

The only time money has ever been an issue for me is when able-bodied men refused to work and pull their own weight financially and expected me to support them completely on my very small income. As long as there's enough that we can and do each support ourselves, it's not going to be an issue for me.

I guess money can be a factor at times, but I haven't ever used it as criteria in the process of selecting with whom I would share my life. Maybe I should have...
 Janet4ever
Joined: 4/14/2008
Msg: 219
for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 9/28/2008 12:39:33 PM
Personally, I like financial responsibility more than wealth as it matches my own lifestyle. It is hard to completely ignore the attitude towards monetary spending because it directly impacts a relationship in the long run. Money (and how it is spent) is one of the triggers for most problems, so the more the two of you mesh with commonalities here, the better.
 Spirit25
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 222
for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 9/28/2008 1:22:09 PM
Money isn't a factor to me. My ex had 2 jobs to make ends meet. All that bothered me was that he had little time for me, it had nothing to do with the how little money he had to take me out, etc. I was the one that treated him, it made me feel good. Now I know I was way too good to him and let him treat me like a doormat. Thanks I got? He left for for another girl.
 Anokagrassland
Joined: 4/11/2007
Msg: 226
for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 9/28/2008 1:57:24 PM
RE: Novy28. Love the clunker idea! I have a couple of nice cars. A driver and a classic. My work truck while completely reliable definitely looks the clunker part. You know the sort? If I hit something with it you'll never be able to tell the difference! Guess I'll have to drive that next time!
 NotInnocent
Joined: 9/7/2007
Msg: 227
for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 9/28/2008 3:03:51 PM
Can't blame lack of money for your actions. You let him treat you like a doormat. Money had nothing to do with it other then you willingly offering yours. Money I do not have an excessive of, neither does most men I go out with. that doesn't mean we can't go out and do things, it just means we can't go to the fancy resturants or take a spontaneous trip to italy. .Not that those things impress me.. I'm more impressed by the guy who shows up with a single flowers to cheer me up because I had a bad day. If he has enough to support himself. I am happy. If he wants to take me out, he can pick the place and I have no complaints as long as he is wanting to spend time with me.

I do expect little things, like him having something I will drink in his fridge and toilet paper on the roll. I expect him to not ask me for money to cover his bills and I expect him not to ask me to cover the check if he takes me out. If he remembers to avoid seafood resturants..bonus points for him. ;)

What makes that scenario perfect is if you do end up together there will be more then enough money to support one household with both of you living in it. That's all I look at when it comes to a mans income.
 wenchwit
Joined: 10/20/2007
Msg: 229
for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 9/29/2008 8:38:04 AM
I CERTAINLY can say that money is not a factor. I earn my own keep, thank you very much. Unemployed MIGHT be a problem at the offset, but I am more interested in the person than what the person has, drives, makes, etc.
 miss pisces
Joined: 8/3/2007
Msg: 230
for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 9/29/2008 6:54:35 PM
Personally, I need security and stability to feel safe, but I need to be able to provide that for myself.

How much money a man has or makes, isn’t really a factor for me. What matters (and is a make or break factor) is his financial responsibility.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 231
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for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 9/29/2008 8:19:43 PM
msg401.... If a man is trying to impress me by dining and wine-ing by borrowed 100 bucks, forget it . I would rather have him buy hamburger and coke from mcdonald and split it with me...
 Minau
Joined: 9/2/2007
Msg: 233
for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 9/29/2008 10:53:10 PM
If you truly love this person, money is not a factor...all that matters is that you're together and together you'll figure it and get through it......if anything it would inspire me to work harder...I don't really care what he does, so long as he's happy doing it...and we get the bills paid...lol.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 234
for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 9/29/2008 11:33:59 PM

for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?

No. But I can say: Truly, money isn't a factor. (At least not for me, it's the man, not the wallet or the credit card.)
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 235
for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 9/29/2008 11:34:14 PM
Double post ~ so sorry!
 fossape
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 237
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for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 10/1/2008 4:49:34 PM
my status symbol is a the transit bus and the WHOLE metro!!
 thegirliest
Joined: 7/31/2008
Msg: 239
for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 10/2/2008 6:45:33 AM
Guess what...it goes BOTH ways
 Unique FingerPrint
Joined: 9/7/2008
Msg: 240
for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 10/2/2008 6:52:05 AM
We may want money, desire money, go after money. At the end of the day if it ain't workin it aint workin. Money does make it an eaiser life. Money is not the cure for happiness. I have men say if I am not "secure" do not respond. Men do require woman to have a secure income. At least in the older crowd. I dump them. Men do not like it when they feel woman are after money but they require woman to have money. Double standards. Men traditionally make more than women. Moma siad make sure your man can support that family when you are starting out. I did not look to see how old your are but 9 bucks an hour could say you are younger. I would say yes, it could make you more attractive to those starting out in life wanting a family and a good father and breadwinner.
 jsphn11
Joined: 12/24/2007
Msg: 242
for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 10/2/2008 1:00:24 PM
I've already posted it somewhere, but I just love American classics.... Do you remember "Gentlemen prefer blonds":

"A rich man is like a pretty girl. You don't marry her just because she is pretty, but that sure does help"
 CHAOTICBEAUTINESS
Joined: 9/22/2008
Msg: 244
for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 10/2/2008 1:19:11 PM
Oh I always make sure I get them to fax me their W-2's before I go on a date

It is true that I am not going to date someone that doesn't have a place to live and a job. He should also be afford to date. I am past the hang out stage. They don't have 3 fork restaurants around here, so I don't think too many men would go broke doing dinner and a movie. If some guy is broke, it is his choice to buy stuff to try to impress a woman. It doesn't cost $100 for one dinner around here and a movie.
 smiliegirl15
Joined: 7/15/2006
Msg: 247
for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor?
Posted: 10/2/2008 3:03:50 PM
I am completely capable of supporting myself so I don't need him to do it. That being said, I am not going to support his lazy ass either! I have a great job, a mortgage, a car and a dog whom I support.
It's not like way back when, when women relied on men to support them because they didn't have jobs and stayed home to raise the children. There are a lot of women out there now who make a darn good living. You shouldn't go into a relationship expecting your partner to bail you out financially. (Maybe I'm just too independent.)
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