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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Would you date someone who is disabled?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 72
Would you date someone who is disabled?Page 11 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
Ha Ha! My guy got the last good one. That's why there are none left for YOU.
You'll be lonely for the rest of your life because you don't have the three Ms: motorcycle, money and muscles.
neener neener neener! (flip my hair and skip out laughing)

OMG LoN, you'll set him off for the rest of the day-if not the week!
Seriously,not all of us are here because we can't pick good men, some of us are here because we had good men who passed away-unfortunately, when one is widowed relatively young(45-59 approx) what's left available IS the unwanted, the damaged, the ones who can't recover from their divorce...and after awhile, you come to realize that you are doing fine without a SO, and after a few run-ins with hit-n-run guys, guys who panic and flake out after 3 dates,etc,you decide, HELL YEAH! Why even bother unless the guy is absofreakin'lutely amazing and the love between you and he is strong! Which leaves out the mediocre, the boring, the pathologically angry,the revenge-seekers,the broke-ass drunk househoppers...Oh we might date a "bad boy" for shits and grins,but we won't get too attached. But a lot of us appear to be very ordinary,everyday women,and the men are all chasing the hot babes half their age. The ones who aren't trying to do that are often paradoxically, both desperately needy and near-pathologically angry. So we just get on with our lives,enjoying what we do have and maybe we will find a love for the 2nd half of our lives-but if we don't, that's OK too-the 2nd half of our life is way too important to muck up being with a guy we don't feel a wonderful connection with.
I realize this has littleto do with dating someone disabled-except that the disability that causes the MOST problems is a bad attitude-anger, victimhood, resentment,hypervigilant/hyperdefensive-those are the disabilities I worry about.
Cindy O
 SilentInk
Joined: 3/20/2010
Msg: 73
Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 8/23/2010 10:14:34 AM
It honestly depends on the dissability. One leg, one arm, wheelchair bound, possibly. Someone with say shitzophrenia though, absolutely not. This is only because I want to have kids one day, and I would never have kids with someone who has to suffer with such a scary mental disorder, knowing there is a rather huge chance I can pass it on to my offspring.
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 74
Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 8/23/2010 10:35:59 AM

And on topic, it's really hilarious to see you state that you would date a disabled male. You're NOT SINGLE/NOT LOOKING. Is your guy disabled? Hell no! He had to meet ALL 100 criteria out of 100 in order to fit the qualifications of PERFECTION that YOU demand. Otherwise, you would have kicked him to the curb even BEFORE he had a ghost of a chance to communicate with you!


Actually you do not know he isn't disabled now do you?

I don't think under the relationship status it has a "In a relationship with a disabled person" listed.


Again I will state as most do..It all depends on the disability and how his attitude is about it.
How much would it disrupt our living a fulfilling life together.
If I am strong enough to handle the particular incidences of the disability.

The biggest issue would be....

Is he bitter and always blaming others/his disabilities for his problems?
I can see from many some posts in this thread alone and people I have met in life that a person can be bitter and a real Skuntard with no visible disabilities except their attitude.


I would say a person with no arm, leg ,blindness or a chronic disability with a loving and generous spirit and a positive attitude and outlook has more of a chance with a quality mate than SOME jack azz with a boulder on their shoulder.

That is just a fact...........

It's kind of hard not to pity someone that full of self loathing and venom that is probably able bodied in most ways and of seemingly average intelligence over someone with a foot missing or an eye that is happy and loves people and life.
 jklmnome
Joined: 2/3/2011
Msg: 75
Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 3/11/2011 11:49:21 PM
I would, I have, and I will. I myself have had a few back surgeries and currently have a bum knee. Does that disqualify me as the "perfect man"

I've always wondered just who decides what is normal anyway? I think I'm normal, but I am always goofing around, laughing, trying to have fun. Some people think that is not normal. So, just where does the current definition of normal come from? I think I would understand it if people said that its not what they would do, or not what they like. but normal? thats like saying there is some kind of standard. So in my eyes, disabled is just as normal a someone who is not disabled. Its something that occurs in life and has since the beginning of time. So when someone says they are "normal" I really worry. In fact, I saw a great bumper sticker that says " Normal People Frighten Me" And I agree, because in my experience its usually those who claim to be normal that have the most problems. Im not normal. I dont want to be.
 jklmnome
Joined: 2/3/2011
Msg: 76
Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 3/12/2011 12:07:04 AM
jenny34 wrote
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I have a girlfriend that fell in love and got married, six months later her husband was involved in a car wreck, The doctors said he would never walk again! She really loved him alot. He was determined to walk again.........She basically did everything for him, I mean everything! I watched her struggle with him for about 2 years. He did eventually walk again after hard work on both their parts. He went from a wheelchair to a cane, then he slowly began to walk, although he is very slow he is walking. Unfortunately after over coming his disabilities, he left her for another women!! It broke her heart, and I don't think she will ever give her heart to another.

After watching her go through all that, I would have to say NO I would not date anyone with a disabilty.......Don't hate me! I'm just being honest.........Sad, very sad!!!

---------------------------------------------

Well I actually know a similar situation. they were married for around a 6 months. He had a very good job, but had to work a few weekends a month. She wanted him to drive her to parties with her friends so she wouldnt get DUIs. He didnt drink, she did. She'd already been pulled over once and was afraid she wouldnt get away with it the next time. He didnt want to quit his job he'd had for a long time, so she said she would leave him if he didnt do it. So he did to save the marriage.
A year later.. He is at work and gets hurt in a work accident. Messes him up and he has to spend most of the next 2 years in hospital having surgeries and rehab. The whole time, she was out sleeping with other guys. She even left their children at others peoples houses while she did. When he returned home he offered to watch the children by himself on weekend nights so she could go out with friends. He felt like a total burden to her, and tried to do whatever so she would still have a life. But he still didnt know she was sleeping with other men during this time. It wasnt until she had all but spent, or moved , the settlement money and all the savings, retirement and even the Christmas savings funds for the kids into a secret account that she finally told him she had been sleeping around since he became disabled. Told him he was Bad for her social life, and that she was leaving him. At first she wasnt to interested in taking the children, but for some reason when she found out it would hurt him more, she did. Its like she blames him for everything she doesnt like in her life. She even blamed him for her fathers death. He died from cancer in another country!! But she blamed him anyway. She even still blames him for her failed relationships after they divorced as well as anything their kids might do wrong. Of course when the kids do good things, its because of her. When they do bad things , its because of him. He did everything for her he could before disability and after. He always put her first, gave her everything she ask for, and loved her more than himself. But she didnt care, he no longer fit her "perfect mate" image, so he was out. No longer considered a human being in her mind, but a virus. This is just the way she is. But you know, I dont say I would never date a non disabled person because of what this woman did to this man. That would be like judging a whole race, culture, group, on what one person does. It be like saying you would never date a black, asian, white, hispanic, etc.. person because of what one [fill in blank] did to someone you knew. I hate to say this, but doesnt it seem like a immature thing to even think much less say out-loud?
 lateef7842
Joined: 4/14/2008
Msg: 77
view profile
History
Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 3/19/2011 5:01:30 PM
Coming from me, this may sound a little off-putting, but it would depend on what that disability is.

I'm in a wheelchair but I'm still able to have sex. If the woman's disability prevented us from having a healthy sex life, then I could not date her. That may come off as hypocritical or selfish, but sex is a major part of most relationships.

Lateef
 Just 4 You
Joined: 1/25/2005
Msg: 78
view profile
History
Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 4/13/2011 3:44:12 AM
I got diagnosed with Epilepsy at age 10 (1970), which resulted in my being sexually fixed in my teens. Being under legal age I had no say in the matter. All the Healthcare system needed was a signature from my parents to do whatever they felt was best.

I also got declaired Unemployable, Not allowed to get a Driver's License, and Not Allowed to get Married. I know the third one sounds stupid, but in 2008 I tried to get a Marriage License for my girlfriend and I (we both had epilepsy), and the Police got involved, sending me to the Sex Offender Program where I was forced to accept that it's wrong. We can be friends, but that's all.

Not Fair!!!

Just 4 You
 magicallaroundme
Joined: 3/9/2011
Msg: 79
Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 4/14/2011 1:14:11 AM
This is one domain where I have to give credit to the females on this site for being broadminded. I am wheelchair bound and dating isn't much of a problem. When I do get rejected it is usually for some other reason.
 magicallaroundme
Joined: 3/9/2011
Msg: 80
Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 4/14/2011 1:33:13 AM

I got diagnosed with Epilepsy at age 10 (1970), which resulted in my being sexually fixed in my teens. Being under legal age I had no say in the matter. All the Healthcare system needed was a signature from my parents to do whatever they felt was best.

I also got declaired Unemployable, Not allowed to get a Driver's License, and Not Allowed to get Married. I know the third one sounds stupid, but in 2008 I tried to get a Marriage License for my girlfriend and I (we both had epilepsy), and the Police got involved, sending me to the Sex Offender Program where I was forced to accept that it's wrong. We can be friends, but that's all.

Not Fair!!!


Though I have several reasons to condemn Soviet Canuckistan, Human Rights wasn't one of them up to now. I had thought that all those eugenics laws were a thing of the past like the government's kidnapping of children. What an abomination!
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 81
Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 4/14/2011 11:02:20 PM
magic, I think your response would be right on if the dood to whom you were responding we telling the truth. I doubt he is. There's nothing much to back up his story other than he lives in BC which was one of two places in Canada where it might have happened. *WE* didn't do as well, alas.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compulsory_sterilization#United_States

There's also no evidence that anywhere in Canada that epileptics are not allowed to marry. http://www.epilepsy.ca/eng/mainSet.html

Some peeps don't mind making fun of others for their yukyuks.

 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 82
Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 4/15/2011 7:26:43 AM
I also got declaired Unemployable, Not allowed to get a Driver's License, and Not Allowed to get Married. I know the third one sounds stupid, but in 2008 I tried to get a Marriage License for my girlfriend and I (we both had epilepsy), and the Police got involved, sending me to the Sex Offender Program where I was forced to accept that it's wrong. We can be friends, but that's all.


Sex offender program? seems more to this story your omitting .. much more.
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 83
Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 4/15/2011 11:44:56 AM
Have to back off the yukyuk theory. Mea culpa. I just read his posting history.

Post 54 in this thread is illuminating. http://forums.plentyoffish.com/9708719datingPostpage3.aspx Evidently the woman in question is still a ward of her parents.

When I worked in a nursing home, we had several elderly learning disabled women who had been taken advantage of sexually their whole lives by males either not as disabled or not disabled at all. Not a pretty picture, and not easily amenable to legal systems which wish to easily pigeonhole.

Sadness for everyone involved. . . .
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 84
Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 4/15/2011 4:55:27 PM
thx for pointing out... yes, much sadness
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 85
Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 4/18/2011 7:13:18 AM

How many men in their 70s get laid?

Why are you worried about this? Sounds to me like you will have absolutely digested yourself by half that age.
Y'know, we could turn this right around and make the observation that men who feel compelled to diss American women and extoll the ease of getting with a woman who wants to GET to America so much, that she'll accept what American women have rejected.
The TOPIC is "would you date someone who is disabled?"-NOT "lets' rant about my lack of dating sucess".
Setting aside all the medical-technical-legal criteria that go into classifying a person as 'disabled' for purposes of being a protected class, or access to insurance or governmen benefits-let's just say that the only disability applicable to dating is the disability of a bad attitude.
Cindy O
 magicallaroundme
Joined: 3/9/2011
Msg: 86
Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 4/18/2011 7:40:27 AM

As a man, NO! I only go for hot chicks.

A man's best overall policy for both AW and FW.


Most American women don't have much to offer beyond their sexuality - especially the bitter fuglies and fatties.

Indeed they don't. Still the not bitter fuglies who actually do have something to offer offer it for reasons that transcend money.


As for women, I have three words for you: Anna Nicole Smith. Remember that 70+ year-old big rig in the oil industry, that guy in the wheelchair? How many men in their 70s get laid? Let alone those guys, how many decent-looking married men get laid with their wives? If you can make money, you will always get laid, my friend. You could have a third eyeball and penises coming out of your ears and it wouldn't matter - women can't see straight when you're rich


The reason that Anna Nicole could see her way clear to sleep with the old goat was that he was an imposing man in his own right regardless of money and age. He was larger than life... a bigger and better man than most could even aspire to. That is how he got to be a billionaire to begin with. If he wasn't a billionaire he would have at least deserved to be in any industry.


Heck, try your luck overseas. Even the best-looking of guys will tell you that women are easier and of higher quality in most other parts of the world.

Not really so. Bring one back to the USA and see how quickly she adopts the culture of mendacity. The reason that American men do so well abroad is despite what AW want to believe Americans are seen as good and industrious husbands. They have a very good reputation that is now being eroded by geopolitics but largely still intact on a personal level. An American among Asians is high status. Bring her back and you are an American among Americans -- low status. Hence the change. FW are no better. They just value you more in their own country.
 english lass
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 87
Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 4/18/2011 7:48:24 AM

Heck, try your luck overseas. Even the best-looking of guys will tell you that women are easier and of higher quality in most other parts of the world.


"easier" AND "higher quality" that's quite the combination... not necessarily one I'd put together, but I guess it takes all sorts
 pureblisscatch4u
Joined: 3/18/2011
Msg: 88
Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 4/19/2011 11:15:53 PM
I haven't read all of the posts, but the ones I've scanned seemed to be very positive and accepting and willing to date someone with some kind of disability. That's actually very nice and refreshing to hear, as I have some vision issues, and am always worried that people will be so shallow and discriminate, especially because of that stupid car question in the profiles. It's nice to see so many people who wouldn't hold that stuff against someone. Very good karma points for you! For anyone who wouldn't date someone with any disability, I hope you learn from the decent folks in this thread and follow their example.
 suds00
Joined: 2/5/2011
Msg: 89
Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 6/23/2011 4:36:04 PM
i have a disability due to a childhood cerebral hemorrhage.most of my life i have not dated and it wasn't for lack of trying.i was married for 11 years and to some extent my handicap ,and what some consider to be my limitations, had an effect there,as well.it seems to me that many,if not most women don't date handicapped men because they think that they'll end up being caregivers and/or they won't have a fulfilling married life.
 mateo45
Joined: 1/17/2008
Msg: 90
view profile
History
Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 6/23/2011 6:24:32 PM
Kinda depends on how severe the disability, but generally speaking, no problem. Mostly I'd be interested in how they deal with it. Is it a limitation they struggle with and ultimately feel responsible for, although they welcome some assistance? Or are they a "victim" and it's just used as an "excuse", that always makes them "entitled" somehow, especially within the context of a relationship? Maybe that's a fine distinction, but also a very important one.
 alishass
Joined: 12/7/2007
Msg: 93
Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 7/28/2011 4:20:23 PM
Wow...so you wouldn't date someone who had a problem with depression? You just counted out half the women in the USA and Canada ...lololol More than half the people in America are on anti depressants. Don't know about Canada.
 AlreadyTakenBootboy
Joined: 11/5/2009
Msg: 94
Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 7/28/2011 4:33:13 PM
I'm compltely blind, I have no vision at all, and I make blind jokes all of the time. some people aren't use to that at all.
 DvSGuYBtown
Joined: 8/2/2014
Msg: 95
Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 6/10/2015 12:38:41 AM
Of Course I would I'm disabled myself and believe me it's near impossible trying to meet somebody in my experience.
 Eternitygracesme
Joined: 5/18/2015
Msg: 96
Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 6/10/2015 1:43:51 AM
Yes -- if they're a good match.
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 97
Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 6/10/2015 7:26:30 AM
Also married, I believe.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 98
Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 6/10/2015 9:56:39 AM
Depends on the disability and how severe it is.
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