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 Much43
Joined: 1/8/2007
Msg: 26
Would you date someone who is disabled?Page 2 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
I saw a man on Saturday night at the Fireside Grill in Victoria who I think is a quadraplegic. I couldn't take my eyes off of him. Sometimes someone has that "it" factor and I was dying to go over and invite him out for coffee. But I think he was with his family - brothers, dad and mom, and couldn't find a way to make the move without all of them involved as well.

I liked his eyes and his smile and the way he listened as people around him spoke. Nice shoulders too. ;-)

You never know who is going to catch your attention. I was completely distracted by him all night even though I was sitting with three perfectly nice guys.
 dguy4u247
Joined: 11/25/2006
Msg: 27
Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 1/30/2007 4:39:56 AM
WoW chick...that guy obviously was a fool. His choices were all stupid. I'm reminded of a passage I just used myself..."don't cast your pearls before swine"
 mr ali
Joined: 2/12/2005
Msg: 28
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Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 1/31/2007 6:46:40 PM
Hi All
Yes, I would date someone who has a disability and I have done it and I will do it again,Nobody chooses to be disable,however it is something out of control and naturally happens,If I like the person and that person is cool ,why not.

This Is Only One Man's Opinion.
PEACE
 betterlate
Joined: 12/22/2006
Msg: 29
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Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 1/31/2007 7:06:12 PM
Well guys do date disabled women and women date disabled men, a personal preference for most people seems to be that they dont want to be a nurse maid, or have to take care of the person.

I would have no problem at all dating someone with a disability. It has never been only about what you look like and ... after twenty minutes speaking with someone "who they are" shines through the container. I have known the most perfect looking people that were totally boring, self absorbed, narrow minded and mean sprited negative,

and the most wonderful, exciting, intelligent, sweet, kind and loving people that were not the "model" looking and totally captured my heart. It aint in the wrapper!!
The wrapper gets old...People get sick and injured and get old... they can always improve who they are as they age.. and I have never seen a person that looked better after plastic surgery, most end up looking like monsters...
give me real!
BL
 R_U_Perfect
Joined: 1/14/2007
Msg: 30
Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 2/11/2007 5:18:57 PM
The Doctors call me Hadicapped,Not me, it hurts like hell for me to walk, but I do, it is dangerous for me to work, But I do, I would even date if there was anyone that wanted to...


Iguess because I won't roll over and play dead, there will be no nice gal for me... Bummer Summer...
 AbstractAstra
Joined: 1/31/2007
Msg: 31
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Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 2/11/2007 8:44:47 PM
To the OP - I have ME, very similar to FMS, and I am about to get a referral to an FMS specialist as I suspect I have that as well (a number of relatives have/had it so I know the symptoms). Therefore that would not put me off dating someone, although I had to wonder if we'd ever find a time when we were both okay enough to go meet up
I have mentioned the ME on my profile because I don't want someone contacting me then disappearing when they find out. I'm sure there are lots of people who won't let it put them off.
 Azalea Path
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 32
Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 2/11/2007 10:04:16 PM
Allow me to change my previous statement. Not just no, but HELL no, I wouldn't date someone who is disabled. Not again. At least not someone who wasn't comfortable with their disability. Otherwise it's just a setup for frustration and disappointment. YOU can be as loving and accepting as you can be, but if they can't accept themselves, it's pounding your head against the wall.

Bitter? You bet I am.
 Azalea Path
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 33
Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 2/12/2007 12:23:48 AM
The difference between you and the person I'm speaking of is that YOU are comfortable with your disability. You don't make people feel guilty or shut people out or drown in neurosis. That is what I am talking about. I would have to tread with extreme caution if I was to date someone with a disability again. If it's no problem for you, it's no problem for me. If it's a problem for you, I wouldn't want to get involved. In the particular case that I'm thinking of, he was physically disabled yes, but he is emotionally crippled by that fact, and THAT was the problem.
 sweetheart6366
Joined: 2/20/2007
Msg: 34
Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 3/7/2007 6:58:25 AM
yes, been there but he couldnt accept that he had a disablitity....that made the relationship unworkable....

If a person can deal with his disablity fine, but he has to accept who he is before he can accept someone else accepting him...
 Singanddance
Joined: 7/15/2006
Msg: 35
Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 3/24/2007 9:49:59 PM
Yes, I would. But it would be more likely that I would meet them in a different way than online. I'm still not certain that online is a good way for me to meet people in general, but of course, I'm still here.

Anyway, you state that single mothers tend not to care about your disability, but that you are the sort of person who if there are children, you want them to be yours. Then you state that you wish you weren't, but you are. Doesn't that sound a bit discriminatory to you? I mean, you might be screening out someone who is so perfect for you that after a time the issue of who fathered the child might be completely irrelevant (have you seen WHERE THE HEART IS?)--and perhaps there is still the hope of having biological children of your own--but you are systematically screening out people in that category, which you acknowledge is the one where you seem to find the most accepting women. This would seem that you're guilty of that which you, yourself, are protesting. And hurting/limiting yourself in the process.

I haven't the foggiest idea of whether I'm attracted to a man until I meet and spend time with him in person, and I think this is true of the vast majority of people on here, especially women. The sum parts of a person are so much more than their abilities or lack of. I have loved before... and if that man who I adored developed a disability like yours it would matter not a bit to me, I would stay with him and continue to love him. If he had the disability first, would I have fallen for him? Who knows? Who knows how it would have affected the person he became?

Anyway, I wish you the best with your life and your search. We are all worthy of love, and live a constant existence in the heart of true love, whether it feels so or not. I take great comfort in that.
 BlueCoder
Joined: 3/9/2007
Msg: 36
Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 4/3/2007 12:10:30 AM
I would suppose that depends a great deal on whom has the disability, the man or the woman. Women usually want to feel protected, not like they are someone's mother.

But as for myself I wouldn't mind dating a woman who is disabled, it just depends on the disability. I even have a slight fetish for deaf women just because I kind of like the accent when they speak. But I would never actively seek out women with a disability.

I would probably have the most trouble dating a blind woman; just because I'm a little vain and would want her to be physically attracted to me.
 Wmninmotion
Joined: 12/23/2006
Msg: 37
Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 5/2/2007 2:14:22 PM
Well, this is an interesting post.

I can tell you that I've had fibromyalgia, along with some other related diseases, for 11 years; I have my good days and my bad days. A change in climate with more stabilized air pressure year-round made a huge difference between me walking up stairs and crawling on my hands and knees instead. It can be a dehabilitating disease that every sufferer experiences differently. There is no pinpointed cause, and no magic cure.

My sister and her husband are my inspiration; they met 11 years ago when she had just been diagnosed with MS. It was a triumph to see her walk down the aisle - very slowly - to marry him. He has since been her champion through two years of chemotherapy and modifying their home to accomodate her wheelchair. He is my hero. I hope that I whomever I spend the rest of my life with is of the same character, even if we're not tested in the same way.
 the1948ghost
Joined: 4/23/2007
Msg: 39
Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 5/21/2007 2:45:22 PM
Yes , In fact my wife lives with one,me. I have PTSD or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from Three Combat tours of duty and I had it when we got married 20 yrs ago. Since then I have had my back fused in three places,I have an artifical Right shoulder ball joint ,no Rotator cuff on either shoulder ,Fibromyaljo and Cronic Pain Syndrom I also lost a toe due to infection. I know I have other problems but I think you get my drift.
She has never threationed to leave me ,she just loves me and takes darn good care of me. It's not what a person has on the outside it's what we are like on the inside. I am on this site not to find someone except for friendship I beleive we all need that and if I can provide it to someone else then I will. I can listen to problems or read questions like this and provide my openion. Thanks for reading and a beautiful day to all.
The Ghost
 guyot
Joined: 5/6/2008
Msg: 40
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Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 6/18/2008 1:18:37 PM
There is no question: I have gone out with women with disabilities since my very first girlfriend, and in fact prefer women who depart from the norm in one way or another.

When you love someone and know them well, the "disabilities" part seems to fade, and they simply become the characteristics, both good and sometimes unwelcome, of the person you love and spend your days with. Personhood trumps disability, especially when you come to know someone.

-Gray
 sunnychic78
Joined: 11/7/2006
Msg: 43
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Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 6/20/2008 1:07:07 AM
Actually I have.... The last guy I dated had broken his back (thats how it was explained to me I could be wrong about the technical term for it) a few years ago, and even now still suffers from constant pain in his back as well as a herniated disk, while he can walk, he is almost always in pain no matter what he does.... When we dated I looked up a bunch of stuff on the internet about his condition, so I could feel more at ease.... I even went so far as to inquire about sex and how he was able to function....

Before that I've been interested in a blind guy, a deaf guy, a guy with a prothesis (an Iraqi war vet), as well as being good friends with a guy that has CF.... Who is to this day one of the most awesome guys I know...

So the short answer?

Yes I would date someone with a disability - if I was truly interested in them.
 guyot
Joined: 5/6/2008
Msg: 44
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Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 6/20/2008 8:35:29 AM
If I was younger, free to date and lived in the UK, I would surely have emailed you, Wheelie. You have a great profile!

-Gray
 whoso
Joined: 2/25/2008
Msg: 46
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Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 6/22/2008 3:11:56 PM
Honestly, what I really want to know is what type of guy were u before your current condition? U obviously have ur ideal woman and there is nothing wrong with that. However, as I read ur profile I noticed that u don't want a woman with kids and there is nothing wrong with that either. So, why do u think something is wrong because u find that a lot of women don't want to date a disable guy? Everyone is entitled to their choices. U made ur own in stating that u want ur own kids, so what is the difference? Choices is choices whether its someone who wants a fat bald man, a skinny big breast woman, a tall dark handsome, hardworking man which is my choice. To me there is no difference, we are all free to choose. If a woman wants to run because ur disable so what? U are running from a woman with kids that are not yours!

Thank u for allowing me to honestly voice my opinion and I wish u all the best.
 wyteknight
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 47
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Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 6/22/2008 5:31:49 PM
This thread seems to have evolved along the way!
Personally I have no more problem dating someone with physical challenges than I have dating those who have none. It is important to get to know the person inside, beauty as well as physical prowess can be lost in a moment! Or it can diminish with age! Therefore I tend to look beyond surface features; personality, character, temprament and humour, all are greater influences. First, do we get on well together?do we share similar interests? Do we complement each others personalities? Would I spend my life with this person? All the usual questions!!!!! Presumably they are asking the same questions of themselves!
I have known or dated several ladies with various disabilities, and a greater stumbling block to a continuing relationship has been attitude; those who have been disabled from birth seem, in the most part, to believe that the world owes them something. My reaction to that? It's a tough break, but thats life.... continually playing the sympathy card doesn't create a conducive environment for love to grow!
Those who have become disabled later in life tend to carry a 'chip' on their shoulder!
Why me? You're lucky! My reaction to that? Life's a ****, move on as best you can, OK your vehicle is damaged but you are the same person you always were!
I don't do sympathy, but I am more than willing to overlook physical problems, more than happy to help those who help themselves! That go on despite adversity.
I have been lucky, so far, not to have been impeded by any disability or infirmity, but it could happen any time! I hope I would strive to overcome physical problems and be the person I have always been inside complete with the flaws and imperfections that make me an individual, good or bad, me is and will remain to be me! That is what I look for in others.

Look beyond the physical being, commit to the soul within!

Good Luck to everyone in their search!!
 MadSkillzMan
Joined: 5/10/2008
Msg: 48
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Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 6/22/2008 8:58:49 PM
I know the feeling man, i have Nystagmus, which is a neurological disorder that makes my eyes twitch...nonstop..its not noticeable unless its a bad day, but it keeps me from driving..and sports..and with it comes migraines, weird sleep schedules, eye fatigue, and its hereditary, so I'll pass this curse on for sure, ...i havent had a girlfriend in a solid 2 years..the ones i had before that were all in highschool, so its not like driving was an issue back then, but apparently its a big deal now....i had a few dates about 6 months ago, but when the girls mother found out i had it, I could tell she'd been discouraged from seeing me, considering our dates had to be double with friends or i would've never gotten there in the first place. Once she said "my mom knows what you have" she just "wasnt available" anymore.

I dont know what the problem is, girls just demand perfection...I've had plenty of interest in me, but when they find out the eye thing, theyre gone like a shot. I had one flat out tell me she doesnt want to get involved with something like that.

So i guess its obvious why i've come to this site. Dont get out much, hope to meet someone whos a bit more understanding and down to earth.

Just thought i'd comment, i see this is quite a long one.
 MadSkillzMan
Joined: 5/10/2008
Msg: 49
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Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 6/22/2008 9:18:36 PM
actually, i dont believe it slipped my mind, but my first girlfriend only had one hand and it was never an issue at all for her or either of us..so i had to open the ketchup for her, nothing else was an issue

I dont feel sorry for myself, but ya cant help it when it gets ya down now and then... i get on without it just fine..heck nobody can tell i cant read any of the boards when i was in class, not even the teachers..i'd tell some of em at the end of the semester that i aced the whole class entirely by sound..i dont know man, someday reality hits everyone and some people will realize what theyre missing out on
 hawkchase12
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 51
Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 6/23/2008 10:38:07 PM
I dated a lady in a wheelchair(I'm a TAB, temp.able body like all able bods) and I was really liking her. She had MD but was very cute(even though 7 years older) and she had the best kisses I ever got(she got limp like a rag doll & her lips were soooo soft). The only prob was that if we had kids they would inherit the MD. She also seemed to get a bit clingy & started to show anger mgmt trouble when I wanted to break it off.
 Mellybelly
Joined: 5/5/2008
Msg: 53
Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 6/24/2008 2:05:19 PM
I am a woman with a disability, but not gonna say what it is because it doesn't matter, and I say F$*^ you if you don't, because many people with disabilities can still rock your world, in more ways than one, and they are much more imaginative and creative in doing so.
 guyot
Joined: 5/6/2008
Msg: 54
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Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 6/29/2008 2:35:58 PM
Yes, Melly. Women with disabilities have rocked my world and captured my heart.
 angels_fly
Joined: 4/20/2006
Msg: 61
Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 7/28/2008 5:32:10 AM
NO... it all depends on the personal connection, love is truelly blind.
And no need to argue that point.
 breath~
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 62
Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 8/4/2008 10:25:42 AM
Someone mentioned this:
Those who have become disabled later in life tend to carry a 'chip' on their shoulder!



you can count ME out of that generalization!
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