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 Miss Twiss
Joined: 10/26/2007
Msg: 120
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Would you date someone who is disabled?Page 4 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
Yes, I would.

I have had enough life expereince that I now realize that superficial things REALLY DON'T MATTER. I fall in love with the Soul. The rest of it just so much doesn't matter to me!

The fact is that I am "disabled" as well--also with fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Immune Dysfunction Syndrome. It might be nice to date someone with illnesses like mine--people without them don't usually have a clue what my life is really like!

I am a much richer, more mature, complex, and seasoned person for having to deal with serious chronic illness, and the loss of my career, and most of how I defined myself previous to this illness. I know that my spiritual life has blossomed in ways that I couldn't have imagined previously. I have had to look really deeply at who and what I am, and what my life is really about.

If someone is shallow enough that they will let "disability" determine whether or not they would date me--then God's truth is that I do not want to date them! I want someone who loves and appreciates MY Soul--and all of the other wonderful things that I am. I am looking for my Soul's mate--and I don't really care what size, shape, color, ability-rating, hair-color, eye-color, sex , gender, etc. that person comes in. If my most important criteria is met, what does any of the rest of it matter?
 ramman6969323
Joined: 1/10/2006
Msg: 121
Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 8/26/2008 11:58:19 AM
I met a lady on here that had a quite interesting story and yes I dated her she was no different than anybody else I really liked her a lot until I seen her with someone else that she told me about from the beginning. I just want to be someones one and only if you really like someone there will be no one else but I do believe cheating is in the blood once a cheater always a cheater.

:)

 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 122
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Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 9/2/2008 7:02:49 AM
I think the biggest problem with dating someone with any type of disability is how they view themself, and how they want other people to view them. All too often, it seems that they see themselves as 'broken' and seem to be pissed off at the world for not treating them the way they want to be treated. The others are the ones who don't give a damn, and go on with life enjoying what they can. I have arthritis; some days, I can barely walk, and it feels like I have hot knives sticking into my joints. But you know what brings me back to reality? There are millions of people out there with no legs, that would just LOVE to have my lousy legs. Sure, I can't play basketball anymore. I can't run down the street without severe pain. But I can do 99% of what anyone else can do, and so can many people who are considered 'disabled'. Disability is in the mind of the disabled; sure, it may be a lot harder to do some things that come easy to 'normal' people; but the disabled people I admire most are the ones that find ways to overcome the obstacles in their way, no matter how hard it is. So the answer is yes, I'd date someone who is disabled; the disability isn't the obstacle; like many other things, the obstacle could be the personality that goes with the person.
 Violet Tigress
Joined: 8/31/2007
Msg: 123
Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 9/2/2008 11:17:24 AM
Stellar, if you had ben treated like you were broken for most of your life, wouldn't it affect your self image just a little bit? Some things are "all in your mind." Some are not.
 lostintheshuffle
Joined: 5/8/2008
Msg: 124
Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 9/4/2008 2:57:06 PM
Two years ago, I was in Walmart, there was a woman in a wheelchair who was in need to get something from a top shelf. She was looking around for some help and I sprang to it, cause it seemed like fun. It wasn't just something that she couldn't get due to lack of height. It was something that I needed to crawl up to get :-)

Eventually I said to her that I'd help her shop, cause it made me feel tall when I'm not the tallest guy in the world. It was a great feeling to be needed. Plus she was really attractive and that helped.

She was paralyzed from the waist down due to a derby horse rolling over her and severing her spinal cord.

We approached dating together afterward, but in the end she was the one that rejected me to be on her own and be "independent."
 The rock man
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 125
Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 9/5/2008 4:07:31 PM
Date a disabled person?

I married a disabled person.

Most people don't realize that there almost like real people.... But different...

It's a rather silly question, riding on the edge of attention seeking really.

If people didn't date and marry disabled people how would we ever have disabled children.. Hello..




Don't get all pi$$y with me it's a joke.
Make some snappy comments and
I will embarrass you by pointing
out that I have a disabled daughter!
That's what I thought!
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 126
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Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 9/7/2008 5:27:53 PM
Violet, I do get treated like I'm 'broken', once women know that I was sexually abused for most of my school years. I do carry some of the after effects of that, and sex isn't easy for me. Neither is knowing that >99% of women don't want anything to do with me. And yes, I too get tired of being told that they're not interested. But I still try.
 D48763
Joined: 8/25/2008
Msg: 127
Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 9/7/2008 6:05:28 PM
I dated a woman who was blind from birth,,,she was the greatest discovery of my life,,she tought me to be able to discribe etc,,,the beauty of a sunrise,in words of how it effects a human mind,,,she helped me discover how to appreaciate what is always around me,,she gave ME a gift from a blind lady to a man who now can see as if I had been blind,,,

Take a moment,as someone to discribe something( anything) to a friend,wife,just a whatever,,,its very hard to explain what a color does,appears,how it blends,,or how your heart,,mind feel about what you see as a sunrises,,,,yet when you do,,,you will discover a sight that you never felt before in your life,,,

I would rec any disabled dating to anyone,,,for they are the real macho's,,,the real ms world,,,for the courage,the insight,so much more that many full and able people take for granted,,,NOT me,,,

Why am I here,,,she and I dated more than a few years ago,,she passed on in a car acc,,,yet her gift to me,priceless,,,D
 Violet Tigress
Joined: 8/31/2007
Msg: 128
Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 9/8/2008 12:20:21 AM

Violet, I do get treated like I'm 'broken', once women know that I was sexually abused for most of my school years.


"Once they know" being key.
 ils99
Joined: 5/30/2008
Msg: 129
Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 9/8/2008 1:45:19 AM
Well, considering I was rejected by a wheel chair bound guy BEFORE I could even ask, I guess I have no experience and can't say. From then onwards, I stopped bothering trying to meet ALL kinds of guys. Isn't that rather ironic? Me, a "non-disabled" person (no offence intended- can't think of better words to describe it!) being rejected by one who was wheel-chair bound (can't remember name of condition). I would've thought it may have been the other way round...but never mind.
 The rock man
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 130
Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 9/8/2008 8:18:08 PM
I got an e-mail today asking me if I felt like it was my fault that my daughter was born disabled.. She wanted to know if I thought it might be a curse or some kind of omen!

That's how ignorant some people can be! She would be way to confused if I told her what a blessing I thought it was!

Rock!
 Karebear127
Joined: 8/27/2008
Msg: 131
Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 9/8/2008 8:37:14 PM
I have dated someone disabled. I have Cerebral Palsy. It just means I have a slight limp and a loss of hearing in one ear. I've never really had a problem dating. If a man ever had issues with my having CP it was his problem not mine. I was made this way for a reason. I'm happy with who I am.
 Divinity
Joined: 2/16/2008
Msg: 132
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Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 9/8/2008 11:20:05 PM
Disabilities I probably would date him if we connect very well, as long as they can take care of themselves efficiently and independently than I am down with it.

Things happen, and people tend to be judgmental and selfish most of the time. Wish you the best of luck
 Violet Tigress
Joined: 8/31/2007
Msg: 133
Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 9/9/2008 2:43:18 PM

Things happen, and people tend to be judgmental and selfish most of the time.


No kidding. The older I get, the more life is like grade school. A guy's feiends will still pick on him for hanging out with the "crippled chick."
 curlygrl
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 134
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Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 9/9/2008 7:35:01 PM
The older I get, the more life is like grade school.

Amen sister.

My sister lost her eye to retinablastoma at the age of two.

She had more dates then I ever had and she is now with husband #2.

Yes - she is a beautiful woman inside and out and yes she was looked
down upon and made fun of all her childhood. I spent most of my childhood
defending my sister because she had a glass eye- like it was a crime.

Some people in this world need a reality check but I truly believe that
we are sent things because we are strong- people who reject and make fun
of people with disabilities are weak people.

I never saw her as disabled, ever. I just realized reading this thread after
46 years that I guess she is. I never saw it.
 Sweetbabeblues
Joined: 4/23/2008
Msg: 135
Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 9/10/2008 9:05:11 AM
Face it.... In some ways we all have diabilities whether we want to admit to it, or know about it.... Just some are more disabled than others.....
I for one was in a realy bad auto accident, and have some major organs gone, and was paralized for awhile. I now have a disability in my back and neck because of it. But to look at me, you would never know it. And yes I have my bad days along with the good, but I am still disabled.
To me it doesn't matter what the disability or how they got it. We all have a person inside that body we're given, and that should be what matters most.....
And I figure it this way... If people have to look and stare and be rude.. one day, what went around may come around... And then lets see what happens....
 diamondgirl2727
Joined: 2/25/2008
Msg: 136
Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 9/15/2008 10:36:56 PM
I did date a man in a wheelchair. Trust me, the only thing he couldnt do was walk without help. He had a job, a car etc. and was not lacking in any other way. ;)Hmmm....maybe have to give him a call and see hows hes doing.
 open2newthings
Joined: 4/12/2008
Msg: 137
Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 9/16/2008 12:48:31 PM
I want to start out by saying I am a man who happens to have MS and a couple of other problems to deal with. and I do. I am not a vegetable or house plant that just sits there. I live, love and enjoy life.

My MS is a part of my life that I do have to contend with. But it does NOT define who I am.
I have some other health issues that I wont mention here. I do tell all when I am getting to know someone and it seems like it could lead to something. And I do have MS in my profile.

Some people ask questions. I am happy to answer them openly and prefer they ask directly. Many people have an image in their mind of me in a wheelchair as soon as they see MS. I am not in a chair. I may be some day. I may not. I do have a cane I use at times.

As far as dating. I have dated a woman with MS. We ended up not working out. But it had nothing at all to do with the MS.
Dating someone with a disability or more correctly a challenge is something I would do with out any hesitation at all. I have done it. It is a non issue to me.

I have had many women that start out wonderfully. Great conversation. Lots in common. Then when they really realize what MS is and what "could" happen they grow silent and either ignore any further contact or disappear. While I am disappointed when this happens they are the real losers then. Not me. They are missing out on a great friendship if not a great relationship. With out really giving it a fair chance. Yes MS has no cure. And yes I "might" get much worse. But they can have something happen to them they don't plan on too. And just because there is a "might" in there does not mean it is a sure thing that it "will" happen.

I am grateful to the MS for reinforcing for me what is truly important. Love,caring and compassion. Not things or appearances. All that is temporary at best anyway.

What is not is my ability and desire to love and care about those close to me.

So I will date someone with a challenge. Just as I will someone who does not have one. if they are someone I like and am attracted to. That is after all what is supposed to happen anyway.
Wes
 TwinSpin1971
Joined: 6/30/2008
Msg: 138
Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 9/17/2008 2:43:24 PM
As long as we have things in common and we are attracted to each other, I most definetly would date someone with a disability.
 ladybugsluck9
Joined: 8/10/2006
Msg: 139
Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 9/24/2008 10:06:34 PM
I'm disabled, but you'd never know it by looking at me or conversing with me. It doesn't effect me sexually.
So you can't tell just by looking at someone if they are disabled. I would definitely date someone that had a disability.
 MaxFromOrange
Joined: 9/14/2008
Msg: 140
Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 9/24/2008 11:31:49 PM
Hey,

You're going to think I am crazy, but trust me I wouldn't f#$% around with this stuff. Read John Sarno's "Healing Back Pain". In the book he describes a condition called TMS (tension myositis syndrome) that is synonymous with FMS. It is treatable and requires no medication or special pills or whatnot. 0. There is hope. I have seen 100% complete rehabilitation in my line of work as a assistive device engineer working with severely disabled patients. I have personally seen patients completely restored to normal.

I have the book on mp3. Email me if you want it. Do not blow this off. It can cure you. Good luck and write me if you read it. I'd like to know how it goes. You have nothing to lose and EVERYTHING to gain. No joke. Good luck.

Rensy

p.s. My only motive is to help. I don't make any money off selling the book. Dr John Sarno is a world class back specialist (don't worry, he works with FMS patients too) and his book is a best seller. He doesn't need from me the few dollars I can drum up by recommending it.
 Aerynn
Joined: 9/21/2008
Msg: 141
Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 9/25/2008 3:27:01 AM
I wouldn't discount dating someone with a disability. I myself suffer from acute pain in my joints; though it's nothing compared what you or others have, I would hope someone would try a little understanding and compassion for a condition we cannot control, and give a friendship or more a genuine shot. :) Rather than just writing it off from the get go.
 AS82
Joined: 9/1/2008
Msg: 142
Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 9/25/2008 4:35:36 AM
I haven't thus far, but I've also never been pursued by a disabled person. I think it would matter to what degree because I don't know what I could handle. Your disability doesn't sound that bad. I'll just message you cause i have some questions and I'mnot about to read all 9 pages to see if it's been answered
 Rachaelh
Joined: 8/9/2008
Msg: 143
Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 9/25/2008 4:46:15 PM
I have experienced the same problem, as I have a son who has a mild neuro-disability as well. I have found that it's hard to find people that are ok with it.
Maybe there are certain questions to ask people to see if they are perfectionists or not.
If they are, don't date them.
Maybe: "How do you define diversity?" or Do you agree with genetic engineering?- Why? Probably the best question would be:
"What is happiness to you?" See if they paint a pie in the sky pic for you.
Also, if they are clean freaks, workaholics, religious fanatics or materialistic, chances are they are perfectionist.

There are a lot of elitists and perfectionists out there, we are young, but you (and I) will find someone with a deeper, more mature spirit if we are smart about it.
I'm sure of it.
Good luck and I hope you are well.
 lil_ladybug
Joined: 1/21/2008
Msg: 144
Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 9/26/2008 2:38:41 PM
I guess it depends on the person. If you use your disability as a means to sit on the pity pot, absolutely nobody will date you. I dated a man who was burned horribly in Desert Storm. His fingers were destroyed and half of his face melted off. He is a beautiful person and we are still great friends but not compatible romantically.

My best friend suffers from Crohn's disease. Horribly suffering. She has a colostomy bag and most of her genitalia is scar tissue due to the massive diarrhea and the acid destroying her. She is getting married.

I have a child who is brain damaged due to child abuse. At the center where she goes to for after school programs, there are developmentally and physically disabled people there who are married, have bfs/gfs, etc. There really isn't any reason why you would be single unless you use it to say "Poor me"

I live in wheelchair excessible housing (for my daughter) and my next door has Cerebral palsy and is wheelchair bound but has children from a previous marriage.

I can list on and on and on....

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