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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Do men really like submissive women?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 aisu
Joined: 12/15/2007
Msg: 76
Do men really like submissive women? Page 4 of 20    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)
Submissive woman? Yes!
 bearded_romantic
Joined: 6/12/2006
Msg: 77
Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 3/21/2008 5:25:20 PM
.

Submissive ... when?

I won't even date a woman who isn't quite independent, with a mind of her own. But in the bedroom, or anywhere else sex is on the menu, variety is the spice of life. (I mean variety with that one woman.)
 2 left feet
Joined: 12/29/2007
Msg: 78
Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 3/22/2008 4:59:47 AM
It's not for me, but each to their own. I don't think it's possible to guage anyone's sexual tastes or preferrences by having coffee, dating for 2 or 3 weeks or meeting their family / friends. We all have a little bit of freak in us that we're too embarrased to announce to the world with a bumper sticker "I heart (insert your fetish here)". This is one of those things that should come up when you have 'the talk'. The more important the topic is to you, the earlier you should mention it. Monogamy, kids, sports teams, ... if you're not willing to go without & they're not willing to compromise, what future do you have anyway? Right fetish or right partner? In an ideal world it'll be the same person.
 alwaysme2
Joined: 5/2/2007
Msg: 79
Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 3/22/2008 8:18:10 AM

Okay, I think men like submissive women for just sex, because they are easy.




Your kidding right?


After all, a woman who can say No to me initially, can say NO to any man who hits on her while she is in a relationship with me, a trait I very much admire...
Submissive women seem to forget they are in a relationship if their man is not standing there with his arm around her waist... just speaking from experience...


I know you said that is your experience but trust me. Most women even if they have submissive tendancies have NO problem saying no to another man when he is hitting on her if she is with someome.

I think that you have the idea that women who are a little on the submissive side can't stand up for themselves, have no respect for themselves and can't even function if their SO is not right there with them telling them what to do.

I think if you re-read some of the posts from women on here you will find that alot of the women are confident and can certainly take care of themselves. lol
 Mirage111
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 80
Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 3/22/2008 9:34:40 AM
Hi 4real

try the d/s sites there are plenty of them out there. How can you tell hmmmm I can spot it a mile away being Dominant myself its instinctual. For those who think submissives are wimps...your wrong. It takes a very strong person and it can be male or female

good luck 4real.
 Mirage111
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 81
Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 3/22/2008 10:39:15 AM
D/s etc is not about sex or rough sex or kinky sex.
 ammorata
Joined: 2/16/2008
Msg: 82
view profile
History
submissive women
Posted: 3/22/2008 11:30:32 AM
I can relate to where you are coming from. I too am looking for a dominant male and they are hard to come by. However, there are some men on this site that do have the qualities that we seek. Don't settle...and keep on fishing.

A
 sherilyn70
Joined: 1/26/2007
Msg: 83
submissive women
Posted: 3/22/2008 12:39:52 PM

Had a 'submissive' for a year!
She chased, caught me. Sex was GRRREEEEAAAATTT!!!
[use your imagination...don't hold back!!!]

I'm really confused... how was she a sub again? In what way did she even remotely resemble one since you didn't describe one here.


Now that thats over......
She WAS a doormat, I just couldn't stand her out of the hay!
Tried to get her to open up to life. Get interested. All she wanted to do.......
STAY in BED !!!!
BLAMM BLAMM BLAMMM
WAIT! ain't got my vest on!

I'm missing the part where she was a doormat. You tried to get her to do things and she wouldn't... how is that you walking on her? You didn't like her because she wanted to do nothing but have sex? What does this even remotely have to do with being submisive yet again?

Based on your logic, a guy once was mean to me over so all men are dominant jerks.
 Knight_of_Wands
Joined: 3/31/2006
Msg: 84
Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 3/22/2008 3:36:17 PM
I've been following this thread for a while and feel I have to comment on some of the mis-conceptions posters have of submission and submissives. Having both vanilla and more alternative relationships I can understand that there is a lot of mis- information out there. Submissives have a range of personalities that cross the spectrum from shy to assertive. These personalities can be and often are polar opposites in the bedroom in opposition to real life. A minority of partners in the lifestyle have anything close to a 24-7-365 D/s relationship. You can't tell a submissive or Dominant outside of asking them. I've met female nurses, schoolteachers, CEO's and Firemen who all dressed and acted within their conventional roles until they were comfortable and ready to play. Judging a submissive by calling them "easy" or assuming the like pain or do not have well defined boundaries is ignorance and nothing else. A person in an alternative lifestyle or even who just wants to experiment is a "person" first. Don't assume, take the time to get to know the person and explore. If you are in a fling roleplay can be scketchy business. Taking someone and having it be an exciting experience or a terrifying one is only a shade of perception different.

To reply directly to the Author... Yes some men do really like submissive women and some men enjoy being Dominant. A subset of those men enjoy being aggressive in the bedroom, from experience I'd say a large subset. But, even these men can be tentative when first getting to know someone. People don't usually advertise their kinks to the outside world. If you are interested in a guy and want to find out how he'd act I'd suggest falling into a roleplay scenario. Try being coy or drop a hint even if it is as corny as oh I've been bad do I need a spanking... If they don't pick up the ball and can't impress you with their banter outside the bedroom they probably won't be very creative inside. If they don't get it or are creepy about it obviously just pass them by. You may find better luck and not have to ruin the fantasy by seeking out a BDSM club, lifestyle group or try ALT.com best of luck and be careful, there are more than a few men and women that don't make compatible partners for a submissive.
 sherilyn70
Joined: 1/26/2007
Msg: 85
submissive women
Posted: 3/22/2008 4:17:37 PM
Meteor, no you are not describing even remotely a submissive woman. If she were submissive as you suggested she would have gone to school for you, she would have cooked that meal instead of suggesting eating at her mothers. She would have tried to get out of the house for you. Or she would have at least tried each of these tasks at least once to make you happy. What did she actually do that was an act of submission for you? I'm very confused on why you keep saying she was.

What you described was a lazy person with no ambition and was very possibly suffering from severe depression and low self esteem.
 Mirage111
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 86
Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 3/22/2008 5:18:31 PM
Ive been browsing through most of the posts here and the ignorance of nilla is appalling in a few of the posts. I know many lifestyle true Dominant men as freinds...they are out there ladies.
 sherilyn70
Joined: 1/26/2007
Msg: 87
submissive women
Posted: 3/22/2008 7:52:21 PM

I mean come on people -- do you order the same thing at a restaurant all the time? Do you want the very same meal day in and day out?

No, I don't want the same exact meal every day... but I also can't stand broccoli. So there are certain things I absolutely don't want and for me that is being the aggressive one. Just because the sexual scenario involves submission doesn't mean it always has to be the same routine. Mix it up a little bit. :)


A good couple should be building each other up, IN and OUT of the bedroom.

I don't understand that statement. How is a submissive and dominant exchange not building each other up? Communication between two people in this type of relationship tends to be above average in my experiences.


Meteor already pointed out one version of this. She may have been a powerhouse in the c0ck sucking department but emotionally she never grew into womanhood.

But the only problem there is he didn't describe a submissive woman. He described someone that was probably in severe need of medication for depression. He has yet to actually give any examples of her being submissive.
 sherilyn70
Joined: 1/26/2007
Msg: 88
submissive women
Posted: 3/23/2008 6:54:29 PM
If I am looking for a lifetime partner why shouldn't I want a confident self-actualized woman? Maybe one who while I am gone from our house, god forbid something happens to say our child or a relative, she can say... give CPR as I can or should an intruder enter shoot like I can?

Wow... are you some of you guys really this dense? Submissive women are exactly what you just said you want. So many of you continue to be contradicting.

You've seen me posting here, do you think that I'm doormat? Do I really strike you as someone that just says "yes dear?" or that would be easy to get into bed? Do you really think I'm incapable of taking care of myself or others? Do you really see me as being weak? Because I am a submissive woman.
 4realgurl
Joined: 10/31/2007
Msg: 89
Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 3/24/2008 9:23:10 AM
JASMINE, u hit the nail right on the head,,,,they say they can take control and do this and do that, but when it cums time, OH I DIDNT WANNA BE TOO ROUGH WITH U....are u freakin kiddin me???

you know what im dealing with them, well i met a guy who i think can handle me, well see how things go,,,

ttyl
carly
 ThatGuyJay
Joined: 12/28/2004
Msg: 90
Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 3/24/2008 6:28:53 PM
"Do men really like submissive women?"
YES

however, most men these days were not raised to be men. This means that they are stuck in arrested development and need a mother more then a wife. So the caution for submissive women is first find a man that you can respect outside of the bedroom as a good man, before revealing to him the depths of your submission. You don't want to find out you're with a drunk driver when you're already in the car!

(ps just so you guys know I'm not just talking shyt on "modern man", modern woman is raised to deny their natural female impulses, and there is this kind of silent assumption that a woman who resolves that she "needs" a man is some how weak and is doing harm to the "cause". Where so called feminism is actually a philosophy bent on masculating women, and feminising men against their nature. This results in women who feel its "dirty" to need a man, and unfortunately it also results in young males who don't understand the fulfillment from being a good woman's stable foundation. Instead its seen as a "weakness" of women, to exploit for sexual access, also tacitly affirmed in the media.)
 knipknip
Joined: 10/30/2007
Msg: 91
Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 3/26/2008 2:55:56 AM
Dan, Don't get worked up about it and No point in trying to 'xplain anything that is part of your 'soul' to nillas. Too hard to explain to people who just don't feel it and will never 'get' it. Being dominant or submissive is just what a person 'IS".

Some of the most powerful (business wise ) men and women are submissive. It is not something anyone can just guess. Being a doormat/spineless is NOT being submissive , being a doormat/spineless is someone who has problems. Who would have guessed that Cher is a submissive? huh?

What makes me laugh even more is that men saying "yeah I love being dominant in bed' whoopy-di-do, anyone can play at being a Top which has nothing to do with being a Dominant or being Submissive.

I wish once and for all people would realise that Sm is not D/s and people always have that confused.

Bet no one could tell what side of the fence I sit.
 NiceOnPurpose
Joined: 12/17/2007
Msg: 92
submissive women
Posted: 3/26/2008 7:22:31 PM
Y'all are making good points. I love big strong dominant men...I don't think I am anything close to being a true submissive though. To tell the truth, I don't think my family has made all the links in the genetic chain....we all (men and women) seem to have a lot of wildness in us yet.

A man has to work for it and earn it if he wants to tame me.

I like to think the old Hepburn/Tracy movies of some great examples of heated sexuality. I prefer to think of what I want in a relationship like a wolf pack. They have an alpha female and an alpha male...

Why not two doms? Or even just the one, with the woman not being a submissive?

Its not the violence and/or aggression that is the big turn on. Its the control and the reverting to our most natural selves. I think a lot of women like me just want a man who is more of a man than we are.

No matter what you heard on Oprah or Dr. Phil, most women are not any more interested in your feminine side than you are in our masculine side.
 SmellOfPoop
Joined: 6/8/2007
Msg: 93
Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 3/26/2008 7:33:14 PM

What is sexier: the woman who follows him around all day like a puppy while she picks up after him and complies by sucking his **** in bed?

OR

The woman who is strong and independent and an EQUAL during the day and can match him word for word in a debate...and complies by sucking his **** in bed?


Oh, definitely the second. The first example would be an annoying person. The second is a godsend. :P
 simpleman20188
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 94
Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 3/27/2008 5:05:57 PM
As a natural Dom I would have to say that a real Subie is the ultimate aphrodisiac.

And the best Subie I have ever known initiated the contact and let me know what she was looking for and why she chose me.

The way it has been explained to me is Doms aren't always what you expect just like Submissives aren't. They often keep part of them selves undercover till they are comfortable with a person and then they allow that part of thier personality out to play.

On the other hand once you are comfortable with who and what you are WOOOO HOOO life is much more exciting and fufilling.
 SmellOfPoop
Joined: 6/8/2007
Msg: 95
Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 3/27/2008 9:15:45 PM

This from a handle 'SmellOfPoop.' I didn't make this up, folks, so don't blame me for noticing.


Wow. Have I been insulted by a guy who calls himself "ThinkOfMeNaked" ?????? This poor guy needs a handle to tell you to think of him naked because, by the looks of his profile, you really wouldn't want to.





 simpleman20188
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 96
Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 4/2/2008 8:59:58 PM
You would be surprised how many "submissives" are getting their way by giving the power and control to thier partner.

Being a dom I have found that it is a lot more about steering and guiding than it is about taking and forcing.

A natural submisssive will be willing to go much further than she should for her own health and well being, it is up to the dom to hold her and him self back so it stays pleasurable and fun.

It is a wild and crazy feeling when she is pushing for more and you want to take it but you know that you have to hold your self and her back in the best interests for her.

Just as doms push and test their sub, subies push and test their doms.

Pretty exciting sh!t.
 babydollmisfit
Joined: 2/23/2008
Msg: 97
Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 4/3/2008 10:31:08 AM
From my experience, its usually in the attitude. A man who has more of a 'Alfa Male' attitude rather then a more sensative, shy one is usually the man to take charge. I am both a submissive and a aggresive depending on my mood and/or the person. I never have the exact same sex with every new partner, its always different. So depending on who you are with will determine your sex. The most you can do is tell your partner what you want them to do. There is nothing ever wrong with communicating your needs/wants with your partner. They will either except it or be to shy/scared to try it. I don't think you're asking a lot, you just like when a man takes charge, which they should do from time to time;)
 Shibari Man
Joined: 3/22/2008
Msg: 98
Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 4/3/2008 2:33:20 PM
Ikiera

This is probably to most intelligent post on the thread yet. Very well said.
 Eddie2704
Joined: 3/27/2008
Msg: 99
Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 4/4/2008 2:37:09 AM
Well, All i can say is pushy women turn me off. I like it when a woman lets me lead. I like a submissive woman that lets me be the aggressor. If a woman is to aggressive in bed it's a turn off. I like it when they ask for it and when i don't give it to them right then to me that allows us to let the romance and the heat build. To me when the romance and the heat builds up to a fever pitch that is when sex is the most fun.
 catman40
Joined: 5/20/2007
Msg: 100
Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 4/4/2008 3:17:12 AM
all pushy woman make your way to wisconsin this way for a man who wants us . come on . let's get him . A woman who will dominate me . big TURN ON .
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