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 et1000rr
Joined: 12/23/2007
Msg: 26
Sarcasm red flag or not?Page 2 of 20    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)
I'm quite certain anyone who uses to sarcasm to insult people on an hourly basis is not going to be everyone's friend. I highly doubt the OP was referring to this type of sarcasm.

Sarcasm isn't used 100% of the time to be insulting. You can use it to insult people without their knowledge if your good at it but again i don't think that's what was meant.

Sarcasm can most definitely be humorous. So for the people who started pulling the dictionary definition. If I called you a "fag" would you be upset? The definition is a bundle of sticks. And for my UK friends isn't a fag also slang for cigarette?

If people use sarcasm without the intent of making you laugh, then their just mean. Again, the OP didn't ask this...he said a sarcastic sense of HUMOR...which means the intent is to be funny........................................beating a dead horse.......
 et1000rr
Joined: 12/23/2007
Msg: 27
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 3/1/2008 4:52:10 AM
Why do sarcastic people have such a problem with non-sarcastic who don't want to be around sarcastic people being aware that we don't want to be around sarcastic people? There are plenty of ways to have humor and sarcastic people are welcome to theirs and I am welcome not to hang out with them or go to their comedy shows or watch their comedy shows on TV, etc. It is my choice to have the limitation.

A non-sarcastic person wanted to know if any other people considered sarcasm a red flag. Yes, there are some of us who do use it as a limiter. There are others who are attracted by it. As the site says ... plentyoffish. ~ cncgandolf

because we think we're smarter than you and you should be attracted to smart people... :)
 J.R.0950
Joined: 11/5/2007
Msg: 28
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 3/1/2008 5:26:13 AM
wtf???is everyone out there thinking they`re the 2nd coming of dr. phil or something?sarcasm is in everyone of us,since the dawn of civilization!damn get a grip people,accept it and get on with things,stop looking for that so called pefrect person,theres no perfect person,there was only one perfect person in history and the jews crucified him!pull your heads out!
 et1000rr
Joined: 12/23/2007
Msg: 29
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 3/1/2008 5:32:54 AM
awesome for this thread...a perfect person being one that not a single person can prove existed...
(that's not sarcasm...it's "dark" humor at the expense of religion....in no way intended to be taken seriously)
 Desi1955
Joined: 9/28/2006
Msg: 30
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 3/1/2008 5:36:11 AM

Sarcasm is negative, it has undertones of contempt - the world is a better place without it. Personally it seems to go hand in hand with deceit, outright lying, selfishness, conceit, insensitivity and a whole grab bag of negative personality traits. I walk away from such people and don't tolerate their put downs as funny or fun towards myself or others. Sarcasm is not welcome in my home nor in my workspace.


Well said, Quicksilver217. I've also found that many of those traits tend to go together. People don't realize how ugly and negative sarcasm can be, even if it's not directed specifically at you...it spreads bad vibes to everyone within earshot. I also won't stay around sarcastic people...maybe that should be another POF filter we can put up
 BobRuinedTheDate
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 31
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 3/1/2008 5:36:49 AM
This is, perhaps, the most elucidative and brilliant thread I've ever seen on POF or any other of the 17 or 18 internet forums I regularly comment on. It sings, like a choir of perfectly pitched cherubs serenading God Himself, of a purity of thought and purpose that I can scarcely bear to enjoin my mind from engaging at this time. My God, man, how did you come up with this? What robust spirits of vigorous thought and examination have possessed you to tear open the very fabric of the old paradigm and flood it with a brilliant starlight that is nearly blinding in its beauty and illumination? My God. My God. How did you do this?
 Desi1955
Joined: 9/28/2006
Msg: 32
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 3/1/2008 5:45:07 AM
wtf???is everyone out there thinking they`re the 2nd coming of dr. phil or something?sarcasm is in everyone of us,since the dawn of civilization!damn get a grip people,accept it and get on with things,stop looking for that so called pefrect person,theres no perfect person,there was only one perfect person in history and the jews crucified him!pull your heads out!


YOU are sarcastic, therefore everyone is? Not true; sarcasm is a choice; it's what comes out of our mouth and we control that, the same way we can choose to speak the truth or not insult people. I don't understand the 'perfect person' reference...are you implying that sarcasm is a flaw and only perfect people aren't sarcastic?? Get a clue. The shallowness and faulty thinking of some people here amazes me.
 et1000rr
Joined: 12/23/2007
Msg: 33
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 3/1/2008 5:53:38 AM
I don't think he even hinted at sarcasm being a flaw. simply that all people have some sarcasm in them...at varying degree's. and i think he was saying you shouldn't let the degree deter you from the person if they are like-able in other senses. which i disagree with. if someone does anything to a point you are not happy with...you don't have to tolerate it.
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 34
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Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 3/1/2008 8:28:12 AM

Sarcasm does mean ripping or biting flesh. But the word has evolved some and I think we have reached the point where it now refers to things that are in fact abusive and demeaning as well a more light hearted version of it which has ended up in the same catagory.

I suspect many people mean ironic rather than sarcastic.
 EagleEric
Joined: 11/2/2006
Msg: 35
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 3/1/2008 8:54:15 AM
Well you might try to improve your spelling to get your point across better.

Also I wouldn't put much effort into to trying to analyze the written word here. How we treat a general audience and how we treat people whom we are close too may be quite different. Also sarcasm is certainly part of human nature. It's only a problematic when it over used or used to simply hurt others. Finally, sarcasm often communicate our feelings better about certain topics than thousands of word essays!

The Eagle
 TheLimey
Joined: 2/24/2008
Msg: 36
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Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 3/1/2008 10:55:50 AM
Having a dry sense of humor is often mistaken for being sarcastic.

& as the earlier post with the def of sarcasm said, it's also defined as irony. You can come out with a one liner refering to the irony of a situation & bring the house down without being sarcastic at all.
 SoLongThanksForAllTheFish
Joined: 6/14/2007
Msg: 37
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 3/1/2008 2:16:38 PM
Sarcasm definitely is a red flag for me - meaning when I see somebody broadcasting that they're sarcastic (or just pick up on them doing it often), it does make me a bit wary of them.

That's not to say I dislike sarcasm. If you're trying to be funny, sarcasm can be great. But what does being funny have to do with getting close to people? I come from a family where people think insults are a great way of showing affection, and I neither like that nor am I much good at it. I'd just as soon skip the mixed messages, and likewise that means I'd just as soon not get involved with somebody who has to use cheap humour like sarcasm to express how she feels.

So, as I said - it is a red flag]/i] meaning a sign of likely trouble. That doesn't mean I dislike sarcasm or would avoid somebody just because they made a sarcastic comment.
 SoLongThanksForAllTheFish
Joined: 6/14/2007
Msg: 38
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 3/1/2008 3:06:53 PM

Going Dr. Phil on all of you, I think that, at times, sarcasm is a cover for low self-esteem. Sort of a deflection tool.


That's the rub, isn't it? Despite all this nice theorizing about sarcasm being an advanced, intelligent form of humour, the people I know who use sarcasm a lot are insecure and/or leaking pent-up anger. It's not a coincidence that younger people tend to be more sarcastic than older ones.
 virgogidget
Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 39
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Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 3/1/2008 4:40:52 PM
No I dont like it either not even in fun.
No I couldnt be friends let alone date someone like that.
Be nice or say nothing is my motto.
All my friends have sense of humour& wit, we enjoy life but not at others expence
 lip locked
Joined: 9/14/2007
Msg: 40
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 3/1/2008 5:54:58 PM
Thank you !!!! you nailed it right on!
Just a cheap way for people to express themselfs and use sarcastic humor.
I do think it is a sign of much worse things to come. People that use it in humor alos would use it in battle! Its a double edge sworde that at time can be slightly hunmorous... but I have NEVER heard anyone say you ahve a great sence of SARCASM! i think its is deep rooted anger and resentments that come out in a sugar coated joke. . Not that i have never laughed at or been the creator of such cheep for of passive agreassive humor. Its just a bad sign for me to see it used as a daily method of comunication. Definatly a bad omen of a unhealthy relationship!
 lip locked
Joined: 9/14/2007
Msg: 41
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 3/1/2008 7:05:16 PM
Never meet any one that could distingues the difference in the two. Its a personality trait that is corrosive.
 cmdr_iceman
Joined: 5/30/2007
Msg: 42
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Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 3/6/2008 5:04:16 AM
Yeah it’s red flag for me if a woman is too sensitive and cannot discern a silly sarcastic joke from a real insult. I’ve been there done that and it isn’t any fun having to carefully measure every word that comes out of your mouth for fear of offending someone who is hyper-sensitive.

I'll pass.
 *Just a girl*
Joined: 5/27/2007
Msg: 43
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Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 3/6/2008 3:09:19 PM
Sarcasm is veiled anger. Surely we are not out to date angry people. Walk away from the sarcastic. . .
 vaxplant
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 44
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 3/6/2008 7:24:27 PM
Nope, most of us are pretty happy with life, and find people with similar world views. Usually they share a similar sense of humor. :)

If you don't get it, you don't. No biggie.
 youmightthink
Joined: 2/29/2008
Msg: 45
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 3/6/2008 11:27:14 PM

I see alot of people decribe themselfs as having a sence of humor that has a sarcastic bite or being witty with sarcasm. I am thinking this is a red flag for passive agressiveness. Usually sounds like unresoved isuues or even plain meanness. I know I had to stop that part of me because my family use to do it alot when i was growing up. It was like only the auther of the sarcasm though it was funny.


Depends on your own sense of humor. If you find sarcasm funny, then it's not a red flag. If you don't like it, then it is.

People from NY, and the New England area tend to have a different sense of humor than those in say, the midwest. Sarcasm is quite popular on the east coast.

Again, depends on what YOU find funny.
 classylady4800
Joined: 2/17/2008
Msg: 46
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 3/7/2008 4:46:40 AM
Sarcasm is not funny, it usually involves hurting someone. As my mother once said..if everyone is not laughing it's not funny...I prefer wit myself...
 classylady4800
Joined: 2/17/2008
Msg: 47
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 3/7/2008 7:36:08 AM
I think you are all confusing sarcasm with wit. Sarcasm is not a nice way of being humours, it bites and is usually meant to wound. Wit on the other hand is quick, and most times focussed on a situation as opposed to a person.
 SoLongThanksForAllTheFish
Joined: 6/14/2007
Msg: 48
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 3/7/2008 7:43:06 AM

Sarcasm is not funny, it usually involves hurting someone.


All humour is mean. Sarcasm is just unusually direct in its jabbing.

But again (and again and again)...

The OP's question wasn't whether sarcasm is good or not, the specific question was if it's a warning sign that somebody uses a lot of sarcasm. Yes, it surely is (or should be), because it hints at communication problems that are likely to make trouble in a relationship.

A few related examples:

I have a friend who, every now and then, starts making jokes about everything you're saying. I've never figured out what's behind this, think it happens when he has too much on his mind. Anyway, it's really annoying and despite being a good friend I quickly reach the stage of wanting to strangle him when he does this. If he were a woman, this wouldn't quite be a red flag but it would be a real relationship problem.

I once met another guy who made puns or word jokes on just about every comment that went by. Everyone who heard this wanted to strangle him; it was like trying to talk to a monkey. I once saw him literally clear a room; five or six people just walked away all at once and stopped talking to him. You'd have to be blind and deaf to miss that red flag.

On the bus once, I had the misfortune to overhear this conversation between a woman and somebody she knew from work. The woman had this bizarre habit of chuckling during every sentence she said, attempting to sound light-hearted I guess. However, it was so obviously fake and forced that it became really physically painful to listen to after a few minutes. Huge red flag.

There's the same basic problem in all of those and with a lot of these people who use sarcasm to express themselves; all these things hinder communication and get in the way of knowing people. Sarcasm is only special because it's easy to spot and tends to go with anger (whereas the examples above probably have more to do with shyness).
 basher2
Joined: 12/11/2007
Msg: 49
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Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 3/25/2008 8:22:19 PM

The man I am thinking of was doing standup a while back and still does but every joke he says he never shows any emotion with it and he always makes u ponder the response.Steven something I think but he had an afro like but he was caucasion.

Was it Stephen Wright? He once said he was walking down the street, and the prescription on his glasses ran out.

Word of advice. Be careful with sarcasm. Unless you are a better communicator than 99% of the world, people will misinterpret it. In fact, some of that mystery of whether you are being sarcastic or not is where sarcasm can be funny. Beware, though, because you could end up hurting someone you really don't want to, and sometimes, the effects don't go away...
 nocalsingledad
Joined: 11/27/2007
Msg: 50
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Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 3/25/2008 9:17:21 PM
"I am thinking this is a red flag for passive agressiveness."

Actually, I like women who have absolutely no sense of humor whatsoever. I will not tolerate the least bit of sarcasm, it is right out. Same with mirth in general. Nope, don't have the time. Yeah, sarcasm is a sign of mental issues if you ask me. No time for it. No time at all.

And speaking of Steven W. I like the one where he said he was in a bar one night hopping from one bar stool to the next in his attempts to "get lucky" ... but there was no gum under any of them.
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