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 canoist
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 51
Sarcasm red flag or not?Page 3 of 20    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)
To me, sarcasm is a conversational tool. Its how you USE that tool that matters so much. One can use it to be mean or one can use it to enliven a situation.

Its like a knife. If I walk into a public school or airport with a knife, its a weapon. If I walk into a kitchen or workshop with the same knife, its a useful implement. Even if I never use it!

Personally, I like sarcasm. But I realize there are many other fishes out there who don't. That means we just won't get along, so I go fishing again hoping to find a sarcasm-compatible fishie. My profile is full of sarcasm, so any sarcasm-resistant fishies won't likely get past that.
 Momarks
Joined: 12/29/2007
Msg: 52
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/29/2008 12:19:20 PM
CAnoe guy,
thinly veiled attempt to get us to view your profile... it worked.. although.....lol

your profile has the gentler, kinder version of sarcasm..

GEneral :
the OP hasn't been back to talk about which form of sarcasm he is questioning.

MOst people on here have agreed that the caustic form is very damaging in the short term as well as long term.

NO matter what, people on the receiving end may not ever forget the remark , nor will it's effect ever go away completely. Some compulsively sarcastic people seem to be completely oblivious to that fact It's like they can't help themselves.

The problem will SOME people who self-identify as being sarcastic is that this also requires a high degree of self awareness and intuitive sense as to who can handle it, when to use it, what not to mention (don't be sarcastic with a person who is sensitive about his large nose or her fat ass about those very things )and when to stop.
People SAY that they know all these things however this is not always the case.

I think many people have been in the uncomfortable situation of being in a room with someone who won't stop with the same sarcastic comment masquerading as a joke. These nutbars laugh uproariously at their own joke and take offense at anyone who takes offense.... " what's up with him? I was only joking !"
 Rachelle~C
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 53
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/29/2008 12:39:51 PM
Sarcasm does not necessarily mean that someone is cruel.Obviously you are not the type of person to find a sarcastic sense of humor funny.We would not get along well at all.
 TheFantasyArtist
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 54
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/29/2008 1:11:30 PM
The "dark side"? I walk the way of the Jedi,lol!
 skyydancerdreaming
Joined: 11/15/2007
Msg: 55
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/29/2008 3:22:16 PM
"To those that think it is a lack of intelligence to dislike sarcasm ... "

I didn't get the impression that most people thought you had to be intelligent to LIKE sarcasm. I believe it was stated you have to be intelligent to BE sarcastic.

Also, cruelty and sarcasm don't necessarily go hand in hand - they can, but they don't have to. I am very sarcastic at times, but I never deliberately hurt anyone. One can be cruel without being sarcastic, one can be sarcastically cruel, and one can be just plain ole' sarcastic
 transituser
Joined: 2/26/2008
Msg: 56
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/29/2008 3:49:57 PM
red flag is you are the butt of the sarcasm and it's clearly not well intentioned

not a red flag if you find it amusing and funny.

sarcasm for some is a self protective mechanism, sometimes unconscious or thinly veiled aggression

sarcasm for others is just plain clever irony.
 Lil Brooker
Joined: 12/29/2007
Msg: 57
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/29/2008 8:07:44 PM
Momarks,
Mssg 50. Excellent. You've described both sides of this debate.

ARe you talking about the caustic form of sarcasm, when negative comments are thrust at you almost constantly...
or
Are you talking about the sarcasm about life's little "ironies" : to highlight the difference between the expected and the reality?


IMO, your Corner Gas episode is humourous...and it is sarcastic.
I've experienced your former description of "sarcasm" for 15 yrs in a relationship not easy to walk away from. So, for me, when I read in a prophile, that someone has a sarcastic side, it's a pass. BTW, sarcasm comes from Greek and it means "to tear flesh". For some reason I couldn't post that yesterday.
 Harry Peter
Joined: 12/25/2006
Msg: 58
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/29/2008 9:28:10 PM
Your dating life must be hell OP.... dealing with people that have a sense of humor.........

What's next? You meet a woman, and come back here saying she's too serious?
 Blk_Archangel7
Joined: 12/21/2007
Msg: 59
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/29/2008 9:48:22 PM
there is a black and white to sarcasm. Depends on how people take it. For me, If it's on the joking funny side of things it really wouldn't bug me. But if it were on the cruel side of things just to be an ass or a ****, then I wouldn't give them the time of day.

I have a black and white sense of humour as well, less sarcastic but more of an attitude kind of sense of humour. I can say things or do things that might cause people laugh or do things that cause people to get pissed off.
 kathareeene
Joined: 7/26/2007
Msg: 60
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/29/2008 10:09:41 PM
whaaaaaaaaaaaat?
im the most sarcastic person in the WORLD
with a HEART OF GOLD
so no ur wrong
just readin too much into stuff always gets u in trouble
kathi
 ~*Angel Eyes*~
Joined: 2/17/2008
Msg: 61
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/29/2008 11:02:01 PM
I can take jokes easily, and I make my own jokes. I came across those that 1)GET ME. They laugh, and know not to take me serious.. and then 2) The huffy kind that gets all mad/upset over something lame. I don't like people that can't take sarcasm.
 Soul Union
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 62
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/29/2008 11:07:00 PM
I have been thinking about this for awhile. I see alot [sic] of people decribe [sic] themselfs [sic] as having a sence [sic] of humor that has a sarcastic bite or being witty with sarcasm. I am thinking this is a red flag for passive agressiveness [sic]. Usually sounds like unresoved [sic] isuues [sic] or even plain meanness. I know I had to stop that part of me because my family use to do it alot [sic] when i [sic] was growing up. It was like only the auther [sic] of the sarcasm though [sic] it was funny.
Im [sic] sure Im [sic] going to here [sic] alot [sic] of critism [sic] over it but bring it on. Lets [sic] see how it plays out Interested in seeing what otheres [sic] have to say on the matter. Sarcasm funny or not? Sarcasm sign of a bumpy road ahead? Start of just being mean and abusive to one another? - Ill light your fuse

> Well, your spelling is funny enough.
> - Soul Union.
 QUICKSILVER217
Joined: 11/22/2006
Msg: 63
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/29/2008 11:10:49 PM
Sarcasm is negative, it has undertones of contempt - the world is a better place without it. Personally it seems to go hand in hand with deceit, outright lying, selfishness, conceit, insensitivity and a whole grab bag of negative personality traits. I walk away from such people and don't tolerate their put downs as funny or fun towards myself or others. Sarcasm is not welcome in my home nor in my workspace.
 Soul Union
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 64
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/29/2008 11:15:16 PM

Sarcasm is negative, it has undertones of contempt - the world is a better place without it. Personally it seems to go hand in hand with deceit, outright lying, selfishness, conceit, insensitivity and a whole grab bag of negative personality traits. I walk away from such people and don't tolerate their put downs as funny or fun towards myself or others. Sarcasm is not welcome in my home nor in my workspace. - quicksilver217

> I'm with quicksilver217.
> - Soul Union.
 cncgandolf
Joined: 7/29/2007
Msg: 65
view profile
History
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/29/2008 11:17:21 PM
Why do sarcastic people have such a problem with non-sarcastic who don't want to be around sarcastic people being aware that we don't want to be around sarcastic people? There are plenty of ways to have humor and sarcastic people are welcome to theirs and I am welcome not to hang out with them or go to their comedy shows or watch their comedy shows on TV, etc. It is my choice to have the limitation.

A non-sarcastic person wanted to know if any other people considered sarcasm a red flag. Yes, there are some of us who do use it as a limiter. There are others who are attracted by it. As the site says ... plentyoffish.
 Soul Union
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 66
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/29/2008 11:34:51 PM
You'll likely get a lot more criticism for your almost lethal inability to spell.
Little tip: when you've typed out your post, take a moment to look at what you've written. See all those words with little red lines underneath? Those are mis-spelled words!!! Please, for the love of God, CORRECT them BEFORE you post!!! As it is, your post is damn near unreadable, as it has so many errors (typos?) that it seems to have been written by a monkey wearing oven mitts. While this banging on about lousy spelling may seem a bit much, the fact is that, after a certain point, bad spelling becomes so distracting as to over-ride any message the poster may be trying to convey. What was the topic again...? - grog27

> It's not a problem, grog27. People love to read posts like his. Spelling is not an issue today, grammar is a thing of the past, and sentence construction flew out the window a long time ago. What matters today is sarcasm. That's all we need.
> - Soul Union.
 et1000rr
Joined: 12/23/2007
Msg: 67
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 3/1/2008 4:46:09 AM
I'm quite certain anyone who uses to sarcasm to insult people on an hourly basis is not going to be everyone's friend. I highly doubt the OP was referring to this type of sarcasm.

Sarcasm isn't used 100% of the time to be insulting. You can use it to insult people without their knowledge if your good at it but again i don't think that's what was meant.

Sarcasm can most definitely be humorous. So for the people who started pulling the dictionary definition. If I called you a "fag" would you be upset? The definition is a bundle of sticks. And for my UK friends isn't a fag also slang for cigarette?

If people use sarcasm without the intent of making you laugh, then their just mean. Again, the OP didn't ask this...he said a sarcastic sense of HUMOR...which means the intent is to be funny........................................beating a dead horse.......
 et1000rr
Joined: 12/23/2007
Msg: 68
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 3/1/2008 4:52:10 AM
Why do sarcastic people have such a problem with non-sarcastic who don't want to be around sarcastic people being aware that we don't want to be around sarcastic people? There are plenty of ways to have humor and sarcastic people are welcome to theirs and I am welcome not to hang out with them or go to their comedy shows or watch their comedy shows on TV, etc. It is my choice to have the limitation.

A non-sarcastic person wanted to know if any other people considered sarcasm a red flag. Yes, there are some of us who do use it as a limiter. There are others who are attracted by it. As the site says ... plentyoffish. ~ cncgandolf

because we think we're smarter than you and you should be attracted to smart people... :)
 skyskicycle
Joined: 11/15/2007
Msg: 69
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 3/1/2008 4:55:23 AM
Yes I think sarcasm is one way of telling you they dont get along with alot of people: )
 petebelongs
Joined: 6/23/2006
Msg: 70
view profile
History
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 3/1/2008 5:05:32 AM
OP, you're obviously too sensitive to be able to handle a real relationship. You'd be better served sticking to one night stands. Geez, these new generation sensitive males.
 J.R.0950
Joined: 11/5/2007
Msg: 71
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 3/1/2008 5:26:13 AM
wtf???is everyone out there thinking they`re the 2nd coming of dr. phil or something?sarcasm is in everyone of us,since the dawn of civilization!damn get a grip people,accept it and get on with things,stop looking for that so called pefrect person,theres no perfect person,there was only one perfect person in history and the jews crucified him!pull your heads out!
 transituser
Joined: 2/26/2008
Msg: 72
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 3/1/2008 5:31:32 AM
I concur, why uphold a preference for sarcasm as a perfectly acceptable form of communication, when clearly, not everyone agrees? The topic is valuable because for some any form of sarcasm is not wanted and for others, it is to varying degrees. When you tell someone they are too sensitive you are showing your own insensitivity to other's feelings. It easy to wear one's glibness and sharp tongue as a cloak to not have to accept responsibility for what you say to other's, under the guise of being sarcastic. Words do cause pain and I'm sure we have all felt the sting of someone else's words, it stays with you and perhaps those are the scars you cannot see with the naked eye. Unfortunately for some the light bulb has not gone on that perhaps they go overboard in the name of sarcasm.
 et1000rr
Joined: 12/23/2007
Msg: 73
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 3/1/2008 5:32:54 AM
awesome for this thread...a perfect person being one that not a single person can prove existed...
(that's not sarcasm...it's "dark" humor at the expense of religion....in no way intended to be taken seriously)
 Desi1955
Joined: 9/28/2006
Msg: 74
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 3/1/2008 5:36:11 AM

Sarcasm is negative, it has undertones of contempt - the world is a better place without it. Personally it seems to go hand in hand with deceit, outright lying, selfishness, conceit, insensitivity and a whole grab bag of negative personality traits. I walk away from such people and don't tolerate their put downs as funny or fun towards myself or others. Sarcasm is not welcome in my home nor in my workspace.


Well said, Quicksilver217. I've also found that many of those traits tend to go together. People don't realize how ugly and negative sarcasm can be, even if it's not directed specifically at you...it spreads bad vibes to everyone within earshot. I also won't stay around sarcastic people...maybe that should be another POF filter we can put up
 BobRuinedTheDate
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 75
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 3/1/2008 5:36:49 AM
This is, perhaps, the most elucidative and brilliant thread I've ever seen on POF or any other of the 17 or 18 internet forums I regularly comment on. It sings, like a choir of perfectly pitched cherubs serenading God Himself, of a purity of thought and purpose that I can scarcely bear to enjoin my mind from engaging at this time. My God, man, how did you come up with this? What robust spirits of vigorous thought and examination have possessed you to tear open the very fabric of the old paradigm and flood it with a brilliant starlight that is nearly blinding in its beauty and illumination? My God. My God. How did you do this?
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