Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Sarcasm red flag or not?      Home login  
Joined: 7/25/2008
Msg: 76
Sarcasm red flag or not?Page 4 of 20    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)
hmm.. now I'm thinking about you and demsey wearing nothing but red flags..

Yes.. a lack of sarcasm is a red flag for me! If the other person can't enjoy a bit of sarcasm I don't feel that they live in a reality based community.

Joined: 1/2/2008
Msg: 77
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 11/3/2008 4:32:24 PM
That is a good point. I joke around a lot and sometimes have been sarcastic especially to my friends. Thanks that gives me something to consider. Humor is not meant to hurt others but to get them to laugh with you.
Joined: 10/30/2008
Msg: 78
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 11/3/2008 5:22:05 PM
Sarcasm when wielded by the right user can be really funny. However I do believe that a lot of people use sarcasm as a way of insulting, thinking it will sound better with a little sarcasm sprinkled in for flavor. I'm not even sure all realize their own intent, or how it sounds.

I agree there is two kinds of sarcasm. One is mean and never appropriate, the other can be really funny! White & black sarcasm is a great way of putting it.

I enjoy sarcasm with my friends who have earned the right to say anything to me. I use it my self in the same situation. Though not as a regular source of communication. Some people earn that right faster than others. It all depends.

I laugh and enjoy at sarcasm a lot when it isn't said to hurt anyone.

When reading a profile, if I see sarcasm used as a way to describe themselves I walk away. It's a red flag to me. I assume they have anger issues, be insensitive, or may just be mean.

I might be missing someone terrific, and maybe they don't use the mean sort of sarcasm... but I don't want to find out.

I have been around too many sarcastic people that other people thought were funny, as long as that sarcasm wasn't directed at them. Guess it's fun to some to laugh at other people. I don't find that amusing. But often times those people get a lot of positive feedback from people other than their victims that are amused by this, and think they are funny people... encouraging them.

These same people when they hurt someones feelings claim those people just have thin skin, or no sense of humor. Humor shouldn't be degrading, insulting, or hurtful.

I don't mind sarcasm on the first few dates, while getting to know someone. If it's used the right way it can be very funny! If it's evil I want to know that too, cancel that second date.
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 79
view profile
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 11/3/2008 10:57:27 PM
It can be funny if not directed at one person...

I tend to use it when in the heat of a flag.
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 80
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 11/4/2008 4:40:08 AM
The people that love sarcasm think they have the wit of Oscar Wilde and intelligence of William Shakespeare. Too funny.

Most (99%) are simply not mentally equipped to really deliver it with just the right amount of cutting irony and self-deprecation. Leave proper sarcasm to the masters and quit living in your own world of grand illusions. You're not that funny or witty, people.
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 81
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 11/4/2008 9:55:50 AM

well damn, aren't YOU special ... do you place yourself in the 99th percentile?

If you read my previous posts in this thread you'd know the answer -- I hate sarcasm. I was speaking with blunt honesty about how I feel about your ilk. Learn to tell the difference.

Was this your attempt at sarcastic humor? Absolutely charming. (If you didn't recognize it that was sarcastic humor).

More of the same. Your inability to even grasp it proves my point, that people who wield sarcasm are usually the first to act defensively if they feel it's being used against them, then automatically use it as a weapon in retaliation. Nice vicious cycle, and usually how things end up. Someone's feelings get hurt in the end, ALWAYS.

My case proven, twice.

Wouldn't it be much nicer to avoid indulging in the nasty practice in the first place?
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 82
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 11/4/2008 10:36:24 AM
No. To me, there is no "good" sarcasm (and I think way too many people are mistaking it for good-natured ribbing and kidding around -- in the context I'm talking about they are two totally different behaviors). The possibility is too great for even the most innocent (when is sarcasm ever innocent?) to degenerate into mean-spirited jabs and vicious back and forth's. Exhibit One is above.

People that use it usually have no conception of how to wield it properly or be cognizant of how it may hurt other people. We've all seen it happen way too many times. I don't like it, period.
Joined: 8/4/2008
Msg: 83
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 11/4/2008 11:04:05 AM
I think its been proven in this thread that people can be rude, insulting, and have a superior attitude without using sarcasm. The attitude behind the words matters more than the manner of delivery.
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 84
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 11/4/2008 1:08:42 PM

Snow: You are very opinionated and have no right to tell others what they should or should not like.

Opinionated? Wow. And just what does everybody do in here -- give opinions? Just what the hell do you think you’re doing? Oh, I see, it’s only wrong, egotistical, and arrogant if “others” say something that doesn’t agree with “you”, right? Got it. I have just as much right to voice my OPINIONS on this matter as you, and won’t be silenced by anybody. Get over your own self.

Dempcey: No..that was my response to an insulting aggressive rude *#&$#^$ putting me into a box not knowing a damn thing about me. Assuming he knows and understands who I am because I am and can be sarcastic.

No, YOU put yourself in that box because you thought I was speaking to you personally in my "original" posts you’re obviously referring to. I did nothing of the kind. YOU took that leap and automatically went right into fight mode.

If you use sarcasm with your friends and they know exactly what you mean and where you’re coming from, fine. But many don’t make such a distinction. I can’t tell you how many first emails I get from women that are very sarcastic, and when I ask them what they mean (since I don’t have that special relationship close friends and family do), they quickly get all apologetic and contrite. How nice. Too late.
Joined: 11/18/2006
Msg: 85
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 11/4/2008 1:55:51 PM
Isnt it great how forum topics such as this, really bring all of us closer together??...
Joined: 9/30/2007
Msg: 86
view profile
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 11/4/2008 4:25:27 PM
I don't like sarcasm.. I like dry and witty.. something I am not by the way.. but I don't care for sarcasm..

I enjoy satyre.. but to me there is a difference.. sarcasm the way I define it is personally directed at a person.. by another person in a one on one interaction.. not kind.. and definitely not cool in my book.

And I think it is either a form of passive aggression or intimidation.. IMO.
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 87
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 11/30/2008 2:06:38 PM
I'm one of the most sarcastic people anyone will come across. So I don't know how I would feel if someone was the same level that I am. I would probably need someone to balance me. I also make fun of myself so I know I can take whatever I dish out. To each his own.
Joined: 10/6/2006
Msg: 88
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 12/12/2008 10:11:36 PM
Yes, in a couple of significant ways.

Anyone who defines their sense of humour as predominantly sarcastic is stating that they are truly mean spirited, much of the time, in either their humour or their communication. If not that then they, like many folks including some commenting in this thread, may have never availed themselves of any of the dictionary definitions so handy to the motivated internet user. If they have, the understanding or vocabulary would seem to be lacking. This latter group seems to confuse the concept of satire or irony for sarcasm. These may be related however they're not the same.

Like the current use of "impact" with no modifier in lieu of "affect" it is often lazy speech.

In either case I may read more of a profile to give the usage context and I'll generally skip anyone who strongly falls into either camp as likely being unpleasant company or not mildly well read enough to communicate above the level of what passes for wit in much of the programming for television today.

None of this means I have not or will not employ sarcasm, however it is but one item of speech or commentary. Hope that provides yet another useful perspective.
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 89
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 12/13/2008 3:05:59 PM
Good freakin God, sarcasm isn't sexy???
Someone should have told me this long ago...... WTF?

I think some of you folks ^^^^^ have bashing or attacking confused with wit, satire, and facetiousness... check your dictionary.

There's a vast difference beteen someone who uses sarcasm in a critical or demeaning manner, and someone who uses it as a tool for communicating intellectually.
Joined: 3/26/2008
Msg: 90
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 12/13/2008 3:28:39 PM
A lot of people don't even really know what 'sarcasm' mean. They think they're incredibly sarcastic and funny and alas, they are not. Like women who say, "I'm SUCH a b*tch!" They imagine themselves as Sandra Bernhard or Roseanne. Most people do not get sarcasm and do not do it very well. I know it sounds nasty. Same with humor. Everyone wants someone with a sense of humor. But being genuinely funny on your own is another thing. Also, sense of humor IS essential. Someone who has NO sense of humor is somoene who has a zero IQ or worse, really bad news in some evil way.
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 91
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/6/2009 7:54:58 AM
Again, seems people who love sarcasm do not fully understand the context in which people that don't view it.

Definition of sarcasm...

1. A cutting, often ironic remark intended to wound.
2. A form of wit that is marked by the use of sarcastic language and is intended to make its victim the butt of contempt or ridicule.

From what I can tell, the closest approximation to what sarcastic people "think" they're doing is wit.

Definition of wit...

1 The natural ability to perceive and understand; intelligence.
a. Keenness and quickness of perception or discernment; ingenuity. Often used in the plural: living by one's wits.
b. Sound mental faculties; sanity: scared out of my wits.
a. The ability to perceive and express in an ingeniously humorous manner the relationship between seemingly incongruous or disparate things.
b. One noted for this ability, especially one skilled in repartee.
c. A person of exceptional intelligence

Wit has all kinds of sub-genres: rapier, dry, acerbic, etc. -- but they all presuppose a certain amount of awareness, intelligence, and humility that most who use sarcasm either don't possess or use very badly. It's this misuse and inappropriateness that mangles whatever utility sarcasm has for most of its practitioners, and why I hate it so. Context is crucial.
Joined: 6/24/2008
Msg: 92
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/6/2009 9:27:58 AM
for some, sarcasm is intended to wound....maybe only to deflect some perceived inner demon projected. The person offended...may, too, just have too thin skin...

SARCHASM; the vast gulf between what a true wit quickly quipped,
which the hapless mark, witless twit, utterly missed.....
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 93
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/6/2009 9:31:22 AM
It's a big red flag. I can be jokingly sometimes, but it's not nice. I would be afraid to consider someone who is constantly sarcastic.
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 94
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/6/2009 9:37:23 AM
Interesting how sarcastic and humour/witt have been placed together to almost form a singular word. You can be sarcastic and intelligent at the same time, but I'm thinking the intelligence part takes a back seat if the sarcasm is used to bolster your own self-esteem issues. Chances are, more often than not, the only ones who will find the sarcasm humourous or witty are the ones said sarcasm isn't being directed at. Too often, those self-admitted sarcastic humourists use it as a way of deflecting a poor character trait, ie. "Whaaaat??!! It was only a joke!" - usually followed up by, "Gawd, are you ever sensitive."
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 95
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/6/2009 11:02:38 AM
^^^ so true...know the company you keep and who can take what you're dishing out in the way it's intended.
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 96
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/6/2009 11:09:31 AM
If sarcasm is used amongst friends/family, and they know your "exact" intent and meaning behind it, to each their own, but from what I've observed deeply sarcastic people never make such fine distinctions. They paint everyone with the same, broad brush of ridicule and condescension.

And this doesn't concern "standing the heat" (a telling admission if there ever was one). Is that what one equates it with; what this all comes down to? The argument that if one can't stand the full treatment, and be able to fire back with equal venom, they're somehow "unworthy" enough to be a friend? What nonsense.

If smug meanness and the ability to enjoy "ripping apart" people (or taking perverse pleasure in having it done to you) is your cuppa tea, fine, but it's not mine and many others, if the posts in this thread are any indication.

Like I wrote earlier, too many mistake it for being witty, but instead come off as insensitive morons.

I also detect this theme: people who use it to keep others "grounded", or like it used against them as some twisted way to keep their own ego in check. How about this, why not avoid sounding like a loudmouthed, arrogant, egotistical imbecile in the first place?
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 97
view profile
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/6/2009 11:17:57 AM
I have a very low opinion on sarcastic people, for they have low selfsteem and they are bitter people, it is waste of time talking with them,the conversation is bantering or attacking, in a mean way of conversation camouflage of funny jokes.
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 98
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/6/2009 2:02:20 PM
I have no problem with sarcastic humour from friends and laughter right now is because of your analogy. Pencils don't have behaviour traits, people do... and how and when to use sarcasm and with whom is up to them. It's not like an uncontrollable tick.......or is it?
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 99
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/6/2009 3:17:08 PM
Lost and Found, it's amusing and rather ironic I’m being lectured about being pompous and egotistical by someone who “admits” using his words as weapons—as swords, daggers—with the express purpose to “rip” others (your own word).

We come back to distinctions again.

If you’re defending harmless, witty banter and repartee, we have no quarrel. But that’s not what you’re defending -- is it. We both know that, don’t we?

I laid out what I believe the distinctions are between sarcasm and playful, innocent kidding quite clearly throughout this thread. There should be no misunderstanding, misinterpretation, or mistake in meaning here.

If, after all that, you still think “true” sarcasm is worth defending so strongly we will always clash. That’s too bad. I don’t want to make enemies of anyone, but I also know what I don’t like when it comes to behavior; what I will and won't put up with. I'm sure you feel the same about certain kinds of behavior that rubs you the wrong way, too. At least on this subject, we'll never see eye to eye. You're under no obligation to agree or even like me, and vice-versa.

Maybe in person you might come off as extremely charming and funny, don't know. If so you're probably not engaging in the textbook sarcasm I'm talking about here, and mistaking it for something else entirely.
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 100
Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/6/2009 3:19:25 PM
@ Lost and Found - I know...I was just being sarcastic. What struck me even funnier was picturing spontaneous sarcasm in my anology of it being like an uncontrollable tick. It was a visual I had where sarcasm spews from a person with no thought behind it (I guess you had to be there...or here...or sumpin)
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Sarcasm red flag or not?