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Joined: 3/12/2008
Msg: 306
why do men think they can use women for sex?Page 5 of 51    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)
well baby girl i think his a dog for doing that to you.I'm not mad at you at all ok.
Joined: 12/23/2007
Msg: 310
why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 3/17/2008 11:25:39 AM
All I can say is if you weren't in a private location... ie vulnerable... it probably would not have happened. You were in the perfect situation to let things get carried away and when those hormones start yelling, it is natural to want to satisfy them. BUT... the consequences are, most often, what you have experienced.

Yep... it was your choice, too, so you can't place blame except that, as others have said so eloquently, the guy has no class and no balls. Oh well, live and learn ... you'll keep on learning from every experience... believe me.

Next time you'll know what not to do. Treat yourself like your best friend... with respect.
Joined: 10/11/2006
Msg: 311
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why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 3/17/2008 2:43:37 PM
Sorry You had such an experience. I see no reason not to have sex on first date if both agree. But for me, if the chemistry was there for the first time I certainly would be back for more. The more you are together the better it gets. Just speaking for myself.
 Lovely Lady for Sure
Joined: 8/7/2005
Msg: 323
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why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 4/11/2008 5:51:02 PM
The truth of the matter is that a lot of men are like that....biology? Or just ***holes?
Question of the day.
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 325
why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 4/11/2008 9:32:04 PM
Opie ~~ I had something similar happen to me at about your age, 'cept I knew the dude for months at my church. And it was the 70's (dear God I miss the 70's). He even quit coming to church 'cause he knew he'd have to face me, lol!

Trooth of the matter is the ONLY reason I remember him at all is that he is my ONLY one night stand. The other trooth is I used him as well. I just would have used him longer. . . . He wasn't mate material. Evah. And I knew it. But I was horny as H and so was he. I just expected him to be around for a while.

He wasn't brave, and he wasn't courteous. But he did save me from the nastiness of having to be the one that told him it wasn't all that serious. And I did learn: don't go to bed with someone you can't believe yourself with for years. And it just takes a while to make that determination.

Sorry you got hurt. Feels nasty for quite a while. (Maybe years.) But still: a cheap lesson, really. Just don't feel you have to repeat it. And for absolute sure, don't blame the whole sex! It is just this one fella (okay, maybe a few), but it sure isn't the whole other half of the human race.

Joined: 4/5/2008
Msg: 326
why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 4/11/2008 9:45:53 PM
I make sure that if I expect a guy is only after sex and is anxious to meet me, I am sure to let him know that I am NOT going to meet him in private unless we meet at least 3 times in public first. That usually sends these jerks running so I don't have to waste my time meeting these idiots. They will all try to put on their 'nice guy' face just long enough to get you to meet him. I don't know how guys can get you to think it is the women's idea to have sex, but they are quite good at playing that game. Guys know what we are looking for so they pretend to want what we do just long enough to get what they want and then disappear of the planet. I don't think we will ever meet any guy who will meet the same woman twice, even if they are able to get what they want the first time they see you. They will always look for someone better until they are dead. I met a guy who lied about his age convince me to meet him pretending to be what I was looking for. He turned out to be at least 70 I was afraid he would die before he got back home. All he really wanted when I met him was to have someone come to his house while his 'daughter' was working to have a 'bootie' call visit. He told me he could still make a woman happy. I don't think any guy can think of anything else and he will do anything to get it. Pretty scary when you think these perverts are walking the streets.

Didn't you know that all guys think that sex is all women are good for? I have even had a couple of guys admit they think like that. I have no idea why I bother looking - I guess I still belive in miracles. If I look long and hard enough I will find the last living male on the planet that doesn't live only to keep his****happy.
Joined: 3/1/2008
Msg: 334
why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 4/11/2008 11:46:14 PM
I think that you were upset that he didn't have the decency to at least speak to you
as a human being. I meanthis loose hussy (HIM) did drop his pants at least he should have called you back and given you an explanation. If he is a man he definately was missing his ballZ. It is just the decency of a human being to speak to you and return your e-mail afterwards. To be an amicable adult in which many men lack. Ignoring you just makes you angry.
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 337
why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 4/12/2008 8:09:48 AM

Men thinks they can use us for sex,,,because we allow them to do it,,,once we say "no" and stick to it, maybe only then they will start showing us respect,,,,

This man doesn't think he can use a woman for sex,, if a woman has sex with a man, and she regrets or no regrets, that was her choice, good or bad, both men and woman need to step up and take responsibility for their actions,, stop blaming the other... They should know and understand what they are doing and why. Why is it,, so many can't take control of who they are. But rather blame someone else (man or woman) for their mistakes, hell even their happiness depends on other people, (true happiness is with in ourselves)
That has nothing to do with respect. First a man or woman, they need to respect themselves, second respect of another person is earned, then given. That does not mean we live our lives disrespectful, until respect is earned..(open mind until proven other wise)
Just because a man has sex with a woman, by no means, does it mean he does not respect her, All it means is,, two people had sex, If a man or woman want something more than that,, discuss it before sex,, how hard is that,, If things work out great,, if not stop complaining and move forward,, learn from it, if you feel you made a mistake,, but blaming the other person is non productive,, makes some men and woman bitter.. life is short, we can choose to enjoy it in any way we see fit, what works for us, if a woman is just giving sex to a man, for the mans pure enjoyment, and your receive nothing in return,, then stop and quit complaining..........
Joined: 5/28/2007
Msg: 339
why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 4/12/2008 10:57:52 AM
I think that Libre got it right in message 11.

I also think that women have to understand something about men and sex. Just because I guy has a climax, that doesn't mean it was necessarily a satisfying experience for him. It is very difficult to know what to say when you've slept with someone and it hasn't gone well for you--climax or not--especially when the conversation leading up to things was good.

A stand-up guy would probably just call and say, "thanks, it was fun but it went too fast for me and I got spooked. Sorry!"

One reason guys just vanish is because we're not supposed to get spooked. We're also just supposed to like whatever we're served --so to speak. But we do and we don't, though it can be hard to know what to say without coming off as cruel or crass when either of those things happen.

So, some of us just bail. Would you rather hear from us that we were disappointed or scared off by something you did or said? Or would it be easier for you just to go on thinking that it's about a man's cowardice?

Two situations come to mind. One woman got overly enthusiastic to the point that I was in serious pain right after I'd reached the point of no return. I mean _painful._ I ached for almost a week afterward. I couldn't tell if she'd done it on purpose and I really didn't want to give her the satisfaction by showing anything if she'd meant to hurt me like that. Later, I'd see her from time to time because we went to the same nightclub and I simply avoided her. Very awkward. I eventually told her why, but she just blew me off as if I'd made it all up.

Another time a woman came over to my house, and after we'd been making out I started getting this very creepy feeling. Here was this woman, whom I didn't know all that well, making out with me in my house! She knew where I lived! If she turned out to be some sort of wacko, I could be in big trouble. So I cooled it with her even though it probably wasn't fair. How do you say to someone, I'm backing off because you know where I live and I just got creeped out. In her case, I didn't have a specific reason, just a wierd feeling. So, I was cool when she called and gradually backed off. But I didn't ask her out again.

Sometimes there's no good reason. Sometimes a guy figures that you really don't want to know.
Joined: 11/2/2006
Msg: 346
why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 4/12/2008 11:43:57 AM
Why don't you take some responsibility for what happened? From your post, he didn't rape you - or did he?

For one thing, all of your preliminary words laying out what you expected (on a first date) were just total BS on your part. If they weren't BS, you wouldn't have ended up in bed with this guy.

Do you believed you were seduced? Even so any woman can resist seduction if she wants to. One thing led to another means you both got hot for each other and ended up in bed. Call a spade a spade. This was a one nite stand. That became apparent when he didn't call back.

The problem many people have in life is they refuse to see the roles they play in situations. The result is hurt feelings and feeling resentful (towards the guy in this case). Without taking some measure of responsibility, we become bitter and jaded about life in general of which there is plenty of evidence here.

If you have certain standards regarding dating, then stick to them. Ask yourself was the roll in the hay worth the bad feelings afterwards? And then again, if you wanted a role in the hay and enjoyed it, you should be left with the feelings of a pleasurable experience.

Unfortunately, this experience has left you with bad view of men. Notice you have generalized this event to include the entire opposite sex or "men" not this one particular man.

The Eagle
Joined: 12/5/2007
Msg: 350
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why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 4/12/2008 12:56:42 PM
Honey they been doing that since Adam & Eve so why should things change now?
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 352
why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 4/12/2008 2:22:57 PM

Lysistrata should be required reading for all girls in elementary school. The sooner we get this nipped in the bud, the better off life will be for us.

Alas -- too late. Better bedtime stories for toddlers. . . .

p.s., I know I don't tell you half often enough how much I love your mind, but W. O. W. !.!.!.
Joined: 11/1/2006
Msg: 354
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why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 4/12/2008 4:02:15 PM
When are women ever going to get a fair shake on the sexual seduction thing? I mean really, it's just so sad. Some man, please give a woman a break and let her seduce him.
Joined: 11/1/2006
Msg: 357
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why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 4/12/2008 6:21:03 PM

I was told once that I was a great "sausage warmer", so that was not a compliment?

perhaps if he said that the sight of you was a great....
Joined: 8/11/2006
Msg: 363
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why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 4/16/2008 11:23:47 PM

Hmm...I say cut his balls off!

Watch the dates line up for this one.

Please ladies, sometimes a single guy is just horny and looking for a playmate, it is not HIS fault if you have sex and your illusion that you are the best thing in the world in bed and because of one night he doesn't end up so ****-struck that he follows you around like a puppy.

Then you see tigerlily1's entire post, or even her profile. Now there is a woman who has her head together (not kissing ass to get somewhere either 1 she is half a world away and 2 I am unavailable). So thank you for giving the single guys out there the hint that if they keep looking there are still a few sane ones left.

Takes two to have sex, so the responsibility also lies with those two.
Joined: 8/27/2007
Msg: 368
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why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 4/17/2008 8:24:19 AM
Here's the thing

Women will listen to your words as an indicator of who you are and what you are really all about.

Men will look at your actions, and forget what you said. It just won't matter if inside you have different ideas or if you TELL them what you really believe think and want... if they don't see it in action, it doesn't exist.

If you want men to take you seriously you have to SHOW your integrity and that your intentions are solid.. your words and actions have to be congruent.

from your example: You SAID you wanted to be more than friends, or maybe keep seeing each other and that it wasn't about getting laid... then you allowed sex on the first date (even going over to his home was a risky thing... and sent a different message than the one that was coming out of your mouth) So he probably thinks you were just flappin' your gums.

This doesn't excuse rudeness of course, but it's the way it is. Not having sex right away and establishing good boundaries has a LOT more meaning to men thn just saying what you think feel or want. It isn't about playing hard to get.. it's about establishing trust and respect.

Basically you have to be a woman of your word to get respect fom a lot of guys...
Joined: 8/11/2006
Msg: 369
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why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 4/17/2008 8:39:29 AM
Very well put by the last two posters.

We need both forms of communication, and they must be consistent if you expect us to believe them.

You want friends first then don't put out the first time we meet, you just want a bed-buddy then don't call me at 4am because you "miss" me, if you are looking for long-term but have no plans for yourself and your life .....

If both match up in what we see and hear then we aren't likely to misunderstand eachother.
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 376
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why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 4/21/2008 9:51:12 AM
Because you allow them to. What do you expect from a man if you sleep with him on the first date???? Try getting to know a guy first.
Joined: 3/20/2008
Msg: 377
why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 4/21/2008 3:09:29 PM

Because you allow them to. What do you expect from a man if you sleep with him on the first date???? Try getting to know a guy first.

I didn't even read this topic, and yet I agree right there with fancynanci's statement.

It takes two to tango...and I believe most of the time women can see when they are being lied to and used...but they so badly want to wish and hope that it won't be a lie that they end up getting used.

I know there are some playas who just have an amazing con and can trick women into bed, but I believe most of the rest are women who thought that maybe he might be "different" when everything inside and around them said "HE'S LYING TO YOU!"

It's like when a guy meets a hot girl who quickly turns a little psycho, but they tolerate it and try to work around it in the hopes of having that hot girlfriend...then she becomes a total headcase and thus the guy then complains how women are messed up.

Self-accountability's gotta start happening or both genders are screwed.
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 385
why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 4/22/2008 12:03:01 AM
Why do you think you were used instaed of the other way around? He didn't hold a gun to your head and make you get into bed with him.
Joined: 2/19/2007
Msg: 389
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why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 4/22/2008 4:45:49 AM
Well i have to say ! after reading most of the posts here , my score on the responses is -
Men - 8.5 for Effort
Women - 5 for no Substance to their Effort, and head in the Sand Attitude.
I hope Women are reading what guys are Saying here ! They are trying to explain how it is in this world of Dating and Relationships. I think many women are still reading the `Romance Novels, and still believe in the Dream, i suppose Men would too! if they had a never ending supply of Attention !
Joined: 5/28/2007
Msg: 390
why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 4/23/2008 12:00:38 AM
^^^ Yep. The problem with being in the privileged role is that you don't have to learn from your mistakes.
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 395
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why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 4/23/2008 5:34:09 PM
If he can't talk to you now...I think he's a coward....You guys should not have done that but everyone is entitled to make mistakes now and then...just learn from it and try not to do it again....nobody is perfect
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 398
why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 4/23/2008 7:12:45 PM
Why do some men think they can use some women for sex?

B/c they get away with it, time and time again. You told him you weren't looking for a serious relationship, but not a one night stand, either...which opens up a lot of room for "interpretation". Narrowing down what you want probably helps.

As for this particular guy, yeah, he's a cad. But take it as a reflection on him, not you. You said no one night stands, and it sure sounds like he made it into one.
Joined: 10/6/2007
Msg: 400
why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 4/23/2008 10:32:42 PM
OP... you told him you weren't looking for anything serious or a one night stand and then you start making out with him on the first date, have sex and then can't understand what happened?

Sex on the first or even second date... kiss of death. He probably thought if you were that quick to sleep with him, you're probably out there doing it with everyone.... even if that isn't the case.

I do think it's horrible for someone not to be adult enough to tell you why they won't be seeing you again, but I also think you probably need to rethink what it is you want.

If you're not looking for a one night stand, why are you putting yourself into situations where temptation would probably take over? You talked for a while and then watched a movie? Okay, the movie theater might have been a better choice.

You watched a movie and then started making out? You're alone with him, making out with him, then things "just happened?" What happened to saying no if you aren't looking for a one night stand?

Sometimes people will tell you anything you want to hear in order to get what they want. It doesn't hurt that you're giving him a green light to get away with it.

I never have a man at my house or go to his until we've been seeing each other for a bit. I make sure we're in public places. I not only tell the guy I am not looking for quick fixes, but I know how to say no and mean it.

The proof is in the preverbial pudding.

Never believe words.

Believe actions.

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