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Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 11
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he hasn't called, don't know what to do?Page 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Get quiet and meditate...You DO know how...just close your eyes and feel...Feel what you know is there...

the answers WILL come from within you.....

No one else has the answers to YOUR life.

Not for you, or anyone else...You have to grow your own soul. You have to get to know yourself...More and more deeply...

You have to find out what is true for you. No one else's truth will EVER be good enough.

It's the only answer that will ever REALLY satisfy you. I promise.

All else will be someone else's 'good idea'..Not yours. Become authentically you...It's the only game in town.

So many on POF, and everywhere really, are stumbling around in the dark, thinking someone else has the answers...but it is just the blind leading the blind.

You might get good advice at might get some awful advice, but ultimately sooner or later, you have to go within...

No one but you has the formula for your life... in this situation, and all the ones to come.

That's the good news, (AND the bad news)...For everyone :-}
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 13
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he hasn't called, don't know what to do?
Posted: 3/7/2008 4:35:25 PM
ADVICE: (Watch out)

Some people come into your life for a minute, and hour, a month a year, or a lifetime...javascript:smilie('')
We never know which is gonna be which....Or who is gonna be who...Right?

Why don't we just get used to this??? It's just how it is...Isn't it? Have we EVER been able to control this???
Joined: 1/19/2008
Msg: 17
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he hasn't called, don't know what to do?
Posted: 3/8/2008 6:45:34 AM
What I`ve done is listened to everyones advice and family advice and fought like hell to not do the things that my mind tells me to do. That is stay away from the ex and not phone or communicate at all. I still hurt inside for her, but as you all say it`s up to the one who dumped you or broke up with you. It`s been 4 months since the breakup and I feel at times a little at ease with my situation.
So, what everyone has said about breakups is true ...... Time does heal the wounds of broken relationship.
Joined: 5/19/2006
Msg: 18
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he hasn't called, don't know what to do?
Posted: 3/8/2008 6:22:10 PM
Actually, it hurts just as much even if it's only a few months - even more perhaps because you haven't had that experience of trying to work through the incompatibilites and realising how significant they are.

You could call, but unless he is thinking you owe him an apology over something and waiting for that, then I think you know what you will hear. The first three months seem to be critical in a relationship though we are never warned about that. Did you see any signs of him breaking it off before the strained conversation or was that it?
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 20
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he hasn't called, don't know what to do?
Posted: 3/8/2008 11:08:15 PM
You said you know that the relationship is over and why it is over. You do not need to talk to him to have closure, you need to talk to him so you can find some way of reviving a dead relationship. You are apparently not suited to each other so the only closure you need is accepting that the relationship is over and deciding that you deserve more. Closure is a gift you give yourself unless twisting in the wind appeals to you.
Joined: 2/17/2008
Msg: 30
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he hasn't called, don't know what to do?
Posted: 3/9/2008 9:37:28 AM
I disagree with most of these reactions.

He called you a week later and talked as if nothing had happened.
You think you are wise by not mentioning it.
You both did the same thing, but you are seeing it only from your perspective.

You want to salvage your relationship, then you need to talk to him about what happened, how you got confused by his actions. Let him know that you want to continue your relationship, but only if he does. And if he doesn't, then you want him to tell you, so you can move on.
Joined: 1/5/2008
Msg: 31
he hasn't called, don't know what to do?
Posted: 3/9/2008 9:39:26 AM
hes maybe not thinking that, may be thinking, shes got the idea its over surely, how plain do i need to make it too her, we all need closure in cases like this but sometimes we dont get the kind we need or want, your better off to give it a day are too more and if nothing from him, chalk it up and move on
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 37
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he hasn't called, don't know what to do?
Posted: 3/9/2008 1:07:13 PM
Yes, if you can live with uncertainty and confusion (a very high state)...It can expand you, but you have to be very alert....

You have to learn to love yourself, and trust your feelings...

New relationships require lots of space around them....if you suffocate them with demands and expectations the fire burns out quickly like a flame deprived of oxygen....If you give them air the fire can grow to a steady flame...and if you're really lucky, a full on blaze.

Give him and you some air.

You were going down the road of co-dependency...You made him the focus of your life...Make YOU the focus of your life and him an added pleasure....NOT the reason for your happiness or unhappiness. This is NOT selfishness, it is enlightened self regard.

Enjoy yourself...enjoy him..enjoy your life..

Wherever you don't...learn your lessons...Co-dependency is a biggie for all of us...notions of the romantic hypnotize all of us...

but what is more real is your moment to moment now moments...

How much are you enjoying your life..How much are YOU celebrating YOU...

This is your learning curve and it is a beautiful one... Learn about it!

Joined: 1/26/2008
Msg: 40
he hasn't called, don't know what to do?
Posted: 3/10/2008 12:01:20 AM
Let him go while you still have the chance.
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