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Joined: 11/7/2005
Msg: 126
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what do cheaters feel?Page 6 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
I have never cheated so I can't answer the question about what cheaters feel, but many of us can relate to how it feels to be cheated on. I am sure it hurts equally as bad for men as it does women, depending on how in love everyone is. I was in a 14 year relationship with my soulmate (yes, I still think he was my soulmate), when our neighbour aka my best friend and him decided they would like to take their friendship to the next level. I didn't know about it until we split up but I did know he had to have been having an affair, although he denied it. A long story short...........they are now still together, her husband has killed himself over them.....ughhh.......and I am hanging on trying to see if there is such a thing as a second soulmate in a lifetime. Good Luck to you all.
Joined: 11/7/2005
Msg: 127
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what do cheaters feel?
Posted: 4/17/2006 1:40:45 PM
Have to agree with you Susan 100% your story is much like my own.......spineless......uh yeah, to say the least........
Joined: 11/7/2005
Msg: 128
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what do cheaters feel?
Posted: 4/17/2006 2:08:09 PM
Wow.............well said ......... "I'll drink to that"
Joined: 4/17/2006
Msg: 129
what do cheaters feel?
Posted: 4/17/2006 7:28:57 PM
Depends greatly on whatever social situation they're in:

For example, 'girlfriend' (and I use that term loosely at this point) before last was cheating on me with not one, but 3 guys. And after a while we all finally met or heard about each other through third parties. She basically used us for our skills. With me, it was getting her PC up and running, getting her stereo system setup, and getting her cable TV squared away. I was also the youngest of the three (we'll just say she was in her mid to late 30's), so I was also avaliable more nights to keep her bed warm, shall we say. Another guy was pretty much loaded with cash, so she was always bumming money from him. And finally the other kept her car running.

She was slick too. Ground rules around her house were to never show up uninvited. She wanted you to call before you stopped by. And she always had excuses that could never be proven or disproven (visiting her 'sick mother' in Baltimore).

If I did get one thing out of that, it taught me some of the ways that some older women will twist your thinking so that they can do whatever they want.
 ocean girl
Joined: 2/28/2006
Msg: 130
Re: what do cheaters feel?
Posted: 4/17/2006 8:30:35 PM
I don't think cheaters think about anyone but themselves. They leave a trail of broken hearts and pain. It is a form of complete and utter selfishness. and self-absortion. My husband cheated on me and continues to lie and cheat. Doesn't seem to bother him a bit. I guess it's time to move on but I am not sure how you can ever trust anyone again. I feel your pain, wish I had some good advice for both of us.
Joined: 2/24/2006
Msg: 131
Re: what do cheaters feel?
Posted: 4/17/2006 10:21:25 PM
I suspect they feel nothing, and are incapable of feeling anything other than what suits them, therefore the reason they are able to cheat in the 1st place.
Joined: 4/14/2006
Msg: 132
Re: what do cheaters feel?
Posted: 4/18/2006 11:11:02 AM
horrible, dirty...........pain, that is deserved
Joined: 4/12/2006
Msg: 133
Re: what do cheaters feel?
Posted: 4/18/2006 11:34:53 AM
well put!!! well said!!!
Joined: 4/16/2006
Msg: 134
what do cheaters feel?
Posted: 4/19/2006 10:01:40 AM
I have cheated, and for me to do so the relation I was in was dead. I felt no real remorse for that very reason.

What caused my relationship to die? Several factors.

I just wanted to be loved and cherished. When I was with someone that made me feel like shit, they were hateful and mean, for a LONG period of time, well, then it died. I tried to make things work, I am communicative, and will try to work together to make it happen, but my efforts were one sided. Hence, I wandered...
 time to share
Joined: 10/24/2005
Msg: 135
Re: what do cheaters feel?
Posted: 4/23/2006 9:42:25 AM
your looking for intamate enconters ! with just one guy or are you going to cheat on the frist guy you had relations with?explain you stand
Joined: 12/27/2005
Msg: 136
what do cheaters feel?
Posted: 6/2/2006 11:56:51 AM
Do they actually regret? Huh, what a joke. The only time they regret is when they get caught and even then, once the fire has burned down about it, their off and running again.

My ex cheated with my brothers wife. She had a child and I'll be d-amned, he looks, acts, walks, runs and craps like my ex. Do they admit that it's his child.....NO. It's a lie they will live with 'til the day they die.

I can't even IMAGINE living with such a lie. It must be hell. They both are trash in my eyes. Forever!!

Heck, their probably still beatin' it to this day. I have NO doubt.
 mr playful
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 137
Re: what do cheaters feel?
Posted: 6/2/2006 12:03:13 PM
who cares what they think? really or feel... I remeber one girl who cheated on me and got caught cause she gave me something... (all cured and a long time ago)... she felt the joys of being alone... soon afterwards... does she feel remorse... don't know, sad truth is that she probably does not understand what it is to love or be loved... and that is worse still.
Joined: 6/6/2006
Msg: 138
Re: what do cheaters feel?
Posted: 6/6/2006 10:28:42 AM
I know..because I cheated on my guy a few days ago..and as soon as it was over called and confessed and he's saying he still loves me and its so not true that people who cheat dont have feelings....I honestly never did anything like that b4...and it makes me sick that did it..and I DO love him...and I swear to god that if he takes me back I would never ever do it wasnt that I am not in love with him far from it in fact...and I feel so shitty and I will be lucky if he takes me back. I done nothin but cry and sleep for 3 days do cheaters feel? yes...some do..I do...and its crap to lump them all into one category..he didnt have any idea...and he said he woulda beleived me if I had lied...but what kind of person would I have been had I I was honest and called him and confessed....and now I'm sittin and prayin that we can work it out....
Joined: 5/21/2005
Msg: 139
Re: what do cheaters feel?
Posted: 6/6/2006 10:45:48 AM
I think you "hit the nail on the head" as they say.... That's why "once a cheater always a cheater", I guess.....
Joined: 5/21/2005
Msg: 140
Re: what do cheaters feel?
Posted: 6/7/2006 8:21:14 AM
You are so right there.... It is very hard to trust again... I don't know that I ever will no matter how great the guy might be.... I'm okay for the first 6 months.. and then the relationship goes under the microscope.... How do you get over that???
Joined: 11/15/2005
Msg: 141
Re: what do cheaters feel?
Posted: 6/8/2006 6:36:55 AM
nothing they're like serial killers
Joined: 6/12/2006
Msg: 142
Re: what do cheaters feel?
Posted: 6/12/2006 8:48:40 PM
Hey, jimi77!

The sad thing is people who cheat on their loved one's NEVER feel any amount of guilt or heartache when they have done the thing's they did to the one, they was with and i am w/you on that aswell.

If i had cheated/slept around on somebody i am with the gulit would crush me more than anything and all i could see/think about when i look at him would be the thought of what i did, and who i was slept with behind his back.

I do not see the point in somebody cheating or sleeping around on somebody because HONESTLY would any of us like it or have we liked it when we have been done the same way were doing, him/her?.
 Bobby Budds
Joined: 6/12/2006
Msg: 143
Re: what do cheaters feel?
Posted: 6/13/2006 12:09:51 AM

It would be nice to think that cheaters could feel remorse.....
But the sad truth is, I don't think they ever do cuz if so,
they wouldn't live the way they do.
I think their feelings don't extend past themselves,
they blame anything and everything (you wouldn't believe some of the shit I have heard) except themselves, before they do it....while they are doing it...and after they have done it...........WOULD LOVE any cheaters to prove me wrong on this one....would be nice to know some can feel so much remorse they don't ever do it again.....but right now, I say they don't ever feel bad cuz they figure it's always justified.

Couldn't agree more.
Joined: 5/4/2006
Msg: 144
Re: what do cheaters feel?
Posted: 6/13/2006 12:40:41 AM
People dont cheat if they are happy end of , im not saying it is right however but if they have explained why they arent happy for months on end and still got nowhere well ...... what you dont get in the front door you will get out the back door !!!!! who wants to be in a loveless n lonely relationship ..... NOONE
Joined: 6/12/2006
Msg: 145
Re: what do cheaters feel?
Posted: 6/13/2006 12:58:58 AM

You are right and i agree with you in this because if you'r lonely already while your in a realtionship than there is NOT much difference in being in a realtionship and still being lonely.

Joined: 6/8/2006
Msg: 146
what do cheaters feel?
Posted: 6/13/2006 10:16:53 AM
I won't lie, I was married for three years. I married my high school sweetheart. A year and a half before we got married he cheated on me with a married woman and he left home for thirty days. It tore me apart in every way you can think of. Even now that we've divorced and I'm moving on it makes it hard to trust anyone because that fear of it happening again from my next love is truly unbearable. Anyway, I tried to set my hurt feelings aside for the sake of our son and we tried to work it out and I thought the only way to feel better was to do the same to him. I don't need to go into details but needless to say, Two wrongs REALLY desn't make a right. And because of what not only he did but I as well, our marriage was really short. But I do have to agree. It hurts more to get cheated on than it does to cheat. No doubt about it!
Joined: 4/29/2006
Msg: 147
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what do cheaters feel?
Posted: 6/30/2006 12:07:02 PM
I don't think cheaters feel anything until they see just how much they really hurt the person that loves them sooooo much....then you'd have to be a heartless sob not to feel at least some sort of sorrow....guess there are people out there that are like that tho....those are the one's who have no soul.
Joined: 5/25/2006
Msg: 148
what do cheaters feel?
Posted: 6/30/2006 12:28:12 PM
It's not easy being easy, either.

I cheated three times. Twice *on* my guy, and once with someone's fiancee. Ugh. I can't tell you how ugly, horrible, terrible, *guilty*, *shameful*, remorseful I felt.

For myself, I went into counselling to get a better of idea of who the hell that b*tch in the mirror was. I discovered she was nothing more than a scared, insecure, self-destructive little girl who didn't feel she deserved to be loved or treated with respect.

Now, it's been over a decade since I've had anything to do with that ugly side of life and I'd never, never dream of doing that to myself again. Nor to anyone else. It's like any other heinous act you commit in your life. You go, "What the f*CK??" then you beat the crap out of yourself for a while, then, if you're remotely interested in growing, you look for the root of the problem, and you heal it. Then you move on. Oh, and I never 'got caught', but I did fess up.

Of course I'm not proud of what I did, but I'm proud to be the *woman* that I am today, and at the risk of incurring the typeset wrath of those of you who feel the need to judge, I have forgiven myself for my transgressions against the institutions of love, fidelity and loving sex, and applaude myself for putting down the magnifying glass and picking up the mirror.

I've been cheated on many times, both before and after committing my own love crimes, but that's not the point. The point is to walk with honour in every facet of your life regardless of the lemons you're thrown. Took alot of pain and abuse to reach that revelation, but nothing's going to pry it from my heart now. To date, I've turned down more offers to cheat than I could count. Like I said, I'd never put myself through that hell again.

It's important to remember that being cheated on has nothing to do with you, the betrayed, and everything to do with the one who strays.

Joined: 6/18/2006
Msg: 149
what do cheaters feel?
Posted: 6/30/2006 12:38:43 PM
They finally feel wanted. Cheaters usually have alot to prove to themselves. If they have alot of people vying for their affection, they now feel validated. Take a look at the people you know that cheat like friends or people at work. They are usually lacking some major things...either looks, personality, self worth, etc. If I ever thought about having more than one person, it was because I need to move on from the person I am with, period.
Joined: 6/30/2006
Msg: 150
what do cheaters feel?
Posted: 6/30/2006 7:13:27 PM
I'm really not certain how I feel. My now-ex of more than 10 years took the kids and left me over four months prior, while I was out of town on business. I was devastated. I have no idea if she cheated on me or not, she just made it perfectly clear we had grown apart and she wanted a divorce. So, I'm out of town on business (another trip) when she breaks the news to me she filed for divorce. I'll have the paperwork waiting for me when I get home.

Needing to blow off some steam I went to swim laps in the hotel pool. Got hit on by some recent college graduates including this one who quite frankly looked like a model. I went out with them to the local club later that night, where the good-looking one basically screwed me on the dance floor, whispering in my ear that she wanted to f#$% me, and took me down to the beach to go skinny-dipping after. I'm proud of myself for holding out that night, but I was simply too weak to say no the next night when she flirted with me at the pool again. I know there is no excuse here, but I'd spent a bit of the day fighting long distance again with my ex, and this girl was everything I physically wanted. Plus my coworker kept telling me I was insane for not getting together with her the night before. So I did it.

It was quite frankly the most incredible sex I have EVER had in my entire life. All those years of marriage must have done me some good, because this girl couldn't get enough (excellent for the ego). We were up all night long, and saw each other every night the rest of the trip. I got next to no sleep. I found her to be an incredible person as well out of bed (haven't had that much fun with someone in a while), but I think I should feel some remorse here. I don't, other than the fact I was technically still married at the time.

The funny thing is Jess and I are now friends, and possibly more. But trying to take it slower to see if there is something there besides passion. Living in separate cities makes that easier. So although it isn't justified, I really can't bring myself to feel sorry about it though I know I should.

I'm pretty certain I wouldn't have done it if my ex hadn't left though - I loved her.
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