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 SmartSassyBBWinLA
Joined: 5/6/2006
Msg: 4
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Ladies. What's more important? Profile Picture or Written Contents of Profile?Page 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
That is a great question!
I never post in the forums but this is an important topic.
Whoever said that men are visual and women arent so much...was wrong!!
The first thing I look for is a happy smiling face--someone whose eyes reflect the smile on their lips. Pics from far away--sunglasses-hats all detract from what I am looking for-the spark of personality that beckons me to say hello.

After the pic is glanced at--then the profile comes into play. Anything too sexual has me moving on--I want to hear words that express the persons passion--for life-for love-for their children-for the arts-. I would like to see a mention of what they are looking for in a woman--an age range--a body type--something that might let me know that I am their type.

I dont usually send a message to a man who hasnt messaged me first. I know that not all men will be attracted to my body type--I am only looking for ones who are. I suppose that my experience in marketing has made me more aware of how people present themselves online. We are the product that we are trying to promote. We should try and present ourselves with that in mind. Proudly putting out there what we perceive to be our best attributes.

As for the profile of I Love You.--The pic is nice and up close--great smile. My professional self would like to see it cropped without the ceiling in it. The wording is a little short and doesnt really capture me---though there is nothing negative about it all--I feel it just needs a little more fleshing out.

Ok...that is my 2 cents worth--thanks for listening. And guys please smile in your pics!!
The mean sullen looks are scary to us--and happy people are much more fun to be around. Sassy
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 5
Cassa Incognito. CassaIn. Mrs. Incognito.
Posted: 3/13/2008 3:56:44 PM
Personally, I am in love with Mr Incognito, although I suspect he probably has a few profiles out here. [What? In love with NO pictures? IMPOSSIBLE you say. So says he as well. Poor thing. That's why I love him so. ]

Women like "attractive" men. BUT---different women find different things attractive.

Attractive does NOT equal good looking, unless you are attracted only to good looking men. Some of the men I have found the MOST attractive were not at all good looking, but had superior minds. One of the best looking men I ever dated was one of the least attractive, after a while.
 tralaza
Joined: 2/10/2008
Msg: 6
Ladies. What's more important? Profile Picture or Written Contents of Profile?
Posted: 3/13/2008 4:43:09 PM
I always read the profiles as how would you know what they are about? If they have 10 lazy adult kids living at home and 6 ex wives, etc. etc.

If the photo, is bad I can fantasize about cutting the mullet off and throwing away those horrid nut hugger jeans and biker boots from the late 70s.
 Nova
Joined: 2/18/2005
Msg: 9
Ladies. What's more important? Profile Picture or Written Contents of Profile?
Posted: 3/13/2008 8:09:43 PM
Both sounds like the correct answer. And I assume most people consider both. But if a guy doesn’t have the looks that most women find attractive, from the perspective of that guy, it’s always going to appear that women only care about the looks.
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 10
Ladies. What's more important? Profile Picture or Written Contents of Profile?
Posted: 3/17/2008 1:18:49 PM
Pictures are *way* down the line for me. As a matter of fact, I'd rather not even see a picture till I've been corresponding for a while. The sense of sight is extraordinarily unreliable insofar as picking a mate goes. (The man in my life who most turned me on --big time-- visually, and to whom I was married for 12 years, was very difficult to live with, and ended the marriage with an affair.) I've learned (finally) to trust my soul and my brain to do the picking for me. Funny thing though: once the love is in place, the hormones/chemistry have this funny way of falling right in line. Ma Nature seems to know a thing or two about mating, lol!

The guy I'm with now is showing every sign of being THE love of my life (not the first, but likely the last). He had no picture. The profile was fine, but not extraordinary. . . . What did it was the first letter, and the following correspondence. I was already pretty much in love before I even saw his picture. I in no way regret having done it in this order. In fact, I thank my lucky stars that I did. . . .


 Yuckmowth
Joined: 7/16/2007
Msg: 11
Ladies. What's more important? Profile Picture or Written Contents of Profile?
Posted: 3/17/2008 1:30:57 PM
30 years old? You should know by now women are pretty smart. Women already know they can't believe anything the men write on here anyway. Looks are all she has to go on.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 12
Ladies. What's more important? Profile Picture or Written Contents of Profile?
Posted: 3/17/2008 1:40:36 PM
If she has the following as photos is an instant shot down:

Picture behind a dog, can't see her body
Beauty shot with a hair do from the 80's
Phone photos that are all pixalated and can't tell if she is smiling or crying
Group shots that make you question who is the girl, or is she hiding behind some cute girl
No photos at all

If she has the following lines on her profile is an instant shot down:

Must love dogs, (have a dog, I don't care, just don't say it in your profile)

My friends say I am beautiful, blah, blah, blah (all the superlatives that scream vain as he!!)

I am low maintenance (sure you're)

Players may not apply (She has been played plenty)

I want a man has a jog and knows what he wants (how many deadbeats have you dated before?)
 zangie
Joined: 5/30/2007
Msg: 14
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Ladies. What's more important? Profile Picture or Written Contents of Profile?
Posted: 3/17/2008 8:08:40 PM
Nice looking pix will draw me in..and attraction is important..but, I still maintain that most women have different ideas of what is attractive..and they are far less specific about it than men are? Something about the pic has to draw me in...and as another poster said..it's more what I don't like than I do? But...the profile is the real determiner of whether I'd contact or reply or not..assuming if they emailed first, it was a nice opening email...

That being said...I contact men without pix all the time...usually because their posts turn me on? ...so the written word can mean something too..if we meet in person and it doesn't click..it's ok..I can see a pic and still not click in person? Though everyone likes looking at attractive people, I've known lots of men who's personalities made them more attractive. And, I , personally..can be seduced by brains and humor...
 Dayzyflame
Joined: 12/28/2007
Msg: 15
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Ladies. What's more important? Profile Picture or Written Contents of Profile?
Posted: 3/17/2008 9:29:40 PM
I hate to admit this, but a picture is worth a thousand words. At first all I see is a small photo in amongst a lot of other small photos. I wade through those photos until I find one I like the look of. There is no profile information up until I have chosen to click on said photo. So at first it is a photo however, how often have you clicked on a photo that looked great one inch by one inch and then when you opened it realize this isn't what I thought this person would look like? I still read the profile regardless. So that is where I can then be captured by a mans wit and intelligence. If I am going to write to a guy its because what they wrote in their profile made me laugh or there is something I can comment on and make interesting conversation out of. I have never written to a man to say "damn your hot".

I do know basically what I am looking for. I am not attracted to bad boys, and therefore I don't even click on a man that appears to look like he has a bad boy's photo. I am not attracted to older men, so the same applies. However I have friends and we have surfed profiles together. The beautiful thing is that we women are all so different. I have a great looking friend that is attracted to older men. I have another girlfriend that is attracted to bay boys and I am attracted to clean cut boys. Isn't it wonderful that we all find different things attractive in you men!
 casandra67
Joined: 1/26/2008
Msg: 16
Ladies. What's more important? Profile Picture or Written Contents of Profile?
Posted: 3/18/2008 5:21:29 AM
OP arent you just adorable :-)
Havent read your profile.
 IMaPA
Joined: 2/2/2007
Msg: 17
Obviously....few women pay attention to profiles......
Posted: 3/18/2008 5:30:24 AM
Without a doubt, I have the best written profile on POF. I say that because I"ve literally had hundreds of people here tell me that. Some have even told me they cried. (I swear on my mother's life about this) But yet when I try to talk with them, I've even had some block me without even seeing my picture or responding to tell me why. I'm an attractive guy (so I'm told) and have a great job. I feel I have all the things to offer a woman could want. The truth is, I don't think most people here are seriously looking for a life long partner. There would be a lot fewer people here if they were.



 northeast25
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 18
Ladies. What's more important? Profile Picture or Written Contents of Profile?
Posted: 3/18/2008 8:56:56 AM
Women already know they can't believe anything the men write on here anyway. Looks are all she has to go on.


Some people aren't completely honest about their profile, but that can also applies to looks. Some people will use old, deceptive, or fake pictures.
 clasact
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 19
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Ladies. What's more important? Profile Picture or Written Contents of Profile?
Posted: 3/21/2008 12:07:47 PM
Everyone has their own definition to what type of outward appearance they are attracted. To me the man doesn't have to be a "Handsome Love God" for me to be attracted to. That being said, I DO have to be attracted to their physical appearance, whatever that might be. Then the written profile.

The pic will get me to look at the words. I don't mean I'm all about how someone "looks" this is not so. What is attractive to me isn't to someone else and vice-versa.

But on a dating site we are doing everything ass-backwards as compared to "real time life" in a SENSE. You don't actually "meet" the person first as you would out in everyday life. I don't even look at profiles that don't have a pic, period. And YES, I do care about what goes on inside of the mind, but it all has to work together, for me.
 zangie
Joined: 5/30/2007
Msg: 20
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Ladies. What's more important? Profile Picture or Written Contents of Profile?
Posted: 3/21/2008 1:34:22 PM
I don't understand why so many men, who are generally the much more visual of the genders, and most certainly have to like the pic to even contact you...get so annoyed if women do the same thing...

Something I think some miss: Yes, visual attraction is important...but, I think women are more likely to have way less stringent ideas about what is attractive..and our opinions of it, very vastly, where most men have the same basic idea of what is an attractive woman..witness how the vast majority of them are pursuing the same 5% or whatever it is of the "best looking" women...

Women need to be attracted, just like men..but, what they find attractive varies from woman to woman, and man to man...and most women I know, don't need the hottest men to be attracted. Most of us, don't even always agree amongst ourselves who's hot or who's not...even in the celebrity realm..for instance, guys are always mentioning brad pitt...I don't think he's that special..nice looking..but, that's the end of my reaction. When I see a guy I think is good looking, my internal response is...oh, he's nice looking..wonder what he' s like? I'm guessing that's true for many women. Men, on the other, hand, think...she's hot..I'd like to sleep with her?

And it is also true, that many women can become attracted over time to someone they didn't think was that hot to begin with...but, who's personality or behavior towards them makes them attractive?

I think the problem here isn't that women don't need to be attracted to men they'd like to date...it's that our definition of what attractive is, is based on different criteria than most men's definition...and , that personality counts big time to us..where as many men will put up with bad behavior if she is "hot"...JMO

Also...guys...the vast majority of men don't find me attractive..I'm not going around complaining about it...this isn't much different from the hottest women who may reject most men.because they can...it's just what it is...I focus on the ones that are attracted to me..and there are more than enough to keep me busy...I can't believe the same isn't true for average men...
 theforumfiend
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 21
Ladies. What's more important? Profile Picture or Written Contents of Profile?
Posted: 3/21/2008 1:44:35 PM
Hopefully the picture shows me a good smile and kind eyes - which are what I find most physically appealing about a man. Hopefully the profile shows me intellect, common sense and a sense of humor - which I find to be the most interesting and desirable traits when looking online. If I cannot respect the person as I get to know them, then it doesn't matter how good he looks I don't stay interested.
 judyarlinepuckett
Joined: 11/24/2006
Msg: 22
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Ladies. What's more important? Profile Picture or Written Contents of Profile?
Posted: 3/22/2008 4:55:41 PM
Pictures give a person a idea of who you are,not just in the obvious,as in attractive,
but things such as friendly eyes,and a confident smile.
They say a photograph is worth a thousand words,
the words are important too,
giving your thoughts and views.
Don't be shy about a picture,
it's not a contest.
it's just another way of giving
a person a insight to
you as a person,
and a potential friend...
 Change Of Pace
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 23
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Ladies. What's more important? Profile Picture or Written Contents of Profile?
Posted: 3/24/2008 12:17:52 AM

OK...from a mans point of view of how alot of women will answer this.....

Women will say its the written word that creates the possible initial connection,infact its a pic...

I personally have left a brief intro to some of the ladies in my area only to find that my msg was deleted before it was even looked at....So,what does that say twards the women i have sent a msg to....Either the ladies in their late 20's and up dont like my age or dont like what i look like...I know im no prince but i dont scare the paint off the fence and my profile i think is well written and comes from deep within.............Dont belive me,go see and tell me that its crap....

Let's see...the first thing on your description is your email address that says b**b lover...wow, that is a complete and total turn on for all the ladies Im' sure.

Followed by misspelled words...kind of rambling stuff about your perfect woman that might be considered a bit over the top and typically written by someone who would become too serious too fast.

Add to that no photos...sorry...I don't know as your profile is all that you think it is, from the perspective of a woman.

Back on topic--photos either immediately or within the first conversation on IM. If they aren't forthcoming it won't go any further. I read the profiles for stock information, but prefer conversations to get to know someone. To me the profiles can be as misleading as photos...
 Captain Incognito
Joined: 1/31/2008
Msg: 24
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Ladies. What's more important? Profile Picture or Written Contents of Profile?
Posted: 4/3/2008 3:31:33 PM
I think it depends on what you want. Do you want someone that is going to base their choice on looks alone? If you feel you don't have looks, then sometimes the profile is your only real chance to make that impression.

(BTW, I have no connection to "Mister" Incognito in the first page)
 purpl2lips
Joined: 3/1/2008
Msg: 25
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Ladies. What's more important? Profile Picture or Written Contents of Profile?
Posted: 4/5/2008 6:32:08 AM
It's not just the picture. It's what is in the face. The eyes, the smile. That is what I look at. If I don't see it there forget it. The profile does have some useful information, but you can write anything. It is more how it is written. Use humor....that wins a bright intelligent woman over. However, if you want your women stupid, be sure to use run on sentences, without punctuation, and for heaven sakes don't capitalize. It may make someone think you have an elementary education.
 Adam 4 Coffee
Joined: 5/31/2007
Msg: 26
Ladies. What's more important? Profile Picture or Written Contents of Profile?
Posted: 4/5/2008 6:35:28 PM
I honestly think I have bad pictues. i replaced one already. My previous pictures were taken witha 5 year old webcam. Sometime sI will write a woman a letter and she will jsut look at my pictures and delete my message without even reading it. so I see an unread deleted but when I go to my veiwed me list they clearly looked at my profile. And I think people without pictures in their profuiile are either hiding the fact that they ar unnatractive or too stupid to know how to upload a puicture. I tell these people to go get a friend or family member to take their pictures witha disposable and to have the pharmacy develop their picture on a CD instead of film. Only cots $3 rather than the $7 for prints.
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