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Joined: 7/6/2006
Msg: 84
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do men like to be approached first?Page 7 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
Some men are turned on by being approached and some are turned off. I have made the approach first in the past and found a mix of reactions from "ok who put you up to this" to very positave reactions and greatly appreciated. I think it all depends on the parties and the technique used. I must say the best results have been from making eye contact and a smile. Opening the door gently and sweetly seems to work far better than flinging it open and boldly walking in.
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 90
do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 4/21/2008 10:13:49 PM
Never approach a man first. The thrill of the hunt is what intrigues them the most. I even read a book on this very subject and the guy who wrote it polled 1000 random guys and not one of them said they ended up marrying or committing longterm to a woman that has approached them. Besides you're a cute girl why would you have to do the approaching? In this age of equality it is one of the last few things that a man is responsible for doing. If you see a guy you are interested in just give him a smile and a little eye contact so he knows you're interested and if he's interested he'll have no problem approaching you!
Joined: 12/12/2005
Msg: 94
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do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 4/22/2008 12:30:50 PM
I can only speak for me but I love it! I wish it happened more often!
Joined: 12/12/2005
Msg: 95
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do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 4/22/2008 12:31:21 PM
Damn good point!!
 pen city guy
Joined: 2/19/2008
Msg: 98
do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 4/26/2008 8:41:17 PM
spelling mistakes
Joined: 5/10/2007
Msg: 99
do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 4/30/2008 1:03:19 PM
I love it when a woman approaches me. It is a huge turn on to know a woman wants me.
Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 101
do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 5/2/2008 3:00:18 AM
First of all just because a women comes on to someone doesnt' make them confident. Sleazy and arrogant women also come onto men.

I don't know where when someone is so outgoing that's confidence.

Unless it's someone I'm dating, I dont like it.
Joined: 6/4/2005
Msg: 102
do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 5/2/2008 4:54:43 AM
Self-confidence is an attractive characteristic wherever you see it.

People who are timid and appear weak attract others who are timid and weak. People who love life are more likely to embrace life with gusto. They are usually sure of themselves and their approval comes from within so they do not depend of feeding on the approval of others.

They have high self-esteem. People who think well of themselves, without being arrogant or driven by over-inflated egos, just realistic, are the people who are able to give high esteem to others too.

Such persons are most likely to decide what what they want and move steadily step by step towards acquiring it. Those they encounter along the way will soon pick up the signals and know what the person wants, and may be willing to give it to them or at least respect them for being clear about what they are after.

The above remarks express my opinion, and that's all it is, I'm not claiming that there's eternal truth engraved in stone here. But I think it's true. And you may have noticed, if you have read this far, that there's something missing.

What's missing is gender references. That's intentional. It has nothing to do with whether a person is male or female. What's going on in a social interaction is between two human beings. Ideally they will regard each other as equal in rights and obligations. Equal in dignity. They respect each other.

Gender assumptions only get in the way of developing wholesome interpersonal relations. A man or woman who is secure and sure of himself or herself will approach another person with desire - not need! - and accept that others may or may not choose to respond by moving towards satisfaction of the approacher's desire.

So the header question is not really a good one. It might be better to trash the gender-specific element of it and go like this: Do people like it when others approach them to make contact, without waiting to be approached?

So what's then the answer to that? Here's mine. I would try to psych out the motivation of the approacher. If you're a telemarketer attempting to make a sale. or an Amway distributor looking to recruit downlines, my reaction will be - Go away. But if you're a friendly person open to accept as well as offer friendship, or even if you're just horny and after my body, the chances are that an honest desire honestly expressed by your words and your actions is going to get an honest response.

Sometimes it may be the response you were hoping for. Other times it won't. That's life. But there won't be any games - no coyness, no manipulation, no deceit. Neither of us will lie or try to trick the other.

The chances of getting what you want in life are highest when you know what you want and take steps toward getting there. And if you meet up with another person who is going in the same direction, you're on your way - you are both winners. What could be better than that?

So go ahead - approach the person you want to meet, regardless of their gender or your own, their age, ethnicity or anything else. Each person is an individual human being, not just a member of a class of people, and each is special in some way. Maybe you'll find they're special in YOUR way. Bingo!
Joined: 4/18/2007
Msg: 107
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do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 5/3/2008 7:45:24 PM
I love when women make the first move.I can never tell if a woman is just being friendly or she is interested.
Joined: 5/30/2007
Msg: 111
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do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 12/28/2008 7:11:20 PM
This topic was recently discussed in the "Ask A Guy" forum. Look at: "Do Guys Like Girls Who Ask Them Out" for some interesting responses.
 Sensitive P. Ness
Joined: 12/15/2008
Msg: 113
do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 12/28/2008 8:00:26 PM
Approach me baby.

I'm all for it!
Joined: 11/24/2007
Msg: 117
do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 12/29/2008 3:05:40 AM
I'd *never* reject a woman hitting on me. The very fact that she's that confident shows she has something going for her.

I'd be very interested to see what kind of advice you get on how to start a conversation.
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 118
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do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 12/29/2008 4:16:24 AM
this man is not a 'game' player, and likes to be approached first, its he21st century, time for women to be confident
Joined: 6/4/2005
Msg: 122
do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 12/29/2008 8:06:21 AM
By their willingness to approach a man without waiting for him to approach her first, women sort themselves out into two kinds.

There are those who are modern and self-confident and consider themselves the equals of males. They enjoy high self-esteem and are able to have desires and to express their desires and state what they want. They are strong and will not devastated by the rejection which is an inevitable part of real life.

Then there are, unfortunately, still some women who belong in the past. They think being female makes them prizes to be won in a contest, or as bait, or as prey to be hunted. They may even think they are princesses on pedestals.

There is no obligation for women to approach men first or for men to approach women first. Men and women are equals today and the Victorian-era attitudes went out with the buggy whip and the Stanley Steamer.

Today a woman who approaches a man she likes is likely to be the kind of woman worth knowing, because she perceives you as her equal, not a suitor who will win her like a carnival prize. And she is not going to settle into becoming your unpaid housemaid, or just a breeding sow for your brood. She is your equal. That is the kind of woman you want - unless you are one of the insecure males who feel threatened by her freedom.
Joined: 11/16/2008
Msg: 126
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do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 12/29/2008 12:07:39 PM
that makes sense diamondgirl,

On the other hand, why should a woman have to choose from just those men who approach her? Kind of limits the field.

When a woman approaches a guy its a relief, since the guy doesn't have to risk rejection. He's already been accepted.

On the other hand, its pretty impossible for a guy to say no when approached. So he can sort of be at the mercy of his relief and acceptance...and be unable to say no thank you and suffer the consequences down the line.

And, some of us guys are so shocked when we're approached we stammer out a no thank you. I've seen it with my own eyes.

Ideal, a lady should be free to make her interest known and the guy should be free to agree to talk about it or decline.
 laughing lover
Joined: 12/8/2008
Msg: 128
do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 12/29/2008 5:58:33 PM
I always find that that can indeed be a good thing, depending much on motive...whether hidden or straightforward.However people can be put off quite easily by this as sometimes it raises an air of suspicion.

That being said I will relate one of my own experiences.About 10 years ago I was standing at the bar of my favorite pub with my crew...and a strange woman I had never layed eyes on before began sending me over free drinks all night.This started around 8:00 pm in the evening and continued to closing time.

Now to make a long story short I became quite inebriated and woke up in bed with her at a motel that I didn't even remember checking into.We dated for that whole summer until she finally went back to a husband that she had been separated from.She was a beautiful spirit and a kind lady , but generally speaking I don't make habits of dating wemen that are still somewhat involved with exes.I do believe that this has the potential to lead to dangerous situations for all the people involved.....L.L.
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 136
do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 1/6/2009 3:10:07 PM
Of course we do.
Joined: 12/29/2007
Msg: 137
do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 1/6/2009 3:43:35 PM
Hey no shame this way if you like what you see give it a shot and approach besides whats the worst that he can say outside that he is taken by someone.
Joined: 12/31/2008
Msg: 139
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do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 1/6/2009 4:06:05 PM
I personally would love to be approached first. It would save me the time looking around to see who's with who and getting turned down for a dance or get this seat is taken even when there has been no one sitting there for hours. I am new to the area I'm in and do got out sometimes and do not know anyone. I'm also a shy type person and hate to get turned down. Yes, most surely approach me will not be sorry.
Joined: 6/4/2005
Msg: 142
do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 1/6/2009 6:21:31 PM

I have approached people, but they are not always interested... So I move on..
I am choosy about who I like, if I am not attracted to them, and I do not feel the necessary chemistry then it's a waste of time...

The person has to be different from everyone else, not one of the boring guys out there, he has to be appealing...

Interesting. Replace the word "guys" with a female term and that post would work equally well for either sex.
Joined: 6/4/2005
Msg: 148
do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 1/7/2009 6:33:05 PM
des anfel seems to assume that males call females - but i don't think there's any law that says females don't call males
 doink 1962
Joined: 1/5/2008
Msg: 149
do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 1/23/2009 7:51:28 PM
I know I do as long as the woman is not totaly out of her brain on drugs or booze, even then I can have fun and be polite. Trust me it does not happen enough as far as I am concerned.
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 160
do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 1/25/2009 2:44:01 PM
I get women approaching me all the time. I like it, sure.
Joined: 12/23/2007
Msg: 161
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do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 6/12/2009 1:02:08 AM
I met some of the best women in my life because they approached me. It sets a much more relaxed tone, it defies that 50's stereotype of the guy having to make the move and be the alpha male and blah blah blah.

It's nice. It sets for a lot more, too.
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 162
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do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 6/12/2009 1:24:41 AM
Well, I guess I get to be odd ball here....I flat don't like it. I don't like being put in the position to reject someone, and the fact that she just approaches makes her not my type. I go for a thinking woman with a little cunning and mystery about her. If she's a smart girl, she can set you up to approach her without you even knowing what happened. That's class in my opinion.....and I like class.
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