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 AUTHOR
 BerserkPoet
Joined: 11/21/2006
Msg: 64
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Raw and emotionally exposed, welcome to my world.Page 9 of 15    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
You're so beautiful but you'd never notice me
I sit and wait for you day by day
Just a word from your lips to my ears to a instant thought of romance
Love's fading dream as you dilly dally with your cellphone
Inside I die a lil each day
Drinking my strong aromic coffee as the stains pour out from my cigarettes
I strive to find some kinda crazy saying in hopes to get a laugh from you
You still gesture with your phone
Must be thinking I'm some sort of oddball for gazing upon your femininity
I'd love to just walk up to you say hi
That would be all too easy for me I suppose so I smoke another one and hide my pride
Pride falsely used as I wake up alone another momment of failure
If you could see my heart you would know I'm true
What's a poor fella left to do
 livelovelaugh
Joined: 9/21/2005
Msg: 72
Raw and emotionally exposed....Dear Diary thoughts
Posted: 6/25/2008 9:24:43 PM
Colour leaches slowly from my skin
Joy drains aching from my heart
As memories linger,waver, fade
They attempt to pull apart
The prison on my reality
Walls seeping with responsibility
Cold, dull, black, stark
A memory pops...a freed balloon drifting in the dark
Uproarious laughter, shy timid grin
Coarse sand gritty, wet toes
Sun on my body warm. Sin
Real LIFE. Bills to pay, problems pending
Day by day existing
Shoulders sag, knees bending.
Memories of stolen kisses,
holding hands under spying stars
Bright,warm, clear
Drowning in moonlight
Ecstasy creeps so near.
I need, give me ,can you?
Demands rain daily down on broken spirit
Shoulders straighten, backbone stiff
Clouded mind. Try to clear it
Pop..more memories come
Dancing, grind, sway , slow
Friends,family new to my heart
I cannot let them go
Life was made for living
Laughter,warmth,love. It should
Contain,overflow,surround us
Melt the numbness from our soul
 Just_Serendipity
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 73
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Raw and emotionally exposed....Dear Diary thoughts
Posted: 6/26/2008 6:42:03 AM
Perfection

Today I wondered along the shore
The wind blew loud and furiously
I watched as waves crashed with a roar
And a seagull spied me curiously

Then looking down towards my feet
I found a stone rounded to perfection
So smoothly refined and sleekly neat
And it came to me upon reflection

That this perfection of cold stone grey
Was made so by the onslaught of sea
Tossed, battered and chipped away
Till it’s edges were worn and scar free

And so much like life now I can see
Beaten and blown this way and that
But will perfection ever come to me
Will my life ever be smooth and pat

Will the rough edges ever wear down?
So that only peace will exist for I
Love and joy and without a frown
Will my life be perfect… before I die

But the past sh*t clings clawing
Eating away at any smoothness
Like an algae rotting and destroying
A leach infested abscess
 Just_Serendipity
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 75
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Raw and emotionally exposed....Dear Diary thoughts
Posted: 6/27/2008 11:11:35 AM

Lovin the writes. Especially the last paragraph Serendipity


Thank you Visual. funnily enough I was sad when I wrote the first 5 paragraphs and added the last when I was angry, perhaps I should write more in this frame of mind


Circumstances stand in the way
Losing the will to fight
Spiraling them down into nothingness



Insecurities and fear
Grabs a hold and doesnt let go
Tears have caused many floods
Broke the dam
Confusion
Delusion
Illusions
A fire consumes your brain


Having to take my ex through the courts on 4 different counts I can sometimes well associate with your words. My only consolation is that I won the first battle, almost certain to win the second and now I have a good man beside me to help me win the war.
 Chimchiminee
Joined: 6/20/2008
Msg: 76
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Raw and emotionally exposed, welcome to my world.
Posted: 6/29/2008 12:03:27 AM
Wow~~Thats a lot of insightful self-discovery!! I'm sure that..by itself has taken a lot of work~~to get this far~~Just remember that~~Be gentle with yourself~Think and reflect on things...like "You've come a long way, baby." -Not meant as a flirt~
But really~take it easy on yourself~Heaven knows the world doesn't~~We're very battered and beaten up in this world...whether we want to admit it,or not~
And actually, you're a lot better off~~If WE admit it! ~Pretending, or being strong~Does us no good..in the end ... So, kudos to you for being real!!
If you ever get the desire to have your life be different~~Than seek Jesus~
~Most beaitiful Entity you'll ever come to know~He'll never turn His back on you~When He's not around~It's because we've chosen to walk away~~Jesus loves You/Me /Us ~Dearly~And He is ~P~A~S~S~I~O~N~A~T~E~ about His concern for our lives~~If we only....Accept Him into our heart as Lord & Saviour~Asking forgiveness of our mistakes~~And be willing~ daily to submit our life choices~over to His care~with honest prayer~(in order for our lifes to be truly changed...
~~ it must be done~~According to..... HIS WILL FOR OUR LIVES: Not our own~~ Trusting that He (after we have repeatedly tried our own way time and time again) ~~Knows what is the very best anecdote for our lives~when we read the Bible~We can learn... How our Creator ~~Sees perspectives~~On a totally different level~So, that ~~Faith is not a Logical way of thinking~~It doesn't make human sense... And I have to say that sometimes when we are so BURNT by Life~(been there)~We may be closer to His way of thinking than we imagine~~Bible says ~He is not far from any of us...Read John 3:16~powerful stuff~~That God could Love us individually and specifically~~Each and every one of Us ~No matter Our sin~Sent His Son to go through all that pain and humiliation~I don't think I have ever met a human being~~even the ones ~~that have been so dear ~~that could ever do such an unmistakable act of kindness~~I mean~~Like I Love and Cherish my children~
~ no matter what they can do or say to me( and I've survived~~~One teenager..Thus far..
~I told my youngest one tonight~~That the sun rose and set on her...She said what...I explained that there was nothing she could ever do..so that there would even be the possibility...that I would stop loving her, or her brother and sisters... But even with all that LOVE I have for them that is sooo precious...as each of us have... for our own children.... It could never mount up to be enough where I would have the strength, courage, resilliency, and so on ...to do something..like ..die on a cross for them...Even though I might want to really bad...and If I was given the choice..okay what If I was given an ultimatem......I then could NOT CONQUER DEATH ITSELF TO SUBSTANTIATE my Love...for them...as endearing as it may be... human...weakness lacks much....
~~ So, It is awesome that we have somebody on our sides that is sooo powerful~~
...And what a waste ..If we never let him in...... How sad for us....
~ Jesus died and conquered death for sinners ..me/you..all of us.... Just so we could have Eternal Life...Some.....sweet day..
Not an easy task~But a worthy one~Aren't we worth it.~~Jesus, the Son of God thinks so!.I don't mean monetary worth, or having the most successful carreer worth..the best house..car...jewlry...whatever....But all these things will fade away..Solomon, in the Bible was one of the richest men in recorded history and yet..his writings reflect his lack of fulfilment...
~~But, talking from experience; It is the most freeing kind of life~you'll ever have the pleasure of knowing~~Romans1:16 For I am not ashamed of the Gospel.for it is the POWER OF GOD FOR SALVATION to EVERYONE WHO BELIEVES, to the Jew first and also to the Greek. ~
When the Bible uses the analogy~~the Jew and the Greek~It's' just referring to ....
being all inclusive... so, It's what you believe.And what we do with it...
~~I'm sure there are so many people out there that would benefit from...someone like you...someone that can truly... relate to their pain.....
~We are exactly where we are for a purpose...Sending you God's tender..loving mercies..but do you want it....
~He also gave us the freedom to choose HIm,or turn and walk away....
 Chimchiminee
Joined: 6/20/2008
Msg: 77
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History
Raw and emotionally exposed, welcome to my world.
Posted: 6/29/2008 12:05:17 AM
Wow~~Thats a lot of insightful self-discovery!! I'm sure that..by itself has taken a lot of work~~to get this far~~Just remember that~~Be gentle with yourself~Think and reflect on things...like "You've come a long way, baby." -Not meant as a flirt~
But really~take it easy on yourself~Heaven knows the world doesn't~~We're very battered and beaten up in this world...whether we want to admit it,or not~
And actually, you're a lot better off~~If WE admit it! ~Pretending, or being strong~Does us no good..in the end ... So, kudos to you for being real!!
If you ever get the desire to have your life be different~~Than seek Jesus~
~Most beaitiful Entity you'll ever come to know~He'll never turn His back on you~When He's not around~It's because we've chosen to walk away~~Jesus loves You/Me /Us ~Dearly~And He is ~P~A~S~S~I~O~N~A~T~E~ about His concern for our lives~~If we only....Accept Him into our heart as Lord & Saviour~Asking forgiveness of our mistakes~~And be willing~ daily to submit our life choices~over to His care~with honest prayer~(in order for our lifes to be truly changed...
~~ it must be done~~According to..... HIS WILL FOR OUR LIVES: Not our own~~ Trusting that He (after we have repeatedly tried our own way time and time again) ~~Knows what is the very best anecdote for our lives~when we read the Bible~We can learn... How our Creator ~~Sees perspectives~~On a totally different level~So, that ~~Faith is not a Logical way of thinking~~It doesn't make human sense... And I have to say that sometimes when we are so BURNT by Life~(been there)~We may be closer to His way of thinking than we imagine~~Bible says ~He is not far from any of us...Read John 3:16~powerful stuff~~That God could Love us individually and specifically~~Each and every one of Us ~No matter Our sin~Sent His Son to go through all that pain and humiliation~I don't think I have ever met a human being~~even the ones ~~that have been so dear ~~that could ever do such an unmistakable act of kindness~~I mean~~Like I Love and Cherish my children~
~ no matter what they can do or say to me( and I've survived~~~One teenager..Thus far..
~I told my youngest one tonight~~That the sun rose and set on her...She said what...I explained that there was nothing she could ever do..so that there would even be the possibility...that I would stop loving her, or her brother and sisters... But even with all that LOVE I have for them that is sooo precious...as each of us have... for our own children.... It could never mount up to be enough where I would have the strength, courage, resilliency, and so on ...to do something..like ..die on a cross for them...Even though I might want to really bad...and If I was given the choice..okay what If I was given an ultimatem......I then could NOT CONQUER DEATH ITSELF TO SUBSTANTIATE my Love...for them...as endearing as it may be... human...weakness lacks much....
~~ So, It is awesome that we have somebody on our sides that is sooo powerful~~
...And what a waste ..If we never let him in...... How sad for us....
~ Jesus died and conquered death for sinners ..me/you..all of us.... Just so we could have Eternal Life...Some.....sweet day..
Not an easy task~But a worthy one~Aren't we worth it.~~Jesus, the Son of God thinks so!.I don't mean monetary worth, or having the most successful carreer worth..the best house..car...jewlry...whatever....But all these things will fade away..Solomon, in the Bible was one of the richest men in recorded history and yet..his writings reflect his lack of fulfilment...
~~But, talking from experience; It is the most freeing kind of life~you'll ever have the pleasure of knowing~~Romans1:16 For I am not ashamed of the Gospel.for it is the POWER OF GOD FOR SALVATION to EVERYONE WHO BELIEVES, to the Jew first and also to the Greek. ~
When the Bible uses the analogy~~the Jew and the Greek~It's' just referring to ....
being all inclusive... so, It's what you believe.And what we do with it...
~~I'm sure there are so many people out there that would benefit from...someone like you...someone that can truly... relate to their pain.....
~We are exactly where we are for a purpose...Sending you God's tender..loving mercies..but do you want it....
~He also gave us the freedom to choose HIm,or turn and walk away....
 transcend
Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 80
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History
Raw and emotionally exposed, welcome to my world.
Posted: 7/3/2008 7:26:35 AM
All anyone can ask is that
when we make the choice thats best in the long run
to live long enough to see it all happen
thats worth living as long as possible
to piss on the dead faces of those
that did us wrong..
(at least get the chance to take a dump on their graves)
 transcend
Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 81
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History
Raw and emotionally exposed, welcome to my world.
Posted: 7/3/2008 4:37:32 PM
no prob lunar, I was just touring the forums and usually i avoid the single parent forums.. all that talk about how much it cost to get custody of your kids and all the legal battles .. im glad that stuff has drifted into the past and I'm real glad that I might not be the first person questioned if my ex disappears.. gives me time i just might need

jes kidding of course.. (ain't nobody recording this..is there?)
 transcend
Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 89
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History
Raw and emotionally exposed, welcome to my world.
Posted: 7/13/2008 7:28:40 PM
hard to be able to definitively say why circumstances seem to favor some,
while pushing sh1t up the nostrils of others
i realize that part of it is poor planning and lousy execution
bad choices made worse by the duct tape of stupid fixes
where we start and how we are raised if not jerked up and around
like a belt to the legs , some get it ..some get to watch
some never get a damn thing but feel the pain of the loss
as long as they breathe
 transcend
Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 91
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History
Raw and emotionally exposed, welcome to my world.
Posted: 7/17/2008 10:46:04 PM
I wonder sometimes if the thoughts
i have given time to , have taken on lives
that exceed my original intent
sh1t can get out of hand
and CSI is there for a reason
why can't the devils in our head
understand ?
it isnt real til its all too
then there's that prison sh1t
i don't think i want to be subject or predicate
of that sentence
that one that contains rape
or murder or even severe beating
healing is hard enough
without metal toilets
and plastic spoons
 Shayma
Joined: 7/7/2008
Msg: 95
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Raw and emotionally exposed, welcome to my world.
Posted: 8/1/2008 4:55:55 AM
raw ...emotionally exposed....i like

Never done this before. Be gentle

dear diary

Sat with rage today….rage that broke
not mine……it could have been,
but that was another time and place
I sensed it ....early in the telling
pain...lips tremble....broken control...then gone...
unexpected .....forked lightning
across a cloudless sky
in a brutal face
a face for his world....survival kit.
Pause……avoided nerve revisited….and the
mask turned nimbus…..glowering….
a flash of hate in eyes….his familiar friend
pricked me for intruding.
A storm was coming.
Slowly…. the rumble of distant truth
a thunder…..buried deep…..deep
so deep…needing to be dead….but alive
corrosive….only bearable and almost forgotten
in the fix…. venous hiss……..intimate
and back to the womb.
He knew I knew….locked eyes held and held
defiant….scanning…… for treachery,
and finding none…..risked his soul…
and broke ……broke with eyes that
now unseeing turned inward back…
back.
I listened,
still…. so still, to the spilling,
cold ….robotic…..expressionless
the telling of another’s story
but it wasn’t……. it was his
became his…… rising into
the vent of hate and rage
I ……imagine …….and shudder…
comprehend …how…I cant ...but can

In silence following….. his quiet…
a soothing silence…he is heard and spent
and somewhere between the journey
back
from there to here
he has the face of a child….. and tears
for the first time….just a few…….since childhood
so do I…just a few
…….tears instead of rage!

I have been moved by a lot of what I have read from you all on this thread …Thank you

Love Shay
 mthuckleberry
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 96
Raw and emotionally exposed, welcome to my world.
Posted: 8/3/2008 8:52:08 PM
There's a crack in everything,
I've heard somewhere around
That's how the light
a way in is found.
So as a heart breaks
and flood gates open wide
the light of truth
finds its way inside
Immersing your soul
with sadness and knowing
but preparing you for a new day
when healed and glowing
Only then will love will find
a new abode
In an open ready heart
to which so much has been showed.
So, embrace the pain
and let todays tears flow
Living in the moment
births a lighter tomorrow.
 transcend
Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 97
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History
Raw and emotionally exposed, welcome to my world.
Posted: 8/3/2008 11:46:27 PM
what a gift clarity seems, knowing why can be expensive
understanding is always cheaper than a head in the sand
lets see ..head in sand ..just what part of me am i offering to others?
uh oh
 BerserkPoet
Joined: 11/21/2006
Msg: 102
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History
Raw and emotionally exposed, welcome to my world.
Posted: 8/15/2008 8:01:23 PM
Smile for a second or two
Don't let the rest of the world's problems destroy what's deep down inside of you
When you smile don't you feel loved by atleast yourself
Does the rest of this retarded world even matter like cobwebs upon a shelf
Relax it'll work out in the end if you stay true
Love yourself is all that matters deep inside of you

writing that from the very lair of my wounded heart. Almost took my life tonight. Why? I have no real idea except i'm emotionally drained by the world. So Kim if you ever feel down there's always someone out there worse. Even worse than me I know but it's too hard to realise it. Anyway writing that poem made me feel a lil better thanks for listening.
 alotmarc1
Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 115
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History
Raw and emotionally exposed, welcome to my world.
Posted: 9/16/2008 5:46:00 AM
Finally some real inspiration....Hope you dont mind....

pain yea I know there is a need
joy wouldnt feel so good without it
but fck man does it have to make me bleed
think this time it got the jugular
cant stop this shyt from spillin from me
gota find someone to use as a plug
maybe even take up a new drug
get outa this rut and flee
else I take it out on everybody else
I can see my pissed off self
is gona fckin ruin everything around me
got me on go! ready to snap
lookin for a chance to get rid of this crap
Im eatin at my own fckin character
cant see lettin this shyt have
this much control over me
I refuse not to find a way
even if that means I havta
bounce someone's innocent head off the floor
yea I declare war
so if you see me
best find a door
cause my pain fixin to make it rain
 iceaxe
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 117
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History
Raw and emotionally exposed, welcome to my world.
Posted: 9/16/2008 12:28:23 PM
somehow the screensavers don't cut it
rainbows and waterfalls and such
almost like looking out a window
but in the end not so much
give me a mountain to climb
let me get sweaty and bleed
here I can bide my time
between those excursions I need
yes it lives and breathes and feels
this thing called the world wide web
and you can wheel and deal
from the comfort of your bed
but be wary of having it suffice
for a window on the world
a flag can't flutter in the wind
until it gets unfurled
 BerserkPoet
Joined: 11/21/2006
Msg: 118
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History
Raw and emotionally exposed, welcome to my world.
Posted: 9/22/2008 3:38:17 AM
Shadows raven black eyes staring at me
All around me voices telling me to be myself
Each cold stare leaving me bitterer as I realise I am nothing
Waiting holding onto a day I can shine
Lost within the cobwebs of eternal devastaion within my soul
Black beady eyes waitin for me to make a comment while I slip into paranoia that I am weak
Finally Clairvoyance steps in but the eyes are gone
Leaving me empty thoughtless abandoned upon my own home
Not knowing who to trust with my problems
A bottle of Seroquel to thrust my burning desire and leaving me lame
I want more of of my f.ucking life as I once again fall into paranoia
Never to be myself today tommorow and only the god's know when I will shine
 livelovelaugh
Joined: 9/21/2005
Msg: 121
Raw and emotionally exposed, welcome to my world.
Posted: 10/13/2008 1:47:46 PM
Your Heart

For all the years I've known you
I've never known your heart
Not matter what we weathered
You kept it far apart

I opened up my life ,my soul
You knew my darkest sin
But never could you open up
Oh God ,what could have been

We talked about so many things
About where our lives were bound
Yet every thing you said to me
The words were twisted 'round

You gave to me your strength and calm
But couldn't give your trust
Yet for a chance of tomorrows
This last one is a must

And so I must say goodbye my love
But wish before we part
That one day you will trust someone
And let them know your heart
 BerserkPoet
Joined: 11/21/2006
Msg: 127
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History
Raw and emotionally exposed, welcome to my world.
Posted: 2/28/2009 12:42:27 AM
You have any idea where this place has gone without you visual. And what the f.uck? no parade no naked midgets jumping out of cake? Gotta fix that hold up....

best i can do work with it ;)

First things first i done clapped one kid tonight
Now this mother f.ucker wants to flap his jaw at the stoplight
Yo I'm a ryda I don't give a f.uck who you know b.itch
I'm Full clip so i pulled him out his window

I'm down with being one of your cawk nuggets from birth to the grave just do visit more often it's lonely in the dark
 hummingbirddancing
Joined: 6/27/2009
Msg: 129
Raw and emotionally exposed, welcome to my world.
Posted: 1/29/2010 12:36:24 PM
dang, where did you go? and what is this on this thread??? lmao ????

Fire , Fire
girls a wire
ends exposed
take her higher!

Burnt edges
untamed hedges
catcha ride
she's a live wire~!







 .word.on.the.street.iz.
Joined: 3/13/2010
Msg: 132
Raw and emotionally exposed, welcome to my world.
Posted: 3/21/2010 8:29:40 PM
good to see you back around these parts,again, Viz....started writing on this the other day....i'm not sure that it's finished...you're neck of the woods is as perfecked a spot as any to leave it, I'd say.......really, though, s'good to see your face (well...half of it at least)


Romance is dead.
and we all want change
for a dollar
I'll show you a counterfeit

we looked everywhere for the elusive ideal image that we had painted inside our heads..
we did not search...we looked, instead
at this distance


that was perfect...and yet uncomfortable enough to make us always want a little more

Who was that woman, truly, on isle 4?

What WOULD we trade for this "something" that doesn't exist?

a lifetime
the experience
and the other things that we didn't miss
 hummingbirddancing
Joined: 6/27/2009
Msg: 133
Raw and emotionally exposed, welcome to my world.
Posted: 3/21/2010 9:16:43 PM

These spiritual window-shoppers,
who idly ask, 'How much is that?' Oh, I'm just looking.
They handle a hundred items and put them down,
shadows with no capital.

What is spent is love and two eyes wet with weeping.
But these walk into a shop,
and their whole lives pass suddenly in that moment,
in that shop.

Where did you go? "Nowhere."
What did you have to eat? "Nothing much."

Even if you don't know what you want,
buy _something,_ to be part of the exchanging flow.

Start a huge, foolish project,
like Noah.

It makes absolutely no difference
what people think of you.
[


Rumi
 hashcannon
Joined: 2/11/2007
Msg: 136
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History
Raw and emotionally exposed, welcome to my world.
Posted: 4/1/2010 5:00:43 PM
ahh a nicely spiced easter bunny stew
hossenfeffer peppers fried and tossed for two
hold still little bunny I've got plans for you
a spanish delight Cuenca 'Morteruelo'
or a freshly braised tomato paella BBQ
ahh yes Mr. Bunny, you'd be quite yummy
suddenly surprised alone there on the trail
Your petite cottontail, scampers to no avail
easter sunday breakfast or maybe brunch
come over here Bunny we can "do" lunch


Hash
 knightwhosaysnih
Joined: 4/2/2009
Msg: 137
Raw and emotionally exposed, welcome to my world.
Posted: 4/2/2010 9:34:58 AM
Not so very long ago
There was a fire in my computer
Fuelled by human emotion
For months it blazed
But not to worry
Everything’s under control now
The danger has passed
 lenag
Joined: 9/30/2010
Msg: 140
Raw and emotionally exposed, welcome to my world.
Posted: 12/26/2010 7:23:30 AM
There is a haunted look in his eyes. Is it his past catching up to him? Some long ago wound that hasn't healed, the loss of a great love, lonliness, or fear? I am drawn into his gaze. Filled with a desire to find out. I long to hold him until hope appears. Give him my body, my heart, and ultimately my soul! I can't look away. There is something familiar there, a story yet told. Maybe in time he will tell me his tale, and cast his eyes upon me.
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