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 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 77
Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?Page 3 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
LOL Gotta ask.
Who? Should? ???? SHOULD?????? There is a right or wrong answer to this?
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 78
Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 5/29/2016 7:12:00 PM
JWRed- Either person can, and should, initiate.
Sometimes, both women and men fall into the old fashioned trap that the man should initiate.
This puts a LOT of pressure on men, while denying a woman's ability and right to be sexual.
Ideally, you will find yourself in a situation where both people want each other so much, it doesn't matter who initiates, you just both go all in when it does. (no pun intended)
This kind of passion and wanting is rare, but it happens and thank baby Jesus when it does!
 Inner_Gorilla
Joined: 12/3/2015
Msg: 79
Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 5/30/2016 6:37:53 AM
Here's another problem. A lot of times WOMEN want to initiate but then they look at themselves feel too fat, too, this, too that and that nobody in earth is going to want them. So when they are with their SO, they close down. Many times the man picks up on this and may then start to initiate but he also is dealing with the many times that she has said. Not now, I am not in the mood. Or, I feel dirty, you need to take a shower.

Therapist while in the past used to suggest to start working on your own body image or issues first, now they get more results by solving the initiation issue first. They find that whatever the issue is, if they work on the sex first, all the other issues work themselves with higher success.
 GWSmith
Joined: 12/18/2008
Msg: 80
Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 8/13/2016 6:56:31 PM
The answer is YES. Who should initiate? Whomever wants to! If its mutual keep on truckin' but don't be Brock Turner.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 81
the one who kisses better. best to put the best foot forward
Posted: 8/14/2016 6:15:03 AM
"..and alternate Tuesdays"

>>>oh, we had a discussion about "Tuesday girls" before. If I remember correctly, women like the reference. I think i'll rely on a gerbil--if the little rodent jumps on the wheel and tries to run away from a Tuesday date, that's the sign I shouldn't pay the restaurant bill. or something like that.
 GWSmith
Joined: 12/18/2008
Msg: 82
the one who kisses better. best to put the best foot forward
Posted: 8/14/2016 1:54:52 PM
WhereforeAndWhyNot has a good dog.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 83
mm, she smells like snausages
Posted: 8/14/2016 4:59:12 PM
it might be a mixed breed, a bulldog and a Shitzu. you know, a bullshitzu :)

then again, if it sits on the couch all day licking itself before trying to lick her face...maybe he's better off with the ladies the dog doesn't try to kiss.
 oneday57
Joined: 10/17/2015
Msg: 84
Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 9/16/2016 3:52:48 AM
Nice when both have the same idea and in most cases its known chemistry and definite feelings....I have initiated it tho and only when I know she's open to it....always a gentleman!
 InnerGorilla2
Joined: 8/1/2016
Msg: 85
Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 9/16/2016 7:27:19 AM


If he tries to lick her face first, then it’s my job to lean in. If he looks at me with that “I need to go outside” whimper, then I know I’d better wait for the woman to jump my bones. If he just farts and lays down in the corner, it's time to turn on the TV and break out the beer.


Can I just hire your dog and do a book tour, maybe even do a few late night shows and talk about that dog'gone wisdom?
 JS3344
Joined: 2/12/2013
Msg: 86
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Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 9/16/2016 2:42:46 PM
The man needs to initiate....most women can't even decide what to do at a four way intersection. I never go on a date and "hope" there will be a kiss....I kiss her nice, the moment we meet, if the date goes well, some kissing goodnight, if we are on fire, well then some french kissing.
 JS3344
Joined: 2/12/2013
Msg: 87
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Who shoud initiate insults? The man or woman?
Posted: 9/17/2016 4:15:16 PM
^^^^ that shit is between you and me.........this is important, if every guy waited for a woman to initiate, the history of mankind could be at stake.
 InnerGorilla2
Joined: 8/1/2016
Msg: 88
Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 9/19/2016 10:09:57 AM

The man needs to initiate....most women can't even decide what to do at a four way intersection. I never go on a date and "hope" there will be a kiss....I kiss her nice, the moment we meet, if the date goes well, some kissing goodnight, if we are on fire, well then some french kissing.


This is an interesting balance act, even when you're in a established relationship.
If you are too pushy initiating, and that is starting with the kiss, and then the petting, and so forth, she may get annoyed at how aggressive the guy is. If you do nothing, she may bet annoyed about how passive you are and missed your chance. Many guys that end up being friend-zoned by the woman had their chance but because of lack of balls, or willing to take that chance, they lost their window of opportunity. Then there's a place that the man is bold enough to initiate, but then he pulls back and sees if the women reciprocates and has interest. I used to preferred this way. That way she really, really ALSO wanted you. And she showed that she also had interest.

Once the relationship is establish, you both need to develop nor verbal signals. I could initiate all the time, and want it all the time, but she may not be in the mood. So I pet her a little and generate gestures. If she is non-responsive or tells me that she is tired, I pull back, no harm done. Sometimes she wants it, but wants me to come across as the initiator. Simple, non-verbal works quite well. If I am too tired but she still wants it, she ups the gestures another notch. At that point most of the times, I respond.
 JS3344
Joined: 2/12/2013
Msg: 89
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Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 9/19/2016 4:07:07 PM

If you are too pushy initiating, and that is starting with the kiss, and then the petting, and so forth, she may get annoyed at how aggressive the guy is. If you do nothing, she may bet annoyed about how passive you are and missed your chance. Many guys that end up being friend-zoned by the woman had their chance but because of lack of balls, or willing to take that chance, they lost their window of opportunity.

- correct.....don't think I'm such an idiot that I just stick my tongue down her throat upon meeting. I am aggressive, but in a funny way....like when we meet, women like to hug, so I usually say "hey, bring it over here", no one has ever refused or been offended.......while I'm hugging her, I'm actually measuring breast data. Never french on the pre-date kiss, keep it light. She needs to know I'm aggressive right away, and the friend zone won't be tolerated. I only allow the friend zone if I get something out of it, like I do with dancing partners......
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 90
Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 9/19/2016 4:36:50 PM
meanwhile, this month's issue of men's fitness is quoting a Journal of Personality and Social Psychology that women love sex, we just accept their "not now" turn down as "not ever". So we should just keep pushing at a later date. Then there's another article on moving in with her, and one of the tricks is to learn, when you come home, don't go off alone to decompress, but bond with her. I suspect the truth lies in the middle--sex begins in her brain.

generally speaking, of course. :)
 JS3344
Joined: 2/12/2013
Msg: 91
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Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 9/19/2016 4:52:50 PM

women love sex, we just accept their "not now" turn down as "not ever". So we should just keep pushing at a later date.
- sort of. First of all, guys who "ask" for sex on the first date are idiots and ruin it for everyone else, the woman now expects all guys are thinking that......when, if you get into some kind of relationship with her, you're gonna get some tenfold, so why screw it up.
If my date is nervous and gets around to the subject (I would never bring it up) I always say the same thing, and I mean it........"sex is something two people decide to do together.........so is bowling" that usually puts things in perspective. The last girl I was with, on date two we had a heavy makeout sesh for hours, but agreed to not get naked, That was fine, we were still having lots of fun. On date three, at dinner out of nowhere she blurted out "we are not having sex tonight!" . Cool and calm, I said thats fine, lets just have fun, whatever we do....(knowing I had just passed the shit test!). Back at her place, after 5 minutes of making out, she leads me to her room........
 InnerGorilla2
Joined: 8/1/2016
Msg: 92
Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 9/19/2016 9:24:43 PM

- correct.....don't think I'm such an idiot


JS, I quote you not because I think you're an idiot, but because I think you got it. You can be a gentleman, and aggressive.

You can, as you did, call the woman's bluff. She is in your place, had a bottle of wine with you, before she came to your place she put special panties meant to be seen, meant to be touched and at some point taken off. But her radar is also on for what type of guy you are. Again, you go into the attack and you may end up eating your steak alone. You pull back and show her that it takes two to tango, she is either going to think, what is wrong with me. Or go after what she really wanted, and that is your bones.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 93
Who should initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 9/20/2016 6:36:32 AM
I probably should have added in, "this is a sign she controls when sex happens", and we could have heard the woman's side :) But yes, its good to be the odd fellow who isn't pushing for sex. Generally speaking, it reveals you could get it somewhere, its not the biggest deal for you, and you might actually be looking deeper for more than a shag. And if a woman is mentioning sex, by definition...its on her mind for some reason. Maybe b/c she wants it, or maybe b/c she doesn't want to be bugged about it. Its like the other classic phrase, "you're so evil!". Freak out over her ST about not having sex, and you reveal you're only there for that. Be the man who wants more, and you're the one in a million.
 PopCultureGeek
Joined: 11/27/2016
Msg: 94
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Who should initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 12/1/2016 11:28:31 PM
the man, not because i feel it is the mans job, role, but because most women stubbornly refuse to do it themselves.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 95
Who should initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 12/2/2016 8:07:24 AM
sometimes, the woman will initiate only by invading our space or otherwise showing an interest. Letting us know the pathway is open, but we still have to lean in and do the physical connecting. Maybe they don't want to look easy.
 SnuggleByU
Joined: 10/21/2016
Msg: 96
Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 12/2/2016 3:57:16 PM
Call me old fashioned but the man should like the good old days!
 PopCultureGeek
Joined: 11/27/2016
Msg: 97
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Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 12/2/2016 11:54:05 PM
never understood the logic behind it, why is it masculine, manly, when a guy goes for what he wants or goes after what he wants? why is taking initiative a masculine trait?
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 98
Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 12/3/2016 2:55:06 AM
b/c when a woman speaks up for herself, she gets labeled pushy or b1tchy or hard to get along with :)
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 99
Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 12/3/2016 4:08:17 AM
^ ^ ^ ^ Yes GTO, You summed this up very well!
 Dan6308
Joined: 10/23/2013
Msg: 100
Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 12/3/2016 12:15:46 PM

JWRed:

Guys. Let's get this woman up to speed.


She is up to speed.

We don't always want sex up front.

I can go out for weeks not wanting sex, but having a great time as the relationship develops.
 Dan6308
Joined: 10/23/2013
Msg: 101
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