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 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 177
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Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?Page 7 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

OP, you are among those on here that spoil it for those of us here who are looking for a serious relationship!
may you get every STD around, rot and go to the place dirty old men go.

OP is one who believes a woman should make the first move on a kiss. I hardly believe such a guy is the poster child of guys banging gals indiscriminately. :)

This clearly isn't Canadian law. Consent can be communicated in a variety of different ways - verbally is but one.

Yeah, but I think his point was, was that you're walking on shaky ground of interpretation if you don't get something as direct as a Yes. Although I don't wholeheartedly believe his statement, it is something to put in perspective when going out & dating a lot and doing the take-gal-home-you-just-met-at-bar often. You'll run into some who are emotionally confused and feeling potentially guilty and want a defense to their own actions, which you don't learn about until the next day or so. Having a solid Yes would clear things up, although it certainly can be a mood ruiner to stop everything to do so, when one thing's leading to another.
 U21984
Joined: 2/17/2017
Msg: 178
Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 7/16/2017 1:49:44 PM
LORDY!

As I have told you folks, do NOT take advice from any of these Online Lotharios! lol

If you can't FEEL when a girl wants to kiss you then keep your lips firmly planted on BERNIE SANDERS AZZ....where they have been! haha


This place is NOTHING but losers – not counting me and a few other guys, of course!
They have the WORST advice. hahahah
It is an assemblage of the HUGEST LOSERS in all the Internet.
Everyone knows it- Google =POF FORUMS= People have known about this place for 10 years and running! LOL
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 179
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Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 7/16/2017 2:08:23 PM

I don't remember you, but I'm sure you'll fit RIGHT in here! haha

I've been around since '06 - in some capacity or another.

But... you don't remember ME?

*weeps openly*
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 180
Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 7/16/2017 2:40:05 PM


Can't decide on PIG yet although I will tell him that FABIO just called. Even HE said -you should quit trying to steal his look!


Actually, I have his approval. He looked in the mirror, and it went something like this..

Mirror, mirror, I've hit the wall.
The mighty always eventually fall.
The torch must be passed, it seems.
It shall go to ThePigOfYourDreams.


Booya.
 sandwater
Joined: 4/2/2017
Msg: 181
Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 7/16/2017 6:43:05 PM
Either person can. In my relationships, both people did.
 Inicia
Joined: 4/12/2015
Msg: 182
Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 7/17/2017 8:05:43 AM
Many men have asked me if kiss was appropriate, many have not, many it was just a mutual understanding of movements and intentions, many times when i have had affection that could grow to something more i have kissed or offered a cheek instead of lips, and sometimes when i knew it would be great avoided the whole thing. or stated up front no kiss. no one can know another's thoughts or ideas or intentions it is an orchestra or dance choosing the composition, conduction and choreoagrapher each prefers if the music is discordanent probably not an experience worth having. just saying,

i have no idea why some who hate all the music on these boards and consider it such low level even bring their sorry ugly asses on here, except to spew hate!!! NOOOO? offering nothing....
 U21984
Joined: 2/17/2017
Msg: 183
Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 7/17/2017 9:04:51 AM
=except to spew hate!!!=

Yes, that is why they come.

But, while I'm on this assignment, I can post again and make this forum--wait for it---Great Again! haha
PS Unlike America, pretty confident- it was NEVER great.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 184
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Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 7/17/2017 1:09:41 PM

Either person can. In my relationships, both people did.

I haven't ran into too many situations where the gal makes the first kiss on me -- but has happened (usually thanks to that extra drink). I'd say about 1 out of 20 times or so (5%). However, in many situations where it's obvious that boy & girl are rolling with mutual attraction, it doesn't really matter. The gal will many times position herself to have an Open For Business sign lit up asking for one by her body language. It's no more of a "tough shot" than shooting fish out of a barrel.

That said, to be fair, it is still too common where the date's seemingly going well -- nothing spectacular but it's just a 1st or 2nd date -- where the gal's body language & position isn't so Open For Business (but not explicitly Closed either). That's when the guy shouldn't get too worked up over it. If it was a lengthy 1st date being capped off, or a 2nd date at all -- he should see going in for a kiss as an Answer... not having a mindset that it'd screw anything up. It wouldn't, as her interest already was (unknowingly) Not there if she would be put off by you going for a kiss in those situations. At least ya got an answer, which is what should be the focal point in those first-couple-dates situations.

Many men have asked me if kiss was appropriate, many have not

It's tough to Ask -- but sometimes it can be a cute setup & timing to ask in a certain way. One shouldn't expect that as the norm, tho...

many it was just a mutual understanding of movements and intentions

I think that's the "usual" when it's a long-running date and it went well... It's more like a dance leading into it where no one move was all that bold. Just one thing in body language led to another.

many times when i have had affection that could grow to something more i have kissed or offered a cheek instead of lips

This is why a guy Should go for "the kiss" and not be terribly shy about it (nor all that aggressive either, of course). Sometimes he may catch the gal on a non-ideal evening to have a date, which not only aids in it being merely a "borderline" decision on him, but also not so in-mood for a kiss -- he backs off... only to find out, not doing so tilted it away from giving it enough spark to keep the ball rolling for an honest shot, instead of "Not feeling it". He doesn't have anything to lose -- but some guys fear confrontational denial. Of course, as you point out, the gal should be aware of this and it's on Her if she turns her face to only get a cheek-kiss (a friendly denial).
 Inicia
Joined: 4/12/2015
Msg: 185
Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 7/18/2017 7:32:57 AM
guy galsa girls boys , are you a boy??? ok boy do not misinterpret the body language of a women who does not do business with her body!! That girl, boy, any one taking that stance is either a pimp or whore, always have had a closed for business sign, pleasure or enjoyment curiousity, sharing etc fine,,. Do not come at me as one of the guys, seeking something, that will some how fit into your entourage of guys, and be a gal pale -a lighter shade of grey/ pail a bucket to carry tools, equipment supplies etc.... a women with gall does not head such an absurd call.
 Fikirimi
Joined: 7/21/2017
Msg: 186
Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 8/10/2017 3:20:34 PM
Mascali, I never initiate the FIRST kiss, because I'm already bold enough to make plenty of moves once I'm sure of a man's interest. I hear men saying all the time they'd like it if a woman makes the first move, but in my experience that is a fairy tale that never happens. They get all threatened and want to be the one who chases. If he doesn't have the confidence to lead and go for it at the beginning, then our relationship is doomed before it starts.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 187
Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 8/10/2017 3:44:33 PM
Aaaaaaaand we're back to gender roles.

In the age of equality.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 188
Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 8/10/2017 4:34:30 PM

..................but in my experience that is a fairy tale that never happens. They get all threatened and want to be the one who chases.


Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 4/27/2016 1027 AM
LOL Kissed my man on his lips, approx 30 sec after laying my eyes on him for the first time.
(This thread, written by me)


LOL I don't believe in fairy tails but I sure do love that fluffy tail on the big pink bunny!
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 189
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Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 8/10/2017 6:29:04 PM

I never initiate the FIRST kiss, because I'm already bold enough to make plenty of moves once I'm sure of a man's interest

Which are? That's the key.

I hear men saying all the time they'd like it if a woman makes the first move, but in my experience that is a fairy tale that never happens.

Well, in your experience, you certainly have control over it. It's not a fairy tale. You're just not wanting to do it. :)

They get all threatened and want to be the one who chases.

A kiss isn't about a chase, tho. I mean, someone playing Games can turn giving a kiss into a chase -- but (lol) that's not where chases apply. Chases apply to chasing someone to try and get a #, to get a date, to get another date, etc. -- to garner their interest. Guys do not want to be the one who chases on Every move -- no. In fact, if almost all guys want to be the chasER as you state, then you wouldn't "hear men saying all the time they'd like it if a woman makes the first move", as you also stated.

If he doesn't have the confidence to lead and go for it at the beginning, then our relationship is doomed before it starts.

I agree that he should have confidence to make a wise move -- but how wise it is hinges on the 1st quote I made by you -- you being "bold" enough to make plenty of moves too. Heck, one doesn't have to be That bold, but you can't expect a guy to be reading blind -- because, what This gal said above ya...

ok boy do not misinterpret the body language of a women who does not do business with her body!!

.... because women are not entirely universal at all on body language, when you're scanning the dating scene landing dates. There are many gals (and guys) who think they're projecting one thing based on their own internal feelings, but they're not. :) That's why a speech class instructor can have the easy job of having You grade Yourself, when making it mandatory to videotape your speech in front of the class. Why? Because how you think you come across isn't going to be the same as you visualized (and a class like that helps you understand how you do, to make necessary corrections).

Anyway, I agree a guy can't sit there waiting on a gal to make all the moves. Heck no. And I do think a guy should take some calculated risks on a small level, where doing it a # of times, will get an uptight gal (like the one from my last quote) going "Oooh No sir!", but a much larger # of gals will be interested.

That said, it takes two to tango. A guy "leading the dance" with a gal, so to speak -- but the gal cannot be like a blow-up doll in the dance where he's doing everything. She has to move as well. And, initiating A move on the floor by herself should be encouraged -- as that doesn't mean she's leading the whole thing at all, either.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 190
Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 8/11/2017 6:43:44 AM
"I hear men saying all the time they'd like it if a woman makes the first move, but in my experience that is a fairy tale that never happens."

>>>thinking about it, I remember a past lover inviting me to visit her home state (she had flown to visit me in mine) for a car show. Before I got on the plane, she mentioned she was dating someone new, just so I wouldn't be confused. So I fly out, and the first night she asks for a backrub, which turned into a scalp massage, but I went no further b/c I believed what she said. when we went to bed in separate rooms, she hugged me, said she was glad I came out, and kissed me...on the cheek.

perhaps that was all her making a move, and I just went along with the words she had told me before I flew out there. I think back to the ladies I've given back rubs to, and wonder how many of those scenarios could have gone beyond platonic and I just didn't pick up on it :)

I suspect, tho, when we are hot for someone, we aren't so much making first moves or sending signals, as we are...just...hungry to touch them and have them touch us. there really isn't a conscious thought process, just an unconscious reaction of "hey, we want that!"
 PopCultureGeek
Joined: 11/27/2016
Msg: 191
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Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 8/14/2017 11:35:50 AM
it still typically falls on the mans shoulders, just like how men are still expected to make the first move as in approach the woman first or start a conversation with a woman first, ask for the number first, ask her out first, etc.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 192
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Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 8/14/2017 12:30:41 PM

I remember a past lover inviting me to visit her home state (she had flown to visit me in mine) for a car show. Before I got on the plane, she mentioned she was dating someone new, just so I wouldn't be confused.

Yeah, but she was a past lover inviting you to fly out to see her. It doesn't take away from that. Do you think the new guy she was dating would be k00l with "Yeah, I invited my ex lover to fly in to see me... there's a car show."? Of course not. Now, her saying that does mean something -- it sets a tone. But it doesn't Necessarily mean options are totally out the window, is my point.

the first night she asks for a backrub, which turned into a scalp massage, but I went no further b/c I believed what she said.

Doh! (slapping forehead)

perhaps that was all her making a move, and I just went along with the words she had told me before I flew out there.

Yeah. She was opening the door, but you didn't bite. Again, she was a past lover inviting you out. There's still possibly an option -- and she laid it out on the table to at least see what was up. An ex-lover inviting you out, asking for a back rub on the first night -- you could have altered the tone of your stay by following through and rolling with it. I think her saying what she said initially was to try and void herself of guilt. But when the rubber meats the road -- it's not quite the same. Doesn't mean you would have had a sex-fest, although that's certainly possible -- but to fool around a little was more likely, at least.

I think back to the ladies I've given back rubs to, and wonder how many of those scenarios could have gone beyond platonic and I just didn't pick up on it :)

I think we've all had a moment or two (or three) where we go "Wait, I had an opportunity to up the ante, and I didn't! Ugh!" -- but you should certainly, more often than not, up that ante more when in those scenarios. Especially with an ex lover! :)

You don't have to go from 0 - 60 in One Move. Especially with a back-rub, that they asked for, you get to Literally Feel your way thru things... and if they were on-the-fence to fool around some, you can get their juices flowing to make one side of that fence seem nice. You don't have to lunge in with anything bold, but just roll down the field and see what happens -- with little to no weight on any "shoot down".
 Manofsubstance1970
Joined: 7/8/2017
Msg: 193
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Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 8/14/2017 2:57:19 PM

Aaaaaaaand we're back to gender roles.
In the age of equality.


Nah women in the west are privileged and it's not equality at all.
Men still have to jump through hoops and watch out for the fake rape culture these days, because we could end up in court, if we made a move on a woman and she changes her mind in the morning, so it's a lose, lose situation for white masculine men in modern society.

If a man is a mangina, then he might get sympathy sex, but not respect at all from a woman or true attraction.

Feminism has ruined relations between men and women, created self entitled princess syndrome and covers up irresponsible women's choice's.

Women need to get away from this toxic feminism and embrace their natural femininity again, because men are going MGTOW.


 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 194
Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 8/15/2017 6:12:57 PM
Norwegie, I can't say your appraisal is wrong (never talked to her about it) :) I am used to women who just want to be friends (even after I asked them out), sent mixed signals, complained about guys who took things too far, etc. Meanwhile I was looking for the right moment, and not risking the wrong one. And I make the mistake of listening to what women say..and my mom taught me to be a gentleman..and...and...

:)

Pity the lady didn't just refuse to say, "I have someone right now, just so we're clear about what's going to happen when you fly out here", I would have flown out and had sex on her terms. But that's why they call it getting lucky. Sometimes, a guy like me guesses right, and sometimes, reads too much into it and guesses wrong. Unfortunately, its the poor communication that can lead sometimes to bad places.
 Inicia
Joined: 4/12/2015
Msg: 195
Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 8/16/2017 7:47:56 AM
These same problems of no win situations go for BOTH men and women! Anything and often little things or sometimes big things in throughout a relationship or beginning of a relationship can signal a demise of said relationship, . And by the amount of single mothers out there i would dare say the GYOW philosophy has been around for a long time in western civilization.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 196
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Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 8/16/2017 10:14:17 AM

I am used to women who just want to be friends (even after I asked them out), sent mixed signals, complained about guys who took things too far, etc.

Well, her being a past lover (even if short lived), expecting you to fly out to meet her 1-on-1 -- then wanting a back-rub, means something. They can't complain about guys taking it too far if you roll with the backrub and up the ante by 1 chip at a time, considering all that.

Meanwhile I was looking for the right moment, and not risking the wrong one.

How is her asking for a backrub not a right moment to feel the waters?? :) Making a move doesn't = making a 40 yard pass down-field. In fact, with someone you know, you run the ball or make short passes to move the chains.

I make the mistake of listening to what women say..and my mom taught me to be a gentleman..and...and...

I think that's the problem. But the fear of rejection sometimes grows too much, where someone asking for a backrub -- who you've slept with before and invited you to fly down to hang -- still exists not to do it, because you so much want to Be in the friend-zone, where the concept itself becomes fearful... and you want to justify it with being a "proper" person. Even if giving a backrub, and having the hands roam in a tasty but tastful manner is still being one -- you still fear her sensing that and backing away. "No, I lost my chance!" you may fear in it. Well, that Was your chance. You can't expect her to instead the next night say "I'd ask for a backrub, but, can you just fvck me?" Your emotions are only going to feel OK when there's not a chance -- but an Order by she. :) (Which, by the way, wouldn't be what mom would want you to execute on, but you would; this is all really about fear of rejection)

Sometimes, a guy like me guesses right, and sometimes, reads too much into it and guesses wrong. Unfortunately, its the poor communication that can lead sometimes to bad places.

Yeah, but, you had the green light for a backrub. You didn't even do that. You had the green light to do it in your own way, and in no way shape or form is there no flirting allowed if she wants to sit down and you to give her a backrub, a gal you've slept with before -- disclaimer that she's newly seeing someone or not. You wouldn't be breaking any rules or being rude by doing so as Requested, and exploring your options. Doesn't mean you still couldn't get brushed away in letting the hands roam in a non-forceful way. So there's no guessing games on whether it's kosher or not -- it is, in that case. What you're fearing is the timing not being right, she seeing you're exploring your options with a Like toward her, and her brushing you off -- and ruining any "moment" that could arise. But you have to look at it instead like "What if she Does like it in-that-way and is exploring her options mentally about it? We slept together before, she invited me to fly out here, she's now asking for a backrub..." You instead are just looking for a fictional "perfect" scenario which rarely presents itself, even when the woman Does like the guy in that way. In your scenario, it took no "balls" to "make a move" that was asked for, and to run with it, but your fears saw it in another lens.

And by the amount of single mothers out there i would dare say the GYOW philosophy [playing someone] has been around for a long time in western civilization.

There being a large amount of single mothers doesn't imply a large amount of women being played by guys, if that's what you were implying.
 Inicia
Joined: 4/12/2015
Msg: 197
Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 8/16/2017 11:12:34 AM

Women need to get away from this toxic feminism and embrace their natural femininity again, because men are going MGTOW.



And by the amount of single mothers out there i would dare say the GYOW philosophy [playing someone] has been around for a long time in western civilization.



There being a large amount of single mothers doesn't imply a large amount of women being played by guys, if that's what you were implying.

try to read everyone's post then you might understand why things are being said. Is the MGTOW just a sourgrapes movement most of the post i have read on it seems to try to negate that mindset. It is not a man and women issue. all people https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KPeHHpXOOds. Yet when i see something called toxic that is similar to the civil rights movement i do have to wonder what quality of femininity they are looking to find. As feminism has nothing to do with abjuring femininity. it actually embraces and supports all things feminine. Like the Book our bodies ourselves, tons more do not have the desire to research it presently, that is one that comes easily to mind.
 Inicia
Joined: 4/12/2015
Msg: 198
Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 8/16/2017 4:19:32 PM
^^Correction of words placed in my quote with a personal spin. not my spin

And by the amount of single mothers out there i would dare say the GYOW philosophy has been around for a long time in western civilization.


this is my post never said the go your own way was playing someone.
 Manofsubstance1970
Joined: 7/8/2017
Msg: 199
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Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 8/16/2017 5:25:47 PM

feminism has nothing to do with abjuring femininity.

Feminism wants to turn women into men and men into women, so very few feminist women, understand natural femininity, because they are taught to oppress it and live like men do, so feminism is indeed toxic in society and I could show you the factual evidence.

Unfortunately feminists don't take any notice of facts and follow a very rigid code? Hate all white male masculine men, blame them for everything and tell all women they are oppressors.

Feminists are privileged, haters of white male men and their only agenda is to remove white male masculine men from western society, so I don't need a feminist lecturing me on the feminist lies they have been taught.

Feminism have created a divide between men and women, but also the reason for Men's right groups and MGTOW, because men's issues are not addressed or cared about at all by modern society and it's all about privileged women in modern western society.

Feminism creates lies, creates double standards in favour of women, mangina men and tries to play god with men's natural instincts to be masculine, but the smart men will never conform to feminism ever
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 200
Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 8/16/2017 6:26:36 PM
boy, you'd think a woman asking a fellow to give her a backrub means something! But I get a lot of women who want me to be just a friend. I've had married women come up to me at a wedding saying they had permission from their husbands to dance with me. I had a coworker hook me up with his exgf, she slept over but I couldn't even get a kiss, and the next weekend she comes to sleep over with sex toys (edible body paint, panties, etc) and still couldn't get to first base, while her friends are telling me she's interested in me...and oh, that's she's weird, too. I'm still acquainted with the coworker, he's the one who was at work while his wife and I were watching sex scenes in American Gods (and for sure, I know she's not interested).

anyway, in hindsight, I am pretty sure I flubbed--and it was 14+ years ago, a lot of water went under that bridge. I've had female friends tell me about the guy who "took things too far", and I don't want to be that guy, but...well, its a grey area. Its a gamble, a risk to take. I did screw up on the scalp massage, however, I didn't factor in what humidity did to her hair after all that movement :) all I had to do that weekend was pretend to reach over, and I got side-eye.

anyway, yes, fear of looking like the person we don't wish to be seen or considered as, does prevent people from all sorts of opportunities. Tonight I had two friends mention something they wished to get rid of, and I didn't push to get it at my convenience, but i'll wait until they do it at their's. And i'll admit, one of my problems in initiation, I want to be accepted for who I am, not have to pull tricks or catch the person at a weak moment or some other such thing. but you can't sell an Eskimo an air conditioner, in winter, they want a heater. But if you wait until summer....you may get lucky.

but then we get into the post about aggressive ladies.
 Inicia
Joined: 4/12/2015
Msg: 201
Who shoud initiate kissing/sex? The man or woman?
Posted: 8/17/2017 6:45:18 AM
^^ It sounds like you have a ton of "weird" I would call them confused not weird associates both in your personal and private life. It might be that boundaries are something to work on for yourself? I know in the past situations have made me go HMM? and I did them despite my personal confusion or discomfort~ results outcome were always bad-and that is an understatement. Respecting personal boundaries creates respect from others! When I have had the confidence, self esteem, maturity,and strength to honor my boundaries~ you know what? a good positive experience.

Well here here assertion to having your desires and needs met. Often women are called aggressive for assertive behavior! stuck in the past but as everything- societal roles are changing- despite ner-do-wells and nay sayers!! I do pity them it is a crazy scary time- gripping fervently to the stones of sinking stereotypes pulls one down into a watery grave in the everchanging, flowing waters of progression.

I have said in other forums and i will say again the generations up and coming Many~ not all ~ have replaced the old fight of human differences with a human struggle to join as a collective whole and fix the earth! double standards and stereotypes may still arise but much less hostile and offensive or defensive. usually just observational. Often supporting diversity adaptation, a collective whole fixing the world their predecessors are leaving for them. The struggles of the up and coming generations is huge. The earth rotates on if you can't adapt or help the supplanting generation you leave nothing and have made nothing of substance- only a slight stink of your presence will remain as you rot and your ideas fade as a black mark on history.

Bella Hooks "the will To change" is an excellent book. Regardless of ignorance-The feminist movement is as the civil rights movement, not toxic-necessary. Yet many people are still stuck in prejudice, bigotry, Christian Dominant Patriarchy, and fear the changes slowly being adopted and adaptations to a changing society. Growth and learning are a must! OMG yes a huge struggle for people still stuck in the penny loafer mentality!!! Bet Men in private clubs all over the world share upscale penny loafer shops and stories. too funny
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