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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > The infamous "NICE GUY" rant      Home login  
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 slimguy1952
Joined: 7/23/2006
Msg: 101
The infamous NICE GUY rantPage 5 of 38    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38)
etownboy. I read your comments again and I see your point. We all have our own opinions . I guess the point to this forum is for everyone to have a chance to express them.
 Etownboy79
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 102
view profile
History
The infamous NICE GUY rant
Posted: 9/2/2006 5:19:15 PM
Geez etownboy79 ,lighten up !


Don't make me come over there and show you how "lightened up" I can be lol.
 ds7202
Joined: 4/16/2011
Msg: 103
The infamous NICE GUY rant
Posted: 7/16/2011 12:04:05 AM
Heh, I actually agree with the OP.

I've been there myself, only once though. And (yes, it's common to hear this) it wasn't exactly my fault. The relationship started out very very well, and we were both very affectionate. However, when we left our original college and went to two separate ones, she started acting strange and distant, which caused insecurity on my part. She was suddenly too busy to Skype, or when we did spend time together it was always with the company of other people- hardly ever just us two. The result of the ensuing insecurity was the whole "nice guy" thing.

At one point though, I realized how I was acting, and I tried to get back to being more assertive. However, it was too little too late; I think she had gotten used to my constant ass-kissing, and when I went back to being assertive and less insecure she just got angry and thought I was an ***hole. I dunno.

What i've learned- and I really wish I had known this from the start- is that if, for any reason, you start to feel insecure about the relationship, you have to get the **** out! Sticking around, thinking things will change, will only waste time and leave you emotionally and mentally drained.

At the start of the relationship I had no doubts about how she felt about me, and even if she was less affectionate I still wouldn't have had any doubts. The instant I started doubting her though is when insecurity kicked in. YOU SHOULD NEVER BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WHERE YOU DOUBT THE OTHER PERSON'S FEELINGS. In my opinion that's what love is: you can just feel it and you don't need any sort of reassurance other than that feeling.

I wish most "nice guys" would take this to heart!

To quote Emperor Palpatine, "Young fool. Only now, at the end, do you understand."
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 104
The infamous NICE GUY rant
Posted: 7/17/2011 12:38:57 AM
Maybe they need a Nice Guys Anonymous.
Hi My name is Tyler - I am a NICE guy
*Hi Tyler - we are here to support you
The 12 steps
1 We admitted we were powerless over Niceness—that our lives had become unmanageable and weak.
2 Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to douchebaggery.
3 Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the baseness of sex, drugs, unemployment, violence, apathy and broken relationships as we understand that is what a woman wants.
4 Made ourselves into a banal, shallow stereotype, that women will no longer abhore.
5 Admitted to ourselves, and to no-other human being is the gift to women that we are.
6 Were entirely ready to create all these defects of character.
7 Fully encouraged and exploited stereotype shortcomings - we are the new BAD BOY.
8 Made a list of all persons we have wanted to bang, and became willing to make conquests to nail them all.
9 Made direct demands wherever possible, to injure, offend, cajoule or violate them or others.
10 Avoid and deny any personal responsibility and when we were wrong, it must because you were not listening properly.
11 Sought the player and medication to improve our party weekends,
12 Having awakened as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to all nice guys everywhere, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

oh wait, wasnt that what Fight Club was all about - b*tch slapping the politically correct namby pamby whimp @ss milquetoast out of your head ?
You are not a Unique and Beautiful Snowflake !

Now, when do we get to blow up buildings ?
 PittsburghVixen
Joined: 6/27/2009
Msg: 105
The infamous NICE GUY rant
Posted: 7/17/2011 1:01:18 PM

oh wait, wasnt that what Fight Club was all about - b*tch slapping the politically correct namby pamby whimp @ss milquetoast out of your head ?
You are not a Unique and Beautiful Snowflake !

Now, when do we get to blow up buildings ?


 -metal4life-
Joined: 7/17/2011
Msg: 106
The infamous NICE GUY rant
Posted: 7/26/2011 7:09:42 PM
I have an idea, let's exterminate all the inferior, insecure nice guys and fat chics just like Hitler, that way the world would be a better place for the perfect women and alpha males and so much time and resources wouldn't have to be wasted on such incredibly inferior human beings.

I understand if it's undesirable, however to think that a person is responsible for something someone else did to them as a child and throughout life is the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

It's like saying it's your fault your mom had HIV and passed it on to you...it's YOUR fault your father was an ass and came home drunk and threw bottles at your mom and decided your sister would suffice when he was horny.

Pretty ****ed up.
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 107
The infamous NICE GUY rant
Posted: 7/26/2011 9:49:43 PM
Self proclaimed nice guys should be avoided at all cost.Should you ever encounter one,speak in a calm and peaceful tone of voice.Back away slowly and never let them near you again.

The most nasty,aggressive,demanding,entitled creature on the face of the Earth is the self proclaimed nice guy.Underneath all their proclamations of being a nice guy lies the heart of the biggest jerkwad you will ever run into.They smile sweetly to your face and are most accommodating and helpful,but keep in mind everything they do for you comes with a huge price tag.They only do things for others when they believe they can collect on it later.Nothing is done out of the goodness of their hearts.

Truly good people do things for others with no expectations of anything in return.Truly good people don't have to repeatedly insist to others that they are such a good person.Good people don't have to broadcast all of the good and helpful things they do for others.To a good person the good deeds themselves are reward enough.They do not need throngs of cheering people.
 UglyFroggieCritter
Joined: 8/21/2010
Msg: 108
The infamous NICE GUY rant
Posted: 7/27/2011 7:59:02 PM

I have an idea, let's exterminate all the inferior, insecure nice guys and fat chics just like Hitler


Um, seriously? Wow.
 Vijays
Joined: 5/10/2011
Msg: 109
The infamous NICE GUY rant
Posted: 7/31/2011 1:35:29 PM
I read it and I'm aware it describes me. Insecurity is a hard thing to deal with even if you know there's no reason for it to be there.
 Riskbreaker
Joined: 6/28/2007
Msg: 110
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History
The infamous NICE GUY rant
Posted: 8/2/2011 8:26:29 AM
Any woman that still thinks like a damn tabloid magazine won't earn a second of my time. If you still walking around tossing labels at people, you should be locked in a basement until you grow up.
 Karma77Police
Joined: 7/24/2011
Msg: 111
The infamous NICE GUY rant
Posted: 8/3/2011 4:58:22 PM
What you wrote is nicely written but ****ing has nothing to with reality so i would say fairly stupid.
 otherworldpoet
Joined: 11/27/2010
Msg: 112
The infamous NICE GUY rant
Posted: 8/4/2011 5:03:57 PM
Now where's the article for the "nice girl"
 ForumFlashLight
Joined: 5/16/2011
Msg: 113
The infamous NICE GUY rant
Posted: 8/5/2011 7:32:11 PM
Seriously.

Real nice guys are MEN. I would call them the Good Guys.

However, their evil impersonators go around calling themselves nice guys and doing a few things the real Good Guys do...

The impersonators are weak, and truly scary to any woman who has seen what they will do to us once they are a)disappointed b) rejected.

The impersonators are vicious adolescents in grown-up bodies. But they hang out with the guys and mimic everything. All of us get fooled once or twice, because they steal your behavior.

Sometimes we just don't get to date you because the situation was too awkward for either you or us to throw down a business card and a phone number.

Thanks for all the times you stopped and changed a flat for me and walked away so I wouldn't get nervous. Really, you're immortal that way.

Thanks for all the times you walked in and did more than your share and carried something heavy for me even though I was a total stranger. Thanks.

Thanks for the day you shoved me out of the way of danger without even thinking twice. (Car I didn't see.) Thanks.

Truth is we love the Good Guys. The Good Guys make our world every day.

You'll win in the end.
 borazon
Joined: 11/29/2011
Msg: 114
The infamous NICE GUY rant
Posted: 12/29/2011 1:40:31 AM
I seriously don't believe that nice guys consider themselves to be insecure.Yes,I had my share of failed relationships but it wasn't because of me feeling insecure.
The first one was because of the fact that she wanted to get intimate pretty fast and I am usually very slow as far as things like this are concerned.I usually take a long time before i kiss someone so getting intimate takes even more time.It lasted around for 3 months
The second time,she turned out to be bit materialistic.I like to live a simple life and don't want to spend my money buying expensive stuff.I would rather save that money to buy a house and retire early so that I can travel places.There are number of places on my must-see list which I won't be able to visit,once I grow too old.This one was a LTR.
The third time around,the person turned out to have a boy friend of 2 years.Once I found out about it,I quietly moved out of her life and they have a pretty stable life now.It was maybe more because of the fact that she used to have a huge crush on me so when I asked her out she couldn't refuse me.This one lasted for around 2 months.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 115
The infamous NICE GUY rant
Posted: 12/29/2011 4:33:05 AM
The moment you quit trying to please a woman based on what you think she wants, or hints that she wants, or a magazine says that she might want - you will be infinitely happier. Maybe alone - but infinitely happier.
 bottleguy
Joined: 3/22/2011
Msg: 116
The infamous NICE GUY rant
Posted: 12/29/2011 9:14:40 AM
I would rather be nice and alone than be an arrogant jackass with a supermodel.
 RockyDakota
Joined: 5/16/2011
Msg: 117
The infamous NICE GUY rant
Posted: 12/29/2011 10:12:02 AM

With women like this, it's always one step forward and 10 steps back. She will show interest -- even extreme interest -- and then suddenly and inexplicably become unavailable. No matter what you do, no matter how often you call her, she's gone -- and you won't see her again for weeks or even months.

I won't put up with that. If she evades and keeps hiding, she's done. These kinds of women will never believe any man when he says "I'm not him".
 --Zen--
Joined: 6/29/2011
Msg: 118
The infamous NICE GUY rant
Posted: 12/29/2011 10:33:02 AM
Any male that needs to be told how to act is not a man. We're all students of life. You can assimilate predigested material or you can use your own head and figure out what works for you.
 RockyDakota
Joined: 5/16/2011
Msg: 119
The infamous NICE GUY rant
Posted: 12/29/2011 10:48:55 AM
Here is my thoughts...in the form of a list.
Women using these men is hypocritical. So don't get pissed when a guy uses you for the exact same thing
We all have insecurities
Women want the common ground between the Good Guys and bad guys.
Was the novel/proposal replies really needed?
Everyone gets rejected
When rejected swallow your pride and admit defeat. There will be more opportunities
Put a one strike rule into place.
Doormats finish last
If she looks like a stripper she probably is
Strippers know lonely men when they see them
 infennario
Joined: 5/24/2011
Msg: 120
The infamous NICE GUY rant
Posted: 12/29/2011 11:53:37 AM

Seriously.

Real nice guys are MEN. I would call them the Good Guys.

However, their evil impersonators go around calling themselves nice guys and doing a few things the real Good Guys do...

The impersonators are weak, and truly scary to any woman who has seen what they will do to us once they are a)disappointed b) rejected.

The impersonators are vicious adolescents in grown-up bodies. But they hang out with the guys and mimic everything. All of us get fooled once or twice, because they steal your behavior.

Sometimes we just don't get to date you because the situation was too awkward for either you or us to throw down a business card and a phone number.

Thanks for all the times you stopped and changed a flat for me and walked away so I wouldn't get nervous. Really, you're immortal that way.

Thanks for all the times you walked in and did more than your share and carried something heavy for me even though I was a total stranger. Thanks.

Thanks for the day you shoved me out of the way of danger without even thinking twice. (Car I didn't see.) Thanks.

Truth is we love the Good Guys. The Good Guys make our world every day.

You'll win in the end.


Great post.

“Nice” is something people do. “Good” is something people are. Waaay too many “nice guys” do nice in order to get something- which isn’t good or nice- and then rant.

It kinda reminds me of the “sensitive guy” moniker. In my experience, self-professed sensitive guys have not been very sensitive to anyone but themselves and were extremely sensitive about themselves.

I had a neighbor in my old town that used to plow my driveway and walkway. He had this amazing snow-blower and never told me he was doing it or anything. What a good guy! I was so grateful and still am.
 zuythemanfrog
Joined: 6/2/2011
Msg: 121
The infamous NICE GUY rant
Posted: 12/29/2011 10:38:19 PM

I won't put up with that. If she evades and keeps hiding, she's done. These kinds of women will never believe any man when he says "I'm not him".


Yep, I've pretty much lost all patience with the non-sense that some women subject men to. I've adopted a 3 strikes rule. Sometimes I don't even get to three before I give up on her, especially if she's on a dating site like POF. The women on these dating sites haven't earned the right for me to put a lot of effort into it. If they're going to be difficult, then I'm just going to move on and they can be someone else's problem.
 zuythemanfrog
Joined: 6/2/2011
Msg: 122
The infamous NICE GUY rant
Posted: 12/29/2011 10:48:04 PM
It's like I've said before IRL- if a guy is too aggressive, he scares women off. If he isn't aggressive enough, women won't take him seriously. It's a precarious balancing act we have to go through.
 RockyDakota
Joined: 5/16/2011
Msg: 123
The infamous NICE GUY rant
Posted: 12/30/2011 7:10:28 AM

I've adopted a 3 strikes rule

I say one strike rule. It's fine if they have reasons why they can't go out, gotta work, they're sick, whatever. But if it's excessive... Then they are done. Asking them for a date puts the ball in their court, they either say yes or no. If they say no then they are deleted and I move on. No reason for me to waste time on them. People have said its a little harsh but you gotta take the steps to keep yourself sane.

Women who string guys along are as bad as the guys who let them string them along. I have been there, what guy hasn't been. There just comes a time where you wake up and it was just a slap to the face.
 zuythemanfrog
Joined: 6/2/2011
Msg: 124
The infamous NICE GUY rant
Posted: 12/30/2011 7:58:51 AM
@Rocky:

Yeah, I agree but I believe in forgiveness and second chances if there is a legitimate reason why they can't. Now if I make a few attempts and things keep coming up I figure either they're stringing me along or are so busy or I am so low of a priority to them that there's no point in trying to continue with them. I just move on and find someone more available or interested.
 RockyDakota
Joined: 5/16/2011
Msg: 125
The infamous NICE GUY rant
Posted: 12/30/2011 8:23:55 AM

Message: @Rocky:

Yeah, I agree but I believe in forgiveness and second chances if there is a legitimate reason why they can't. Now if I make a few attempts and things keep coming up I figure either they're stringing me along or are so busy or I am so low of a priority to them that there's no point in trying to continue with them. I just move on and find someone more available or interested.

Well of course if there is a legitimate reason they can't, then that's fine. But like you said with the constant, "I can't", "I'm too busy", and no response is the cut off point.
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