Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 TrialSize
Joined: 10/17/2007
Msg: 4
What happened? Did I scare him off?Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
Guy sounds like he has control issues - everything done in a certain fashion and at the right time ie dishes, sheets, etc...

He probably very much liked the idea that you were inexperienced because then as the more experienced one he could control your sex lives.

When you propositioned him, you took control or tried to and he was likely intimidated by your lack of inhibition and maybe literally by some of the moves and positions suggested.

I would recommend you look for a man who is more focused on what he can help you get out of your first experience and less focused on his own need to control and frail ego. Meaning find a man with a loving heart and self confidence in the bedroom not a fussy little nitpicker sulker who probably sucks at it anyways! - I mean insert the B tab into the A slot at a 30 degree angle and repeat 12 times doesn't make for a sensual experience hahaha!

Cheers!
 es138
Joined: 4/9/2006
Msg: 6
What happened? Did I scare him off?
Posted: 3/24/2008 6:41:56 PM
I've been in situations where a girl comes forth to announce that she wants me to have sex with her... and then I highfive myself and go home. (Never let him think the mission has been accomplished)
I'm not saying that coming on to a guy will never come to fruition but there's gotta be some chase involved and if you're a semi virgin then it should be a semi challange or things won't appear to be adding up.
 ZeroSpazz
Joined: 1/31/2008
Msg: 9
What happened? Did I scare him off?
Posted: 3/24/2008 7:09:22 PM
I would have to wonder Elana what you would have done if the situation where reveresed? Just suppose he came on to you like a ton of bricks, would you have went forward with it? Thought he was a jerk and told him to leave? Where would you have gone with that?
Do you only like guys who seem to show some respect for your semi-virgin status? Or does it really matter if the guy is really a horn dog and would take you in a minute as soon as you let him?
 happyboi
Joined: 12/8/2006
Msg: 12
What happened? Did I scare him off?
Posted: 3/24/2008 7:32:29 PM
Jeeze, I don't think guys have THAT fragile of an ego. Honestly, I don't see where the op went wrong, beyond finding the "wrong" guy... not the "right" guy. Sorry, but when making out with a beautiful woman, the dishes are WAY out of my mind. :-) That's just... kinda weird.

I am sorry, OP, that you had troubles with him, but as he said, better luck next time. It will make that time, that much more amazing for you.
 suffolkcountybarhoppers
Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 16
What happened? Did I scare him off?
Posted: 3/24/2008 9:44:12 PM
Has anyone reading this thread ever watched "Dexter" on Showtime?

"I chose Rita because she is, in her own way, as damaged as me. "
 wonwascallywabbit
Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 18
What happened? Did I scare him off?
Posted: 3/25/2008 3:06:31 AM
He apparently had a few issues. I wouldn't read much into it. I would just wait til you find the one again and when the time is right just go for it. I have to say someone telling me they are a virgin then sending me an email full of sex talk would make me scratch my head. No not that one!
If you're with someone that acts a certain way, and out of the blue they do something out of character, it may make you wonder that's all.
 thebigslim
Joined: 9/27/2005
Msg: 21
view profile
History
What happened? Did I scare him off?
Posted: 3/26/2008 11:54:15 AM
this is an interesting situation to say the least..... first off, you did absolutely nothing wrong and why he was scared off is beyond me.... he said he was comfortable with your semi-virgin state... which i think is refreshing to see in this day and age (only cause im still holding out as well... same logic you have)

anyways, if anything, by the books.... you went and educated yourself about the whole act and such, that alone should be reason enough for him to be ... i dont know, excited?

definitely his loss for screwing it up with you...... just know you had no reason to apologize to him for what you said. I wish you the best of luck in your search for finding that one guy you wish to loose it to

check out one of my forum topics you can definitely relate to.....

http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts3856364.aspx
 TheLimey
Joined: 2/24/2008
Msg: 22
view profile
History
What happened? Did I scare him off?
Posted: 3/26/2008 12:25:17 PM

Guy sounds like he has control issues - everything done in a certain fashion and at the right time ie dishes, sheets, etc...

He probably very much liked the idea that you were inexperienced because then as the more experienced one he could control your sex lives.

When you propositioned him, you took control or tried to and he was likely intimidated by your lack of inhibition and maybe literally by some of the moves and positions suggested.


Maybe it's stage fright? He was thinking the OP wouldn't realise what a hopeless lay he was if she was inexperienced Then he finds out she's "read the manual" & knows how it should go at which point he bails out because of performance anxiety etc...?
He doesn't want to be the guy who hears "Hey stumpy, according to Cosmo 15 seconds ain't gonna cut it"
Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  >