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 Natgoat
Joined: 3/24/2011
Msg: 262
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!Page 14 of 16    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
You have to watch-out for Proper Ladies...alone at a bar....
Many of them study Martial Arts..!!
Another good reason to be Respectful to them..!!
 SWroadrunner
Joined: 4/13/2011
Msg: 263
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 11/22/2011 11:10:28 PM
Women do not have a monopoly on unwanted advances in bars. At my local dance venue a gentleman friend of mine was being pestered by a woman under the influence. He got up to go to the men's room and on his way back sat somewhere else. the bartender moved his drink for him.

I am short. Sitting at a bar to eat is uncomfortable. I like to sit at a table. The view is better. can see the door who is coming in. In a new place I am thinking of making a regular I can get a lay of the land better from a table. See who the regulars are. who is drinking a lot, who is social.
In new bar- dance venue I do not drink anything but soda til I am really sure of the terrain. Truly it has been rare for a regular to come on to a newbie who is not drinking. And a newbie (male) who does not know me.. Never gets far. I get up and don't come back. Ther are other places to sit. And other people to talk to.
 SunnyGal42
Joined: 2/15/2011
Msg: 264
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 11/22/2011 11:44:17 PM
GREAT TOPIC!

I go out to eat by myself occasionally - mainly lunch or early dinner - and it's like every "regular" there - -who has been there for the previous 2 hours, drinking - - - - tries to get in your business or try to pick you up.!

I do still go eat alone and bluntly say, I'm sorry. I just came here to eat. And smile. AND - I also find it VERY helpful to get to know, at least by name, someone who works there, knows you're alone and may not want to be bothered, so they can keep an eye on the "regulars"

And! A BIG CHEER to all of us women, whether we have a man or not, have the confidence enough to go out and eat alone, go to a movie alone - anything! We have the right to"our" time, and if we don;t want to be bothered, and sometimes we like the attention!!

Whatever the case - -keep up the self-confidence!
 SugahPunkin
Joined: 5/28/2010
Msg: 265
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 11/23/2011 1:03:11 PM
An old thread but a good one.. Ill bite.

Two quick scenarios.
One, went to the local Sports Bar because a friend said she and her husband got a great burger there. I was shopping, it was around noon so I stopped in to try it. Dressed casually, jeans and shirt, I sat at the first open booth by the door. The waiter took my order and few minutes later a man walked up to me.
"HI, welcome to ----------- Im the new owner here. Is this youre first time? I dont remember seeing you. "
I said yes it was. His immediate reply to me was this is a family style sports BAR (yea I know) and we are not wanting women looking for dates.
LOL.. I swear he actually said it. Now, here I am, noontime, in my runabout jeans and shirt just looking for a hamburger..!!
I left after explaining myself to him. He asked me not to leave and wanted to let the house pay for my meal but I refused and told everyone I knew what happened.

Two, it was summertime and I was wearing my new maxi dress looking cute I thought. Went to the local Italian restaurant (which makes an awesome sausage lasagna) and ordered. The waitress came back a few minutes later telling me how pretty I am. I thanked her because Im getting older and you appreciate every compliment you get. She smiled and left. Then a few minutes later she asked if I was married. I said no. I didnt think much about it...until she came back again and asked if I would date a doctor. I said what?? Well, no. I dont think I would because Ive worked with them and for the most part they make horrible decisions and work long hours and for some reason most feel like they "own" you because they have lots of money.
She returned a few minutes later and asked me again if I would be willing to change my mind. WTF?? She kept telling me how pretty I am. Made feel soo uncomfortable with it I asked for a doggie bag when my food arrived. (I might be uncomfortable but that lasagna makes everything better I swear) I had to leave. As Im leaving a man stops me at the door. Smiles and says hello.. apparently he was the one asking (paying) her to ask me questions for HIM... ugh....

Now. Im a cute girl.. but Im old.. lets face it. Flattered maybe..but it was uncomfortable in both scenarios..
BUT I do go out even tho I am alone. If I had to wait for someone to go with me I would never go anywhere at all... and I like going places and doing things. I went to Silver Springs by myself. I go shopping alone, I eat alone... that's only two incidents and it doesnt happen alot.. but you shouldnt stop life because of others.
Go out. Have fun! Life is worth it.

:)
 takingmytime3309
Joined: 3/30/2011
Msg: 266
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 11/23/2011 2:13:33 PM
Since I'm male I don't have that issue, but I do have a suggestion.

I regularly dine out alone. If you are eating at a bar that happens to serve food I can see that problem even if you sit at a table or high-top.

Have you tried a restaurant that happens to have a bar?
I don't like to sit at the bar because it is too noisy. I just get a booth in the dining room. Most chain restaurants have the booth for two and if they don't, take one for four.

I think if you are in the dining room at a booth that guys will be less likely to come over if they do at all. A table is probably more approachable, but I really can't imagine someone approaching you in the dining room.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 267
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Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 11/24/2011 1:14:11 AM
You have to watch-out for Proper Ladies...alone at a bar...
Many of them study Martial Art..!!
Another good reason to be Respectful to them..!!


I have heard these Proper Ladies who studied Martial Art at a bar downing their sorrow on a dozen mugs of budwieser for being desperadas really don't practice their martial arts on flying kick a guy because they are wearing micro mini skirt with just teeny wenie piece of thong or sometimes nothing, Proper Ladies are very discreet about it ,they don't show it in public...
 vanityfair55
Joined: 1/20/2009
Msg: 268
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 11/24/2011 9:01:15 AM
It's just movies and shopping for me alone,but would love to be able to go into a pub just to have a drink and relax alone without feeling really uncomfortable!
 DrummingNut
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 269
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 11/24/2011 3:47:38 PM
I go out alone quite often.
I wheel right on in the place/restaurant/movie/whatever and don't worry over it.
But I don't do bars, unless there is live music I want to hear.
Had a blast at the Dueling Piano tavern!

I'm 98% of the time alone anyway.
Doesn't stop me.
I get on out there, drive someplace, then get out and go see/do whatever hits my fancy.

And yep, I get lots of "looks", lol!
 nativerock
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 270
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 11/24/2011 3:55:08 PM

It's just movies and shopping for me alone,but would love to be able to go into a pub just to have a drink and relax alone without feeling really uncomfortable!


I will not go to a movie alone but shopping alone is something I always do.. As for dining out I will only go for a late lunch.. I do not go to bars alone who needs the hassle of being around a bunch of men that have been drinking excessively..

nativerock
 dmzvisitor
Joined: 3/25/2011
Msg: 271
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 11/24/2011 4:06:47 PM

Oh how I envy you....I live in Ireland (from Canada) and miss the idea of being able to go out to somewhere random, have a drink and a bite to eat. Or my favourite, go to a bar with live music and just blend into a crowd. Here, if I go out on my own, the stares and the glares I get are incredible. The gossip begins and before you know it, I'm just a 'slut' looking to get laid (or whatever crap they can come up with) Needless to say, I don't go out alone.


Hmm. I had a plan for a solo visit. Now I have the urge to invade. . .
 SunnyGal42
Joined: 2/15/2011
Msg: 272
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 12/3/2011 12:28:31 AM
breathoffreshair - - I tried to message you but filters have me blocked.

Is that REALLY like that where you live currently? That is terrible and I can't believe it!

I viewed your profile - you are a beautiful girl and your first date - what you wrote, I LOVED!

Good luck to you, and all us ladies here !!
 NoOrdinaryGal
Joined: 9/28/2010
Msg: 273
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 12/3/2011 11:43:24 PM
I go out alone all the time. I go to the neighborhood pub alone every week. I don't have a problem with this. Nobody ever approaches me anyway. I just have my drink/snack and then leave. This city sucks in the men's department. If I want to meet a man, I will have to go to Fort McMurray or somewhere where there are men and I mean real men.
 wooliepack
Joined: 5/10/2009
Msg: 274
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History
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 1/15/2012 9:59:07 PM
I've noticed this pattern EVERYWHERE, not just bars and restaurants. I participate in big public celebrations, which draw lots of women, but invariably they arrive with their men and often children as well. My buddies and I love to watch, but the meetup potential is close to -nil-.
Since women complain relentlessly about NOT being able to meet men, this is the first issue they need to address.
 deere rancher
Joined: 7/9/2008
Msg: 275
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 1/16/2012 3:59:15 AM
OP ....it IS much more difficult to approach a woman when she's in a pack .

But men who persist after the intial inquiry , are just rude ,... are you sure you are
clearly stating what you don't want ..?

maybe , you can find a more friendly place to dine ....... or team up ..like other women do ..and then complain about how men never approach you
 SeaCatcher
Joined: 9/11/2011
Msg: 276
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 1/16/2012 4:19:20 AM
Sometimes I go out alone to restaurants, concerts, and other events, sometimes I go with friends, sometimes I met up with friends. My comings and my goings are my choices. We older women should reclaim our freedom, reclaim the night.
 PinkZombies
Joined: 12/20/2011
Msg: 277
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 1/16/2012 1:34:42 PM
I am new here and this topic struck a chord because it is about stereotypes and assumptions. As an independent person I have never had much problem going places alone, though sometimes I get a little lonely. I don't mind seeing movies alone, though I won't typically go when the theater is crowded. I don't visit pubs because it isn't my thing. However the prevailing attitude that I "shouldn't" do something solo because I'm a single female has always puzzled me.

Once I sat neglected in a restaurant for the longest time because the waitress assumed I was waiting for a gentleman to join me! WTH!

I mountain bike and hike alone, it's no big deal. I want to go kayaking alone, have yet to try it. I take my teenage sons on certain activities but they are getting too hormonal. Sure I would rather go with friends when they are available, but no reason to just sit around when they aren't.

Also I work night shifts in what is considered a safe part of town. For my break (we're talking 3am) I sometimes drive off and get gas, grab a cup of cocoa, or buy a big box of donuts for my co-workers. Some of the guys have kittens over this and literally beg me not to leave. One of them recently told me it's because "*Ladies* don't go out alone at night". He stressed the, "You're a LADY" as if to shame me out of leaving. He is originally from the deep south, if that makes a difference.
 PureSentiment
Joined: 1/28/2012
Msg: 278
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 2/9/2012 3:14:00 PM
I do think there is a perception about a woman eating out alone. many men think the woman is looking to get laid, which is really really annoying because i see men out alone all the time.



Why not pen a small sign to carry in you're purse, and stand it on the table. Saying: “Married” or what might be more effective “LOOKING TO GET MARRIED"



How about we ask for a "Reserved" sign at our table!!!!!
 1388SmartBlonde
Joined: 5/15/2011
Msg: 279
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 2/9/2012 3:31:32 PM
I don't go out alone to bars except one locally where I can stop after work on a Friday night because there is an expectation that a woman alone is looking for a pickup (I am not) or that she is not a proper lady (I am).

Restaurants, stores, community events are not problem and I frequently travel alone anywhere I want to go. I have girlfriends I hang out with on occasion, but I am by far the most adventerous of the group when it comes to going out by myself and frankly, I enjoy the peace and quiet sometimes of a good meal while reading a good book.

I do wish POF would let single women with similar interests contact each other, because here is a large group of women in the same over 40 and single boat. I have seen some terrific women here in the forums and we could have fun hanging out as friends while waiting for Mr. Right to show up.
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 280
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 2/9/2012 3:36:37 PM
Might wish to try the meetup.com groups for activities to do so you can do things and not be alone!
 beachdancer
Joined: 6/5/2007
Msg: 281
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 6/1/2012 2:15:27 AM
Well whether proper ladies don't go out alone or not. I find if I go out alone I am not treated, in general, like a proper lady. The double standard is still alive and well.
 Infinity_G
Joined: 1/29/2012
Msg: 282
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 6/1/2012 8:34:05 AM
Even though, this post is considerably old....I have to say the OP's issue is being approached while alone, as opposed to just the issue of going out alone. Sounds like she's trying to figure out how to go out alone, without being approached.

But it's true,I hardly find a woman sitting having a meal alone. In fact, they are either with a sig other/husband, other friends or co-workers. It's a rare sighting seeing one dining alone.

If she IS alone, she's waiting on someone to join her in a few moments.
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 283
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 6/1/2012 1:12:58 PM

redarcangel
A bar should be the last place you look for a b/f. Most men in bars don't go in there with the thought of finding a g/f..maybe a one-night-stand..but certainly not a g/f..or a possible SO. I know I don't want to meet someone half lit in a bar. I want both of us to be fully conscious with clear enough minds to talk and actually remember what's being said. Not a sot that can't think without the use of alcohol to blur his mind and eyes..not to mention the fact it's a little hard to see a person well in a dimly lit bar. Ever hear the girls allllllll look prettier at closing time? Hmmmm..now..I wonder why they came up with that saying? Sheesh!


Sheesh, read the forums here and all the people that met their SO at a bar and it turned into a LTR, I guess those of us that did that are all a bunch of LOSERS.
 Daskate
Joined: 12/15/2011
Msg: 284
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 6/1/2012 7:04:33 PM
There should be no problem with women going out to a bar or club alone; you just have to know what to do if a problem arises. In the OP's case it doesn't say if she notified the bar staff or not which should be the first thing she did when they wouldn't take no for an answer. Note, the bar staff can not see or hear everything; just because you think the staff might know doesn't work. You must inform them. If they provide no assistance then it's time to leave. If you have to leave you should try to contact the owner or bar manager the next day to let them know what happened to you and the lack of help you received because most bars\clubs don't want to lose business by having a bad reputation. I mean if your place has a reputation for disrespecting women then women won't come and the men will stop shortly after because no matter how cheap\good the drinks are, most single guys do not want to hang out at a sausage fest.
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 285
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Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 6/1/2012 10:14:52 PM
Unless you are born as part of a "multiple" (twin, triplet, etc.), you come in this world alone, and you will leave it alone.

So what is the problem going places alone, as long as one does whatever is necessary to be "safe"?
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 286
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 6/2/2012 8:29:57 AM
^^^

you come in this world alone, and you will leave it alone. So what is the problem going places alone…

I also came into this world naked. I like where this is going.
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