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 kate_s
Joined: 5/12/2006
Msg: 82
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Proper ladies don`t go out alone!Page 3 of 16    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
The proper response to "Table for One?" is a confident "Yes please, I'd like a table near the window".


As a business woman and "lady" I often find myself out alone and I have no fear, alert yes, fear no. If you have a confident attitude you will be fine. If somone is persistent I call the waiter or barkeep over and ask politely that the person be escorted to their seat voluntarily or if needed by the bouncer. Ladies I hope to see you on the outdoor patio's enjoying dinner and your drink of choice. CHEERS!
 kindapicky
Joined: 8/28/2005
Msg: 83
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 4/7/2008 2:58:47 PM
When a woman comes into a bar alone, men think she is on the hunt. and looking to go to bed with someone. It's the environment. And believe me when you leave with some one, everyone knows it. And they will remember seeing you drunk in there 10 years ago, be a "lady" and keep the dogs away. Then us decent guys will pay you a lot of attention.
 flyonthewall!
Joined: 3/31/2008
Msg: 84
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 4/8/2008 9:50:02 AM
Where I live it's pretty common to go out for a meal or a drink alone -- and a lot of women (and men) will do it at a bar rather than sit alone at a table. It's even "proper" to start a conversation with the man or woman next to you to pass the time. It's easy to dissuade improper attention with the simple words "No thanks".

This is the 21st century. Women are independent. They own property, have careers, and don't need to rely on men to make it in the world.

Maybe in the 19th century going out alone was scandalous, but then so was showing your ankles.

It's now 200 years later. There's nothing "improper" about going out alone, or sitting at a bar alone.
 zo2
Joined: 2/16/2005
Msg: 87
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Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 7/24/2008 11:33:38 PM
Good gief, this isn't 1950! call me goofey, but I see a lady come into a somewhat sophisticated bar alone who acts like a lady, I presume she is one. Could it be that the guys who think that way are in the bar just to get laid and presume everyone in there has sunk to their level?
 jm0405
Joined: 7/7/2008
Msg: 90
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 7/25/2008 2:18:17 PM
I never go out and eat alone, go in bars alone...NO WAY...it's asking for trouble if you do because some men don't know the word no and you might find yourself as some statistic on the news in some fashion. I never asked why this happens. I just understood it does - it exists - play it safe - be careful. Also, when a woman comes in alone, I think men instantly think she's the bar slut. If you recall, the Friday night tramp usually walked in the bar by herself and the horndogs circle that wagon real quick.
 Insfmemory
Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 91
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 7/25/2008 5:08:53 PM
I dont know where you are hanging out, but I live in the US, travel a great deal for business, and have never encountered the type of behavior you've described. On most nights, especially when traveling, I sit at the bar if I choose and have conversed with others there for the same reason.. and early meal and a glass of wine. Ive never ever had a guy cross the line. Sounds to me like youve encountered the male version of the "bar fly".... next time one of them starts crossing the line and making you feel uncomfortable.. tell the bartender. Chances are the dude has already consumed more than he should and a taxi should be called for him.
 HONEYTRYME
Joined: 3/17/2008
Msg: 93
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Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 7/25/2008 10:30:43 PM
I DON'T NO BUT I BET IT WOULD BE A GREAT DATE JUST ALSO NOT TRING TO BE TO FORWARD WITH THIS POSTING AS I'M SURE YOUR A GREAT LADY WITH HIGH STANDARDS OK. WOULD STILL BE NICE TO SEE YOU SMILE AND RELAX AS IT SEEMS YOU MAYBE A LITTLE STRESSED IN PHOTO , NOT BEING SARCASTIC OR MEAN SEEMS THAT YOUR JUST WOKING TO HARD WHEREEVER YOUR WORKING AND I DON'T NO WHERE YOUR HANGING OUT AT BUT I SURE WOULD LIKE TO NO MAYBE WE COULD SHARE A FEW SMOOTH RELAXING DRINKS , AS LIKE I SAID YOU SEEM TO BE A GREAT AND PROFESSIONAL PERSON LIKE MOST REAL LADIES TRYING TO MAKE YOUR OWN WAY NOT HAVE IT GIVEN TO YOU LIKE ALLOT OF PEOPLE THINK IT SHOULD BE GIVEN TO THEM . I LOOK AT IT AS MOST REAL TRUE LADIES WANT THERE LIFE TO BE HAPPY FOR THEM AND WHO THEY CHOOSE NOT WHO CHOOSES THEM . STILL WOULD MAYBE LIKE TO MAYBE ONE DAY MEET YOU AS I THINK WE MAY HAVE MET ONE DAY IN THE PAST LIFE SOMEWHERE IN FAYETTEVILLE OR SPRING LAKE . ANYWAY HAVE A GREAT SPEECH AS YOU ARE WHO YOU WANT TO BE AND WHAT YOU MAKE YOURSELF A RESPECTED LADY IN YOUR OWN RIGHT IN MY WORLD. SMIEL GOD HAS BLESSED YOU WITH IT STILL A GREAT PICTURE SHWS THE TRUE YOU JUST ONE OF THOSE DAYS.
 wishfulthinkn
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 94
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 7/26/2008 3:04:58 AM
nice topic! i've driven past a nice lounge time to time and thought i'd like to stop and have a cool tall drink and try the atmosphere on for size....and i keep on driving every time! this even though i will go into casinos on my own and i will go to those bars.

i think the issue for me is that i don't care to look for new friends in a bar and i don't have the energy to explain why i'm not interested to men i don't know and am not interested in! lol

but there are plenty of places i go alone that my mom would never dream of, so progress huh?
 justme1201
Joined: 7/22/2007
Msg: 98
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 7/26/2008 10:29:44 AM
This post was obviously started a long ago, and I've not read through every post here.. but my answer would be, find a different bar. I, too, sometimes just want to stop for a beer and dinner on the way home from work. I prefer to sit at the bar, because I am social, and enjoy talking to the bartender and the people around me. Sitting at a table, too boring! How the "crowd" reacts to a woman alone does depend on where you go, what kind of place, what kind of clientele.

Men who think a woman alone is out on the prowl? Need to get with the program. It's 2008. This is NOT necessarily the case. It's just a double-standard.
 TX_Blonde
Joined: 4/14/2008
Msg: 100
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 7/26/2008 8:34:25 PM
Well why are you sitting at the bar? The bar in my opinion is a social place - where people can freely speak to you. If you don't want people to have dialogue with you then you should sit in a booth or table . Has nothing to do with being social - the regulars would be rude if they didn't speak to you in my opinion.

I eat in restaurants and bars frequently but typically not at the bar.
 mustconvert
Joined: 11/18/2007
Msg: 102
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 7/27/2008 1:20:22 AM
First of all ladies shouldn't get drunk period if they have class and sofistication. Now I'm not saying you can't let your hair down and get a little tipsy but should be done in a safe and escorted environment SO THE GOLDEN RULE LADIES ALWAYS
HAVE AN ESCORT AND JUST ONE MORE IS TOO MUCH
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 104
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 7/27/2008 11:25:51 AM

Several times, I have walked out because other families and couples have been waited on before me, while I was there and seated long before they came in.


Thank you for bringing that up. It can happen in bars and other places too. But I'll be damned if I will let social discrimination( because tha's exactly what it is) push me into a relationship simply to be "OK".

I think as our cultural/social norms evolve...(nowdays women don't have marriage as the only way to get out of the parents home LOL)as it becomes more common for women to CHOOSE singlehood, careers that require travel ,lodging,and restaurant meals,and social activity without some sort of escort or attendant,this will change.
As for the tipping thing,I tip appropriately and maybe a bit more if service is exceptional. I absolute do get what drives your reasoning, but for me, paying extra because I got the same treatment a couple, family or single man would get, feels like another one of those "single woman surtax" things.
Cindy O
 Sapphireeyes
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 106
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 10/21/2008 8:10:09 AM
^^^^ it isn't just the men who feel that way...I have read on the forums several times where women have expressed that view...so like you I cuddle with the pets, who knows maybe one day I'll figure out why I am letting someone with a judgmental attitude impact my life.
 catkin2007
Joined: 12/18/2007
Msg: 109
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 10/21/2008 8:18:59 PM
Gandi, I totally agree with everything you said. I also find that when I leave if someone has been pesky... the regulars will walk out with me so that I am safe.

For those who are new to venturing out... the first time you go to a new place, establish a relationship with someone on staff. You will find most places are more than willing to escort you to your car. Also, pick a place that has well lit parking lots, or do as I do, spend the $$ and pay for valet parking.

Why stay home bored every night? Statics prove you are no safer at home. Robberies, shootings, rape and everything else happens in homes everyday.
 surely im shirley
Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 112
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 10/22/2008 6:29:45 AM
I visit a bar/grill/family restaurant by myself as well sometimes for a glass of wine and a light meal. If I want no interruptions, I find a quiet table. If I want to be amidst people and laughter, I would sit at the bar. That would probably be why I am there in the first place. I expect to be a person of attention there, and I generally am. I have never found a man to be annoyingly persistent unless he was impaired. Then I could easily ask him to leave me alone please and I could solicit the help of staff, if necessary. Now, if I were sending mixed signals to any others....for example....revealing clothing, flirtatious manner, sexual innuendo, etc., I would expect to be treated like I may be available. That...is the nature of the beast.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 114
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 10/22/2008 9:26:14 AM

Guys usually won't leave me alone, and most women look at me like it's a desperate attempt on my part to try and pick up a guy.

Simple solution.
Put a wedding band type ring on your left hand. And who cares how "most women" look at you? Do they sign your paycheck? Can they have you evicted from your home? Can you be jailed for going into a bar, having a drink and minding your own business?
I'm interested to hear how many women would actually do the wedding band thing...
Cindy O
 surely im shirley
Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 115
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 10/22/2008 2:34:15 PM
I would never put a wedding band on my hand that didn't actually belong there. I am completely comfortable with having a conversation with a man in a manner that indicates that I am not available for an 'easy hook up' without even coming close to saying those words. Mannerism and attitude will say it all. I am a "lady" and that conveyed attitude will transfer so that the dumbest of the dumb will get it.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 116
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 10/22/2008 3:00:43 PM

I would never put a wedding band on my hand that didn't actually belong there. I am completely comfortable with having a conversation with a man in a manner that indicates that I am not available for an 'easy hook up' without even coming close to saying those words. Mannerism and attitude will say it all. I am a "lady" and that conveyed attitude will transfer so that the dumbest of the dumb will get it.

Exactly! I've never had the issues that some of the other posters mention. But I offered the suggestion for those who say they cannot walk into a bar without being visually raped by both genders.
And I wanted to see how many would say, as you have, that you wouldn't wear a wedding ring that didn't actually belong there. Understand, I'm not questioning YOUR position,because I think you GET where I'm goin' with this. But I wondered how many other women who complain about getting "that kind of attention from men" would wear a wedding band so that they could have a drink, or listen to the band, whatever! in relative peace. I suspect most of them would demur, because they don't want to mark themselves as "already taken". What I'm trying to get across is that you CAN meet nice people in a bar,including guys who AREN'T just looking for ONS, but if you come in there with a "people will think I'm a whore" mindset, that is exactly what they WILL think.
No guts, no glory!
Cindy O
 867love
Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 117
Proper ladies don`t go out alone! -WTF
Posted: 10/23/2008 1:01:08 PM
just cuz you go out at night doesn't mean you have to get sloshing drunk. have a coke -or better yet take some advice from the movie "risky business" (when tom cruise was being a little sissy boy) his friends told him:
-"just say: "what the f--k", -what the f--k gives you all the freedom. next time you have to make a decision, just say W.T.F."
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 118
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Proper ladies don`t go out alone! -WTF
Posted: 10/23/2008 1:22:05 PM
So if I am not a proper ladies because I go out alone, what am I that i travel alone to third world counties. Oh my, I disappear into the culture of that country, and they call me friend and Madrina.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 120
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Proper ladies don`t go out alone! -WTF
Posted: 10/26/2008 6:25:47 AM
" my money is worth just as much as if I were part of a couple."


Good answer.

"The last thing that twists my horns about travelling alone is having to pay the "single supplement" for a room. Why?"

Agreed. My fav. all inclusive didn't used to charge a single supplement. About 18 months ago, the tour companies refused to sign contracts until the instated a single supplement. Now I pay $100./night extra to drink next to no booze, and eat "maybe" half the food a couple would. It is the same as I pay the same money for my air ticket as a person who weighs twice or three times my weight, yet we both pay $10./K for overweight luggage.
 surely im shirley
Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 122
Proper ladies don`t go out alone! -WTF
Posted: 10/27/2008 6:37:27 AM

My big complaint about going out alone to eat is the hostess saying, "Only one?" or "Just one?" My answer? "Yes, but my money is worth just as much as if I were part of a couple."


The hostess also says regularly....'just the two of you tonight?' I think that this is being overly sensitive, particularly when you realize that the norm for seating in any restaurant is at least two.


And yes, I've been left at a table while couples and single men have been served. And yes, I've walked out, after expressing my displeasure to the manager. No screaming, no hysterics, just justifiable outrage at the poor, discriminatory service.


This happens to everyone sometimes. The servers are human. Discrimination? Sometimes perhaps....What have you won when you leave?
 surely im shirley
Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 124
Proper ladies don`t go out alone! -WTF
Posted: 10/27/2008 8:48:08 AM
Having been a server in my younger years, I can confidently say that at least two for a table is "the norm".

When a restaurant is busy, a mistaken assumption can be made by a server that a single person at a table is waiting for someone. People are human and make mistakes.

Your last comment demonstrates your "over sensitivity". Lighten up.
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 129
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Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 11/2/2008 1:44:59 PM
Here's a great, TRUE STORY about what happens when women go out alone!

Last night I attended a POF event in a nearby town. We went to the Haunted Prison in Mansfield Ohio and then stopped at a pub afterward. In the "caravan" of about 10 cars between the prison and the pub (I was in the middle of the pack) a Sheriff's cruiser squeezed in behind me and turned on his lights! Nobody was speeding, nobody had been drinking...but I was the only female driving "alone". I stopped at the end of the drive into the parking lot at the pub while everyone else parked.

LOL! Funny thing is....I still don't know WHY I was pulled over (which, by the way is a FREQUENT occurance) nor did those cars who were following me. Per 2 of the drivers behind me, yes...I had used signals, and no, I was not driving "irradically". (I don't drink).

The mentality of a lot of people is.....you MUST have been doing something "improper"...or nobody would be questioning your right to be out alone after dark.

So, I'm with the rest of you..."proper" is a state of mind. Had I been at home having an orgy with 20 men....nobody would have questioned it LOL! But being out....all by my little ole self after dark was highly "improper". LOL!
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 132
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Proper ladies don`t go out alone! -WTF
Posted: 11/2/2008 4:14:39 PM

I work for a Senator, and I have an FOP card, so generally, if I get stopped by "Johnny Law", I hand over my driver's license, my FOP ID Card, and my Senate of Pennsylvania I.D. And that makes the problem "disappear"...........
Chocolate......I was just SOOOO very thankful that it was a countymountie and not a city cop!!!! Whewwww! (I was once married to one of them). We all had a good laugh about it though...particularly those of us from the area...who remember that there are currently 4 ex cops from there doing life sentences for the murders of their ex wives/girlfriends!

I resolved the problem with humor when he asked if I knew what I'd done wrong, I simply said....."No, but I hope it's not a jailable offense cause my HUSBAND gets really mad when he has to bail me out of jail in the middle of the night!" LOL!
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