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 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 207
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Proper ladies don`t go out alone!Page 6 of 16    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
Personally, I have found "going out" to meet ladies a complete waste of time. Most of the bars are populated by men looking to meet women, and there are usually very few women there to meet for some reason or other. If women want to meet men, I don't know why they don't go out more...
 Soulsister47
Joined: 7/31/2008
Msg: 208
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Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 12/22/2008 9:15:20 AM
Im all for women being independent and all. However, I do want a man in my life. There are a lot of things that I miss!!
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 209
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 12/22/2008 9:22:27 AM
I am fortunate in that I am surrounded by family and some really close friends so most of the time when I attend any kind of social function, it's usually with friends or family. I enjoy going to the bar on ocassion to shoot pool or have a drink, but admittedly, I have never gone into a bar on my own.... I know I would be uncomfortable with it. Sorry, but that's just me, even though I know times have changed.

Still, as a single lady on her own for more than 12 years, I do many things on my own....I have even driven from here to Ontario several times and loved it. Eating alone doesn't bother me either, probably because I'm such a people watcher. I actually enjoy it.
I know many people who would stay at home rather than venture out on their own....not me, I would be spending a lot of time twiddling my thumbs if I didn't just get out there and do it.

...maeflowers


 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 210
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Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 12/22/2008 9:24:36 AM
Proper ladies do many many things, and one of them is to seek others that they enjoy............ And this, my friends, can be as they are out with others, or out alone....

Companionship does not mean dependency at all, and there are many of us that are far beyond "needing" another, and much more into "wanting" another for many many many reasons......

Just my opinion......
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 211
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Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 12/22/2008 11:20:06 AM
and much more into "wanting" another for many many many reasons


^^Mr. Deac? I am confused with that last statement. Could you perhaps "clarify" this for us/me????
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 212
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Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 12/22/2008 11:36:37 AM
^^^^
What men are actually thinking.
1. One woman out alone - Buy her a drink an she's mine.
2 Two women out alone - How can they be alone if they are out as a pair? Either way, he thinks, hmm...could I handle em both?
3 Three women out alone - Again, not alone, but the dude is thinkin he may have to call a couple buds!
4. Four women out alone-What's up with this? More than one wimmin's is not alone! Dayum! lol. He thinks, hell let's all get a bowling team goin!
 canyunflyer
Joined: 2/6/2006
Msg: 214
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Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 12/22/2008 4:03:42 PM
Please don't blame some apparantly rude men in a public place for making the entire world unsafe and unpleasant for single women out alone. It isn't so. Its just your perception. (and apparantly most other mature single women). I for one don't see them out and about near enough. We might get hit by a drunk driver too. Unfortunately, it happens way too much. However, I am not going to stay off the highways because this possibility exists. Its a chance I am willing to take for the privilage of driving. I don't think its any different with our social stuff. In the end, its not about what "life" does to us... but How we are able to respond to it. Now... get back out there and have your nice wine and meal. And, remember... the next guy who decides to get brave and approach you just might be the one you have hoped for.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 215
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Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 12/22/2008 4:30:08 PM
Ms Moon........If I have to explain it, and you are confused, it must be done in such a way that "proper" ladies would understand.....hehehehe!!!

I would so rather just explain it my way, since I am neither prim nor proper, and not a lady at all.......

OT.......All who care to share, will find a way to do so, with others around, or alone.....

Just my opinion.....
 Soulsister47
Joined: 7/31/2008
Msg: 216
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Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 12/23/2008 7:45:10 AM
What Moondance is thinking:

1. One woman out alone = all my friends are married and can't go out with me tonight. Im gonna go out anyways and have fun.
2. Two women out alone = yay, my best friend and I are celebrating. weeeeeeeeeee
3. Three women out alone = cool the more the merrier.
4. Four women out alone = Party Time!!!
 Irishmystery
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 217
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 12/23/2008 3:49:27 PM
I go out to many places alone including lounges. Yes now and then you run into that attitude, but I seem to have a quick wit and have been able to stop their tongues from wagging. I have never liked going out in groups, there is always the friend that has had too much and you feel responsible to make sure they make it home okay. I also find that most people of the opposite sex have trouble coming and talking to you when you are in a group or if they do me up one of your friends will just about jump them.

I have also gone out to restaurants alone and ended up talking to people around me. I have had the single other diner come and sit with me, because they don't like to eat and want to talk with someone. It is nice to get to know people.

Get to know the bartender or waiter, tip them well and they will take care of obtrusive people for you, even those local boys. A good bartender or waiter knows that single females brings in more customers and more customers mean more tips. A lot of locals feel they don't have to tip so that cuts into their earnings.
 kbodley
Joined: 11/26/2008
Msg: 219
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Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 12/24/2008 11:31:33 AM
Absolutely great suggestions Irish! Also, if you are seated alone in a nice restaurant and notice another single standing in line waiting for a table, ask the hostess to invite the other single diner to join you (dutch treat of course)! I have met some great people this way, spent some lovely evenings getting to know people that I might otherwise not have met. This is especially true if you are a business traveler and staying someplace that is frequented by other business travelers. One note of caution - the key here is dinner and conversation! Never! Never! Never! Never hook-up or give out your room number! Be friendly not stupid!
 surely im shirley
Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 220
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 12/26/2008 9:19:02 AM
I'm going alone to the POF New Years Eve bash this year! I'll bet that I enjoy myself too!
 FortyFine44122
Joined: 2/9/2008
Msg: 222
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 12/27/2008 1:02:45 PM

Where I live, this is the culture...to sit somewhere and talk and be social.

SOO, Ladies...WHY NOT
I wanna live where she does

Unfortunately, I got to this country only 5 years ago, and in my culture it's very true: "Proper ladies don`t go out alone!" I know that sucks, but I can't make myself. Even if I am sitting at home alone - I can make any drink, but I don't like to drink alone...I can cook something beautiful...but I'd prefer conversation over the meal

I don't know why not....but it's NOT...I guess I am too proper
 Soulsister47
Joined: 7/31/2008
Msg: 223
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Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 12/29/2008 6:28:15 AM
well here is a thought. We should have a ladies night monthly night out, that way we can have someone to hang out with, instead of going out alone. If it's fun and works out, we can make it a bi-monthly thing or a weekly thing.
 sequoyah61
Joined: 12/8/2008
Msg: 224
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 1/1/2009 9:20:49 PM
I go out alone. I'm proper - wanna make sumpin of it?

I've found that if I want to talk to someone, all I have to do is pull out a pencil and a little tablet (I always carry them just in case a bolt of lightening strikes my brain and makes me think I have just had THE absolute most earth-shattering thought of the entire century and must jot it down before I forget it) and start writing. As soon as it appears that I'm perfectly happy being alone - someone will come over and talk to me. Works everytime!

If I don't want anyone to talk to me, I just there and look bored. Works everytime.
 bdragond1
Joined: 11/27/2008
Msg: 225
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Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 1/2/2009 12:55:51 PM
I am so glad to see so many women here that go out alone. I go do a lot of things alone...I've gotten use to it and it doesn't really bother me. But the one thing I'd love to do...go to our local karaoke bar (well it's not really a BAR...all they serve is beer and wine coolers) I just can't bring myself to do I guess because of my upbringing (or as the locals say it...my fetchin ups) I WANT to go because I love to karaoke but it's something I've resisted doing because as my mom always put it 'only THOSE types of girls go out to a bar alone' But then again, only THOSE types of girls are pierced and tattooed too in my late mothers eyes and I sure got past that hang up real quick.

I may just take that step and go there this weekend!
 Soulsister47
Joined: 7/31/2008
Msg: 226
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Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 1/14/2009 4:47:08 AM
Bdragond1, going by my experiences going to Karoeke bars, I would say just do it. Especially if your gonna sing. You will be so busy picking out songs and then singing when they call you to sing that you will hardly notice that your there alone. Im not gonna lie to you the first time, may feel a littler awkward but that feeling will go away. Especially if the person running the Karoeke is a good KJ, he or she will make you feel welcomed. I say take a chance. Good luck!
 smhrgs3000
Joined: 7/7/2008
Msg: 228
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 1/14/2009 12:21:43 PM
OK, since I've spent an evening or two, or 200, lol, eating or drinking in bars & restuarants, both locally, and virtually all over the continent on business & pleasure, this is one I have some credibility adressing.
First, a lot depends on what kind of eaterie or pub you're in. Some are geared more towards being local gathering spots, or as I often refer to them, watering holes, where locals truly do get territorial, and often times the guys do get "drunk n horny", and can start to NOT get to concerned about others opinions. Plus, since the problem guys here usually know virutally anyone who might intercede, if they could manage to "pick you up", it would actually be a major coup for them, a studly act of sexual prowess. Go figure, but that's how it is.
Also, even in these types of places, you'll also occassionally find some older "regulars", often widows or divorces, who honestly are alone, loney, hate sitting at home, and truly don't know any other way to meet ladies. One of the regulars in my Tuesday golf foursome is just such a guy, heart of gold, do anything for you, but still crustier'n a barnacle on the outside. As to how to tell the types apart, about all the advice I can offer is look closely, listen, and talk to them. One tip for "neighborhood spot": Get to know the female help. Trust me, any good bar mgr knows that a "hearty bar maid or sexy bartender, will draw business that a waiter, or male bartender never would,... so that's who they hire whenever possible. And they know all of the regulars, and almost without exception, one word from them will stop any regular dead in his tracks! NO ONE MESSES with the female staff, lest they incur the wrath of every regular in the joint. They can tell you who's harmless, who's a rodeo romeo, whos sincere, who's a stranger and should treated with appropriate coution, and who couldn't get it up with a crane & two Saturn boosters, lamo. They can, and if they know you're uncomfortable, will, intercede for you when one of "her boys" is getting out've line.
The other, probably more proper type of establishment, is one like a Benigans, or T G Fridays, and the crowd here usually isn't composed of quite as many regulars, but they also tend to be a bit less agressive, especially if you can manage to find an accecptably proper gentleman to sit next to, and possibly chat with a bit. If you look like your taken, you generally won'tbe bothered. Granted, you shouldn't have to do this, but it is an option if the place seems a little dicey. Honestly, businessmen are often worse than the blue collar regulars, but also can't handle their liquor as well. Again, the female, or male, staff can be invaluble. But if they are, be sure n tip em well.
Hope these tidbits help you some, if not, please write me personally, and I'll be glad to offer some more specific suggestions.
 smhrgs3000
Joined: 7/7/2008
Msg: 229
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 1/14/2009 12:33:49 PM
Moondace, normally I'd agree with you. But every time I start singing Karaoke, I can't hear anyone anyway because of all the neighborhood dogs howling. Maybe I should keep my day job, lol.
 DOLLBABY 1
Joined: 12/3/2008
Msg: 231
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Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 1/16/2009 5:45:50 PM
there is nothing wrong with a women going out alone ,,i have worked in many places bartender and managing restaurants and it is all how a women carries herself .act like lady you will be perceived as one,,and if safety is issue have someone walk you to car establishment be more then happy to they want you to come back !!
 kbodley
Joined: 11/26/2008
Msg: 232
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Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 1/18/2009 3:51:09 PM
123carrie! Good for you! I too have traveled throughout my career and find that when five oclock rolls around, it's a great time to get out and explore cities/countries that I might never have had the opportunity to see!

I always ask the clerk at the auto rental counter where he would take his girlfriend/wife/grandmother for Sunday dinner. I ask the front desk clerk at the hotel what one or two things they would recomend people see before leaving the area. I ask the guy at the gas station where they recommend for lunch.

As a result, I have found the absolute best fried chicken dinner in Fayetteville, Arkansas; seen fireflies sparkling over the riverside in Norfolk, Virginia; done the River Walk in San Antonio; etc. etc. I did all of these things alone, but in each instance was fortunate enough to find a local who was also out alone for the evening! Sometimes these "locals" were other single women, sometimes they were older gentlemen, and a few times they were men the same age as I was at the time. Each of these folks helped me enjoy a wonderful dinner and/or evening exploring their hometown! I have some wonderful memories!

Ladies! Be smart. Be careful. But - don't sit at home waiting for someone to take you out into the world! Go! Enjoy! If someone gets out of line, let the bouncer know and then sit back and let them do their job.
 robin 09
Joined: 1/28/2009
Msg: 233
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 1/31/2009 4:59:32 PM
It has been my experience that if you get to know the bar staff you will find that you aren't "going to a bar alone" you are actually going to see your friends. They are always there if you have a problem. If you wait for other people to go out - you may never get out.
 Miss New Year
Joined: 9/12/2008
Msg: 234
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 2/15/2009 2:53:03 PM
The old double-standard is alive & well. Territorial or not, if they're not the Owners of the establishment, they have no right over Power or Territory!
I can relate to your story. But do what you want / need to do.... set a few of the wize-guys straight & soon they'll stop the pi**ing rights! When women stay afraid & home alone because of these societal issues....NOTHING changes!
 judyarlinepuckett
Joined: 11/24/2006
Msg: 235
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Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 2/15/2009 4:13:36 PM
Unless a woman has several friends.
she either goes out alone.
or sits home alone.
you can actually enjoy things
without someone with you.
from a tv show.
to going out to a nice rest,
or night club with great live music,
personally people that label anyone.
should take a hard long look at their self.
before throwing stones.
a woman can't sit home waiting for Prince Charming
to knock at the door,
Cinderella went to the Ball alone..
and ended the evening.
with a Prince enchanted.
People..women or men..sometime it's a double standard,and women are considered bar flys,
but people that go to bars, are often and mostly nice people ,possibly in a lonely moment,
or realizing they need fun in their life. and enjoyment,
even when they are alone.
 judyarlinepuckett
Joined: 11/24/2006
Msg: 236
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Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 2/15/2009 4:20:10 PM
I would like to also say.
that a person needs to be aware of surroundings,
wherever they are.
and use good judgment .
Wal Mart. can be as dangerous
as a rest or night club.
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